I'll Fly Those Fellas Home (The Boys Come Rollin' Home, Tommy Sands)

"Here we go, Frank.  Come on.  Come on...  Amen."
- Frank, The End

Another Frank song.  I had presumed him dead ever since The Candidate, so I was thrilled to see him turn up alive after all, and then wind up one of the big heroes of the finale.  Here's Frank to the tune of the Irish Rovers' The Boys Come Rollin' Home.

I’ll Fly Those Fellas Home

I always will remember well the strange September day
Norris flew 815 out of Sydney.
I gotta get my rest, but oversleeping doesn‘t pay,
‘Cause poor Seth, he didn’t do so great, now did he?

But I’ll get through this.  I’ll do this.  I braved the salty foam.
With some spunk and with a prayer, I will get ‘er in the air,
And I’ll fly those fellas home.

I made it to the freighter with a madman and his friend.
My chopper didn’t crash in stormy weather.
I got us off the Island and I lost the beard and then
I brought Jack and all his buddies back together.

So I’ll get through this.  I’ll do this.  I braved the salty foam.
With some spunk and with a prayer, I will get ‘er in the air,
And I’ll fly those fellas home.

Now Miles has got his duct tape, and Ricky’s by his side,
And Ben is somewhere with his walkie-talkie.
I see the Island crumblin’, and it‘s lookin’ like we‘re fried,
But it‘s tiger time; I kinda feel like Rocky!

So I’ll get through this.  I’ll do this.  I braved the salty foam.
With some spunk and with a prayer, I will get ‘er in the air,
And I’ll fly those fellas home.

We're goin’ down the runway now, and a few folks showed up late.
I wonder, is it fun to see me stressing?
But in they go, with buckles on, so Sawyer, Claire and Kate
Are part of 316 and share the blessing.

Yeah, I’ll get through this.  I’ll do this.  I braved the salty foam.
With some spunk and with a prayer, I will get ‘er in the air,
And I’ll fly those fellas home.

Yeah, I’ll get through this.  I’ll do this.  I braved the salty foam.
With some spunk and with a prayer, I will get ‘er in the air,
And I’ll fly those fellas home.

Yeah, I’ll fly those fellas home!

The Boys Come Rollin' Home

I Will Destroy the Beast (God's Own Fool, Michael Card)

"It's where I was told I could summon the monster. That's before I realized that it was the one summoning me."
- Ben, What They Died For

Ben's actions on the Island in What They Died For initially really depressed me because it felt like such a sad regression back into villainy. But the more I think about it, the more certain I am that Ben is running his own con, and because of his incredibly dark past and his willingness to kill his old enemy to get his point across, he may just be able to pull it off where Sawyer failed. Here's hopin'. Here is Ben to the tune of Michael Card's God's Own Fool.

I Will Destroy the Beast

Seems he misled me for all of my life
Since I came to this place as a kid,
And he molded me into a murderous man.
I cringe at the things that I did.
For ever since Jacob clutched me as he died
And then Miles confirmed that he cared,
I've seen how this monster made use of my pride
Until I was wholly ensnared.

So I, in my foolishness, ate up his lies.
I was his tool then, but now I’ve grown wise.
When I was a leader, he conned me so long.
Now I’ve been humbled and know I was wrong.
And so I’ll make that thing a fool.
I owe that to Jacob at least.
I won’t stand by and be his tool.
I will destroy the beast.

I’ll give up my life for the sake of this con
That will rid us of evil at last.
I’ll do it for Jacob and Alex and John.
I’ll purge the mistakes of my past.
I’ll surrender the power that never was mine,
Be the man Jacob hoped I could be.
For I’ve been through the fire and I’ve been refined,
And though I was blind, now I see.

Yes, I, in my foolishness, ate up his lies.
I was his tool then, but now I’ve grown wise.
When I was a leader, he conned me so long.
Now I’ve been humbled and know I was wrong.
And so I’ll make that thing a fool.
I owe that to Alex at least.
I won’t stand by and be his tool.
I will destroy the beast.

So I’ll make that thing a fool.
I owe that to John Locke at least.
I won’t stand by and be his tool.
I will destroy the beast.

You're the Best (Be Our Guest, Alan Menken / Howard Ashman)

"You're the best, Dr. Linus!"
- Alex, Dr. Linus

The relationship between Ben and his adopted daughter Alex has been full of angst and complications, but in season six, we got to see the two of them relating to each other with much greater ease and warmth. Here's a celebration of Sideways Ben and Alex, to the tune of Be Our Guest, from Beauty and the Beast.

