What Will You Tell Her? (This Night, Billy Joel / Ludwig Van Beethoven)

"This woman - when she asks you what you did to be with her again... what will you tell her?" - Desmond, The Last Recruit

Probably my favorite single scene in The Last Recruit is the encounter between Sayid and Desmond at the well. Like everyone else I've consulted, I'm convinced that Sayid let Desmond live. They were friends, after all, and Desmond can be pretty persuasive... Here's Desmond in that scene to the tune of Billy Joel's This Night.

What Will You Tell Her?

Brother, I think
You ought to give me a reason
If you intend on
Shooting me in cold blood.
I was your friend,
And so this murder is treason.
Will you stand by as I die
Like a dog in the mud?

Brother, if love
Is your professed motivation,
If you believe
He can restore the one you lost,
You’re a naive
Victim of manipulation.
Will you obey? First I pray
You’ll consider the cost.

Should she return,
And should she want to learn
What you did to be with her again,
Sayid, what will you tell her?

Under your gaze,
Penny and I reunited.
You saved my mind;
Now let me help preserve your soul.
Brother, you’re blind -
Or you are sadly short-sighted.
Where will you run after gunning me
Down in this hole?

What will you say
To get relief from your conscience?
Will you confess,
Hoping that she will understand?
Will you address
This risen woman with nonsense,
Knowing you’d chill her by killing
An innocent man?

Should she return,
And should she want to learn
What you did to be with her again,
Sayid, what will you tell her?

Should she return,
And should she want to learn
What you did just to be with her again,
Sayid, what will you tell her?

Sayid... Oh...
If you do this to be with her again,
Sayid, what will you tell her?

This Night

Sayid's Message, (Bad Moon Rising, John Fogerty)

"The man that I met is leaving the Island forever. And those of you who want to go with him should leave the temple and join him. You have until sundown to decide."
 - Sayid, Sundown

Sayid is given an ominous message to deliver in Sundown. Here he speaks his piece to the tune of Creedence Clearwater Revival's Bad Moon Rising.

Sayid’s Message

I tried to murder that being.
I tried stabbing him to death.
I tried; it’s time for fleeing.
I tried; he still draws breath.

Don’t stick around tonight.
You’ve been ordered to take flight.
You’ll be murdered otherwise.

I hear sunset ticking nearer.
I know that switching sides will pay.
I saw visions in a mirror.
I saw who Jacob took away.

Don’t stick around tonight.
You’ve been ordered to take flight.
You’ll be murdered otherwise.

Hope you understand this warning.
Hope you accept the new regime.
Join us, and by tomorrow morning,
Terror will seem a distant dream.

Oh, don’t stick around tonight.
You’ve been ordered to take flight.
You’ll be murdered otherwise.

Don’t stick around tonight.
You’ve been ordered to take flight.
You’ll be murdered otherwise.

Sundown! (Sundown, Gordon Lightfoot)

Last week's Sundown is a definite contender for the most depressing episode of LOST ever. It also shares its title with a smashing song by Gordon Lightfoot, so as soon as I heard what the title would be, I knew I'd have to do something with that song, no matter where the plot went. It went to a dark place indeed. Here's a reflection on the last few minutes of that episode.

Sundown!

Kate: Do I have to stick with Claire? I would say so, yes,
But it looks like we’re caught in a nasty mess.
Smokey: Sundown! It’s time to depart,
And a new reign of terror is about to start.
Sundown! It’s time to depart,
And a new reign of terror is about to start.

Claire: I just hope she’s feeling scared. She abducted Aaron,
And now, I intend to kill Kate, I swear.
Sayid: Sometimes, my conscience objects,
But for Nadia, I would snap a thousand more necks.
Sometimes, my conscience objects,
But for Nadia, I would snap a thousand more necks.

Smokey: I’m not sure I have the measure of Austen yet.
Has she joined as an ally, or is she a threat?
Sundown! It’s time to depart,
And a new reign of terror is about to start.
Sometimes, despite how I’ve planned,
I can’t help fearing Jacob hasn’t shown his whole hand.

Sayid: It’s a thrill to know that Ben is so petrified
And that I could have killed him if I’d only tried.
Sometimes, my conscience objects,
But for Nadia, I would snap a thousand more necks.
Smokey: Sundown! It’s time to depart,
And a new reign of terror is about to start.
Sundown! It’s time to depart,
And a new reign of terror is about to start.
Sometimes, despite how I’ve planned,
I can’t help fearing Jacob hasn’t shown his whole hand.

