MacCutcheon (Dublin O'Shea, Lonnie Donegan / Joe Brown)

"What you're not, is worthy of drinking my whiskey. How could you ever be worthy of my daughter?"
- Widmore, Flashes Before Your Eyes

The scene in Flashes Before Your Eyes in which Charles Widmore so thoroughly disses Desmond with some help from a 60-year-old bottle of scotch remains one of the most iconic in the series.  I'm still not entirely sure if Charles was as oblivious to Desmond's previous existence as he seemed in that scene, but here I'm going to assume that he was. Here's Charles to the tune of the Irish Rovers' Dublin O'Shea.

MacCutcheon

“Here’s a little drink, boy.  MacCutcheon’s the best.
Although you’re my guest, I have deemed you unworthy,
And if you’re too base for the scotch on my chest,
Then how could I hand you my daughter, you fool?”

He came to my office to look for a job,
But he seemed like a slob, just a slouch and a roustabout.
Still, I was willing to toss him a bob.
Then Desmond asked for my daughter.

“Here’s a little drink, boy.  MacCutcheon’s the best.
Although you’re my guest, I have deemed you unworthy,
And if you’re too base for the scotch on my chest,
Then how could I hand you my daughter, you fool?”

I spoke of a hero, the Navy man Mac,
And mentioned the plaques earned by Admiral Anderson.
Maybe I could’ve cut the poor lad some slack,
But he’d landed himself in hot water.

“Here’s a little drink, boy.  MacCutcheon’s the best.
Although you’re my guest, I have deemed you unworthy,
And if you’re too base for the scotch on my chest,
Then how could I hand you my daughter, you fool?”

He left in a flurry, full of anguish and shame,
And I hoped that his name wouldn’t come back to haunt me.
But Desmond, determined to earn my acclaim,
Turned himself to a consummate sailor.

“Here’s a little drink, boy.  MacCutcheon’s the best.
Although you’re my guest, I have deemed you unworthy,
And if you’re too base for the scotch on my chest,
Then how could I hand you my daughter, you fool?”

He got to the Island I lost long ago,
And he made the hatch blow with the turn of his key.
Then he married Penelope.  Galling, I know,
But I’ll no longer call him a failure.

“Here’s a little drink, boy.  MacCutcheon’s the best.
Although you’re my guest, I have deemed you unworthy,
And if you’re too base for the scotch on my chest,
Then how could I hand you my daughter, you fool?”

Dublin O'Shea

Widmore's Whiskey (Nancy Whiskey, Traditional)

Desmond: What kind of whiskey is that?
Charlie: It's, uh - it just says MacCutcheon.
Desmond: Alright then, let's have it!
- Flashes Before Your Eyes

In Flashes Before Your Eyes, Desmond wants to lay off the booze, but he'll make an exception for MacCutcheon whiskey. Here's a reflection by him to the tune of the Irish Rovers' Nancy Whiskey.

Widmore’s Whiskey

Whiskey, whiskey, Widmore’s whiskey.
Whiskey, whiskey, pass it down.
Whiskey, whiskey, Widmore’s whiskey.
Whiskey, whiskey, pass it down.

I was a sailor, a restless sailor.
I was a soldier, a silent monk…
Even tried to be a doctor.
I always wound up a raving drunk.

Is that whiskey, whiskey, Widmore’s whiskey?
Whiskey, whiskey, pass it down.
Whiskey, whiskey, Widmore’s whiskey.
Whiskey, whiskey, pass it down.

In an ancient monastery,
Hiding from my intended wife,
I imbibed the wine we bottled,
So I got sacked from monastic life.

Whiskey, whiskey, Widmore’s whiskey.
Whiskey, whiskey, pass it down.
Whiskey, whiskey, Widmore’s whiskey.
Whiskey, whiskey, pass it down.

As I was leaving, I met a woman.
Before that woman, I had no base.
She became my guiding vision.
Penny Widmore, my saving grace.

Whiskey, whiskey, Widmore’s whiskey.
Whiskey, whiskey, pass it down.
Whiskey, whiskey, Widmore’s whiskey.
Whiskey, whiskey, pass it down.