You’re the Best

Alex: You’re the best, you’re the best.
Dr. Linus, you’re the best.
Without you, what would I do?
I’d have no clue! I’d flunk the test!
Though you say I’ll be fine,
My whole future’s on the line.
I don’t trust my comprehension.
When I heard you had detention,
I was bummed. I was scared
I would never be prepared.
But you’ve rescued me, and boy, am I impressed!
Though Reynolds may ignore you,
I’m so thankful for you.
You’re the best, you’re the best, you’re the best.

Ben: I was down and distressed.
Bless this unexpected guest!
Teens like her make teaching worth it,
Despite aspects I detest:
Reynolds’ rude attitude,
Students’ base ingratitude.
Let’s dispense with all this whining
And get back to our fine dining.
Look, my life’s not so bad,
So let’s keep our chins up, Dad.
Don’t feel guilty; just enjoy your turkey breast.
I’ve done a few things right.
She helped me see the light
‘Cause she’s the best.
I feel blessed
To acknowledge her request.
She’s the best, she’s the best, she’s the best.

Who‘s to say that leaving
Is a choice we should be grieving?
If we’d stayed, we might have made a big mistake.
Even though I left my truest friend there,
I’ve become a mentor for her sake.
These students... They need me,
And when we came back, you freed me
To deny myself and seek the greater good.
Turns out I’m a teacher, not a doctor.
Dad, who was I fooling,
Getting all that extra schooling?

[Next Day]
Alex: I am stressed, I am stressed,
‘Cause if I don’t pass this test,
Then I’ll fail to go to Yale.
I will be stuck here in the west.
Gotta work up the nerve
To go ask Reynolds the perv
For a nice recommendation -

Ben: Wait, did he abuse his station?
I’ve been wanting a change.
Would it really be so strange
If I used this little tidbit to protest?
I‘d love to stage a coup,
But I will not hurt you,
So I’ll stay dressed in this vest
And arrest this whole quest.

[Later]
Alex: You’re the best, you’re the best,
And though you have not confessed,
Reynold’s letter was much better
Than I ever would have guessed,
So I think what occurred
Is you put in a good word.
Yes, if my appeal advances,
It’s because you helped my chances.
Off to college I’ll go
With the knowledge you bestow,
And if anybody asks, I will attest
That if you want the finest,
Go with Dr. Linus;
He’s the best.
You’re the best, you’re the best.
Yes, you’re the best!

Dr. Linus (Mrs. Crandall's Boardinghouse, George and Will Millar / Wilcil McDowell)

"Linus, you're a real killer!"
 - Arzt, Dr. Linus

LOST has a wonderful way of bringing back minor characters in surprising ways. Dr. Leslie Arzt is one guy who's had a surprisingly large role in the sixth season, considering the fact that he blew up back in season one. Here, to the tune of the Irish Rovers' Mrs. Crandall's Boardinghouse, he gets to air our a few complaints as Dr. Benjamin Linus listens patiently.

Dr. Linus

In the science lab I teach in,
The equipment’s decades old.
I am desperate for some aprons,
But they cost too much, I’m told.
Mr. Reynolds has the power here.
Mr. Reynolds is a jerk.
Mr. Reynolds makes me suspect
I need a new line of work.

Look at you, Dr. Linus!
You seemed so docile until
You mentioned your plan
To bring down The Man.
Linus, you’re a killer!

Well, if I pull off this surveillance,
I require a little fee.
This could get me into trouble,
So I’d best consider carefully.
I would like a good spot, Linus,
By the shady maple tree -
But beside it and not under,
So my car will be leaf-free.

Look at you, Dr. Linus!
You seemed so docile until
You mentioned your plan
To bring down The Man.
Linus, you’re a killer!

I can’t believe what I am hearing.
What about our clever coup?
Put myself on the line for a reason.
I thought I could depend on you.
Listen, Linus, you misled me.
Now I’m right back at Square One.
It’ll be a long, long time now
Before my complaining will be done.

Look at you, Dr. Linus!
You seemed so docile until
You mentioned your plan
To bring down The Man.
Linus, you’re a killer!

Mrs. Crandall's Boardinghouse

Cursing His Protection (Losing My Religion, R. E. M.)

