Thursday, August 30, 2007

The LOST Cast Expands

What I really should be doing is ignoring all of the LOST-related articles that come down the pike, but I probably won't.  This hiatus is terribly tedious; I need to liven it up with some news...  So there are five new actors who have been cast as recurring players, and I've never heard of any of them, and Damon and Carlton are so unwilling to divulge concrete details that I really don't feel as though I've gotten much of a spoiler at all, and that's good.  Just means, I guess, that I will find the newbies vaguely familiar when they pop up.  If I remember their faces in five months, which is a big if. 

She Wore the Ring He Left Her (She Wore a Yellow Ribbon, Traditional)

For my 50th LOST-related poem, yet another one about Charlie, this time to the tune of She Wore a Yellow Ribbon. Maybe this will get it out of my system...

She Wore The Ring He Left Her

'Round her neck, she wore the ring he left her,
An heirloom decorated with a "DS" on its face.
And if you asked her why the heck she wore it,
She'd tell you that she wore it to recall Charlie Pace.

Charlie Pace, Charlie Pace.
She wore it to remember Charlie Pace.
'Round her neck, she wore the ring he left her.
She'd tell you that she wore it to recall Charlie Pace.

Lavishly, she gobbled peanut butter.
She kept a dozen jars inside the cupboard just in case.
And if you asked her why the heck she ate it,
She'd tell you that she ate it to recall Charlie Pace.

Charlie Pace, Charlie Pace.
She ate it to remember Charlie Pace.
Lavishly, she gobbled peanut butter.
She'd tell you that she ate it to recall Charlie Pace.

Liam, Claire and Aaron got together.
He realized his brother hadn't left without a trace.
And if you asked him why the heck he met them,
He'd tell you that he met them to recall Charlie Pace.

Charlie Pace, Charlie Pace.
He met them to remember Charlie Pace.
Liam, Claire and Aaron got together.
He'd tell you that he met them to recall Charlie Pace.

Driveshaft soon released a stunning single
Once written by the partner Liam never could replace.
And if you asked him why the heck he made it,
He'd tell you that he made it to recall Charlie Pace.

Charlie Pace, Charlie Pace.
He made it to remember Charlie Pace.
Driveshaft soon released a stunning single.
He'd tell you that he made it to recall Charlie Pace.

Growing Aaron plucked upon guitar strings.
The instrument was awkward but he fingered it with grace.
And if you asked him why the heck he played it,
He'd tell you that he played it to recall Charlie Pace.

Charlie Pace, Charlie Pace.
He played it to remember Charlie Pace.
Growing Aaron plucked upon guitar strings.
He'd tell you that he played it to recall Charlie Pace.


Thursday, August 16, 2007

What a Disappointment...

I was browsing around imdb yesterday, and I decided to pop over to Dom's profile and see if he had any new projects coming down the pike that I hadn't gotten wind of yet.  He hadn't; it was still just I Sell the Dead, but at least that was something to look forward to, and I was encouraged by the 2007 date on it.  But a peek at one of the message boards unearthed two unsettling facts. 
1) The movie probably won't be coming out until mid-2008.  (And that's probably in England; who knows when it will get here?)  2) There was an implication that this was a horror movie.
"A horror movie?" I said aloud, puzzled.  Nathan reprimanded me for my naivete.  "It's called I Sell the Dead!" he said.  "What did you think it was going to be about?!"  I informed him that it was about a grave robber reflecting on his life of crime, and I saw no reason why horror had to come into it at all.  "He's a grave robber," Nathan pressed on.  "Shouldn't that tell you something?" No, I decided, it should not.  "It's about people who are already dead!" I argued.  "And not moving around!"
And then, in desperation to prove that someone on the message boards just didn't know what he was talking about, I browsed through the keywords.  The word "supernatural" gave me pause.  "Uh-oh," I said.  "This could be problematic."  Then I clicked for the extended list, and a moment later I let loose a wail of dismay.  "What?" asked Nathan.  But I couldn't answer, so struck with a sudden fit of hysterical, tear-inducing laughter I was rendered mute until I finally managed to gasp out "zombie violence". 
Oh, Dom.  Following in Billy's footsteps, are we?  Chucky?  Zombies?  Really, you're not being too kind to us squeamish fans.  Nonetheless, a screenful of zombies may be an appropriate price to pay for an hour and a half or so of Dom...

Leaving This Island (The Greening of Belfast, Michael Card)

Anyone who has read several of my LOST-related posts from the past three months will probably have the idea I'm a bit hung up on Charlie's death. It's been mentioned in half a dozen poems before this one, and I keep telling myself that's it, but then I wind up deciding there's still more to say...

