Don't Tell Me What I Can't Do! (I Don't Mind If I Do, Traditional)

"Don't tell me what I can't do!"
- John, Walkabout

If there's one word I associate with LOST's John Locke, it's "destiny," but if there's one phrase, it's "Don't tell me what I can't do!" Here's a song reflecting that, to the tune of the Irish Rovers' I Don't Mind If I Do.

Don’t Tell Me What I Can’t Do!

You asked me to tell you my favorite phrase,
The one I’ll repeat to the end of my days,
The one that’s stuck with me like paper to glue.
It’s the seven words “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”

No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.

My name is John Locke, and a hunter am I.
Some say I’m a farmer, but that is a lie.
When someone suggests it, I give him a clue
When I counter with, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”

No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.

When I was a scrawny teen struggling through school,
My professor said, “Listen, John. Don’t be a fool.
You’re meant for this science camp. Sports aren’t for you.”
But I yelled at him, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”

No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.

I wanted to discover who my long-lost dad was.
They found him but said to me, “Don’t think because
You share the same blood that he’ll care about you.”
But I shouted back, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”

No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.

Well, I met with a woman who thought I was grand,
And I was about to ask her for her hand.
She said, “Drop your dad; he’ll just hurt you anew.”
So I had to cry, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”

No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.

In need of renewal and fully prepared,
I set off for a walkabout, but one of them dared
To say that my wheels were a problem. On cue,
I lashed out with, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”

No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.

Now I’m on the Island and I’ve been reborn.
I'm no longer a loser, no longer forlorn.
If you think of crossing me, let me review:
I will always say, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”

No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man!

Bear! (Hair, Galt MacDermot / James Rado / Gerome Ragni)

How many times have we seen a polar bear on LOST now? And how many polar bears has it actually been? Two? Three? One bear possessing eerie Mikhail-like indestructibility? That's the theory I have Sawyer posit in this silly parody of the Cowsills' Hair.

Bear!

Sawyer: You asked me why.
Why? I don't wanna die.
That bear was in my sighty-sight sight.
He gave me a fright.
That bear has died, you know.
The tough task was mine;
I made him go!
He won't come back. He's dead.
Guess we'll be well fed!
Darlin'...

Look! I just shot a bear.
Big, burly white bear.
Growlin', scowlin',
Furry, in a hurry.

Would have said, "Beware!" (Bear!)
If he'd been there longer. (Bear!)
Still, I have stopped trauma;
Why treat me like a baddie?

(Bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)
Shoot 'im, boot 'im,
'Long as I can mute 'im,
That bear.

Walt: I made a dash for the trees.
I am begging you, please
Be speedy in seizing that bear.
I'd get on my knees
And pray, but I'd better freeze
And skimp on words
And hope the birds
Make a clatter
That will shatter
The attention of that...

(Bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)
Stab 'im, jab 'im,
Just keep him from grabbin'!
That bear...

Sawyer: I want him long gone, not returning,
Musty, dusty, beaten, eaten.
Hope that he's forever severed.
Now his cage is sparking rages.
Think I'd better risk it,
Fishin' for his biscuit
Though he's bigger than a yeti
And his jaws and claws are like machetes.

Eko: Oh, say can you see his eyes?
If you can, then your life is short.

Sawyer: He's still here.
Don't know where.
Darn that bear! Darn that bear! I stopped him myself!
How can his paws keep runnin' when I stopped him myself?

Oh, why is a polar bear,
Non-tropical bear,
Even grievin' us? He should be leavin'.

How does a regular fella dare (Bear!)
Face a beast that's stronger? (Bear!)
That may be more drama
Than I would deal with gladly.
(Bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)
Shoot 'im, boot 'im,
'Long as I can mute 'im,
That... (bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)
Shoot 'im, boot 'im,
'Long as I can mute 'im,
That... (bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)