Here's another ditty inspired by the Anne Murray album There's a Hippo in My Tub, a wonderful collection of lullabies. This is a not-so-soothing rundown of some of the strange creatures on the Island, to the tune of Hey Daddy.
A Monster By the Cockpit
Hey, Sawyer, there’s a bear out in the jungle.
Good thing you’re a trigger-happy man.
Hey, Charlie, run quick, ‘cause there’s a monster by the cockpit,
And it seems to me he’s not a Drive Shaft fan.
It’s a scary sort of Island
With a roving DHARMA shark.
Sometimes you suspect that
You’d prefer Jurassic Park.
I tell ya,
Hey, Sawyer, there’s a bear out in the jungle.
Good thing you’re a trigger-happy man.
Hey, Charlie, run quick, ‘cause there’s a monster by the cockpit,
And it seems to me he’s not a Drive Shaft fan.
Well, the bandit boars are a menace here,
And the Hurley bird is bizarre,
But if velociraptors trash the camp,
That’s going too far.
Meanwhile,
Hey, Sawyer, there’s a bear out in the jungle.
Good thing you’re a trigger-happy man.
Hey, Charlie, run quick, ‘cause there’s a monster by the cockpit,
And it seems to me he’s not a Drive Shaft fan.
And it seems to me he’s not a Drive Shaft fan.
Yeah, it seems to me he’s not a Drive Shaft fan.
Showing posts with label 1-04 - Walkabout. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 1-04 - Walkabout. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
The Island and Me (Alaska and Me, John Denver)
The last couple of seasons of LOST have not been so kind to John Locke. Nonetheless, his troubles as a result of the Island have not diminished my exultation in his joy upon finding the Island in the first place. Here's a reflection by him to the tune of John Denver's Alaska and Me.
The Island and Me
When I was a child, a strange man came to see me.
He spoke of a school where special kids stay.
And he gave me a test, but when he found me a failure,
He packed his bag and strode swiftly away.
Well, the next few years burdened me with boatloads of bullies
Who stuffed me into lockers and shoved me aside.
But when I heard a science camp awaited in Portland,
I derided the summons to salvage my pride.
Here's to the Island. Here’s to amazement.
Here’s to enjoying just jubilee.
Here's to embracing deferred destiny.
Here's to the Island and me.
I was born to a teen in the city of Tustin,
Raised as an orphan, so unmoored and alone
And aware of the void that was left by my father.
I swore that I’d find him one day when I’d grown.
But he couldn’t give me the purpose I longed for.
He tricked me and crushed me, and he splintered my spine,
And I wound up a chump getting chewed out by Randy.
How could I know glory soon would be mine?
Here's to the Island. Here’s to amazement.
Here’s to enjoying just jubilee.
Here's to embracing deferred destiny.
Here's to the Island and me.
Now, as I stand with my face to the rain,
I see my life led me straight to that plane.
Oh, I was in bondage, but now I am free.
Here’s to the Island and me.
Here's to the Island. Here’s to amazement.
Here’s to enjoying just jubilee.
Here's to embracing deferred destiny.
Here's to the Island and me.
Oh, here’s to the Island and me.
The Island and Me
When I was a child, a strange man came to see me.
He spoke of a school where special kids stay.
And he gave me a test, but when he found me a failure,
He packed his bag and strode swiftly away.
Well, the next few years burdened me with boatloads of bullies
Who stuffed me into lockers and shoved me aside.
But when I heard a science camp awaited in Portland,
I derided the summons to salvage my pride.
Here's to the Island. Here’s to amazement.
Here’s to enjoying just jubilee.
Here's to embracing deferred destiny.
Here's to the Island and me.
I was born to a teen in the city of Tustin,
Raised as an orphan, so unmoored and alone
And aware of the void that was left by my father.
I swore that I’d find him one day when I’d grown.
But he couldn’t give me the purpose I longed for.
He tricked me and crushed me, and he splintered my spine,
And I wound up a chump getting chewed out by Randy.
How could I know glory soon would be mine?
Here's to the Island. Here’s to amazement.
Here’s to enjoying just jubilee.
Here's to embracing deferred destiny.
