Hope (Be Still, Isaac Slade)

Rose: It's a fine line between denial and faith. It's much better on my side.
Charlie: Help me.
Rose: Baby, I'm not the one that can help you...
- Whatever the Case May Be

Once I finally started writing LOST songs again, Dad started sending me song suggestions, and this is one of those.  I was especially touched when I read the story behind this gentle song of encouragement; the songwriter's brother called him in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, and after their conversation, this song came to him organically as a response.

It made me think of Rose's efforts to motivate and comfort Charlie in Whatever the Case May Be, some of my favorite scenes in the series.  While she is there for him, she points him in the direction of a higher help he seems to have given up on...

Hope

I still have hope, and you can, too.

I still have hope Bernard is near.

I still have hope, and you can, too.

Things aren’t that bad, you know.

A monster came upon you.

Though Claire is gone, you’re not to blame.

I still have hope, and you can, too.

Just call upon God’s name.

You almost wish that you were dead.

You’ve never felt this low.

But don’t give in to gloom and dread.

Things aren’t that bad, you know.

This isn’t the finale.

Though the story may get darker still,

The Lord of Light will help you see.

He will, He will, He will.

Reach out for help, and faith will grow.

Before your life began,

The Lord was preparing to guide you.

He always has a plan.

I still have hope, and you can, too.

He always has a plan.

Please Come Home With Me (Feels Like Home, Randy Newman)

Claire: Look at me! This Island's made me crazy, I - I don't want Aaron to see me like this. I don't even know how to be a mother anymore.
Kate: Listen to me, none of us do. Not at first. But you're not alone. Let me help you. Come on, let's go.
- The End

Kate is more sympathetic to Claire than Sawyer is in season six.  Here's Kate in the finale to the tune of Feels Like Home, one of my dad's favorite songs at the moment.

Please Come Home With Me

Someone you despise tried to make you lose yourself,
Tried to make you lose yourself, but he’s gone.
Yes, Claire, you have a choice.  Just forget the past.
You can leave at last and reclaim your life.

I can tell how lonely your life has been.
To feel strong, you cling to that gun,
But it won’t bring what you’ve wanted since he first led you wrong.
I’m here so you can raise your son.

So please come home with me.  Oh, please come home with me.
You feel like you’re much too messed up to be a mom,
But please come home with me.  Oh, please come home with me.
I promised to help you get back where you belong.

We’ve made mistakes.  Hey, you think I'm clean?
But we try, then fail, then do right.
You look a fright; you could use some Maybelline.
Still, I believe you’ve seen through the dark to the light.

Well, do you know how much this moment means to me?
You don’t need that cradle or that hutch.
Though I have been the mother you were meant to be,
Your little boy deserves your love for him so much.

So please come home with me.  Oh, please come home with me.
You feel like you’re much too messed up to be a mom,
But please come home with me.  Oh, please come home with me.
I promised to help you get back where you belong.
I promised to help you get back where you belong.

Claire's Insane (You're So Vain, Carly Simon)

"Sayid's a zombie and Claire's nuts. She gave up her ticket when she tried to kill Kate. And I ain't gonna let that happen again."
- Sawyer, The Last Recruit

The Claire of season six is quite a bit different from the Claire the castaways came to know and love.  Here, Sawyer tries to convince Hurley that she's not worth bringing along in their great escape, to the tune of Carly Simon's You're So Vain.  (The above quote is from a conversation with Jack, but I figure his conversation with Hurley would have been similar...)

Claire’s Insane

She showed up with her rifle
And stitched up Jin in her creepy hut.
But then he flinched as she axed that Other guy. 
She got ‘im right in the gut.
Well, it’s only smart to fear her now
‘Cause she’s a gnarly nut.
Lounged here with Locke for too long, and she lost it.
Clearly, she lost it.

Yeah,
Claire’s insane
And horribly in need of a hairbrush.
She’s insane, (She’s insane),
And bringin’ her along would just scare us,
Scare us, scare us...

Well, we knew her several years ago.
Back then, she was so naive.
Oh, but now we are stuck with a crazy Claire
With homicide up her sleeve.
Now, I know you’re really big on love.
You’re eager to believe
People can change, but I’m not gonna chance it.
Not gonna chance it.

