LOST recaps and filksongs, with links to the songs that inspired them; non-LOST song lyrics are at bilbopooh.blogspot.com. All are unauthorized, and no infringement is intended; new lyrics © Erin McCarty.
Showing posts with label Naomi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Naomi. Show all posts
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Hoffs-Drawlar (Hotel Caliifornia, Don Felder / Glenn Frey / Don Henley)
Funeral Director: My deepest condolences. Friend or family? Jack: Neither.
- Through the Looking Glass, Part 2
"If you do leave this place, the day may come when you want to return."
- Ben, King of the Castle
On LOST, few relationships are as complicated as the one between Jack and John. While his death brings the doctor to the brink of suicide, he can't even bring himself to identify himself as John's friend. Then again, it's hard to blame him... Here are some musings from Jack at the Hoffs-Drawlar funeral parlor in the third and fourth season finales, to the tune of the Eagles' Hotel California.
Hoffs-Drawlar
Saw your name in the paper.
I had to look twice.
I’d done too much boozing;
Maybe this was the price.
But I wasn’t mistaken.
Sometimes it stings to be right.
I made my mind up as the plane touched down.
I had to end it that night.
As I gazed at the pavement,
About to take the leap,
I felt a fierce inferno and
I heard a crunch and a scream and a beep.
Went to go play the hero
Because that’s what I do.
When I got out of the hospital,
I had to come see you.
I’m here, but I find it hard to mourn ya.
I will not pretend (I will not pretend) that I was your friend.
Sorry you’re dead, but it’s hard for me to mourn ya.
All you brought my life (all you brought my life) was a lot of strife.
You put a knife through Naomi.
I always blamed you for Boone.
You blathered on about a sacrifice...
What a goon!
You set off those explosives,
Scads of C-4.
The Flame was in flames and
The sub was no more.
All the while you insisted
I misunderstood.
You swore that every single thing you’d done was
For the Island’s good.
And when you wearied of telling me not to leave,
You encouraged the tangle of deceit
I went on to weave.
I’m here, but I find it hard to mourn ya.
I will not pretend (I will not pretend) that I was your friend.
Yeah, Jeremy Bentham, it’s hard for me to mourn ya,
With your pseudonym (with your pseudonym) and your vanished vim.
The man here informed me
That nobody else came.
Pathetic. You went out a bitter old man,
All alone and lame.
You said that we were special
And shared one common fate.
I think I might accept that now,
But I’ve found my faith too late.
Who lurks in the shadows?
Am I really seeing Ben,
And can I trust he’ll get me back
To the Island once again?
He once tried to warn me
Of the lesson I would learn:
“If you leave this place, the day may come
When you want to return.”
Hotel California
Friday, April 16, 2010
Casualties Are Common (Apples and Bananas, Traditional)
On LOST, characters have a nasty habit of dying off - some of them more than once. Here's a little ditty about that to the tune of Raffi's Apples and Bananas.
Casualties Are Common
Alas, on LOST, LOST, LOST, casualties are common.
Alas, on LOST, LOST, LOST, casualties are common.
They got gunned down, down, down, Shannon, Dan and Libby.
They got gunned down, down, down, Shannon, Dan and Libby.
Somebody stabbed, stabbed, stabbed Lennon and Naomi.
Somebody stabbed, stabbed, stabbed Lennon and Naomi.
The Monster smoked, smoked, smoked Seth, Montand and Eko.
The Monster smoked, smoked, smoked Seth, Montand and Eko.
They went ka-boom, boom, boom, Leslie and Ilana.
They went ka-boom, boom, boom, Leslie and Ilana.
Who’s going next, next, next? Candidates, be careful!
Who’s going next, next, next? Candidates, be careful!
Casualties Are Common
Alas, on LOST, LOST, LOST, casualties are common.
Alas, on LOST, LOST, LOST, casualties are common.
They got gunned down, down, down, Shannon, Dan and Libby.
