Joanna (Rosanna, David Paich)

"You think you're all noble and heroic for coming after me? I was fine! You're not the only one who knows what to do around here, you know that? I run a business! Who appointed you our savior, huh?"
- Boone, White Rabbit

We never got to know Joanna, the castaway who drowned less than a week after the crash of Flight 815, and neither did much of anybody else. Here Jack runs the gamut of emotions before ultimately using her tragic death as an impetus for a more united camp, to the tune of Toto's Rosanna.

Joanna

Boone: Think you’re noble, Jack?  Well, I didn’t need a savior, and someone died.
Joanna, Joanna.
She only drowned ‘cause you interfered and wasted time on me.
Joanna.
All you had to do was abandon me, but no, you couldn’t get that right.
Joanna, Joanna.
You didn’t think I could handle myself?  I beg to disagree.

Jack: I’m sorry, Boone, but just go away.  Joanna’s dead.
Never saw her before today.
Helping doesn’t pay.  Helping doesn’t pay.  Joanna’s dead.
Helping doesn’t pay.  Helping doesn’t pay.  Joanna’s dead.

Kate: Jack, you look exhausted.  Go and get some rest.  Nobody doubts you tried.
Jack: Joanna, Joanna.
I gotta go; what I think I see must mean I’m going mad.
Joanna.
Overcome with guilt, and I shudder at the judgment in my father’s eyes.
Joanna, Joanna.
I never thought, even with him dead, I’d have to dodge my dad.

I’m sorry, Kate.  Need to get away.  Joanna’s dead.
Never saw her before today.
Now, my dad would say, “Let it go, okay?  Joanna’s dead.”
But I can’t obey.  Need to get away.  Joanna’s dead.

Okay, I have a few things to say.  Joanna’s dead,
But Boone tried saving her today.
Put your barbs away.  Fighting’s not okay.  That angst will spread.
There’s a better way.  If we’re here to stay, let’s bond instead.

If we’re here to stay, if we’re here to stay, let’s bond instead.
If we’re here to stay, if we’re here to stay, let’s bond instead.

The Distress Call (Feuilles-Oh / Do Space Men Pass Dead Souls On Their Way to the Moon, Traditional / J. S. Bach / Linda Grossman)

"Si qui que ce soit puisse entendre ceci, ils sont morts. Veuillez nous aider. Je vais essayer d'aller jusqu'au Rocher Noir. Il les a tués. Il les a tués tous."
- Danielle, Pilot, Part 2

Here's my best attempt at turning the radio transmission into a song. I changed it as little as possible; I hope it still makes sense. Here's the end of the pilot episode, to the tune of Art Garfunkel's Feuilles-Oh / Do Space Men Pass Dead Souls On Their Way to the Moon?

The Distress Call

Danielle: Si qui que puisse entendre,
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.
Si qui que puisse entendre,
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.

Veuillez nous aider.
Il les a tués.
Ils sont morts.
Vuillez nous aider.
Il les a tués.
Je vais essayer
D'aller à Rocher Noir.
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.

Si qui que puisse entendre,
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.
Si qui que puisse entendre,
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.

Veuillez nous aider.
Il les a tués.
Ils sont morts.
Vuillez nous aider.
Il les a tués.
Je vais essayer
D'aller à Rocher Noir.
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.

Sayid: It’s been running for 16 years.
Boone: Someone else? Stranded here?
Sayid: Yes, this was a cry for help.
Sawyer: If someone saved her, then why’s it still play?
Charlie: Uh... Hey, guys, where are we?
This is no normal place.

Danielle: Veuillez nous aider.
Il les a tués.
Ils sont morts.
Vuillez nous aider.
Il les a tués.
Je vais essayer
D'aller à Rocher Noir.
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.
Aidez-nous. Ils sont morts.

Boone and Shannon (Bread and Roses, James Oppenheim)

One of the oddest pairings LOST has presented is Boone and Shannon, who really ought to stick to being brother and sister. This is a reflection on their relationship to the tune of John Denver's Bread and Roses. Here's hoping their lives are a little less complicated in the Sideways storyline.

Boone and Shannon

He said she was his sister, but that wasn’t quite the case,
For a fierce infatuation was emblazoned on his face
As he stood and criticized her for her superficial tannin’,
Knowing she would just berate him. Boone and Shannon, Boone and Shannon.

She said he was her brother. That’s a matter for debate.
When their parents wed each other, he was ten and she was eight.
Surely such romantic ardor wasn’t what they had been plannin’,
But it’s what was in the cards for Boone and Shannon, Boone and Shannon.

They said that they were siblings, and they tossed the “step” away.
Did they need a stern reminder that the game they tried to play
Was a deviant idea that deserved a brutal bannin’?
Will another life be kind to Boone and Shannon, Boone and Shannon?
Will another life be kind to Boone and Shannon, Boone and Shannon?

I Will Not Avenge Boone (Lasso the Moon, Billy Simon / Lowell Alexander)

Here's a refusal from Sayid to Shannon to kill John Locke, to the tune of the lullaby Lasso the Moon. Sayid comes across as pretty rough sometimes, but this is one of those instances that demonstrates the strength of his principles...

I Will Not Avenge Boone

If he were my step-brother,
Despair might turn my love
Into a blinding rage. However,
Think before the actions meant
To banish emptiness
Instead impair your soul forever.

Though Boone died,
That seems accidental to me.
His death was unfair, and yet
Killing John is too.
I will not avenge Boone for you.

Shannon, if John Locke were here,
He'd show you his remorse.
You would not doubt how much he's mourning.
Trust me when I say he's been
Agonizing most
Sincerely. I believe his story.

Though Boone died,
That seems accidental to me.
His death was unfair, and yet
Killing John is too.
I will not avenge Boone for you.

Lasso the Moon

Flight 815 (Sloop John B., Traditional)

Here's an optimistic little LOST ditty to the tune of Sloop John B. set on September 23, 2004.

Flight 815

Boone: We boarded Flight 815,
And Shannon pitched a scene.
No pass for first class made her moan.
That little slight
Turned out quite all right;
When the airplane broke up,
Our limbs were still on.

Castaways: So what if 815 failed
And we're not rescued yet?
We weren't remotely on course,
Radio's gone, radio's gone,
The radio's gone. (Yeah, yeah)
But I feel so grateful
My limbs are still on.

Hurley: I've got such rotten luck,
I almost wound up stuck
In Sydney. I guess it would be better that way.
Dude, my poor mom.
How is she getting along? (Yeah, yeah)
Well, at least there's not much more that can go wrong...

Castaways: So what if 815 failed (What if 815...)
And we're not rescued yet? (And we're not rescued...)
We weren't remotely on course,
Radio's gone (radio's gone)
The radio's gone (radio's gone)
I said the radio's gone. (What if 815 failed?)
(What if 815...)
But I feel so grateful
My limbs are still on.
(Limbs are still on)
(What if 815...)

Locke: That wheelchair stuff was the pits,
And sitting there gave me fits.
It used to make me wish I had never been born.
Woke up this morn,
Paralysis is still gone.
This is the best trip I've ever been on.

Castaways: So what if 815 failed (What if 815...)
And we're not rescued yet? (And we're not rescued...)
We weren't remotely on course,
Radio's gone (radio's gone)
The radio's gone (radio's gone)
I said the radio's gone. (What if 815 failed?)
(What if 815...)
I feel so grateful
My limbs are still on.