Little Ben (Run For Your Life, John Lennon / Paul McCartney)

Little Ben: I really hate it here.  If I let you out... will you take me with you, to your people?

Sayid: Yes, Ben, I will.  That's why I'm here.
- He's Our You

I've been trying to find my way back into filking, and the other day, I heard the Beatles' Run For Your Life for the first time.  It got stuck so firmly in my head that it became my natural starting point.  Here's Sayid coaxing Little Ben into trusting him in season five; the words all seem soothing, but there's a sinister undertone as he has ulterior motives.  

Little Ben

Well, your father’s in your head, Little Ben.

He’s a hard and unfeeling man.

Ignore the things he said, Little Ben.

Now’s the time to take a stand.

You haven’t much of a life with this clan, Little Ben.

I’m the key to your plan, Little Ben.

Put your future in the hands

Of a friend, Little Ben.

Well, I admit, at first I wondered why

I ended up here to be confined.

But purpose now has filled my mind.

How could I have been so blind?

You haven’t much of a life with this clan, Little Ben.

I’m the key to your plan, Little Ben.

Put your future in the hands

Of a friend, Little Ben.

Will your father squirm,

Or will he write you off for dead?

You may never learn;

You’ll find a Hostile home instead.

You haven’t much of a life with this clan, Little Ben.

I’m the key to your plan, Little Ben.

Put your future in the hands

Of a friend, Little Ben.

Your father’s in your head, Little Ben,

He’s a hard and unfeeling man.

Ignore the things he said, Little Ben.

Now’s the time to take a stand.

You haven’t much of a life with this clan, Little Ben.

I’m the key to your plan, Little Ben.

Put your future in the hands

Of a friend, Little Ben.

Little Ben, Little Ben, Little Ben…

I've Got No Faith (I've Got No Strings, Leigh Harline / Ned Washington)

Jack: Don't. It's not real. Look, you want to push the button, you do it yourself.
Locke: If it's not real, then what are you doing here, Jack? Why did you come back? - Orientation

Here's a song involving John and Jack's argument down in the hatch at the end of Orientation, to the tune of Pinocchio's I've Got No Strings.  Jack finally gives in, but real faith doesn't come until much later... 


I’ve Got No Faith

Jack: I’ve got no faith in destiny.
I only trust what I can see.
You have faith, but luckily,
There is no faith in me.
   
Desmond was clearly cracked.
Nothing’s gonna happen, John.
This hatch would stay intact
Even if we all were gone.

John: You’ve got no faith?  Then tell me, Jack,
Why did you bother coming back?
Trust the film.  This job’s for two.
I know there’s faith in you.

Sayid: He has no faith, so let him be.
This argument is boring me.
Step aside, and I will do
What Jack refuses to.

Kate: You have no faith.  I’m with you there.
But this is giving me a scare.
Just in case the tape is true,
I’d push if I were you.

Jack: John, you’re a silly sheep.
Desmond didn’t have a clue.
John: Why won’t you take the leap? 
I believe, but I need you.

Alarm: BEEP! BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!

Jack: (pushes button) There’s still no faith in me!

The Distress Call (Feuilles-Oh / Do Space Men Pass Dead Souls On Their Way to the Moon, Traditional / J. S. Bach / Linda Grossman)

"Si qui que ce soit puisse entendre ceci, ils sont morts. Veuillez nous aider. Je vais essayer d'aller jusqu'au Rocher Noir. Il les a tués. Il les a tués tous."
- Danielle, Pilot, Part 2

Here's my best attempt at turning the radio transmission into a song. I changed it as little as possible; I hope it still makes sense. Here's the end of the pilot episode, to the tune of Art Garfunkel's Feuilles-Oh / Do Space Men Pass Dead Souls On Their Way to the Moon?

The Distress Call

Danielle: Si qui que puisse entendre,
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.
Si qui que puisse entendre,
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.

Veuillez nous aider.
Il les a tués.
Ils sont morts.
Vuillez nous aider.
Il les a tués.
Je vais essayer
D'aller à Rocher Noir.
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.

Si qui que puisse entendre,
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.
Si qui que puisse entendre,
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.

Veuillez nous aider.
Il les a tués.
Ils sont morts.
Vuillez nous aider.
Il les a tués.
Je vais essayer
D'aller à Rocher Noir.
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.