"I devoted my life, longer than you can possibly imagine, in service of a man who told me that everything was happening for a reason, that he had a plan, a plan that I was a part of, and when the time was right that he'd share it with me, and now that man's gone so...why do I want to die? Because I just found out my entire life had no purpose."
- Richard, Dr. Linus

My dad is always on the lookout for songs to suggest to me for LOSTification. His most recent offering was REM's Losing My Religion. I've always found that song quite the downer, so my reaction wasn't too enthusiastic, but then I realized that it really was fitting for Dr. Linus, an episode in which so many characters express profound doubts about the man to whom they have looked as a godlike entity. Particularly striking is Richard Alpert, who, after well over a century as Jacob's faithful follower, hits rock bottom as he believes all of his service was in vain. Here's a rant from him.

Cursing His Protection

My life is longer,
It’s longer than you
Could ever guess, Jack.
It’s all because of Jacob.
He said it was a gift.
Oh, no. He steered me wrong
For far too long.

I’m here on the Black Rock.
I’m back where I started and
Cursing his protection.
He said he had a plan,
And he said he would share it with me.
Oh, no. He steered me wrong.
He just strung me along.
I thought that I had a purpose.
I thought that he told the truth.
But now I think I want to die.

Every leader
And every bad decision moved us
In the right direction,
Or so I told myself back then
As the cycle began again but
Oh, no. He steered me wrong
For far too long.

Remember this.
Remember this,
And make sure your friend does too.
Remember this.
Do not believe what he told you.  Now, 
Jack, I’m decades overdue
To leave this old life,
For he steered me wrong.
I thought that I had a purpose.
I thought that he told the truth.
But now I think I want to die.

It was all a lie.
It was all a lie.

I’m here on the Black Rock.
I’m back where I started and
Cursing his protection.
He said he had a plan,
And he said he would share it with me.
Oh, no. He steered me wrong.
He just strung me along.
I thought that I had a purpose.
I thought that he told the truth.
But now I think I want to die.

Yes, it was all a lie,
So why not die?
It was all a lie.
All a lie, all a lie.
Lie.

I'll Have You (I Got You, Babe, Sonny Bono)

"I'll have you."
- Ilana, Dr. Linus

Over the years, LOST has provided many powerfully moving moments, but few pack the punch of the emotional, cathartic scene between Ilana and Ben toward the end of Dr. Linus. Could it possibly have been any better? No. It could not. Here's a reflection on one of my favorite LOST moments ever, to the tune of Sonny and Cher's I Got You, Babe (which, incidentally, is prominently featured in Groundhog Day, about a morally bankrupt man who makes wrong decisions again and again before finally making major changes for the better).

I’ll Have You

Ben: My bitter actions caused you pain,
But please, give me a moment to explain.
I was so angry and afraid.
I know you won’t forgive the choice I made...

Ilana: Ben.
I’ll have you, Ben.
I’ll have you, Ben.

Ben: I watched my daughter Alex die.
I could have saved her; didn’t even try.
I blamed myself but blamed Jacob too.
Oh, Ilana, I felt just as lost as you.

Ilana: Ben.
I’ll have you, Ben.
I’ll have you, Ben.

Ben: I believed he didn’t care.
I believed he was unfair.
That changed when Miles heard his voice.
My grief is my fault, for I had a choice.

I told you what I need to, so
I just ask that you will let me go.
I see that Locke’s a monster. Still,
He said he’d have me. Nobody else will.

Ilana: Ben.
I’ll have you, Ben.
I’ll have you, Ben.

Ben: You’ll have me? I’m thunderstruck.
You’ll have me, a sinful shmuck?
You’ll have me? My mind’s a blur.
You’ll have me, a murderer?
You’ll have me? What can I say?
You’ll have me? I can’t repay.
You’ll have me? How can I face
Such a magnitude of grace?

Ilana: I’ll have you, Ben.
I’ll have you, Ben.
I’ll have you, Ben.
I’ll have you, Ben.
I’ll have you, Ben.

“I Was Terrified That I Was About to Lose the Only Thing That Ever Mattered to Me, My Power. But the Thing That Really Mattered Was Already Gone.”

Best. Episode. Ever. Well, that may be overstating it a bit, but no, not really. Because I do love Benjamin Linus every bit as much as Desmond, Daniel, John, Charlie, Hurley and any other character I’ve ever placed at the top of my hierarchy. And after this week, surely I can stop apologizing for it.