Here's to the Island and me.
Now, as I stand with my face to the rain,
I see my life led me straight to that plane.
Oh, I was in bondage, but now I am free.
Here’s to the Island and me.
Here's to the Island. Here’s to amazement.
Here’s to enjoying just jubilee.
Here's to embracing deferred destiny.
Here's to the Island and me.
Oh, here’s to the Island and me.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Don't Tell Me What I Can't Do! (I Don't Mind If I Do, Traditional)
"Don't tell me what I can't do!"
- John, Walkabout
If there's one word I associate with LOST's John Locke, it's "destiny," but if there's one phrase, it's "Don't tell me what I can't do!" Here's a song reflecting that, to the tune of the Irish Rovers' I Don't Mind If I Do.
Don’t Tell Me What I Can’t Do!
You asked me to tell you my favorite phrase,
The one I’ll repeat to the end of my days,
The one that’s stuck with me like paper to glue.
It’s the seven words “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
My name is John Locke, and a hunter am I.
Some say I’m a farmer, but that is a lie.
When someone suggests it, I give him a clue
When I counter with, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
When I was a scrawny teen struggling through school,
My professor said, “Listen, John. Don’t be a fool.
You’re meant for this science camp. Sports aren’t for you.”
But I yelled at him, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
I wanted to discover who my long-lost dad was.
They found him but said to me, “Don’t think because
You share the same blood that he’ll care about you.”
But I shouted back, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
Well, I met with a woman who thought I was grand,
And I was about to ask her for her hand.
She said, “Drop your dad; he’ll just hurt you anew.”
So I had to cry, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
In need of renewal and fully prepared,
I set off for a walkabout, but one of them dared
To say that my wheels were a problem. On cue,
I lashed out with, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
Now I’m on the Island and I’ve been reborn.
I'm no longer a loser, no longer forlorn.
If you think of crossing me, let me review:
I will always say, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man!
- John, Walkabout
If there's one word I associate with LOST's John Locke, it's "destiny," but if there's one phrase, it's "Don't tell me what I can't do!" Here's a song reflecting that, to the tune of the Irish Rovers' I Don't Mind If I Do.
Don’t Tell Me What I Can’t Do!
You asked me to tell you my favorite phrase,
The one I’ll repeat to the end of my days,
The one that’s stuck with me like paper to glue.
It’s the seven words “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
My name is John Locke, and a hunter am I.
Some say I’m a farmer, but that is a lie.
When someone suggests it, I give him a clue
When I counter with, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
When I was a scrawny teen struggling through school,
My professor said, “Listen, John. Don’t be a fool.
You’re meant for this science camp. Sports aren’t for you.”
But I yelled at him, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
I wanted to discover who my long-lost dad was.
They found him but said to me, “Don’t think because
You share the same blood that he’ll care about you.”
But I shouted back, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
Well, I met with a woman who thought I was grand,
And I was about to ask her for her hand.
She said, “Drop your dad; he’ll just hurt you anew.”
So I had to cry, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
In need of renewal and fully prepared,
I set off for a walkabout, but one of them dared
To say that my wheels were a problem. On cue,
I lashed out with, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
Now I’m on the Island and I’ve been reborn.
I'm no longer a loser, no longer forlorn.
If you think of crossing me, let me review:
I will always say, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man!
Monday, June 8, 2009
"Don't Ever Tell Me What I Can't Do! Ever!"
From the beginning, John Locke has been one of the most intriguing characters on LOST, particularly since Walkabout. This single episode establishes so much essential information about the Island's Man of (apparently Misplaced) Faith: he knows his way around the jungle, he's handy with a knife, he and the Island have some sort of understanding, he used to be a belittled cubicle dweller, he was paralyzed when he boarded Flight 815. This last is, of course, the most tantalizing bit of all; for three seasons LOST kept us wondering exactly how he got into the wheelchair, and it's still something of a mystery how he got out of it. The Incident suggests Jacob, but given that Esau has been indirectly manipulating him since he was a baby, I wonder exactly at what point he started to get to John on the Island. Whatever the explanation for his returned mobility, in a show full of massive twists and turns, few moments can beat the wow factor of seeing John Locke wheeling through that office, yammering about "destiny" and bellowing, "Don't tell me what I can't do!"