No,
Claire’s insane.
She hangs around with skeletal babies.
She’s insane.  (She’s insane!)
I wonder if that thing gave her rabies,
Rabies, rabies, rabies!

Think she can change?  Well, I’m not gonna chance it.
Not gonna chance it.

No,
Claire’s insane.
Apparently she’s also Jack’s sister.
She’s insane. (She’s insane!)
I guess it’s lucky he never kissed her,
Kissed her, kissed her!

Did you hear she went after Kate with a knife?
Sayid, he didn’t step in.
He could not be bothered with a threatened friend’s life.
I’d say the Dark Side is fixin’ to win.
Well, I know we’re runnin’ out of time,
And Hugo, we don’t need
A chick who’s unhinged or a kid-killin’ zombie,
Kid-killin’ zombie.

No,
Claire’s insane.
Yeah, those two gave their tickets up early.
She’s insane.  (Insane!)
We can’t succeed with someone so squirrelly,
Squirrelly, squirrelly, squirrelly!

Claire’s insane
And horribly in need of a hairbrush.
Claire’s insane
And horribly in need of a hairbrush.
Claire’s insane...

You're So Vain

Temporary (Bonnie Kellswater, Traditional)

"Alright, I'll take it. But it's only temporary, as soon as you get that light back in, I'm pulling you up, and I'm giving it right back to you, deal?"
- Hurley, The End

Here's Hurley reluctantly telling Jack that he will take the job of Island protector, to the tune of the Irish Rovers'Bonnie Kellswater.  (The version I used has a fourth verse, so again, it doesn't quite synch up.)

Temporary

Fine, I’ll help you.  I will drink the spring water,
And I swear that I will safeguard the light.
But I’m only doin’ this till you come back, dude.
Yeah, it’s just temporary, all right?

When I came here, I felt so unlucky.
Thought I never would have peace of mind.
But you gave me a job.  I stopped running.
I thought, Hey, don’t be scared.  Just be kind.

So I tried my best at making people happy
From the minute you stuck me with Claire.
But disasters kept on hitting those around me.
Was I cursed or was life just unfair?

Jacob told me I was blessed, and I believed him,
Though it sure was surprising to me.
But I know that if you hadn’t seen it first, Jack...
Well, I shudder to think where I’d be.

Now, I see that this water is muddy,
While the water that you drank was clear.
It’s a sign that you’re comin’ back, buddy,
‘Cause you always were meant to rule here.

So I’ll help you.  I will drink the spring water,
And I swear that I will safeguard the light.
But I’m only doin’ this till you come back, dude.
Yeah, it’s just temporary, all right?
Yeah, it’s just temporary, all right?

I'll Fly Those Fellas Home (The Boys Come Rollin' Home, Tommy Sands)

"Here we go, Frank.  Come on.  Come on...  Amen."
- Frank, The End

Another Frank song.  I had presumed him dead ever since The Candidate, so I was thrilled to see him turn up alive after all, and then wind up one of the big heroes of the finale.  Here's Frank to the tune of the Irish Rovers' The Boys Come Rollin' Home.

I’ll Fly Those Fellas Home

I always will remember well the strange September day
Norris flew 815 out of Sydney.
I gotta get my rest, but oversleeping doesn‘t pay,
‘Cause poor Seth, he didn’t do so great, now did he?

But I’ll get through this.  I’ll do this.  I braved the salty foam.
With some spunk and with a prayer, I will get ‘er in the air,
And I’ll fly those fellas home.

I made it to the freighter with a madman and his friend.
My chopper didn’t crash in stormy weather.
I got us off the Island and I lost the beard and then
I brought Jack and all his buddies back together.

So I’ll get through this.  I’ll do this.  I braved the salty foam.
With some spunk and with a prayer, I will get ‘er in the air,
And I’ll fly those fellas home.

Now Miles has got his duct tape, and Ricky’s by his side,
And Ben is somewhere with his walkie-talkie.
I see the Island crumblin’, and it‘s lookin’ like we‘re fried,
But it‘s tiger time; I kinda feel like Rocky!