Sayid: It’s been running for 16 years.
Boone: Someone else? Stranded here?
Sayid: Yes, this was a cry for help.
Sawyer: If someone saved her, then why’s it still play?
Charlie: Uh... Hey, guys, where are we?
This is no normal place.

Danielle: Veuillez nous aider.
Il les a tués.
Ils sont morts.
Vuillez nous aider.
Il les a tués.
Je vais essayer
D'aller à Rocher Noir.
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.

Choice in an Underwater Cell (Poem on an Underground Wall, Paul Simon)

The Candidate is one of the most devastating episodes LOST has ever offered, yet amidst the shock and horror of the deaths that swiftly followed each other late in the episode, I felt uplifted by Sayid's decision to go out in a literal blaze of sacrificial glory.  Here's a reflection on that to the tune of Simon and Garfunkel's A Poem on an Underground Wall.  (The song itself starts at about 2:30, but if you've never heard Art's colorful introductory anecdote, it's well worth a listen.)

Choice in an Underwater Cell

The timer is running out,
A consequence of Sawyer’s doubt.
There‘s no time now for hesitation.
Sayid knows his friends‘ salvation
Depends upon his actions.

His tragic eyes, lit at last,
Return to Jack before the blast.
He divulges Smokey’s secret:
What it is, and how to seek it
When they return to dry land.

He grabs the bulky bomb and bolts
While others brace for jarring jolts.
So strong, courageous, clever, swift,
He’s experienced such a shift
Since he spoke to Desmond!

And he runs on defiantly,
Declaring his liberty
From his would-be master’s tyranny
In the hope his selfless bravery
Spares his cornered friends.

As far away from them he dashes,
The hall’s engulfed in flame and ashes.
This time he will not be rising,
But deep within the sub there lies
A true hero.

All around him, crashing, screaming, crying.
The captain‘s dead, the Kwons are dying.
Frank has flown his final flight,
But still Sayid has chosen right
By casting off the darkness
To embrace redeeming light.

What Will You Tell Her? (This Night, Billy Joel / Ludwig Van Beethoven)

"This woman - when she asks you what you did to be with her again... what will you tell her?" - Desmond, The Last Recruit

Probably my favorite single scene in The Last Recruit is the encounter between Sayid and Desmond at the well. Like everyone else I've consulted, I'm convinced that Sayid let Desmond live. They were friends, after all, and Desmond can be pretty persuasive... Here's Desmond in that scene to the tune of Billy Joel's This Night.

What Will You Tell Her?

Brother, I think
You ought to give me a reason
If you intend on
Shooting me in cold blood.
I was your friend,
And so this murder is treason.
Will you stand by as I die
Like a dog in the mud?

Brother, if love
Is your professed motivation,
If you believe
He can restore the one you lost,
You’re a naive
Victim of manipulation.
Will you obey? First I pray
You’ll consider the cost.

Should she return,
And should she want to learn
What you did to be with her again,
Sayid, what will you tell her?

Under your gaze,
Penny and I reunited.
You saved my mind;
Now let me help preserve your soul.
Brother, you’re blind -
Or you are sadly short-sighted.
Where will you run after gunning me
Down in this hole?

What will you say
To get relief from your conscience?
Will you confess,
Hoping that she will understand?
Will you address
This risen woman with nonsense,
Knowing you’d chill her by killing
An innocent man?

Should she return,
And should she want to learn
What you did to be with her again,
Sayid, what will you tell her?

Should she return,
And should she want to learn
What you did just to be with her again,
Sayid, what will you tell her?

Sayid... Oh...
If you do this to be with her again,
Sayid, what will you tell her?

This Night

Sayid's Message, (Bad Moon Rising, John Fogerty)

"The man that I met is leaving the Island forever. And those of you who want to go with him should leave the temple and join him. You have until sundown to decide."
 - Sayid, Sundown

Sayid is given an ominous message to deliver in Sundown. Here he speaks his piece to the tune of Creedence Clearwater Revival's Bad Moon Rising.

Sayid’s Message

I tried to murder that being.
I tried stabbing him to death.
I tried; it’s time for fleeing.
I tried; he still draws breath.

Don’t stick around tonight.
You’ve been ordered to take flight.
You’ll be murdered otherwise.

I hear sunset ticking nearer.
I know that switching sides will pay.
I saw visions in a mirror.
I saw who Jacob took away.