There are hints, now that I watch it knowing what's to come. There's his "secret" admission to Walt that a miracle happened to him. There's the shot of him gazing incredulously at his wriggling toes, which is repeated twice in this episode, but then I just figured he was glad to be alive. Like Michael said, that anyone survived was a miracle. There's the fact that we never see him standing in his flashbacks, but then there was no reason for him to stand in those situations. Randy's obnoxious comments are more fitting now - and more insensitive. When John was flat on his back after the boar charged, it's now apparent that he was afraid the paralysis had returned, was afraid even to test and see whether that was the case. And of course, there was the wheelchair on the beach, the one John stares at as the episode concludes, willing it to burst into flames like the fuselage in front of which it sits. But John, sadly, is not done with wheelchairs yet...
John with a knife in hand is a formidable thing. A canteen was the only thing standing between a fatal blade and Hurley back in season three. Later that season, he knifed Naomi, and he came charging in again in season five to rescue Sawyer and Juliet from the '50s-era Others. In this episode, Sawyer is the one in uncomfortable proximity as the knife plunges into the other side of the two-person seat in which he's sitting; Jack's wry comment about John's aim - either really good or really bad - cracks me up. No wonder Sawyer doesn't think much of John's plan! Interesting, though, that Michael joins in, perhaps to atone for his surliness with John earlier. This allows Sun to be drawn more into the family's confidences as she agrees to babysit Walt, and her asthma remedy and decision to plant a garden are foreshadowed by her invention of toothpaste.
It's a shame that the warm glow of finding Vincent doesn't last very long. The episode basically begins with him barking his head off and annoying everyone - though it turns out he's just being a good guard dog, and all his racket alerts the castaways to two important pieces of information. There are boars on the island (which is blatantly Lord of the Flies), and they could be a source of food. And the rotting bodies in the fuselage are attracting dangerous animals, so it's time to do something about that. I find it interesting that throughout the series, Sayid is extremely concerned with the proper treatment of dead bodies. He objects heartily to the burning of the fuselage, with no regard for the religious beliefs of the victims; Jack, in exasperation, says, "We don't have time to sort out everybody's god," while Charlie quips, "Really? Because the last time I heard we were positively made of time." I think I have to side with Jack on this one, but it seems to reveal a certain lack of regard for religion in general, while Charlie's response, while flippant, may hint that he's more in line with Sayid, who later insists on bringing Naomi's body back to the freighter, who is on the Island in the first place because he needed to ensure that his friend received a proper burial, and who is seen praying on more than one occasion.
Jack also says, "Any bodies we bury are not gonna stay buried long." Oh, how true that seems to be! And it's not long after this that he starts seeing his father... That is, after his nearly episode-long conversation, or lack thereof, with Rose. They mostly just sit there together, quietly gazing out at the ocean, and though Boone sent Jack there to help Rose, I think it's Jack who actually gets the most out of the encounter. He really needs this opportunity for healing after his chaotic few days, really needs to spend some quiet time with someone who isn't looking to him to solve all her problems. I love her wryly letting Jack off the hook, telling him he doesn't have to keep his promise and stay with her until Bernard comes back from the bathroom! Her comment about Bernard's fingers swelling and her "always" wearing his wedding ring around her neck seems to suggest a slight inconsistency with S. O. S., which reveals that they're on their honeymoon; wouldn't this be the first time they've flown together, at least with a wedding ring? But I'd much rather have a minor inconsistency than no Rose and Bernard flashback.
Though in the beginning of season two, Hurley will tell Jack he has a crummy bedside manner, Rose compliments him now, but their reverie ends, once again, with Jack asserting his stubborn unwillingness to believe that anything unlikely could possibly be true. Rose is convinced that her husband is still alive; Jack says it's impossible. "They're probably thinking the same thing about us," is Rose's serene response, and that's our first strong hint that there may be other survivors we haven't encountered yet. Though Jack's take was more practical, I was inclined to believe Rose. Besides, this is immediately followed by Christian turning up in the jungle. Is Jack just cracking up? I'd say not, given that his appearance heralds John's arrival. But is it really Christian? Well, that's a very different matter...