Rarely, if ever, have I gone into an episode with such particular hopes for what would happen. Usually it doesn’t get much more specific than my hoping a certain character won’t get killed off. Oddly, this week, I hoped Ben would be killed, because I kinda figured it was kill or be killed. But nobody died in this episode, and yet Ben still found both redemption and vindication. It was more than I could have hoped for, such utter exhilaration after last week’s desolation that, while I’m still not entirely ready to give up on her yet, if Annie is never mentioned on the show again I’ll probably be okay with that. Alex is enough.

While I would have loved it if a couple of other characters could have crossed paths with Ben in Sideways World - for instance, Nathan and I thought Tom would make a smashing janitor - the ones who did show up were extremely satisfying. I figured that we’d see Ben in the high school setting again in this episode, and my second-favorite of my theories - that he had a doctorate but was teaching high school anyway - turned out to be true. It’s not entirely clear to me why he was there; it seems like some combination of not being able to teach at the college level and wanting to reach out to high school students.

I also figured we’d see John again. Though their scene together was brief, I absolutely loved it, and in this context, John was simply giving Ben a vote of confidence, not a Ring-like temptation. John saw that the current administrator was corrupt and uncaring and that Ben was different. He would shake things up, put the emphasis back on the students where it belonged. I don’t think Ben had any true aspiration to be principal before this point; John put the idea in his head. Even though they barely know each other, the deeply planted seeds of mutual respect are already blooming.

I really didn’t anticipate Arzt, but as soon as he showed up, it was a forehead-slapping moment. Of course they would be colleagues. Who else do we know who’s a high school teacher? I find it hilarious that we’ve now seen almost as much of Arzt in season six as in previous seasons combined. And how fitting that he would show up in an episode that tracked back to Nikki and Paolo! Not to mention the Black Rock. Arzt doesn’t really seem to have changed a lot in Sideways world. He’s still whiny - my goodness, that rant about the parking space! He still tries to bolster his own low self-esteem by denigrating others. He’s annoying. But he’s also basically a decent guy. It’s both fun and fulfilling to see him and Ben riffing off each other, with Ben clearly the less jaded of the pair. “I know you’ve given up,” he tells Leslie, “but I refuse to.”

I didn’t expect Roger, who was oh so frail and still rather caustic but on much better terms with his son - and alive! And receiving life-giving instead of life-taking gas from his son. What’s more, for the first time, we heard someone from Sideways World mention the Island. Ben and Roger remember it. Presumably Emily still died in childbirth. Indeed, I wouldn’t be surprised if the first ten or so years of Ben’s life played out in much the same way, and that includes both Horace and Annie. Does Ben know that Horace’s son is working at a nearby hospital? My guess is no. Does Ben still have the doll? I would say yes. But in this case, instead of Annie leaving him, he left her. The situation all got a bit too dicey for Roger and he booked the next sub back to North America. It certainly looks to me as though Ben is a bachelor living alone with his father, serving as his devoted caretaker. And even though I said I’m probably willing to dismiss Annie if it comes to that, I truly believe that she is the one true love of Ben’s life and that Sideways World will reunite them at last.

Principal Reynolds is obnoxious and dismissive. He’s the sort of principal teachers have nightmares about. And Ben is under his thumb. In this episode, Ben is Will Schuster from Glee. He has a tiny but devoted group of students who share his passion for a particular subject, and he really has to fight for the privilege of continuing to mentor them. (Though Figgins is a much better principal than Reynolds.) As the episode progressed, the Island storyline seemed to turn into one big Jacob-bashing party, and I was worried that Sideways was drawing parallels between Reynolds and Jacob. But I’m pretty sure it’s Widmore we’re supposed to be thinking of. Widmore, who seems to have been a pretty lousy leader, a bloodthirsty tyrant, and who was deposed because of an inappropriate relationship. Widmore, who has finally made it back. Who is ordering, “Proceed as planned,” despite his lackey’s objections that there are people on the beach. Sounds to me like he’s planning something pretty unpleasant.

And then, of course, there is Alex. It’s so perfect that she actually is a student of his. Why is Danielle in L. A., and apparently doing menial work instead of changing the world with her scientific discoveries? What happened this time to cause the fallout between her and Robert? Because I certainly got the sense that Ben is the closest thing that Alex has to a father. They have a curiously close relationship; considering that she shows up on his doorstep (though he sagely suggests the library as a study spot), I almost wonder if Ben has always been a part of her life - a neighbor, maybe, or perhaps they attend the same church. (I don’t know about Alex, but my money’s on Ben being a church-goer.) But her explanation to him of the problems in her life suggests that he doesn’t know Danielle, at least not nearly as well as Alex. So perhaps it’s just that she is one of those students every teacher longs for and he is just the sort of teacher who can help push her to greatness.

