Frank Lapidus is only a sliver below Daniel when it comes to my favorite characters introduced in the second half of LOST. Candid, caustic, but someone who will really stick his neck out. And I get the feeling that if he'd been piloting Flight 815 as intended, the landing would've been a little smoother. Here's a tribute to him, to the tune of Tony Orlando and Dawn's Candida.
Lapidus
Your landing was clean on the Island grass so green
Where you saw the cow you mentioned to Miles.
Though you barely knew any of the Island crew
You protected them with your wiles.
Oh, Lapidus!
So heroic and harried.
You knew that Seth Norris was married -
That it was a phony site.
Oh, Lapidus!
You have the strength of a cedar,
The noble heart of a leader.
Glad ya flew the second flight.
We freely admit we loved your caustic kind of wit
When you grumbled, “We‘re not goin' to Guam, are we?”.
You think the Island’s weird and you’ll soon grow back your beard,
But Frank, you’re right where we want you to be.
Oh, Lapidus!
So heroic and harried.
You knew that Seth Norris was married -
That it was a phony site.
Oh, Lapidus!
You have the strength of a cedar,
The noble heart of a leader.
Glad ya flew the second flight.
Though you barely knew any of the Island crew
You took a risk and you preserved them with your wiles.
Oh, Frank Lapidus!
So heroic and harried.
You knew that Seth Norris was married -
That it was a phony site.
Oh, Frank Lapidus!
You have the strength of a cedar,
The noble heart of a leader.
Glad ya flew the second flight.
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