This reflection, to the tune of Michael Card's The Greening of Belfast, finds Charlie alone, lost in thought as he strums his guitar a short time before he leaves with Desmond in Greatest Hits.

Leaving This Island

With the soft, soft sand
Shifting under my feet,
I retreat to the solace of song.
I must strive to shield
Little Aaron and Claire
From the terror that's loomed for so long.

Claire will be leaving this island.
I think I'm prepared now although it's unfair.
My love is leaving this island,
But when rescue comes, I wish I could be there.
When rescue comes, I wish I could be there.

It gives me chills
Looking on her face,
Aware that my life's almost done,
For my will to live
Tortures me as I stare
At those eyes that shine bright as the sun.

But I'll dry my tears
And I'll say my prayers
As I leave her behind on the shore,
And I'll rest in peace
Knowing I have released
The one I love most from this war.

Claire will be leaving this island.
I think I'm prepared now although it's unfair.
My love is leaving this island,
But when rescue comes, I wish I could be there.

When rescue comes, I wish I could be there,
But Claire will be leaving this island.

Greening of Belfast

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Why Did You Shoot Me? (Why Don't You Write Me?, Paul Simon)

I'd say John has a pretty good reason to be ticked off with Ben. Here's a little rant to the tune of Why Don't You Write Me?

Why Did You Shoot Me?

Why did you shoot me
Way deep in the jungle
Because I could hear him?
Why did you think that your power would shrink
With me near him?
Ben Linus,
Why did you shoot?

Ben, what went wrong?
Once I thought I was your buddy.
You double-crossed me, and now I am lost
And all bloody.

Tell me why! (Why, why?)
Tell me why! (Why, why?)

Why did you shoot me?
You tried to recruit me,
And I would have joined you.
Now there's no way
Since you're spurning fair play.
I'm annoyed by you,
Ben Linus...

Do you feel remorse for what you've done?
Sending your guys to kidnap Kate and Sun.
Making Michael kill those girls.
Taking Cooper for a ride
So I'd be a party to patricide.
Ben, you ought to be
Investing in some major psychotherapy.
Why did you shoot me?
Why did you shoot me?
Why did you shoot me?
Why did you shoot me?
Why did you shoot me?
Why did you shoot me?
Why did you shoot me?


Monday, August 13, 2007

Bear! (Hair, Galt MacDermot / James Rado / Gerome Ragni)

How many times have we seen a polar bear on LOST now? And how many polar bears has it actually been? Two? Three? One bear possessing eerie Mikhail-like indestructibility? That's the theory I have Sawyer posit in this silly parody of the Cowsills' Hair.

Bear!

Sawyer: You asked me why.
Why? I don't wanna die.
That bear was in my sighty-sight sight.
He gave me a fright.
That bear has died, you know.
The tough task was mine;
I made him go!
He won't come back. He's dead.
Guess we'll be well fed!
Darlin'...

Look! I just shot a bear.
Big, burly white bear.
Growlin', scowlin',
Furry, in a hurry.

Would have said, "Beware!" (Bear!)
If he'd been there longer. (Bear!)
Still, I have stopped trauma;
Why treat me like a baddie?

(Bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)
Shoot 'im, boot 'im,
'Long as I can mute 'im,
That bear.

Walt: I made a dash for the trees.
I am begging you, please
Be speedy in seizing that bear.
I'd get on my knees
And pray, but I'd better freeze
And skimp on words
And hope the birds
Make a clatter
That will shatter
The attention of that...

(Bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)
Stab 'im, jab 'im,
Just keep him from grabbin'!
That bear...

Sawyer: I want him long gone, not returning,
Musty, dusty, beaten, eaten.
Hope that he's forever severed.
Now his cage is sparking rages.
Think I'd better risk it,
Fishin' for his biscuit
Though he's bigger than a yeti
And his jaws and claws are like machetes.

Eko: Oh, say can you see his eyes?
If you can, then your life is short.

Sawyer: He's still here.
Don't know where.
Darn that bear! Darn that bear! I stopped him myself!
How can his paws keep runnin' when I stopped him myself?

Oh, why is a polar bear,
Non-tropical bear,
Even grievin' us? He should be leavin'.

How does a regular fella dare (Bear!)
Face a beast that's stronger? (Bear!)
That may be more drama
Than I would deal with gladly.
(Bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)
Shoot 'im, boot 'im,
'Long as I can mute 'im,
That... (bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)
Shoot 'im, boot 'im,
'Long as I can mute 'im,
That... (bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear!)