So I’ll get through this.  I’ll do this.  I braved the salty foam.
With some spunk and with a prayer, I will get ‘er in the air,
And I’ll fly those fellas home.

We're goin’ down the runway now, and a few folks showed up late.
I wonder, is it fun to see me stressing?
But in they go, with buckles on, so Sawyer, Claire and Kate
Are part of 316 and share the blessing.

Yeah, I’ll get through this.  I’ll do this.  I braved the salty foam.
With some spunk and with a prayer, I will get ‘er in the air,
And I’ll fly those fellas home.

Yeah, I’ll get through this.  I’ll do this.  I braved the salty foam.
With some spunk and with a prayer, I will get ‘er in the air,
And I’ll fly those fellas home.

Yeah, I’ll fly those fellas home!

The Boys Come Rollin' Home

Hush, Little Aaron (Hush, Little Baby, Traditional)

During the first couple of months of his life, Aaron had all sorts of people around him to try to keep him quiet and happy. Here's a little lullaby about that, to the tune of Anne Murray's version of Hush, Little Baby.

Hush, Little Aaron

Hush, little Aaron, don’t be so blue.
Charlie’s gonna play his guitar for you.
And if his guitar pops a string,
Claire is gonna hold you and softly sing.
And if her singing voice is hoarse,
Hurley’s gonna stand still and use the Force.
And if his Jedi juice is tapped,
Sawyer’s lilting reading will leave you rapt.
And if his reading glasses break,
Jack is gonna check for a stomachache.
And if he learns that you're not sickly,
John is gonna find out if you are tickly.
And if you're scared because he is scarred,
Michael’s gonna draw you a funny card.
And if that doesn’t make you smile,
You’ll still be the sweetest baby on the whole isle.

Any Team Will Do (Any Dream Will Do, Andrew Lloyd Webber / Tim Rice)

As LOST draws to a close, I've been noticing a lot of fans identifying themselves as Team Jacob or Team Smokey, or to a lesser extent simply Team Whatever-Their-Favorite-Character-Is.  Here's a little ditty about that, to the tune of Any Dream Will Do from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.  (For the record, I'm Team Jacob, or if we're talking more generally, Team Hurley.)

Any Team Will Do

Just close your eyes
And pick a winner:
A saint, a sinner,
Someone old or new.
Prepare to say
Who you’re defending
As we near the ending.
Any Team will do.

Will you promote (Will you promote)
The man in black clothes?  (Ah...)
Do you think Jack knows (Ah...)
How to see things through?
Is Sawyer tops (Is Sawyer tops)
Although he’s surly? (Ah...)
Do you honk for Hurley? (Ah...)
Any Team will do.

Well, one side’s dark
And one is light,
And we’ve been dragged
Into the fight.
So demonstrate with shirts and buttons
Whose Team you are on.

Though Jacob’s dead, (Though Jacob’s dead,)
Is he the ruler? (Ah...)
Is Richard cooler (Ah...)
Than the chosen few?
Are you for Ben (Are you for Ben)
Or Aaron’s mother? (Ah...)
Is Des your brother? (Ah...)
Any Team will do.

Any Team, any Team will...
Any Team, any Team will do.
Any Team, any Team will...
Any Team, any Team will do.

Whoever You Are (Wherever You Are, Michael Abbott / Sarah Weeks)

"I'm so glad to know you were lying because...if what you said was the truth, if Kate was raising Aaron...I'd kill her."
- Claire, Lighthouse


Claire has had an incredibly difficult time since her friends left the Island, and the loss of Aaron remains her biggest preoccupation. By the time she meets Jin, Aaron is a boy almost old enough for preschool, and Claire must be painfully aware of the fact that she doesn't know a thing about her own child. Here are some musings from her during Lighthouse, to the tune of Wherever You Are, from Pooh's Grand Adventure.

Whoever You Are

Hear me, son.
Hear me from afar.
Remember me,
Whoever you are.

Since you were snatched away,
I don’t know who you’ve become,
But I love you.
When sleeping or at play,
Hope you recollect your mum,
For I love you.

I need you to know that I love you,
And I mourn for the years that we’ve lost.
I’m singing Catch a Falling Star
And wishing Charlie’s old guitar
Played this lullaby for you,
Whoever you are.