Hurley plowing into Sawyer in Dave seemed so out of character that I completely forgot he and Sawyer had scuffled before, this time over the latter hoarding airplane peanuts. Hurley objects to Sawyer's selfishness, especially now that it's the last of the food. His annoyance with Sawyer continues, as he confides to Charlie on their fishing expedition that he's just glad to get away from that redneck. Oh, yeah, and the fuselage full of bodies. I love this scene because it allows Hurley and Charlie a chance to have a great time together as well as brush up on their survival skills. Their friendship is beginning to blossom. Meanwhile, there's just enough ill will between Hurley and Sawyer now to make the depth of their later friendship all the more powerful.
Shannon is pretty irritating in this episode once again, and I can't blame Boone for being frustrated with her. She sweet-talks Charlie into catching a fish for her, and he in turn gets Hurley to help, because he really doesn't know what he's doing. He devotes his day to catching that fish, and then once he presents it to her he comes to the realization that he has been used. I think this is the point at which he starts to lose romantic interest in Shannon - who showed no more interest in DriveShaft than anybody else has. It's a little pathetic the way he keeps bringing it up, but since that's the one thing in life he feels like he can be proud of, I guess it's pretty understandable. I do like the fact that he mentioned his grandfather to Shannon, and that he said, "God rest his soul," another indication of Charlie's Catholicism.
Although we don't see Claire for that much of the episode, in terms of defining her character, it's one of my favorites. She's the one who heads up the effort to glean as much information as possible about the deceased so she can give them a proper send-off; Jack doesn't want anything to do with it. As he will later state, he hates funerals. Claire is especially taken with Steve and Kristen, the couple who were planning their wedding. This convergence of a wedding and a funeral is significant for a show whose main musical theme is Life and Death, a show where bliss and tragedy always seem to accompany each other. In the midst of her recovery efforts, she finds Sayid's photos of Nadia and gives them to him, setting us up for his grand, tragic love story, and more immediately for Solitary.
While we don't see Hurley saying anything at the memorial service, my guess is that he does; I love that he is standing up there with her, apparently having planned the ceremony right alongside her, which makes perfect sense since he speaks at almost every funeral among the castaways that follows. Claire and Hurley have such a nice rapport, especially in these early episodes; I could almost see them getting together in the final season (assuming Charlie isn't zapped back into existence). I also love Sawyer showing his softer side by very awkwardly giving Claire some wallets he found while raiding the fuselage, much like he will later, on the advice of Hurley, give her a blanket, even more awkwardly.
Walkabout is one of the most significant episodes in all of LOST, mostly because of what it tells us about John, and in turn, the Island. And as much as I was disappointed to learn that John has been manipulated into thinking he is special for most of his life, the fact remains that when he landed on the Island, he could walk again. That's pretty special. How did it happen? Is Jacob responsible, or is it his nemesis? And do we really have to go through the last season without John Locke (and Terry O'Quinn as pseudo-Locke doesn't quite count) or is there any chance of seeing this incredibly intriguing character again?
There are hints, now that I watch it knowing what's to come. There's his "secret" admission to Walt that a miracle happened to him. There's the shot of him gazing incredulously at his wriggling toes, which is repeated twice in this episode, but then I just figured he was glad to be alive. Like Michael said, that anyone survived was a miracle. There's the fact that we never see him standing in his flashbacks, but then there was no reason for him to stand in those situations. Randy's obnoxious comments are more fitting now - and more insensitive. When John was flat on his back after the boar charged, it's now apparent that he was afraid the paralysis had returned, was afraid even to test and see whether that was the case. And of course, there was the wheelchair on the beach, the one John stares at as the episode concludes, willing it to burst into flames like the fuselage in front of which it sits. But John, sadly, is not done with wheelchairs yet...