They got gunned down, down, down, Shannon, Dan and Libby.
Somebody stabbed, stabbed, stabbed Lennon and Naomi.
Somebody stabbed, stabbed, stabbed Lennon and Naomi.
The Monster smoked, smoked, smoked Seth, Montand and Eko.
The Monster smoked, smoked, smoked Seth, Montand and Eko.
They went ka-boom, boom, boom, Leslie and Ilana.
They went ka-boom, boom, boom, Leslie and Ilana.
Who’s going next, next, next? Candidates, be careful!
Who’s going next, next, next? Candidates, be careful!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Tell My Sister That I Love Her (Knock Three Times, Tony Orlando)
"Yeah, you remember when she said, "Tell my sister I love her"? Well, she doesn't have a sister. That's what we're supposed to say if we get captured, have a gun to our heads. Like right now, Jack here would say, "Tell my sister I love her," you get it?"
- Miles, Confirmed Dead
Last night, while looking up Tony Orlando and Dawn's Candida online, I happened upon Knock Three Times, so that was in my mind when I rewatched Confirmed Dead, the season four LOST episode introducing the Freighter Four. I was especially struck by Miles' exaggerated aggression and Daniel's complete confusion; guess he missed the meeting when they handed out the secret codes. Here's a little recreation of that scene to the latter tune.
Tell My Sister That I Love Her
Miles: Hey there, Jack. I think that you’re nuts
If you believe our security’s really so shoddy.
I know all about her dying.
There’s a likely chance you’re lying.
Soon I will know
Because you’re gonna show me
Her body.
Here’s the story.
If I say,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Jack, that is the sign -
Daniel: What sign?
Miles: There’s a gun to my head.
Get this straight, Dan.
Since she said,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Oh, I have a hunch -
Daniel: What hunch?
Miles: Why Naomi is dead.
Okay, I guess you guys are all right.
Don’t ask me how, but I now know
That you didn’t knife her.
You seem like a decent fella,
So here’s what I am gonna tell ya:
Be sure to keep your nose out, sniffing for codes to decipher.
Here’s the story.
If I say,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Jack, that is the sign -
Daniel: What sign?
Miles: There’s a gun to my head.
Get this straight, Dan.
Since she said,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Oh, I have a hunch -
Daniel: What hunch?
Miles: Why Naomi is dead.
Oh. I know all about her dying.
There’s a likely chance you’re lying.
Soon I will know
Because you’re gonna show me
Her body.
Here’s the story.
If I say,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Jack, that is the sign -
Daniel: What sign?
Miles: There’s a gun to my head.
(Daniel: I get it, I get it, I get it...)
Miles: Way to go, Dan!
Since she said,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Oh, I had a hunch -
Daniel: Wrong hunch!
Miles: Why Naomi is dead.
- Miles, Confirmed Dead
Last night, while looking up Tony Orlando and Dawn's Candida online, I happened upon Knock Three Times, so that was in my mind when I rewatched Confirmed Dead, the season four LOST episode introducing the Freighter Four. I was especially struck by Miles' exaggerated aggression and Daniel's complete confusion; guess he missed the meeting when they handed out the secret codes. Here's a little recreation of that scene to the latter tune.
Tell My Sister That I Love Her
Miles: Hey there, Jack. I think that you’re nuts
If you believe our security’s really so shoddy.
I know all about her dying.
There’s a likely chance you’re lying.
Soon I will know
Because you’re gonna show me
Her body.
Here’s the story.
If I say,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Jack, that is the sign -
Daniel: What sign?
Miles: There’s a gun to my head.
Get this straight, Dan.
Since she said,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Oh, I have a hunch -
Daniel: What hunch?
Miles: Why Naomi is dead.
Okay, I guess you guys are all right.
Don’t ask me how, but I now know
That you didn’t knife her.