It was so touching to see this relationship between them, that of beloved student and revered teacher, uncomplicated by the whole Island infertility problem and typical teenage rebellion against one’s parents. Glancing over at Lostpedia, I discovered that Alex’s full name was Alexandra Rousseau. I’d always thought it was Linus. So back on the Island, not only did Ben retain the first name Danielle gave her, which struck me as a very respectful gesture, apparently he also kept her last name. Sideways Ben clearly cares about Alex deeply. But instead of clinging to her, he longs to see her spread her wings and make a less disappointing life for herself than he feels he’s had. There was a touch of Mr. Holland’s Opus in here, I thought. Ben didn’t set out to be a high school teacher. But he’s really, really good at it. He’s not just intelligent, he’s empathetic, and he doesn’t want to see anyone fall through the cracks. Ben, I nominate you for a Golden Apple Award. Look at what Ben was willing to give up for Alex’s sake, and to not even hint to her that he did so! Benjamin is a Good Guy.

Back on the Island, I didn’t really expect Ben to meet up again with Team Ilana. I figured he’d go running off somewhere all by himself and that he would remain in isolation for the majority of the episode, though I hoped for a meeting with Hurley and I feared a confrontation with Sayid. I was a little surprised he stuck with the group after Miles revealed that he had murdered Jacob. Did he really think he could lie his way out of that one? I was also rather surprised he continued to try. He ought to know when the jig is up.

Miles actually had a very important role in this episode. He’s the one who broke the fateful news to Ilana, in such a delightfully snarky manner - though I think she’d suspected it for some time - and he’s also the one who delivered the revelation that seems to have shaken Ben to the core. Jacob did care. “Right up until the second the knife went through his heart, he was hoping he was wrong about you.” Jacob, like Dumbledore with Draco, hoped that Ben would make a different decision. Miles also gave me one of the biggest laughs of the night by bringing up Nikki and Paolo’s diamonds and then proceeding to dig them up just as he’d hinted he would do. How did he know they were there? Did Sawyer confess it one time, or did Miles go through that graveyard and listen in on the dying moments of everyone buried there? If that’s the case, he’s got a lot of interesting information rattling around in his head right now. Also... Was Miles the real reason Ilana brought the ash with her? Ilana seems to have been debriefed on his special abilities. It also is starting to look like Miles won’t be joining Team Smokey after all.

The only thing in this episode I wasn’t crazy about was that it gave me a sinking suspicion about the direction they were taking Jacob in. But that too was gone by the conclusion. Here, we see almost everyone expressing some degree of frustration with Jacob. Ilana, that he didn’t let her know which Kwon she was supposed to be protecting. Jack, that he was watching him all those years. Ben. “I sacrificed everything for him, and he didn’t even care.” Richard... “I devoted my life, longer than you can possibly imagine, in service of a man who told me that everything was happening for a reason, that he had a plan and that when the time was right, he would share it with me.” Poor, poor Richard. I think we can safely say now that the Black Rock theory was right - that Richard arrived on that ship. For more than a century, he was the ultimate Man of Faith, and now that faith has been shattered. Jacob is dead, and he kept all sorts of secrets from him, and Richard extrapolates and decides the result of this is that his own life has been rendered meaningless.

I suppose it was silly to think that Richard’s agelessness might simply cease in the wake of Jacob’s death. After seeing him running around the jungle in a bloody panic three weeks ago, I must say he looks awfully good this week. All of his wounds seem to have healed. But his psychological wounds fester. It was so strange to hear serene Richard so shell-shocked and bitter. “Whatever he told you, don’t believe him.” So darkly funny to hear his one-word answer to Jack’s query. Richard has to go die. Like the crew of the Black Pearl, this former Black Rock passenger has been waiting for death for a long time.