What makes you laugh?
What makes you smile?
What do you do here on this isle?

Or was I fed a lie?
If you left this place with Kate,
I would kill her.
I’d want to find out why.
Once she set the record straight,
I would kill her.

I’d hate her for making you love her
If the story that Jin tells is true.

I’m singing Catch a Falling Star
And wishing Charlie’s old guitar,
Sweetest sound I ever knew
Except the music of your coo,
Accompanied my song for you,
Whoever you are.
Whoever you are.

My Sister (Sister Golden Hair, Gerry Beckley)

I'd like to think that Jack at least struggled a bit before he made the decision to leave Claire behind again in The Last Recruit. This is a sort of counterpoint to My Brother, to the tune of America's Sister Golden Hair.

My Sister

Jack: Well, I want to give protection to my sister, long unknown.
But she’s suffered from infection since she went off on her own.
Dogen warned me of the danger once a person has been claimed,
But I can’t forget it’s me who should be blamed.

Well, I don’t know how to save this sister poisoned by his lies.
It’s been hard for her to brave this. I can see it in her eyes.
She is one unlucky victim with a too, too tortured mind,
And it’s all because I left her far behind.

Though the years have made her brittle,
Can I prove to her I care?
Can I help reform my little
Sister, poor, misguided Claire?
Or is this a fever that there’s no cure for?
Should I just leave her?

Well, I don’t know how to save this sister poisoned by his lies.
It’s been hard for her to brave this. I can see it in her eyes.
She is one unlucky victim with a too, too tortured mind,
And it’s all because I left her far behind.

Though the years have made her brittle,
Can I prove to her I care?
Can I help reform my little
Sister, poor, misguided Claire?
Or is this a fever that there’s no cure for?
Should I just leave her?

Claire: Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me.
Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me.
Jack: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Claire...

Sister Golden Hair

My Brother (Till Tomorrow, Don McLean)

Smokey: You following us, Claire?
Claire: Yeah.
Smokey: Why?
Claire: 'Cause he's my brother.
- The Last Recruit

I've been looking forward to the reunion of Jack and Claire for a long time, and I found their reunion pretty disappointing, especially considering the abandonment that followed. Poor Claire is always getting left behind. Here are some musings from her just after Hurley's arrival in Smokey's camp, to the tune of Don McLean's Till Tomorrow.

My Brother

Who could this be? Is that Hurley?
Did he say there were others?
Will I be seeing my brother?
I’ve been wanting to ask him

Why was I abandoned,
And see what I’ve become?
Will he care, I wonder?
He made me feel like scum

And it was worse once I knew I’m his sister.
Yes, from that moment on,
Bitterness grew like a blister
That’s in danger of bursting.

How can I embrace him?
It’s such a slipp’ry slope.
Still, when I remember Jack,
My wounded heart has hope.

I wonder
Who could this be? Is that Hurley?
Did he say there were others?
Will I be seeing my brother?

Can You Lead Me to the Plane? (Have You Ever Seen the Rain?, John Fogerty)

Eko: Where did you find it?
Charlie: In the jungle. I found it in the jungle.
Eko: Take me there.
- The 23rd Psalm

I've got Creedence Clearwater Revival on the brain at the moment. Here's Eko talking to Charlie in The 23rd Psalm to the tune of Have You Ever Seen the Rain?

Can You Lead Me to the Plane?

Saw your statue in the hut. Are you a religious nut?
Oh, no. It’s a different sort of shrine.
Under Mary’s gentle grin is a stash of heroin.
I know you’re a hopeless hoarder.

I wanna know, can you lead me to the plane?
I wanna know, can you lead me to the plane
Where you found what I broke today?

I was one of many thugs who survived by running drugs.
I know Yemi scorned my life of crime.
Though I was a brutish beast, I became a parish priest.
I owed that much to my brother.

I wanna know, can you lead me to the plane?
I wanna know, can you lead me to the plane
Where you found what I broke today?

Please! I wanna know, can you lead me to the plane?
I wanna know, can you lead me to the plane
Where you found what I broke today?