I went in to see her father,
A man of aristocracy.
He poured a bit of his prized MacCutcheon
Just to say it was too good for me.

Is that whiskey, whiskey, Widmore’s whiskey?
Whiskey, whiskey, pass it down.
Whiskey, whiskey, Widmore’s whiskey.
Whiskey, whiskey, pass it down.

I was a sailor, a restless sailor.
I drank so much that I thought I would drown.
I’m going sober, clean and sober,
But that’s MacCutcheon, so pass it down.

Whiskey, whiskey, Widmore’s whiskey.
Whiskey, whiskey, pass it down.
Whiskey, whiskey, Widmore’s whiskey.
Whiskey, whiskey, pass it down.
Whiskey, whiskey, Widmore’s whiskey.
Whiskey, whiskey, pass it down.

Nancy Whiskey

A Flash Before My Eyes (Same Old Lang Syne, Dan Fogelberg)

It's Desmond time again, from the same episode as before. Here, he's grumbling to himself about his recent experience following an attempt by Charlie to find out what he's been up to. To the tune of Dan Fogelberg's Same Old Lang Syne.

A Flash Before My Eyes

I'm sorry, brother; you don't want to know -
And if you knew, you'd not believe -
What I have felt, the things I've heard and viewed,
All the insights I've received...

I struggled to enlighten John at first
And said his plan was suicide.
But when that failed, I made the whole hatch burst,
Hoping Kelvin hadn't lied.

With crimson droplets drying on my hand,
I woke bewildered on the floor,
Beholding Penny, who I cherish
And I had feared I'd see no more.

Still dazed and wondering if it was true,
I sought her father for a chat
To speak the words I hadn't dared before,
But he pounded my dreams flat.

He drank a toast to privilege,
So icy and high-brow,
As his derision drove me to the edge.
Could I defy him now?

Armed with a second chance, I wouldn't let
The moment pass. I had to try.
Forget her father! I would make a stand
With the best ring I could buy.

Yes, I intended to propose to her,
But in another flash I knew
That I must leave her, though it tore
My tarnished heart and soul in two.

That creepy woman from the jewelry store
Declared to me while my head swirled
That hurting Penny was my destiny
And I had to save the world.

He drank a toast to privilege,
So icy and high-brow,
As his derision drove me to the edge.
Could I defy him now?

He drank a toast to privilege;
I stammered in surprise,
Reliving my abasement in
A flash before my eyes.

I sadly stumbled to the pub that night,
Reviewing my distressing day.
Was it self-sacrifice or just self-doubt?
Did it need to end that way?

Was I heroic or was I a fool?
I contemplated it, and then
I opened up my eyes and I was on
This island once again.

For Charlie (For Baby (For Bobbie), John Denver)

I was so busy composing reviews last month, I never got around to penning any parodies. Now that the fervor is over, I thought I'd break my unintended fast with a subject I've been meaning to write on for a month and a half: Desmond David Hume, the wild-eyed, suddenly psychic Scot who's become such an intriguing part of LOST's third season. It's set to Peter Paul and Mary's version of John Denver's For Baby (For Bobbie); the song has been running through my head since I listened to it yesterday, and I figure the gentle tone is exactly what's needed for such a grim moment, when Desmond comes clean to Charlie about his disturbing psychic flashes.

Gotta feel bad for the guy; he tries to distance himself from everyone, yet he's bound to Charlie through this strange ability that makes him the only one who can serve as his protector. He cares about Charlie whether he wants to or not, and though he doesn't believe he can avert calamity for long, he knocks himself out trying to prolong the pipsqueak's life as long as possible. Good ol' Dez...

For Charlie

I witnessed the rain when you died.
I saw you lie lifeless upon the sand.
I know it will bring you pain to understand
The universe has made you a marked man.

And so, brother, you have my sympathy.
Destiny has doomed you in your prime.
Despite what I do, you're gonna die.
You're running out of time.

I saved Claire so you wouldn't drown.
These misty visions sear my mind's eye.
I care for you, so my sorrow is profound,
But I cannot comfort you without lies.

Do you still think it's wrong that I say "No"
When you ask for what's on my mind?
Despite what I do, you're gonna die.
You're running out of time.