We’ve seen many characters experience a crisis of faith. Hurley’s was off the Island, when he began receiving visits from the deceased and concluded he was crazy. He felt cursed, not blessed, just like Richard. But Hurley bounced back in a big way, demonstrated this week by his trying to trick Jack into wandering around the jungle to stall for time so they could avoid the Temple, as per Jacob’s wishes. (And how great was the adventure music in that scene? And the fact that Hurley and Richard finally got to interact? And that, just a few weeks after asking if Sayid was a zombie, Hurley got to ask if Richard is a cyborg?) Despite his frustrations, it appears that Jack is now a Man of Faith as well. He is taking big leaps this season, none bigger than waiting out the dynamite with Richard, who is already on the road to restored faith.

Yes, Jacob has been far less than forthcoming with his plans. But that doesn’t make him the bad guy. And I have to laugh, because you know who Jacob reminded me of in this episode at every turn? Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse. Yes, I feel that most of the complaints lodged against Jacob, particularly by Richard, are attacks Darlton have experienced and anticipated with renewed force once the show started up again. Like Richard, we feel we have faithfully stuck with this show for years and our reward might be nothing but confusion and unanswered questions. We’re afraid that Darlton will let us down. But I believe in the writers, and I believe in Jacob. All will be well. As Sideways Ben said, “It was on this island that everything changed, that everything finally became clear.”

Ben began this episode running for his life, convinced that Sayid was out to kill him, and Smokey too. At this point, what does he want? Just life, I think. And a shot at redemption. He falls back in with the good guys, figuring he’s safer with them. He’s so unanchored and afraid that he remains with them even when his role in Jacob’s death is revealed. Ben does not want to be alone. He seems like such a frightened, abandoned child in this episode, just longing for someone to accept him.

Ilana is one tough cookie, and no doubt she could take Trigger-Happy Cortez in hand-to-hand combat. But she is no AnaLucia (though, lest I come down too hard on her, it occurs to me that AnaLucia did save Ben’s life). She is a much deeper character, with depth of feeling to balance out her brash physical style, with a shrouded history that could possibly go as far back as Richard’s. There’s something very special about her relationship with Jacob, and I wouldn’t be shocked to learn that she, too, had been granted an impressive span of years. Which could explain in part why it felt like Ben - who, like the boy wizard his bespectacled younger self rather resembles, has spent his life desperately longing for the mother he never knew - seemed to embrace her, at the end, as a mother figure. (I think it’s interesting that in Sideways World, Ben always wears his glasses. If I’m going to compare him to Harry, I might suggest that his glasses are symbolic of his better nature, his ability to see clearly what is truly important.) There was certainly something very maternal in her response, with all the conviction of true understanding and not, I think, a simple “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer” mentality. “I’ll have you,” she said. And though he killed Jacob, I believe she meant it. She has brought him back into the fold, and at last he can begin to find the acceptance that has so eluded him.

I startled everyone in the room when Ben uncovered a copy of The Chosen back at the beach. After chuckling appreciatively over Ben’s disgusted response to the porn magazine, I couldn’t help letting out a whoop, because only the day before, after watching A Serious Man, I’d told Dad that he really ought to read that book. There’s so much synchronicity in my life right now it’s scary. But it does seem a very fitting text. Reuven (who wears glasses) has a brilliant mind for mathematics, but he longs to be a rabbi. Danny is expected to become a rabbi but longs to expand his mind in other directions. Like youthful John, the chosen one rejects the call; like Ben, the other yearns to feel chosen himself. Jacob, like Danny’s father, maintains distance from his children and keeps frustrating silence; though it seems a cruel path, he has valid reasons for doing so. Other relevant elements in the novel: a complete obsession with numbers and a baseball game precipitating a life-changing incident.

I also couldn’t help thinking of The Princess Bride during the scene in which Miles offers Ben food. He peeks down at Ben and notes that it seems to be pretty slow going; Ben responds he’s not in much of a hurry. Seemed very Cliffs of Insanity to me, with Inigo impatiently waiting for Westley to reach the top so he can get on with the duel and Westley not feeling too inclined to speed things up, as Inigo is simply waiting around to kill him. Not that I think Miles is all that impatient; I imagine he’s fine with sticking around for a while, as that gives him time to dig up the diamonds. (Also, that’s a really cool shovel Ben was using, and it reminded me very much of the one featured on American Inventor a couple years ago. Made out of a tree, I suppose?)