She Was There (I'll Be There, Berry Gordy / Bob West / Hal Davis / Willie Hutch)

"I'm talking about spectacular, consciousness-altering love. Do you know what that looks like?" - Charlie, Happily Ever After

I've always loved the Jackson 5's I'll Be There; it wasn't until now that I realized just how much stuff was going on in the background vocally. It's a much more involved song than it initially seems. Anyway, I had to turn it into a vehicle for Charlie explaining to Desmond his experience of "what love looks like" in Happily Ever After, with Desmond chiming in now and then, along with visions of Claire and Penny.

She Was There

Charlie: Have you been in love before?
I was standing at death‘s door.
Then in my head, she was there.
(Claire: I was there.)
Charlie: As I slipped into abyss,
She appeared, and all was bliss.
Just for a moment, she was there.
(Claire: I was there.)

Charlie: I tell you,
She was there, and she was real. (Claire: I was there)
Charlie: What a rapturous blonde beauty! (Claire: With)
Charlie: And I swear that she knew me. (Claire: You.)
Charlie: She was there, but to my dismay, (Claire: I was there)
Charlie: I was revived, and she dimmed away. (Claire: With you.)
(Claire: Dimmed away, dimmed away, dimmed away...)
Desmond: That’s not true. That’s not true.

Charlie: Mr. Hume, contain your mocking laughter,
For I have seen such a sweet hereafter.
I’ll make you believe me. She was there.
(Claire: I was there.)
Charlie: She was there to enfold me.
(Claire: Yes, Charlie...)
Charlie: Never knew how that felt. No one told me.
Just for a moment, she was there.
(Claire: I was there.)

Charlie: I tell you,
She was there, and she was real. (Claire: I was there)
Charlie: What a rapturous blonde beauty! (Claire: With)
Charlie: And I swear that she knew me. (Claire: You.)
Charlie: She was there, but to my dismay, (Claire: I was there)
Charlie: I was revived, and she dimmed away. (Claire: With you.)
Desmond: No, that’s not true. That’s not true.
(Claire: Dimmed away, dimmed away, dimmed away...)

Charlie: I’m only mentioning this to you
In hopes your consciousness changes too.
You’ll find a purpose. She’ll be there.
(Penny: I’ll be there.)

Charlie: Then you’ll know what love looks like.
She’ll be there. She’ll be there.
Just for a moment,
(Penny: I’ll be there.)
Charlie: She’ll be there.

Desmond: Well, that’s poetry right there, brother!

Charlie: Yes, she’ll be there. She’ll be there.
I’ll make you believe me.
(Penny: I’ll be there.)
Charlie: She’ll be there.
Then you’ll know what love looks like.
(Penny: Desmond, I’m waiting for you.) Charlie: She’ll be there.
(Penny: Desmond, I’m waiting for you.) Charlie: She’ll be there.
Just for a moment,
(Penny: I’ll be there.)
Charlie: She’ll be there.
Yes, Mr. Hume!
(Penny: Desmond, I’m waiting for you.) Charlie: She’ll be there.
(Penny: Desmond, I’m waiting for you.) Charlie: She’ll be there...

(fadeout)

Who'll Fly the Plane (Who'll Stop the Rain, John Fogerty)

"Even if we could get on that plane, who's gonna fly it?"
- Kate, Recon


Sawyer's been laying low and plotting throughout much of the sixth season. Kate's not so sure she's on board with his plans. Here's an elongated version of her objections to him at the end of Recon, to the tune of Creedence Clearwater Revival's Who'll Stop the Rain.

Who’ll Fly the Plane

Look, I don’t remember just how the plane went down.
Wasn’t still on board when it must’ve hit the ground.
Don’t know what’s become of Frank and Ben and Sun.
So I wonder, still I wonder, who’ll fly the plane.

What did you discover when you went off to explore?
Did you learn what Widmore’s on Hydra Island for?
Your approach seems risky, possibly in vain.
Yes, I wonder, still I wonder, who’ll fly the plane.

Not so hot on stayin’, but when we get there,
How do we win over Jin and crazy Claire?
Where are Jack and Hurley? Will we strand them here?
And I wonder, still I wonder, who’ll fly the plane.

It's Me Callin' (Free Fallin', Tom Petty)

I seem to be a bit hung up on Jack lately. Here's one about his being cutoff from Aaron and Kate circa 2007, to the tune of Tom Petty's Free Fallin'.