John with a knife in hand is a formidable thing. A canteen was the only thing standing between a fatal blade and Hurley back in season three. Later that season, he knifed Naomi, and he came charging in again in season five to rescue Sawyer and Juliet from the '50s-era Others. In this episode, Sawyer is the one in uncomfortable proximity as the knife plunges into the other side of the two-person seat in which he's sitting; Jack's wry comment about John's aim - either really good or really bad - cracks me up. No wonder Sawyer doesn't think much of John's plan! Interesting, though, that Michael joins in, perhaps to atone for his surliness with John earlier. This allows Sun to be drawn more into the family's confidences as she agrees to babysit Walt, and her asthma remedy and decision to plant a garden are foreshadowed by her invention of toothpaste.
It's a shame that the warm glow of finding Vincent doesn't last very long. The episode basically begins with him barking his head off and annoying everyone - though it turns out he's just being a good guard dog, and all his racket alerts the castaways to two important pieces of information. There are boars on the island (which is blatantly Lord of the Flies), and they could be a source of food. And the rotting bodies in the fuselage are attracting dangerous animals, so it's time to do something about that. I find it interesting that throughout the series, Sayid is extremely concerned with the proper treatment of dead bodies. He objects heartily to the burning of the fuselage, with no regard for the religious beliefs of the victims; Jack, in exasperation, says, "We don't have time to sort out everybody's god," while Charlie quips, "Really? Because the last time I heard we were positively made of time." I think I have to side with Jack on this one, but it seems to reveal a certain lack of regard for religion in general, while Charlie's response, while flippant, may hint that he's more in line with Sayid, who later insists on bringing Naomi's body back to the freighter, who is on the Island in the first place because he needed to ensure that his friend received a proper burial, and who is seen praying on more than one occasion.
Jack also says, "Any bodies we bury are not gonna stay buried long." Oh, how true that seems to be! And it's not long after this that he starts seeing his father... That is, after his nearly episode-long conversation, or lack thereof, with Rose. They mostly just sit there together, quietly gazing out at the ocean, and though Boone sent Jack there to help Rose, I think it's Jack who actually gets the most out of the encounter. He really needs this opportunity for healing after his chaotic few days, really needs to spend some quiet time with someone who isn't looking to him to solve all her problems. I love her wryly letting Jack off the hook, telling him he doesn't have to keep his promise and stay with her until Bernard comes back from the bathroom! Her comment about Bernard's fingers swelling and her "always" wearing his wedding ring around her neck seems to suggest a slight inconsistency with S. O. S., which reveals that they're on their honeymoon; wouldn't this be the first time they've flown together, at least with a wedding ring? But I'd much rather have a minor inconsistency than no Rose and Bernard flashback.
Though in the beginning of season two, Hurley will tell Jack he has a crummy bedside manner, Rose compliments him now, but their reverie ends, once again, with Jack asserting his stubborn unwillingness to believe that anything unlikely could possibly be true. Rose is convinced that her husband is still alive; Jack says it's impossible. "They're probably thinking the same thing about us," is Rose's serene response, and that's our first strong hint that there may be other survivors we haven't encountered yet. Though Jack's take was more practical, I was inclined to believe Rose. Besides, this is immediately followed by Christian turning up in the jungle. Is Jack just cracking up? I'd say not, given that his appearance heralds John's arrival. But is it really Christian? Well, that's a very different matter...
Hurley plowing into Sawyer in Dave seemed so out of character that I completely forgot he and Sawyer had scuffled before, this time over the latter hoarding airplane peanuts. Hurley objects to Sawyer's selfishness, especially now that it's the last of the food. His annoyance with Sawyer continues, as he confides to Charlie on their fishing expedition that he's just glad to get away from that redneck. Oh, yeah, and the fuselage full of bodies. I love this scene because it allows Hurley and Charlie a chance to have a great time together as well as brush up on their survival skills. Their friendship is beginning to blossom. Meanwhile, there's just enough ill will between Hurley and Sawyer now to make the depth of their later friendship all the more powerful.
Shannon is pretty irritating in this episode once again, and I can't blame Boone for being frustrated with her. She sweet-talks Charlie into catching a fish for her, and he in turn gets Hurley to help, because he really doesn't know what he's doing. He devotes his day to catching that fish, and then once he presents it to her he comes to the realization that he has been used. I think this is the point at which he starts to lose romantic interest in Shannon - who showed no more interest in DriveShaft than anybody else has. It's a little pathetic the way he keeps bringing it up, but since that's the one thing in life he feels like he can be proud of, I guess it's pretty understandable. I do like the fact that he mentioned his grandfather to Shannon, and that he said, "God rest his soul," another indication of Charlie's Catholicism.
