Friday, July 30, 2010

Please Come Home With Me (Feels Like Home, Randy Newman)

Claire: Look at me! This Island's made me crazy, I - I don't want Aaron to see me like this. I don't even know how to be a mother anymore.
Kate: Listen to me, none of us do. Not at first. But you're not alone. Let me help you. Come on, let's go.
- The End

Kate is more sympathetic to Claire than Sawyer is in season six.  Here's Kate in the finale to the tune of Feels Like Home, one of my dad's favorite songs at the moment.

Please Come Home With Me

Someone you despise tried to make you lose yourself,
Tried to make you lose yourself, but he’s gone.
Yes, Claire, you have a choice.  Just forget the past.
You can leave at last and reclaim your life.

I can tell how lonely your life has been.
To feel strong, you cling to that gun,
But it won’t bring what you’ve wanted since he first led you wrong.
I’m here so you can raise your son.

So please come home with me.  Oh, please come home with me.
You feel like you’re much too messed up to be a mom,
But please come home with me.  Oh, please come home with me.
I promised to help you get back where you belong.

We’ve made mistakes.  Hey, you think I'm clean?
But we try, then fail, then do right.
You look a fright; you could use some Maybelline.
Still, I believe you’ve seen through the dark to the light.

Well, do you know how much this moment means to me?
You don’t need that cradle or that hutch.
Though I have been the mother you were meant to be,
Your little boy deserves your love for him so much.

So please come home with me.  Oh, please come home with me.
You feel like you’re much too messed up to be a mom,
But please come home with me.  Oh, please come home with me.
I promised to help you get back where you belong.
I promised to help you get back where you belong.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Mr. Cluck's Keychain Review

You have to click through to Epinions to get a picture of this monstrosity.  Definitely not an authentic Mr. Cluck's Chicken Shack keychain.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Claire's Insane (You're So Vain, Carly Simon)

"Sayid's a zombie and Claire's nuts. She gave up her ticket when she tried to kill Kate. And I ain't gonna let that happen again."
- Sawyer, The Last Recruit

The Claire of season six is quite a bit different from the Claire the castaways came to know and love.  Here, Sawyer tries to convince Hurley that she's not worth bringing along in their great escape, to the tune of Carly Simon's You're So Vain.  (The above quote is from a conversation with Jack, but I figure his conversation with Hurley would have been similar...)

Claire’s Insane

She showed up with her rifle
And stitched up Jin in her creepy hut.
But then he flinched as she axed that Other guy. 
She got ‘im right in the gut.
Well, it’s only smart to fear her now
‘Cause she’s a gnarly nut.
Lounged here with Locke for too long, and she lost it.
Clearly, she lost it.

Yeah,
Claire’s insane
And horribly in need of a hairbrush.
She’s insane, (She’s insane),
And bringin’ her along would just scare us,
Scare us, scare us...

Well, we knew her several years ago.
Back then, she was so naive.
Oh, but now we are stuck with a crazy Claire
With homicide up her sleeve.
Now, I know you’re really big on love.
You’re eager to believe
People can change, but I’m not gonna chance it.
Not gonna chance it.

No,
Claire’s insane.
She hangs around with skeletal babies.
She’s insane.  (She’s insane!)
I wonder if that thing gave her rabies,
Rabies, rabies, rabies!

Think she can change?  Well, I’m not gonna chance it.
Not gonna chance it.

No,
Claire’s insane.
Apparently she’s also Jack’s sister.
She’s insane. (She’s insane!)
I guess it’s lucky he never kissed her,
Kissed her, kissed her!

Did you hear she went after Kate with a knife?
Sayid, he didn’t step in.
He could not be bothered with a threatened friend’s life.
I’d say the Dark Side is fixin’ to win.
Well, I know we’re runnin’ out of time,
And Hugo, we don’t need
A chick who’s unhinged or a kid-killin’ zombie,
Kid-killin’ zombie.

No,
Claire’s insane.
Yeah, those two gave their tickets up early.
She’s insane.  (Insane!)
We can’t succeed with someone so squirrelly,
Squirrelly, squirrelly, squirrelly!

Claire’s insane
And horribly in need of a hairbrush.
Claire’s insane
And horribly in need of a hairbrush.
Claire’s insane...

You're So Vain

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

We Wonder Who His Ex Is (Deep in the Heart of Texas, June Hershey / Don Swander)

After Lighthouse revealed that Jack had a son, there was a lot of speculation as to who David's mother might be.  Here's a little ditty about that to the tune of the cowboy song Deep in the Heart of Texas.

We Wonder Who His Ex Is

Although we’re glad that Jack’s a dad,
We wonder who his ex is.
She left the kid with Jack and hid.
We wonder who his ex is.

So let’s debate.  Could it be Kate?
We wonder who his ex is.
Or Ana Lu’s an option too.
We wonder who his ex is.

Will Sarah be the mom we see?
We wonder who his ex is.
Or better yet is Juliet.
We wonder who his ex is.

We have the names of lots of dames.
We wonder who his ex is.
Why won’t the show just let us know?
We wonder who his ex is.

Who-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo?


Deep in the Heart of Texas