It’s Me Callin’

He’s a good boy, loves his orca.
Loves Alice in Wonderland too.
He’s a good boy, looks like his mother
With blond hair and those eyes of blue.

If I’d stayed, I could’ve helped to raise him,
But I strayed and now I’m all alone.
I made a bad move. Kate’ll never forgive me.
Now she hangs up when I’m on the phone

Since it’s me, me callin’,
Since it’s me, me callin’.

Can I blame her? I broke our engagement,
And Aaron, he wonders where I went.
I made a bad move. I know that Kate condemns me,
And I’m sure she’d belittle my lament

Since it’s me, me callin’,
Since it’s me, me callin’.
Me callin’, since it’s me callin’,
Since it’s
Me callin’, since it’s me callin’,
Since...

I wanna fix things. Owe it to Aaron,
And to myself, to Claire and to Kate.
But she will say the Island means nothing.
She’ll ignore the tugging of fate

Since it’s me (me callin’, since it‘s me callin’),
Me callin’ (me callin’ , since it‘s me callin’),
Since it’s me (me callin’, since it‘s me callin’),
Me callin’ (me callin’, since it’s me callin’)...
(fadeout)

Sundown! (Sundown, Gordon Lightfoot)

Last week's Sundown is a definite contender for the most depressing episode of LOST ever. It also shares its title with a smashing song by Gordon Lightfoot, so as soon as I heard what the title would be, I knew I'd have to do something with that song, no matter where the plot went. It went to a dark place indeed. Here's a reflection on the last few minutes of that episode.

Sundown!

Kate: Do I have to stick with Claire? I would say so, yes,
But it looks like we’re caught in a nasty mess.
Smokey: Sundown! It’s time to depart,
And a new reign of terror is about to start.
Sundown! It’s time to depart,
And a new reign of terror is about to start.

Claire: I just hope she’s feeling scared. She abducted Aaron,
And now, I intend to kill Kate, I swear.
Sayid: Sometimes, my conscience objects,
But for Nadia, I would snap a thousand more necks.
Sometimes, my conscience objects,
But for Nadia, I would snap a thousand more necks.

Smokey: I’m not sure I have the measure of Austen yet.
Has she joined as an ally, or is she a threat?
Sundown! It’s time to depart,
And a new reign of terror is about to start.
Sometimes, despite how I’ve planned,
I can’t help fearing Jacob hasn’t shown his whole hand.

Sayid: It’s a thrill to know that Ben is so petrified
And that I could have killed him if I’d only tried.
Sometimes, my conscience objects,
But for Nadia, I would snap a thousand more necks.
Smokey: Sundown! It’s time to depart,
And a new reign of terror is about to start.
Sundown! It’s time to depart,
And a new reign of terror is about to start.
Sometimes, despite how I’ve planned,
I can’t help fearing Jacob hasn’t shown his whole hand.

John Locke (Gaston, Alan Menken / Howard Ashman)

The first LOST filksong I ever wrote involves many of the characters discussing their backstories and Island experiences. The second has John bragging about how great he is. So I thought, for my 100th LOST song, it would be fitting to do a song in which a whole bunch of characters sing about how great John was. About 20 characters (many of them long dead) get in on the action here, to the tune of Alan Menken and Howard Ashman's Gaston, from Beauty and the Beast. Cheers!

John Locke

Ben: How it confused me to see you, John Locke,
Looking so lost and depressed.
Everything was “destiny” to John Locke,
Sure to work out for the best.
I always had failed to unnerve you before;
I now wonder why I would try.
Oddly, I long to preserve you now, for
To impress me, John, you had to die.

Smokey: No one’s been, like John Locke,
Made a twin like John Locke.
Kate: No one’s pulled off an orange-peel grin like John Locke.
Desmond: Oh, his skills with a blade were just scary.
Hurley: Dude, he undid my canteen!
Sun: Though I know his head wasn’t too hairy,
‘Twas the shiniest specimen I’ve ever seen.

Smokey: No one’s used like John Locke
And abused like John Locke.
Jack: No one “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”s like John Locke.
Smokey: No one else is as primed for manipulation.
I miss that guy, that John Locke.