You seem like a decent fella,
So here’s what I am gonna tell ya:
Be sure to keep your nose out, sniffing for codes to decipher.
Here’s the story.
If I say,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Jack, that is the sign -
Daniel: What sign?
Miles: There’s a gun to my head.
Get this straight, Dan.
Since she said,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Oh, I have a hunch -
Daniel: What hunch?
Miles: Why Naomi is dead.
Oh. I know all about her dying.
There’s a likely chance you’re lying.
Soon I will know
Because you’re gonna show me
Her body.
Here’s the story.
If I say,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Jack, that is the sign -
Daniel: What sign?
Miles: There’s a gun to my head.
(Daniel: I get it, I get it, I get it...)
Miles: Way to go, Dan!
Since she said,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Oh, I had a hunch -
Daniel: Wrong hunch!
Miles: Why Naomi is dead.
Labels:
~ Filksong,
~ Tony Orlando,
4-02 - Confirmed Dead,
Daniel,
Daniel *,
Jack,
Miles,
Miles *,
Naomi
Saturday, August 11, 2007
I'm Lost Without...
This past Christmas, I received a shirt that reads "I'M LOST WITHOUT CHARLIE". Turns out it was prophetic, since Charlie's run on the show actually ended with the conclusion of the third season. He's one of my four absolutely favorite characters. Luckily, the other three remain, but meanwhile other folks have been getting whacked left and right. It troubles me. Hence, this little rant...
I'm Lost Without...
I'm lost without Charlie, musician and hero.
I'm lost without Shannon and Boone.
I'm lost without Eko, whose death by Old Smokey
Seemed random and happened too soon.
I'm lost without gun-toting Ana Lucia.
I'm lost without Nikki the ditz.
I'm lost without Paolo, Joanna and Leslie,
Who got himself blown into bits.
I'm lost without Libby, collateral damage
And Hurley's best shot at romance.
I'm lost without dangerous Bonnie and Greta,
Who never had much of a chance.
I'm lost without Ryan, Colleen and Naomi.
I'm lost without Donald and Scott.
I'm lost without Roger and Kelvin, the putzes
Whose passing propelled the whole plot.
I'm lost without Danny, irascible hothead.
I'm lost without friendly foe Tom.
I'm lost without Goodwin, that overgrown boy scout.
I'm lost without vile Ethan Rom.
I'm lost without Edward, the dude with the shrapnel.
I'm lost without Cooper and Klugh.
I'm lost without Pilot-Whose-Name-Wasn't-Mentioned
And maybe without Mikhail too.
O Damon and Carlton, desist with the slaughter!
Have mercy! Consider the cost
Of killing each character I've come to love, lest
At last I am lost without LOST!
I'm Lost Without...
I'm lost without Charlie, musician and hero.
I'm lost without Shannon and Boone.
I'm lost without Eko, whose death by Old Smokey
Seemed random and happened too soon.
I'm lost without gun-toting Ana Lucia.
I'm lost without Nikki the ditz.
I'm lost without Paolo, Joanna and Leslie,
Who got himself blown into bits.
I'm lost without Libby, collateral damage
And Hurley's best shot at romance.
I'm lost without dangerous Bonnie and Greta,
Who never had much of a chance.
I'm lost without Ryan, Colleen and Naomi.
I'm lost without Donald and Scott.
I'm lost without Roger and Kelvin, the putzes
Whose passing propelled the whole plot.
I'm lost without Danny, irascible hothead.
I'm lost without friendly foe Tom.
I'm lost without Goodwin, that overgrown boy scout.
I'm lost without vile Ethan Rom.
I'm lost without Edward, the dude with the shrapnel.
I'm lost without Cooper and Klugh.
I'm lost without Pilot-Whose-Name-Wasn't-Mentioned
And maybe without Mikhail too.
O Damon and Carlton, desist with the slaughter!
Have mercy! Consider the cost
Of killing each character I've come to love, lest
At last I am lost without LOST!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)