I witnessed the rain when you died.
I saw you lie lifeless upon the sand.
I know it will bring you pain to understand
The universe has made you a marked man.

And so, brother, you have my sympathy.
Destiny has doomed you in your prime.
Despite what I do, you're gonna die.
You're running out of time.

Dizzy Dez Dispenses Doom

So LOST... So amazing. And strange. I figured from the first that it was another Desmond flashback, but then I was thinking, "Hmmm. Taking a long time to get to the flashback." And then I was thinking, "Hmmm. Taking a long time to get back to the island." Meanwhile, in Edinboro, Nathan's head exploded, and his uninitiated roomie's head exploded moreso. This is such a violent show.
How cute are Charlie and Hurley in this episode? They're so buddy-buddy, and getting Dezzy drunk and singing bawdy pub songs with him... and stealing my nickname for him... Priceless! The Scot and the Brit have gotten together, and Hurley can be Sam... That just leaves Frodo. Frodo, where are you? Actually, aside from the accent Dezzy's more like Frodo than Pippin. He's the one who has to turn the key and save the world. He's the tortured soul who couldn't go back to the life he had before even if by some miracle circumstances allowed it. Dezzy is haunted by destiny. Talk about predestination!
I don't know just what to make of the extended flashback. Did he go back in time? Did he flash forward? Was it all a dream? It seems like he actually relived those days after he turned the key, and somehow getting knocked out in the bar brought him back to the island. Very, very strange. Smarter people than me will make much more sense of this episode. But whether or not I understood it, I loved it. I loved the Dezzy overload, during which I observed that clean-shaven Dez looks an awful lot like Dustin Hoffman. And the poor guy is so confused... Just as confused as we are! (Though not so confused, I think, that we needed that condescending re-cap bringing us up to speed at the end. What, they thought we forgot everything that happened half an hour ago?)
When I was discussing the show with Nathan on Sunday, I predicted that the first words out of Desmond's mouth would be something depressing. Actually, I forget now what his first words were. But he's such a Debbie Downer; half of what he says is depressing. The campfire scene was so great because we got to see him smiling, laughing, just grinning his heart out as if he hadn't a care in the world. And twas loverly indeed to hear them singing together...
I wonder if that game actually happened. Ben mentioned the Red Sox, and certainly that was a big deal, but most of us Yankees wouldn't know beans about some soccer match in the UK; maybe that was the equivalent. Maybe not though. Seemed like much smaller potatoes, and if it was such a famous game, that probably would have been giving away too much too fast. Or would it? We know you haven't lost it, Crazy-Eyes. You're just as sane as you've ever been. Heh.
Creepy Jewelry Lady was the housekeeper from The Others. Is she also one of The Others? Ha! She certainly is in the know. And she ruined Desmond's shot at getting things right, because evidently bliss on a personal level for him equals cataclysm on a cosmic level. Poor Dez. I love you more each day.
While talking to Nathan after the show, I had the revelation that Charlie's song was a premonition. I recognized the song at once - Wonderwall, pretty popular when I was in high school. But the significance didn't hit me until later. "You're gonna be the one that saves me." Yes, indeed, Desmond the savior, and from the Christ-like beard to the outstretched arms as he lies naked on the forest floor, I know they're pummeling us with visual references to that effect. Dez is a mystic, and he's a reluctant messiah. What the religious implications in all this are I'm not sure, but they're at least getting the wheels turning, and that's something. Dezzy's such a doomsayer; we've got John Locke and John Calvin. It will be interesting to see how their interaction progresses.
Anyway, to Charlie. The universe says, "Your number's up." I say, Lame! And yet, if Charlie's survival means the implosion of the universe... Well, as Dezzy said tonight and I've said before, "You're a good man, Charlie," but I'm afraid it's sayonara. It can't be that simple, though. It's turning into Smallville. Are our destinies written in stone, or can we change them? Can Charlie evade certain death? Can Ben embrace his inner light? It all ties together. But seriously. If they kill off Charlie, perhaps Erin needs to have a little chat with the Universe...
Blogs after midnight are ill-advised. I shall retire before my loopiness progresses further. Happy Valentine's Day!