Ben: A man of faith,
Of firm belief.
Richard: John Locke truly sought,
And I thought he’d be a chief.

Boone: No one’s charred as John Locke,
Had it hard as John Locke.
Shannon: No one’s face is as eerily scarred as John Locke.
Sayid: Yes, he went through a number of tussles.
Christian: He got shot and he shattered his leg.
Rose: But he had such miraculous muscles.
Sawyer: Darn right!
If brawn were a brew, then he drank a whole keg.

Jin: No one knots like John Locke,
Claire: Swaddles cloths like John Locke.
Charlie: No one makes metaphors about moths like John Locke.
Claire: No one else is as crafty at crib creation.
I owe a lot to John Locke.

Eko: No other man could have seemed quite so sincere
When he quietly said, “I was wrong.”
Walt: He always respected me when I was here.
All: Oh, it’s clear he’s earned this little song.

Jacob: I attest that John Locke
Was my guest, and John Locke
Never needed to doubt he was blessed as John Locke.
I agree his life merits a celebration.

All: I miss that guy, John Locke!

Please Kill the Girl (We Kill the World, Frank Farian / Giorgio & Giusela Sgarbi)

One of my favorite songs growing up was Boney M.'s We Kill the World (Don't Kill the World), an epic Save the Earth song that is both ominous and inspiring. I've been rewatching the early episodes of LOST's fourth season, and when I revisited this song tonight, I thought it might make a good vehicle for Charlotte's ordeal in Confirmed Dead and The Economist.

Mostly, I stick pretty close to the script, I think; the main change is that I imagine Daniel, who I've always thought of as a Man of Faith as well as a Man of Science, praying for her safety from a distance, and I imagine Jacob watching over Daniel and wanting to offer him some reassurance.

Please Kill the Girl (Don’t Kill the Girl)

Ben: (spoken) I see chaos, despair and chaos.
I see mercenaries on the rise.
This girl, this girl…

Coming to destroy.
She may be acting coy,
But she is in the know.
Many years ago,
I kicked her leader out
And now it’s turnabout.

John: We’ll take her hostage
And we’ll get some answers.
This girl, this girl.

Charlotte: What is wrong with you?
What did I ever do
To make you all so mean?
If I hadn’t seen
This with my own two eyes,
I’d not believe it, guys.

John: We’ll take her hostage.
We’ll get some answers.

Ben: If you don’t watch your back,
This girl’s team will attack.

Please kill the girl
(Daniel: Not her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: Not her!)
Ben: She’s one of them, we ought to condemn her.
Please
(Daniel: Protect her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I love her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I need her!)
Ben: She’s one of them, we should condemn her.

Sawyer: If this is the fault
Of taller ghostly Walt,
I wonder if we are
Traveling so far
And cooking up a scheme
Because of Baldie's dream.

John: We’ll take her hostage
And we’ll get some answers.

Ben: If you don’t watch your back,
This girl’s team will attack.

Please kill the girl
(Daniel: Not her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: Not her!)
Ben: She’s one of them, we ought to condemn her.
Please
(Daniel: Protect her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I love her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I need her!)
Ben: She’s one of them, we should condemn her.

Ben: Please
(Daniel: Protect her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I love her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I need her!)
Ben: She’s one of them, we ought to condemn her.
Please kill the girl!

Hurley: Don’t kill the girl.
Do her no harm.
Though we have cause for alarm,
Don’t kill the girl.
Let her take flight.
Hey, we’re the good guys, right?

Claire: Don’t kill the girl.
Though Charlie died
To warn us who was inside
That boat out there,
He’d shake his head
And say to spare her instead.

Daniel: Don’t kill the girl.
I love her so,
Though I’ve not yet let her know.
I’d trade my life
To keep her whole.
I’d trade my very soul.

Sayid: I’ll save the girl.
Miles, please come with me.
Frank: There’s a chopper spot for you if
You set her free.
Jack: Help save the girl,
‘Cause I don’t trust John.
Remember, Kate, whose team you’re on.

Jacob: Daniel, I know that this is hard.
But keep the faith and be brave.
When she returns, you’ll be her guard.
Her life is yours to save.