Saturday, August 11, 2007

I'm Lost Without...

This past Christmas, I received a shirt that reads "I'M LOST WITHOUT CHARLIE". Turns out it was prophetic, since Charlie's run on the show actually ended with the conclusion of the third season. He's one of my four absolutely favorite characters. Luckily, the other three remain, but meanwhile other folks have been getting whacked left and right. It troubles me. Hence, this little rant...

I'm Lost Without...

I'm lost without Charlie, musician and hero.
I'm lost without Shannon and Boone.
I'm lost without Eko, whose death by Old Smokey
Seemed random and happened too soon.

I'm lost without gun-toting Ana Lucia.
I'm lost without Nikki the ditz.
I'm lost without Paolo, Joanna and Leslie,
Who got himself blown into bits.

I'm lost without Libby, collateral damage
And Hurley's best shot at romance.
I'm lost without dangerous Bonnie and Greta,
Who never had much of a chance.

I'm lost without Ryan, Colleen and Naomi.
I'm lost without Donald and Scott.
I'm lost without Roger and Kelvin, the putzes
Whose passing propelled the whole plot.

I'm lost without Danny, irascible hothead.
I'm lost without friendly foe Tom.
I'm lost without Goodwin, that overgrown boy scout.
I'm lost without vile Ethan Rom.

I'm lost without Edward, the dude with the shrapnel.
I'm lost without Cooper and Klugh.
I'm lost without Pilot-Whose-Name-Wasn't-Mentioned
And maybe without Mikhail too.

O Damon and Carlton, desist with the slaughter!
Have mercy! Consider the cost
Of killing each character I've come to love, lest
At last I am lost without LOST!

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

I Never (El Condor Pasa, Traditional / Paul Simon)

Here's a silly little ditty about Sawyer and Kate's season-two game of "I Never" to the tune of Simon and Garfunkel's El Condor Pasa.

I Never

Sawyer: I've never gotten near a bridal veil.
No, not me.
You, maybe,
But never me.

Kate: I never was obsessed with ancient mail.
No, not me.
Sawyer, you may be,
But never me.

I'd play "I Never" here all day
And debunk this cocky hunk.


Sawyer: I'm in no hurry to be found
As long as Freckles is around.
Glad she's around.


Kate: I never blamed my problems on a boar.
No, not me.
You, maybe,
But never me.

Sawyer: I never ever fell in love before.
No, not me.
Until now, you see;
You've smitten me.



Tuesday, August 7, 2007

My Younger Brother's Cross (Lover's Cross, Jim Croce)

One of my favorite episodes of LOST is The 23rd Psalm, which so tragically explores Eko's past. Here's a little reflection by him set in that episode to the tune of Jim Croce's Lover's Cross.

My Younger Brother's Cross

How I wish this had not happened!
Poor Yemi, killed for my crime.
In the plane that I envisioned,
I have found what I had feared to find,
For if it seemed that he might be a martyr,
I would never acknowledge the clue,
But, Charlie, since I see my younger brother's cross, I do.

I am sure this is confusing to you.
You stare; your eyes are wide.
Yemi risked his life on my behalf,
And it is my fault that he died.
I guess that he had the nerve of a martyr,
Possessing courage that I never knew.
Now, Charlie, since I see my younger brother's cross, I do.

Perhaps he will hear my yearning
And know I have pledged to change.
In pain, I continue learning
That this business of life is a dangerous game.

Charlie, you have helped me find my brother.
You have shown me to this spot,
So stand beside me as I cry,
Exposing my grief to God.
I suspected he might be a martyr before,
But I had to have proof it was true,
So, Charlie, since I see my younger brother's cross, I do.

(repeat bridge and chorus)


I Will Not Avenge Boone (Lasso the Moon, Billy Simon / Lowell Alexander)

Here's a refusal from Sayid to Shannon to kill John Locke, to the tune of the lullaby Lasso the Moon. Sayid comes across as pretty rough sometimes, but this is one of those instances that demonstrates the strength of his principles...

I Will Not Avenge Boone

If he were my step-brother,
Despair might turn my love
Into a blinding rage. However,
Think before the actions meant
To banish emptiness
Instead impair your soul forever.

Though Boone died,
That seems accidental to me.
His death was unfair, and yet
Killing John is too.
I will not avenge Boone for you.

Shannon, if John Locke were here,
He'd show you his remorse.
You would not doubt how much he's mourning.
Trust me when I say he's been
Agonizing most
Sincerely. I believe his story.

Though Boone died,
That seems accidental to me.
His death was unfair, and yet
Killing John is too.
I will not avenge Boone for you.