Don’t stick around tonight.
You’ve been ordered to take flight.
You’ll be murdered otherwise.

Hope you understand this warning.
Hope you accept the new regime.
Join us, and by tomorrow morning,
Terror will seem a distant dream.

Oh, don’t stick around tonight.
You’ve been ordered to take flight.
You’ll be murdered otherwise.

Don’t stick around tonight.
You’ve been ordered to take flight.
You’ll be murdered otherwise.

Sundown! (Sundown, Gordon Lightfoot)

Last week's Sundown is a definite contender for the most depressing episode of LOST ever. It also shares its title with a smashing song by Gordon Lightfoot, so as soon as I heard what the title would be, I knew I'd have to do something with that song, no matter where the plot went. It went to a dark place indeed. Here's a reflection on the last few minutes of that episode.

Sundown!

Kate: Do I have to stick with Claire? I would say so, yes,
But it looks like we’re caught in a nasty mess.
Smokey: Sundown! It’s time to depart,
And a new reign of terror is about to start.
Sundown! It’s time to depart,
And a new reign of terror is about to start.

Claire: I just hope she’s feeling scared. She abducted Aaron,
And now, I intend to kill Kate, I swear.
Sayid: Sometimes, my conscience objects,
But for Nadia, I would snap a thousand more necks.
Sometimes, my conscience objects,
But for Nadia, I would snap a thousand more necks.

Smokey: I’m not sure I have the measure of Austen yet.
Has she joined as an ally, or is she a threat?
Sundown! It’s time to depart,
And a new reign of terror is about to start.
Sometimes, despite how I’ve planned,
I can’t help fearing Jacob hasn’t shown his whole hand.

Sayid: It’s a thrill to know that Ben is so petrified
And that I could have killed him if I’d only tried.
Sometimes, my conscience objects,
But for Nadia, I would snap a thousand more necks.
Smokey: Sundown! It’s time to depart,
And a new reign of terror is about to start.
Sundown! It’s time to depart,
And a new reign of terror is about to start.
Sometimes, despite how I’ve planned,
I can’t help fearing Jacob hasn’t shown his whole hand.

Trust (I Will, Paul McCartney)

Here's another LOST parody inspired by What Kate Does. This time, Sayid is the speaker, to the tune of the Beatles' I Will.

Trust

They say I’ve been infected.
Who knows what’s in that pill?
If I take it, it could kill me;
If you want me to, I will.

Although you claim they cured me,
They hardly seem sincere.
But we’ve been in this together
Since the day we landed here.

In this together, so forever,
Jack, you will have my trust.
If you say swallow, I will follow.
I will do what I must.

I don’t care that they fixed me;
It’s you who is my friend.
So just lay it on the line, Jack.
Say this medicine is fine, Jack.
Or advise me to decline the pill, Jack.
Oh, you know I will.
I will.

We Are Home (Take Me Home, Phil Coulter)

Listening to Celtic Thunder's new album, Take Me Home, gave me all sorts of fodder for filking. Here's a reflection by the speaking members of the Oceanic Six as they return to civilization, to the tune of the title track.

We Are Home

Jack: At my dad's urgin',
I became a surgeon.
Now I can focus on perfecting my skill.

Kate: I should find a lawyer,
And thanks to Sawyer,
I have a request to fulfill.

Hurley: My mom is waiting,
And I've been debating.
I might be ready to let Dad try again.

Sun: I'll have this baby,
Then I think that maybe
I'll go and track down Ben.

All: Home.
Yes, we are home,
The place we never thought we would see.
Sun: I wish that Jin was here with me.
All: But we are home!

Sayid: Nadia, where are you?
I've come too far to
Disregard the romance that I have dreamed of for years.

All: Faced with this ending,
No use pretending
Our eyes have been free of tears.

All: Home.
Yes, we are home,
The place we never thought we would see.
Kate: I wish that Sawyer was with me.
All: But we are home!

Jack: We are home after months away.
Hurley: Now I wonder if we'll stay.

Jack: Home.
(Sun and Kate: Jin and Sawyer.)
Sayid: Yes, we are home.
(Jack and Hurley: Claire and Charlie.)
Kate: The press is making a mighty fuss
(Sayid: Who knew that only six of us would return?)
Hurley: We wish our friends
(Sun: I'm so lonely)
Hurley: Were here with us.
(Sun: And I'm yearning to be with him again.)
Jack: But we are home!