Although we don't see Claire for that much of the episode, in terms of defining her character, it's one of my favorites. She's the one who heads up the effort to glean as much information as possible about the deceased so she can give them a proper send-off; Jack doesn't want anything to do with it. As he will later state, he hates funerals. Claire is especially taken with Steve and Kristen, the couple who were planning their wedding. This convergence of a wedding and a funeral is significant for a show whose main musical theme is Life and Death, a show where bliss and tragedy always seem to accompany each other. In the midst of her recovery efforts, she finds Sayid's photos of Nadia and gives them to him, setting us up for his grand, tragic love story, and more immediately for Solitary.
While we don't see Hurley saying anything at the memorial service, my guess is that he does; I love that he is standing up there with her, apparently having planned the ceremony right alongside her, which makes perfect sense since he speaks at almost every funeral among the castaways that follows. Claire and Hurley have such a nice rapport, especially in these early episodes; I could almost see them getting together in the final season (assuming Charlie isn't zapped back into existence). I also love Sawyer showing his softer side by very awkwardly giving Claire some wallets he found while raiding the fuselage, much like he will later, on the advice of Hurley, give her a blanket, even more awkwardly.
Walkabout is one of the most significant episodes in all of LOST, mostly because of what it tells us about John, and in turn, the Island. And as much as I was disappointed to learn that John has been manipulated into thinking he is special for most of his life, the fact remains that when he landed on the Island, he could walk again. That's pretty special. How did it happen? Is Jacob responsible, or is it his nemesis? And do we really have to go through the last season without John Locke (and Terry O'Quinn as pseudo-Locke doesn't quite count) or is there any chance of seeing this incredibly intriguing character again?
Monday, March 9, 2009
That's the Island (That's a Woman, Phil Coulter)
In so many ways, LOST is about Jack, the first character we met in the series premiere. From the beginning, he assumed a leadership role and showed great skill in rallying most of the castaways and convincing them to work together for survival. He thrived in that environment, but he never enjoyed it and was always focused on leaving. Post-Island, he seems to have a change of heart.
My last reflection was a gently regretful soliloquy to the tune of Mountains of Mourne, as sung by Keith Harkin of Celtic Thunder. Both songs deal with a man confessing to the woman he loves that the place he was so determined to get to doesn't feel as fulfilling as the place he left. I started writing it before the season started, and then The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham helped me finish it.
It also helped me realize I wanted a whole song dealing exclusively with the extended Jack-John showdown, and That's a Woman, the Celtic Thunder duet between Ryan Kelly and Paul Byrom, seemed an ideal vehicle. John, like Paul, is hopelessly smitten, but in this case the object of his affections is the Island rather than a woman. He's a total sap when it comes to the Island, while Jack is vitriolic, laying on the Sawyerish snark as he details the reasons he detests the Island. This duet takes their debate from their first days on the Island up until their second arrival.
That's the Island
Season One
John: Island, such a heavenly haven.
Don't be craven.
Now we can make a new start.
Explore it.
Learn to adore it
Before it
Gives you the chance to depart.
Jack: A torturous trap where we happened to crash.
Better take it from me, that's the Island.
I'm mired in a mess like a medic on M*A*S*H.
We were not meant to be on the Island.
My boozy dad's body was bound for L.A.,
Not meant to be on the Island.
He ought to be deep in dirt by today,
Not staring and scaring my senses away
On the Island, on the Island.
Season Two
Jack: A den of abductions and dread and deceit.
Take it from me, that's the Island.
Full of murderous men we don't want to meet.
Take it from me, that's the Island.
Who's to say hatches are better than huts
On this mysterious Island?
Pushing the button's the work of a putz.
You sob, "It's our job!" but I think you've gone nuts
On the Island, on the Island.
John: Perfect and pure, that's the Island.
Miracle cure, that's the Island.