Lasso the Moon

Walkie Man (Rocket Man, Elton John / Bernie Taupin)

Here's a mid-season two rumination by that trusty Other, Tom, to the tune of Rocket Man. I don't think he ever was too keen on hurting anybody, but he sure was a loyal sidekick...

Walkie Man

Some say I'm not too bright. All right,
I'm no genius next to Ben,
But I'm glad I'm the guy he can trust again.
There's back-and-forth so much; there's so much strife.
So many in this place
Are quick to fuss and fight.

And I think it's gonna be a long, long time
Before I start to figure out the rhyme
And reason that's behind the things Ben does.
That's fine because
I'm the walkie man.
Walkie man,
Giving Ben the news in undertones. (repeat)

When I disguised my face and snatched that kid,
I played the part so well,
They don't know I care. They hate me. What I did
Is something even I don't understand;
I only listen when Ben speaks.
The walkie man, the walkie man.

And I think it's gonna be a long, long time
Before I start to figure out the rhyme
And reason that's behind the things Ben does.
That's fine because
I'm the walkie man.
Walkie man,
Giving Ben the news in undertones... (repeat)

And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time... (fade out)


Monday, August 6, 2007

Finding Vincent

One of the nice things about LOST is that just because a character dies, that's no guarantee we won't see them again. In fact, it's often a pretty good bet that we will. Shannon's been gone for almost two seasons now, but we've seen her since, and I wouldn't be too surprised if she pops up again before too long. Anyway, here's a little protest she launches against Sayid when he tries to stop her from going after Vincent early in the second season.

Finding Vincent

Nobody understands me
Except for that kid, Walt.
His dog is in my hands, see?
He's gone, and it's my fault.

I haven't been too useful
Since we first landed here.
I'm whiny and excuseful;
My purpose isn't clear.

Sayid, Boone died a hero.
I can't just sit around.
I'll feel like such a zero
If Vincent isn't found.

So please spare me your pity
And condescending speech.
I'm more than just a pretty
Girl tanning on a beach.

Come with me; I won't protest.
But you can't make me stay.
I'll certainly get no rest
While Vincent is away.

My mind's a mess of worry.
Why did he have to roam?
For Walt, I have to hurry.
It's time to bring him home.

Not Penny's Boat

This has been a bad summer for me when it comes to beloved fictional characters. Before J. K. Rowling ripped my heart out again and again with Deathly Hallows, I was assaulted by the carnage in the LOST finale, which included the demise of Charlie as Desmond watched helplessly. Here's a reflection by Desmond shortly after the tragic event...

Not Penny's Boat

NOT PENNY'S BOAT, he wrote
In black ink on his palm,
His face so strangely calm
As water filled that room.
I'd shown him to his doom
While someone pulled my strings;
His thoughts on noble things,
He'd played his final note.

I watched him gently bend
Like barley in the breeze
And crumpled to my knees,
Aghast at what I'd done.
Her name shone like the sun
Upon my eager eyes
But brought not smiles but sighs
As I grieved for my friend.

Oh, Des, you were a fool,
I mutter savagely
As in my mind I see
His steady gaze reach mine.
In destiny's design,
I was the perfect pawn.
Now Charlie Pace is gone;
I know that life is cruel.

It seems I've killed them all.
I only sought to save
And possibly to pave
The path that led to Pen.
We'll never meet again
Unless I break this curse
That haunts me like a hearse.
The chance of that is small.

The words catch in my throat
As I repeat them now,
In torment over how
To break the news to Claire.
My love awaits somewhere,
But no reunion rears.
I shudder as fate sneers,
It isn't Penny's boat.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Not-So-Clever Fox

A note about last year's pre-Possibly-Best-Episode-Ever Entertainment Weekly.  By which I mean Live Together, Die Alone, which I really need to blog about at length because it's so fantastic.  I'm glad I didn't read it before getting caught up, though, because they spilled Desmond's reappearance before it happened, and it was much more satisfying, I think, to be shocked. 
But anyway, I had to laugh at the end of the main article:
[Says Lindelof,] "... If [people] can't get answers to mysteries in real life, they most definitely want answers on their TV sets on Wednesday nights.  And they deserve them."
What those answers will be remains to be seen.  Fox, at least, is willing to say what one of them won't be.  "Nobody is going to wake up on this show and mysteriously end up somewhere else."  Promise?  "That's a promise."
Told of Fox's pledge, Lindelof betrays a mischievous smirk.  "Well, then," he says, "I guess we're going to have to do that."
Ha!  Shows what you know, Fox!  Ah, Flashes Before Your Eyes, how I love you...