Bye, Australia! (Sing Australia, John Denver)

My very first LOST parody was a group song, but I've only had a few let's-get-as-many-characters-involved-as-we-can-style parodies. I figured it was time for another one. Here's one that crams in 30 815 passengers, I think; most have a line, some are mentioned by others. To the tune of John Denver's Sing Australia, this imagines their thoughts en route to L. A. (in the original timeline).

Bye, Australia!

Hurley: I came to Australia to break the Numbers curse.
Jack: I came to find my father; didn’t think I would need a hearse.
Boone: Came to help my step-sister.
Arzt: Came here for a date.
John: I came for a walkabout; I was four years too late.

Rose: We were here on our honeymoon.
Bernard: I came to help her heal.
Nikki: I arrived as an actress but I found some gems to steal.
Charlie: Liam is on my black list since he won’t revive the band.
Kate: Maybe I’ll find some way to lose the Marshal when we land.

Hurley: I’m unlucky.
Kate: I am plucky.
Jack: I’m a surgeon of great renown.
Charlie: I’m a druggie.
John: I had a purpose, but Australia let me down.

Michael: Walt is my son, but I bet I’m a lousy dad.
Sawyer: Killed a guy I didn’t know; now I’m feelin’ bad.
Sun: Do I still love my husband?
Jin: Could Sun still be in love with me?
Neil: Excuse me while I dream of a frogurt factory.

Sayid: Will Nadia embrace me when we meet again at last?
Shannon: I made my brother chase me.
Eko: I have a sordid past.
Gary: I hope Bad Twin’s a winner.
Steve: I’ll go by Scott someday.
Claire: I’m scared to see this couple waiting in L. A.

Sawyer: I’m a killer.
Gary: Wrote a thriller.
Sayid: I am headed for my true love.
Claire: Funny how it all seems so tiny when we’re watching from above.

Cindy: Bye, Australia!
Paolo: Bye, Australia!
Ana Lucia: Bye, Australia!
Libby: Bye, Australia!

Seth: Folks, I hope your belts are buckled,
‘Cause this plane is goin’ down!

Sing Australia

We Are Home (Take Me Home, Phil Coulter)

Listening to Celtic Thunder's new album, Take Me Home, gave me all sorts of fodder for filking. Here's a reflection by the speaking members of the Oceanic Six as they return to civilization, to the tune of the title track.

We Are Home

Jack: At my dad's urgin',
I became a surgeon.
Now I can focus on perfecting my skill.

Kate: I should find a lawyer,
And thanks to Sawyer,
I have a request to fulfill.

Hurley: My mom is waiting,
And I've been debating.
I might be ready to let Dad try again.

Sun: I'll have this baby,
Then I think that maybe
I'll go and track down Ben.

All: Home.
Yes, we are home,
The place we never thought we would see.
Sun: I wish that Jin was here with me.
All: But we are home!

Sayid: Nadia, where are you?
I've come too far to
Disregard the romance that I have dreamed of for years.

All: Faced with this ending,
No use pretending
Our eyes have been free of tears.

All: Home.
Yes, we are home,
The place we never thought we would see.
Kate: I wish that Sawyer was with me.
All: But we are home!

Jack: We are home after months away.
Hurley: Now I wonder if we'll stay.

Jack: Home.
(Sun and Kate: Jin and Sawyer.)
Sayid: Yes, we are home.
(Jack and Hurley: Claire and Charlie.)
Kate: The press is making a mighty fuss
(Sayid: Who knew that only six of us would return?)
Hurley: We wish our friends
(Sun: I'm so lonely)
Hurley: Were here with us.
(Sun: And I'm yearning to be with him again.)
Jack: But we are home!

Jack: Home.
(Sun and Kate: Jin and Sawyer.)
Sayid: Yes, we are home.
(Jack and Hurley: Claire and Charlie.)
Kate: The press is making a mighty fuss
(Sayid: Who knew that only six of us would return?)
Hurley: We wish our friends
(Sun: I'm so lonely)
Hurley: Were here with us.
(Sun: And I'm yearning...)
Jack: But we are home!
All: We are home!