Hurley: Don’t kill the girl.
Do her no harm.
Though we have cause for alarm,
Don’t kill the girl.
Let her take flight.
Don’t kill the girl,
This girl.

Langdon Street (Bleecker Street, Paul Simon)

Season six of LOST has already given us a lot to chew on. Here's my first season six parody, and the first to deal with the sideways storyline. This one's from the perspective of Claire, to the tune of Simon and Garfunkel's Bleecker Street.

Langdon Street

Hopped in a cab when I left LAX,
And I said, “Take me to Langdon Street.”
Then this lady packin’ heat
Plopped herself down in my seat.

First she hollered and then she shoved,
And I tumbled, shrieking, from the car.
She took my bag and left me stranded far
From Langdon Street.

She went to lead her life of crime.
Never, never thought we’d meet again.
But she tracked me down and then
Found Langdon Street.

I guess she felt a bit ashamed.
I could tell I had her pity.
I’m so glad she was with me
On Langdon Street.

Langdon Street.

We Are Home (Take Me Home, Phil Coulter)

Listening to Celtic Thunder's new album, Take Me Home, gave me all sorts of fodder for filking. Here's a reflection by the speaking members of the Oceanic Six as they return to civilization, to the tune of the title track.

We Are Home

Jack: At my dad's urgin',
I became a surgeon.
Now I can focus on perfecting my skill.

Kate: I should find a lawyer,
And thanks to Sawyer,
I have a request to fulfill.

Hurley: My mom is waiting,
And I've been debating.
I might be ready to let Dad try again.

Sun: I'll have this baby,
Then I think that maybe
I'll go and track down Ben.

All: Home.
Yes, we are home,
The place we never thought we would see.
Sun: I wish that Jin was here with me.
All: But we are home!

Sayid: Nadia, where are you?
I've come too far to
Disregard the romance that I have dreamed of for years.

All: Faced with this ending,
No use pretending
Our eyes have been free of tears.

All: Home.
Yes, we are home,
The place we never thought we would see.
Kate: I wish that Sawyer was with me.
All: But we are home!

Jack: We are home after months away.
Hurley: Now I wonder if we'll stay.

Jack: Home.
(Sun and Kate: Jin and Sawyer.)
Sayid: Yes, we are home.
(Jack and Hurley: Claire and Charlie.)
Kate: The press is making a mighty fuss
(Sayid: Who knew that only six of us would return?)
Hurley: We wish our friends
(Sun: I'm so lonely)
Hurley: Were here with us.
(Sun: And I'm yearning to be with him again.)
Jack: But we are home!

Jack: Home.
(Sun and Kate: Jin and Sawyer.)
Sayid: Yes, we are home.
(Jack and Hurley: Claire and Charlie.)
Kate: The press is making a mighty fuss
(Sayid: Who knew that only six of us would return?)
Hurley: We wish our friends
(Sun: I'm so lonely)
Hurley: Were here with us.
(Sun: And I'm yearning...)
Jack: But we are home!
All: We are home!

I'm His Mother (Flowers Never Bend With the Rainfall, Paul Simon)

Time for a little LOST again! Here's an Oceanic Six-era reflection by Kate to the tune of Simon and Garfunkel's Flowers Never Bend With the Rainfall.

I'm His Mother

There's a secret that I keep
That's robbed me of my sleep
Since James kissed me and leaped from the chopper.
I won't need an appeal,
But I can't help but feel
I've been sentenced to conceal this mighty whopper.

So, I'll continue to continue to declare
We left nobody there
And Aaron isn't Claire's.
I'm his mother.

He seems so still and small,
Like a perfect china doll,
But soon he'll start to scrawl his name on paper.
As he learns to read and write,
Will questions come to light?
I may find myself contrite about my caper.

Still, I'll continue to continue to declare
We left nobody there
And Aaron isn't Claire's.
I'm his mother.

I don't deserve Jack's scorn.
We thought that Claire was gone.
I was there when he was born and must protect him.
I can guarantee
That it would shatter me
Should someone crack the mystery and come collect him!

So, I'll continue to continue to declare
We left nobody there
And Aaron isn't Claire's.
I'm his mother.