Driving us all to be daring,
Strange as the secrets it's sharing.
When you look in the eye of the Island
Jack: Look in its eye and you'll probably die!
That's the Island!
John: And ponder the "why" of the Island
Jack: John, it doesn't mean squat! There's no purpose or plot
On the Island!
John: You're purging your past
And you're special at last.
Both: The enigmas are vast
On the Island!
Season Three
John: Island, in need of protection.
My defection
Gave me the knowledge I need.
Don't cater
To the folks from the freighter.
They're traitors
Waiting to watch our world bleed.
Jack: Bait all the natives and blow 'em to bits,
That's how we exit the Island.
Hike up the hill 'cause the phone's on the fritz,
That's how we exit the Island.
Take a trek to the tower to turn off Rousseau,
That's how we exit the Island.
With Charlie in charge down below,
He'll let us know when all systems are go
On the Island, on the Island.
Season Four
Jack: It took a little more time than I planned.
Now we can exit the Island.
Do I have to put up with your silly last stand?
I'm ready to exit the Island.
You stay in your leafy botanical lodge,
Lavishing love on the Island.
Go in there and pick out a handsome corsage;
We'll hop on the chopper and get outta Dodge.
So long, Island, so long, Island!
Season Five
Jack: Look at my aimless and miserable state.
I think I'm missing the Island.
I'm dour and drunk and rejected by Kate.
I think I'm missing the Island.
Gotta find another plane
To get me back to the Island.
I'm trusting Ben. Am I insane?
I hear your voice inside my brain:
"What an Island!" What an Island...
Memory of John: Perfect and pure, that's the Island.
Jack: I'm perfectly keen to take Flight Three-Sixteen
To the Island.
Memory of John: Miracle cure, that's the Island.
Jack: You cured my doubts; too bad you're on the outs
With the Island.
Memory of John: Driving us all to be daring...
Jack: Thanks to your dare, I'm in the air.
To the Island!
Memory of John: Strange as the secrets it's sharing.
Both: When you look in the eye of the Island
And ponder the "why" of the Island,
You're purging your past
And you're special at last.
Jack: Now the die has been cast.
Both: To the Island!
Jack: Sure as I'm Jack, it's great to be back!
Both: What an island!
My last reflection was a gently regretful soliloquy to the tune of Mountains of Mourne, as sung by Keith Harkin of Celtic Thunder. Both songs deal with a man confessing to the woman he loves that the place he was so determined to get to doesn't feel as fulfilling as the place he left. I started writing it before the season started, and then The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham helped me finish it.
It also helped me realize I wanted a whole song dealing exclusively with the extended Jack-John showdown, and That's a Woman, the Celtic Thunder duet between Ryan Kelly and Paul Byrom, seemed an ideal vehicle. John, like Paul, is hopelessly smitten, but in this case the object of his affections is the Island rather than a woman. He's a total sap when it comes to the Island, while Jack is vitriolic, laying on the Sawyerish snark as he details the reasons he detests the Island. This duet takes their debate from their first days on the Island up until their second arrival.
That's the Island
Season One
John: Island, such a heavenly haven.
Don't be craven.
Now we can make a new start.
Explore it.
Learn to adore it
Before it
Gives you the chance to depart.
Jack: A torturous trap where we happened to crash.
Better take it from me, that's the Island.
I'm mired in a mess like a medic on M*A*S*H.
We were not meant to be on the Island.
My boozy dad's body was bound for L.A.,
Not meant to be on the Island.
He ought to be deep in dirt by today,
Not staring and scaring my senses away
On the Island, on the Island.
Season Two
Jack: A den of abductions and dread and deceit.
Take it from me, that's the Island.
Full of murderous men we don't want to meet.
Take it from me, that's the Island.
Who's to say hatches are better than huts
On this mysterious Island?
Pushing the button's the work of a putz.
You sob, "It's our job!" but I think you've gone nuts
On the Island, on the Island.
John: Perfect and pure, that's the Island.
Miracle cure, that's the Island.
Driving us all to be daring,
Strange as the secrets it's sharing.
When you look in the eye of the Island
Jack: Look in its eye and you'll probably die!