Ben’s “forgive me” was taken out of context; what he really said was, “I don’t expect you to forgive me, because I can never forgive myself.” But it was as good as begging for forgiveness. When Smokey turned up, dangling leadership in front of Ben much as the White Witch did to Edmund, I worried. I thought, “Oh, please, Ben, don’t go with him! And for goodness’ sake, don’t kill Ilana!” Though his fluid drop-the-shovel, leap-out-of-the-ditch-and-run maneuver made me laugh, it was so brilliantly executed. But execution was not on the menu for today. Ben pointed the gun but never intended to use it. He didn’t want to kill Ilana. All he wanted was to live. And when he realized that she was giving him a second chance, he meekly followed along, profoundly moved and grateful to be wanted at last.

Back in season two, Sun and Jin were the first on the beach to reach out to AnaLucia, aside from Jack, who had previous experience with her. They brought her some fish and a reason to hope that although she killed one of their own, there might be a future for her here. In this episode, when Ben returns to the beach, he first approaches Sun, and she accepts his offer of help. The moment when Ben lays his gun down against her hut got me all choked up both times I watched. All the brilliance of this episode distilled into one tiny, breathtakingly beautiful moment.

Meanwhile, Frank is his usual caustic self, and he repeats Smokey-John’s sarcastic season-five assertion that Ben really makes friends easily. He also muses about how different his life would’ve been if he’d flown 815, just as Roger muses about how different his life would’ve been if they’d stayed on the Island. These conversations made me briefly doubt my Sideways = Future Theory, but by the end of the episode I was on board with it again. We’ll see. Ben didn’t sacrifice his life this week, but he did sacrifice power (and to the accompaniment of such gorgeous music in both scenes). Life may come later; if it does, I‘ll be ready.

Next week’s episode is called Recon, which leads me to believe that it will be a Sawyer episode. It’s about gathering information - reconnaissance - so he can pull his biggest con yet - re-con. When the song in the preview began to play, I shrieked in delight, as for a brief moment I thought it was Bridge Over Troubled Water. After I’d shattered everyone’s eardrums, I realized it was a different song entirely. The song - not one I think I know - is a Leonard Cohen song called Bird on the Wire. I’ve now read the lyrics, and there are so many LOST resonances that I think I’ll need to devote a post just to that. But funny to hear that when it was another Cohen song, Hallelujah, that prompted my reflection on Alex that turned out to be strangely prescient. Finally, there‘s this: Bird on the Wire is all about redemption. And it’s coming for all of them. At this point, after the perfection that was this episode, I feel like there is no possible way that the last season of LOST can let me down.

Alexandra (Hallelujah, Leonard Cohen)

"She's not my daughter.  I stole her as a baby from an insane woman. She's a pawn, nothing more. She means nothing to me. I'm not coming out of this house. So if you want to kill her, go ahead and do it - "
- Ben, The Shape of Things to Come


Ben has always been one of the most fascinating characters on LOST, and his tale seems continually marked by tragedy, some of it brought upon himself. It's hard to say how much blame he deserves for the death of his adopted daughter in the devastating season four episode The Shape of Things to Come, but it's clearly something that's been eating away at him. Season six's The Substitute gives me reason to hope that Sideways Ben, purified by his horrific experience on the Island and his remorseful reponse to his complicity, is atoning for his failure to protect his daughter by spending his days in a position where he can guide teens like her to better lives. Here's a reflection to the tune of Rufus Wainwright's version of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah.

Alexandra

It hadn’t been an easy year.
The little girl who you held so dear
Had made it pretty clear she couldn’t stand ya.
Oh, teenage love’s a tricky thing.
You only sought to clip her wings
To fling away a threat to Alexandra.

Alexandra, Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.

Defiantly, you had made her yours.
You snatched her from the out-of-doors
Though wars were fought and Widmore would’ve banned ya.
And yet it was your choice to spare
The child and leave her mother there,
Despairingly imploring, “Alexandra!”

Alexandra, Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.

Steering her to the secret spot,
You sought some solace in the thought
She’d not be caught by those who would demand ya.
But Keamy brought her back home to you.
Now your mind games wouldn’t do,
And you knew that you had lost your Alexandra.

Alexandra, Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.

The mercenary called your bluff.
You loved her, Ben, but not enough.
You gruffly said the isle would reprimand ya.
In the dead of night, your darkest dreams
Were littered with the tortured screams
Of Keamy’s lily victim, Alexandra.

Alexandra, Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.

You were traumatized at first
And, haunted by your last outburst,
You cursed the man accustomed to command ya.
But the blameless blood that was freely spilt
Then forged in you a transforming guilt,
So you built a life to honor Alexandra.

Alexandra, Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.