Bad Month (Bad Day, Daniel Powter)

"You're havin' a bad month." - John to Walt, Pilot, Part 2

"Vincent - I tethered him to a tree just over there. I know that Walt lost his mom. I thought that you should be the one to bring his dog back to him."- John to Michael, Tabula Rasa

For some reason, Michael and Walt are two characters I've neglected somewhat, but I love John's interaction with Walt in the pilot and his facilitation of his reunion with Vincent in Tabula Rasa.  I would imagine that, given how poorly he was parented, he is especially hopeful that Michael will give Walt the kind of love and guidance he himself so sorely needed.

Bad Month

Michael, I know what he’s missing the most,

And would you believe that I found what he lost?

I tethered his Lab up to that tree,

But credit for that won’t go to me.

It should be you who brings his dog.

You feel like your boy’s just a kid you don’t know;

As long as you try, you will learn as you go.

He needs a good dad, and you’ll do fine.

You’ll manage to make up for lost time.

It should be you who brings his dog

‘Cause he’s had a bad month.  He’s gotta feel down,

But he can stay strong since he has you around.

As long as he knows his dad’s on his side,

Your wandering child’s gonna take it in stride.

He’s had a bad month.  He watched his mom die.

Los Angeles bound, he was thrown from the sky.

He’s had a bad month.  He’s had a bad month.

Before he wakes up, just slip away.

Get Vincent and brighten up his day.

It should be you who brings his dog.

He’s had a bad month.  He’s gotta feel down,

But he can stay strong since he has you around.

As long as he knows his dad’s on his side,

Your wandering child’s gonna take it in stride.

He’s had a bad month.  He watched his mom die.

Los Angeles bound, he was thrown from the sky.

He’s had a bad month.  Oh, what a lousy month!

Sadly, a son can struggle and sink

If a parent he trusts is gone.

Before you make it back to L.A.,

He ought to know that you’re the one

He can count on.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So hurry and go, and I swear I won’t boast.

Just you and I

Will know how you found what was hopelessly lost.

‘Cause he’s had a bad month.  He’s gotta feel down,

But he can stay strong since he has you around.

As long as he knows his dad’s on his side,

Your wandering child’s gonna take it in stride.

He’s had a bad month.  He watched his mom die.

He met you and thought, “Who’s this guy?”

He’s had a bad month.  He had a bad month.

Had a bad month.  Had a bad month.  Had a bad month…

Michael, Build the Raft with Jin (Michael, Row the Boat Ashore, Traditional)

Here's a very simple ditty harkening back to very simple days on LOST, back when it seemed possible that getting off the Island could be as simple as Michael building a raft. Set to the tune of the Highwaymen's version of Michael, Row the Boat Ashore.

Michael, Build the Raft with Jin

Michael, build the raft with Jin.
Leave the Island.
New adventures will begin.
Leave the Island.

Sawyer, help to lend a hand.
Leave the Island.
Don’t lie lounging in the sand.
Leave the Island.

Michael, build the raft with Jin.
Leave the Island.
New adventures will begin.
Leave the Island.

Mr. Locke will be helping you, Walt.
Leave the Island.
Won’t reveal that the fire’s your fault.
Leave the Island.

Michael, build the raft with Jin.
Leave the Island.
New adventures will begin.
Leave the Island.

A little more work to do and then you
Leave the Island.
Who knows what you’ll have to face when you
Leave the Island?

Michael, build the raft with Jin.
Leave the Island.
New adventures will begin.
Leave the Island.

Stealing Walt (Steal Away, Phil Coulter)

As I count down the days until the final season of LOST begins, one way to whet my appetite is with a few more parodies. Here's a throwback to season one to the tune of Phil Coulter's Steal Away.

Stealing Walt

Others: Stealing Walt, we’re stealing Walt.
It’s really not our fault.
When bossed by Ben,
We’re mousy men,
And so we’re stealing Walt.

Tom: We’re stealing Walt, a special kid.
I hope we seem like hicks now.
It’s tough to keep my voice so gruff,
And boy, does this beard itch now.

Others: Stealing Walt, we’re stealing Walt.
It’s really not our fault.
When bossed by Ben,
We’re mousy men,
And so we’re stealing Walt.

Tom: We’ll leave his dad in misery
And obsessed with his retrieval.
Oh, I don’t like to mess with Mike;
I’m afraid this might make him evil.

Others: Stealing Walt, we’re stealing Walt.
It’s really not our fault.
When bossed by Ben,
We’re mousy men,
And so we’re stealing Walt.

Stealing Walt, we’re stealing Walt.
It’s really not our fault.
When bossed by Ben,
We’re mousy men,
And so we’re stealing Walt.

Bear! (Hair, Galt MacDermot / James Rado / Gerome Ragni)

How many times have we seen a polar bear on LOST now? And how many polar bears has it actually been? Two? Three? One bear possessing eerie Mikhail-like indestructibility? That's the theory I have Sawyer posit in this silly parody of the Cowsills' Hair.

Bear!

Sawyer: You asked me why.
Why? I don't wanna die.
That bear was in my sighty-sight sight.
He gave me a fright.
That bear has died, you know.
The tough task was mine;
I made him go!
He won't come back. He's dead.
Guess we'll be well fed!
Darlin'...

Look! I just shot a bear.
Big, burly white bear.
Growlin', scowlin',
Furry, in a hurry.

Would have said, "Beware!" (Bear!)
If he'd been there longer. (Bear!)
Still, I have stopped trauma;
Why treat me like a baddie?

(Bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)
Shoot 'im, boot 'im,
'Long as I can mute 'im,
That bear.

Walt: I made a dash for the trees.
I am begging you, please
Be speedy in seizing that bear.
I'd get on my knees
And pray, but I'd better freeze
And skimp on words
And hope the birds
Make a clatter
That will shatter
The attention of that...

(Bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)
Stab 'im, jab 'im,
Just keep him from grabbin'!
That bear...

Sawyer: I want him long gone, not returning,
Musty, dusty, beaten, eaten.
Hope that he's forever severed.
Now his cage is sparking rages.
Think I'd better risk it,
Fishin' for his biscuit
Though he's bigger than a yeti
And his jaws and claws are like machetes.

Eko: Oh, say can you see his eyes?
If you can, then your life is short.

Sawyer: He's still here.
Don't know where.
Darn that bear! Darn that bear! I stopped him myself!
How can his paws keep runnin' when I stopped him myself?

Oh, why is a polar bear,
Non-tropical bear,
Even grievin' us? He should be leavin'.

How does a regular fella dare (Bear!)
Face a beast that's stronger? (Bear!)
That may be more drama
Than I would deal with gladly.
(Bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)
Shoot 'im, boot 'im,
'Long as I can mute 'im,
That... (bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)
Shoot 'im, boot 'im,
'Long as I can mute 'im,
That... (bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)