That's the Island!
John: And ponder the "why" of the Island
Jack: John, it doesn't mean squat! There's no purpose or plot
On the Island!
John: You're purging your past
And you're special at last.
Both: The enigmas are vast
On the Island!
Season Three
John: Island, in need of protection.
My defection
Gave me the knowledge I need.
Don't cater
To the folks from the freighter.
They're traitors
Waiting to watch our world bleed.
Jack: Bait all the natives and blow 'em to bits,
That's how we exit the Island.
Hike up the hill 'cause the phone's on the fritz,
That's how we exit the Island.
Take a trek to the tower to turn off Rousseau,
That's how we exit the Island.
With Charlie in charge down below,
He'll let us know when all systems are go
On the Island, on the Island.
Season Four
Jack: It took a little more time than I planned.
Now we can exit the Island.
Do I have to put up with your silly last stand?
I'm ready to exit the Island.
You stay in your leafy botanical lodge,
Lavishing love on the Island.
Go in there and pick out a handsome corsage;
We'll hop on the chopper and get outta Dodge.
So long, Island, so long, Island!
Season Five
Jack: Look at my aimless and miserable state.
I think I'm missing the Island.
I'm dour and drunk and rejected by Kate.
I think I'm missing the Island.
Gotta find another plane
To get me back to the Island.
I'm trusting Ben. Am I insane?
I hear your voice inside my brain:
"What an Island!" What an Island...
Memory of John: Perfect and pure, that's the Island.
Jack: I'm perfectly keen to take Flight Three-Sixteen
To the Island.
Memory of John: Miracle cure, that's the Island.
Jack: You cured my doubts; too bad you're on the outs
With the Island.
Memory of John: Driving us all to be daring...
Jack: Thanks to your dare, I'm in the air.
To the Island!
Memory of John: Strange as the secrets it's sharing.
Both: When you look in the eye of the Island
And ponder the "why" of the Island,
You're purging your past
And you're special at last.
Jack: Now the die has been cast.
Both: To the Island!
Jack: Sure as I'm Jack, it's great to be back!
Both: What an island!
Sunday, November 5, 2006
I Am John Locke (I Am a Rock, Paul Simon)
I'm getting caught up on the second season of LOST now so I can finally eventually watch current episodes... Though I'm getting so spoiled by shows on DVD it's going to be annoying wading through those commercials again! But here is a parody about John Locke, who's been one of my favorite characters on the show from the beginning, to the tune of I Am a Rock.
I Am John Locke
We're castaways,
But in truth, I can't remember
When I have known
Such a sense of purpose. I'm on hallowed ground.
I'll fight to keep the freedom I have found.
I am John Locke. I love this island!
I was called
A poor old fool - not rightly.
My own dad showed me hate.
But now I'm bravely seeking monsters in the rain.
I have become impervious to pain.
I am John Locke. I love this island!
My life's been tough.
While I had no worth before,
I'm meeting with my destiny.
When that plane hit the water, I thought that I was dead;
I have finally begun to live instead.
I am John Locke. I love this island!
I hike and cook,
And my box of knives will protect me.
I'm a hunter, not a farmer.
I just killed a boar. Soon I'll kill some more.
There's no one more equipped for this than me.
I am John Locke. I love this island!
Yes, John Locke is my name,
And this island's just my size.
I Am John Locke
We're castaways,
But in truth, I can't remember
When I have known
Such a sense of purpose. I'm on hallowed ground.
I'll fight to keep the freedom I have found.
I am John Locke. I love this island!
I was called
A poor old fool - not rightly.
My own dad showed me hate.
But now I'm bravely seeking monsters in the rain.
I have become impervious to pain.
I am John Locke. I love this island!
My life's been tough.
While I had no worth before,
I'm meeting with my destiny.
When that plane hit the water, I thought that I was dead;
I have finally begun to live instead.
I am John Locke. I love this island!
I hike and cook,
And my box of knives will protect me.
I'm a hunter, not a farmer.
I just killed a boar. Soon I'll kill some more.
There's no one more equipped for this than me.
I am John Locke. I love this island!
Yes, John Locke is my name,
And this island's just my size.
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