Jack: Home.
(Sun and Kate: Jin and Sawyer.)
Sayid: Yes, we are home.
(Jack and Hurley: Claire and Charlie.)
Kate: The press is making a mighty fuss
(Sayid: Who knew that only six of us would return?)
Hurley: We wish our friends
(Sun: I'm so lonely)
Hurley: Were here with us.
(Sun: And I'm yearning...)
Jack: But we are home!
All: We are home!

I Will Not Avenge Boone (Lasso the Moon, Billy Simon / Lowell Alexander)

Here's a refusal from Sayid to Shannon to kill John Locke, to the tune of the lullaby Lasso the Moon. Sayid comes across as pretty rough sometimes, but this is one of those instances that demonstrates the strength of his principles...

I Will Not Avenge Boone

If he were my step-brother,
Despair might turn my love
Into a blinding rage. However,
Think before the actions meant
To banish emptiness
Instead impair your soul forever.

Though Boone died,
That seems accidental to me.
His death was unfair, and yet
Killing John is too.
I will not avenge Boone for you.

Shannon, if John Locke were here,
He'd show you his remorse.
You would not doubt how much he's mourning.
Trust me when I say he's been
Agonizing most
Sincerely. I believe his story.

Though Boone died,
That seems accidental to me.
His death was unfair, and yet
Killing John is too.
I will not avenge Boone for you.

Lasso the Moon

A Militant Man (An Innocent Man, Billy Joel)

I'm trying to fill in the gaps in my LOST parodies by turning my attention to characters I've largely neglected thus far. One of the most glaring of these is Sayid, whose only appearance was in my very first attempt. I guess he hasn't really grabbed my interest the way some of the others have, largely because he's so darn solemn all the time, but he's an intriguing character and actually one of the reasons I think the Others, or at least some of the Others, aren't so bad. Right off the bat they get us to sympathize with someone who was one of "the bad guys", and it makes us more inclined to consider how apparent enemies might be viewed differently if we looked at things from their perspective.

Sayid is a good man who has done bad things, and though he is mostly ashamed of the harm he inflicted upon others when he felt he had little choice, that experience has hardened him, making him more willing to resort to desperate measures in the desperate times the castaways face. This parody of Billy Joel's An Innocent Man features Sayid at loggerheads with Jack over his desire to use dubious methods to extract information from Sawyer, Henry and Juliet.

A Militant Man

How can he steal from the sick and the poor?
I'd say that Sawyer has plundered enough.
It is his choice to be vilified
Although I don't understand why.

He might give in, Jack. It shouldn't take much
When there's danger in breaking all the rules.
I'm guessing you know what must be done
So Shannon will not have to die.

I need your presence, and that's enough help.
I'll do the dirty work all by myself.
Oh, yes, it's dirty,
But I'm not above
Giving Sawyer a shove.
I'll gladly try it if it helps her heal.
I'm not above using torturing
To restore her health if I can.

I know he took them, though he hasn't told;
I think my torment ought to loosen his tongue.
I'm only able to make men cry
Because I am a militant man.
I am a militant man.
Oh, yes, I am.

You people may be too quick to believe
A shifty stranger whose heart could be dark.
I'm betting he has a secret to tell.
You'd do well to recall we're at war.

They murdered Scott and stole Walt in the night;
They kidnapped Claire and left Charlie for dead.
I'm sorry this makes you queasy, but to trust him,
We must be secure.

We have been living in fear, but today
We might make progress if you let me stay.
I am prepared to use pliers and knives,
But I'll keep him alive.
I'm not about to be ruthless like them.
I only need to persuade him a while.
If he aids us, then I'll still my hand.

If he's the one who can start shedding light
On all the problems plaguing our small clan,
His knowledge should be the perfect excuse
For abuse by a militant man.
I am a militant man.
Oh, yes, I am
A militant man.

What makes you think that Juliet is all right?
She's one of them, and I suspect that she might
Be on a mission.
Jack, how do we know
That she wasn't let go
To do some spying, unsuspected by us?
Would you not love to discover her part
In the Others' well-guarded grand plan?

I'm only asking to hear it from her.
Was leaving her idea or was it his?
I'm afraid Ben will pay her to lie
Because I am a militant man.
I am a militant man.
Oh, yes, I am
A militant man.
Oh, oh, oh, oh...