Baby Brother

Though he's only actually appeared in three episodes of LOST, I feel like viewers have come to know Liam, older brother of Charlie Pace, fairly well. My feelings toward him are very mixed, since for the most part he seems to have contributed mightily to the downfall of Driveshaft and Charlie's own devastating heroin addiction. Yet there is definite evidence of fraternal affection from his end, particularly when he gives Charlie their mother's ring, ironically believing that it will be safer with him. While Liam's sudden determination to clean up his act, inspired by a desire to be a good father and husband, is admirable, in order to achieve his goal he abandons Charlie, who has always been there for him in times of crisis. So I imagine Liam has been feeling pretty guilty since the crash of Flight 815. Here's a little poem chronicling his contrition.

Baby Brother

I'm sorry, baby brother.
I drifted from your side,
Denied how much I owed you. I was wrong.
I'm sorry, baby brother.
You followed where I led,
To dead-end drugs that stripped the joy from song.

I'm sorry, baby brother.
I know you were the band.
You handed me a fortune, and such fame!
I'm sorry, baby brother.
The noble dream you chased
Was wasted on this Pace who shamed our name.

I'm sorry, baby brother.
I made you take Mum's ring,
The thing we treasured most, and now it's lost.
I'm sorry, baby brother.
Refusing your request
Seemed best. I hadn't counted on the cost.

I'm sorry, baby brother.
Though you were just a whelp,
You helped me after every ugly fall.
I'm sorry, baby brother.
I left you with my mess.
I guess I was the baby after all.

Will You Like Me More? (When I'm Sixty-Four, Paul McCartney)

Shame on me, giving Sawyer another song when I've neglected so many other characters entirely. But I have mistaken first impressions on the brain today. And while Sawyer never quite proves himself entirely trustworthy, there's a lot more to him than that jerk who antagonized Sayid. In my other parody, I have him protesting the idea of Locke trying to make him a better person; in this When I'm 64 parody, which takes place a little earlier, it's almost the opposite as Sawyer, frustrated to find himself falling for Kate, imagines himself confronting her and trying to convince her he's not so bad. The poor guy's conflicted and can't figure out whether he wants to be loved or hated. Silly Sawyer... All you need is love!

Will You Like Me More?

When I was boldly shooting a bear,
Why'd you have a cow?
Thanks to me, the scouting party's doing fine.
Your revulsion should be a sign
You'll never be attracted to me.
Still, I'm not so sure.
If you take chances with second glances,
Will you like me more?

You have secrets too.
If you sing like a bird,
I'll share mine with you.

I don't know why you flatly refuse,
Thinkin' it's a con.
Princess, is it prejudice or is it pride?
You won't see my sensitive side.
If I try harder, grovel and plead
On the jungle floor,
If you take chances with second glances,
Will you like me more?

We could help each other warm our bodies
In the dead of night, if I'm bein' clear.
If you'd only cave,
I'd prove that I can be
More than just a knave.

Now that you've tossed my heart on the line,
Here's the thing to do:
Ditch the doc - he's much too busy anyway,
Bossin' us around every day.
Pity the one who fell for your charm.
Dine with me on boar.
If you take chances with second glances,
Will you like me more?

Despair (Here, There and Everywhere, Paul McCartney)

After all this gushing over Charlie, I've finally written a parody for him. Set to the tune of Here, There and Everywhere, it captures his state of desolation early in the first season.

Despair

What's happened to my life,
And how did I end up here?

We're
Likely to stay around here,
Stuck here for life with the waves and the sand.
Why did I plan
To fly Oceanic Air?

Where
Are we? Does anyone care
That I've gone missing? I'd rather not be
Someplace that's creeping
With monsters and polar bears.

And when that John guy stares,
He can see inside me. Why'd I come so unprepared?
I should have a hundred bags of drugs to spare.
I'm running out, and I'm scared.
I wish he'd leave me alone, but those eyes,
Probing and wise...
They follow me everywhere.

And when that John guy stares,
He can see inside me. Why'd I come so unprepared?
I should have a hundred bags of drugs to spare.
I'm running out, and I'm scared.
I wish he'd leave me alone, but those eyes,
Probing and wise...
They follow me everywhere.

If not for Claire,
I'd fold, I swear.
She spares me from despair.