The Home That She Denied Me (Octopus's Garden, Ringo Starr)

Man In Black: I have to go.
Mother: Why?
Man In Black: Because I don't belong here.
- Across the Sea

This is a sort of companion piece to This Island Is My Home in which the Man in Black is daydreaming about leaving the Island and trying to figure out how to convince Jacob to go with him.

The Home That She Denied Me 

I’d like to be across the sea

In the home that She denied me as a babe.
I'd watch my twin grow thicker skin

In the home that She denied me as a babe.

We’d see how wide the world could be;

Why doesn’t Jacob want to join me?

I’d like to be across the sea

In the home that She denied me as a babe.

Don’t be alarmed; I’d do no harm

On our journey to reclaim the home I crave.

I would create and innovate,

And our liberty would make my brother brave.

Independence would abound.

No Mother there to boss us ‘round!

I’d like to be across the sea

In the home that She denied me as a babe.

Should I shout that I want out?

Perhaps I should stomp and rant and rave.

(Would it help to rant and rave?)

Need a ploy to sway that Mama’s Boy

Trapped in that suffocating cave.

(What a stifling cave!)

Him and me, at last we would be free,

Basking in the life we never knew.

I’d like to be across the sea

In the home that She denied to us two.

In the home that She denied to us two.

In the home that She denied to us two…

He Called Him Brother (They Called Him Laughter, Michael Card)

"I only picked one name."
- Claudia, Across the Sea

The epic rivalry between Jacob and his brother started with their birth. Here's a reflection on that to the tune of Michael Card's They Called Him Laughter.

He Called Him Brother

A stormy wind and a restless sea
Left Claudia lost. She was destined to be
A pawn in the game of the woman who guarded the Island.
Accepting the help of the stranger who spoke,
She pushed, and her baby was born and awoke.
But Jacob would soon have a brother because there were two.

He called him Brother thanks to their mother.
Though she was expecting,
She didn’t know twins would be due.
So Jacob was frozen in the name she had chosen,
But he called him Brother.
There weren’t enough names for two.

She clothed him in darkness and Jacob in light
And planned for the day when she’d force them to fight.
She applauded the sins of the brother, and poor Jacob knew.
He tried to be faithful to mother and twin,
But given the choice between parent and kin,
He stuck with the former, becoming a desolate boy.

He called him Brother thanks to their mother.
Though she was expecting,
She didn’t know twins would be due.
So Jacob was frozen in the name she had chosen,
But he called him Brother.
There weren’t enough names for two.

He called him Brother thanks to their mother.
Though she was expecting,
She didn’t know twins would be due.
So Jacob was frozen in the name she had chosen,
But he called him Brother.
There weren’t enough names for two.

They Called Him Laughter

I Will Destroy the Beast (God's Own Fool, Michael Card)

"It's where I was told I could summon the monster. That's before I realized that it was the one summoning me."
- Ben, What They Died For

Ben's actions on the Island in What They Died For initially really depressed me because it felt like such a sad regression back into villainy. But the more I think about it, the more certain I am that Ben is running his own con, and because of his incredibly dark past and his willingness to kill his old enemy to get his point across, he may just be able to pull it off where Sawyer failed. Here's hopin'. Here is Ben to the tune of Michael Card's God's Own Fool.

I Will Destroy the Beast

Seems he misled me for all of my life
Since I came to this place as a kid,
And he molded me into a murderous man.
I cringe at the things that I did.
For ever since Jacob clutched me as he died
And then Miles confirmed that he cared,
I've seen how this monster made use of my pride
Until I was wholly ensnared.

So I, in my foolishness, ate up his lies.
I was his tool then, but now I’ve grown wise.
When I was a leader, he conned me so long.
Now I’ve been humbled and know I was wrong.
And so I’ll make that thing a fool.
I owe that to Jacob at least.
I won’t stand by and be his tool.
I will destroy the beast.

I’ll give up my life for the sake of this con
That will rid us of evil at last.
I’ll do it for Jacob and Alex and John.
I’ll purge the mistakes of my past.
I’ll surrender the power that never was mine,
Be the man Jacob hoped I could be.
For I’ve been through the fire and I’ve been refined,
And though I was blind, now I see.

Yes, I, in my foolishness, ate up his lies.
I was his tool then, but now I’ve grown wise.
When I was a leader, he conned me so long.
Now I’ve been humbled and know I was wrong.
And so I’ll make that thing a fool.
I owe that to Alex at least.
I won’t stand by and be his tool.
I will destroy the beast.

So I’ll make that thing a fool.
I owe that to John Locke at least.
I won’t stand by and be his tool.
I will destroy the beast.

Creepy Kid (Oh You Mucky Kid, Stan Kelly)

Little Jacob: You know the rules. You can't kill him.
Smokey: Don't tell me what I can't do!
- The Substitute

When that mysterious boy showed up in the jungle in The Substitute, it was a strange thing indeed. We now know that this was Jacob as a boy, so I presume that he is a ghost, which Smokey can see but Richard can't (though it's surprising to think that Desmond and Sawyer can). Here's a little reflection about little ghostly Jacob, to the tune of the Irish Rovers' Oh You Mucky Kid.

Creepy Kid

Oh, you are a creepy kid.
Smokey knows just what you did.
Are you merely his ego or id?
Are you a ghost, jungle lad?

You look so spooky standing there
Under your shock of golden hair,
And Richard claims to be unaware,
So is Smokey going crazy?

Your arms and hands are limply spread,
Augmented now with trails of red.
So are you a vision or are you dead?
Are you a ghost, jungle lad?

Oh, you are a creepy kid.
Smokey knows just what you did.
Are you merely his ego or id?
Are you a ghost, jungle lad?

You’ve cleaned up nicely now for James.
Is this another of your games?
When you warn your rival not to kill,
He doesn’t like rules, so he’s angry.

Perhaps it is your youthful plight
That’s reminded James to bear the light.
He’ll follow “John,” but it’s a con.
You’re counting upon his trickery.

Oh, you are a creepy kid.
Smokey knows just what you did.
Are you merely his ego or id?
Are you a ghost, jungle lad?

You really have an impish face,
But it could be his saving grace.
Yes, maybe the Smoke can be erased,
And you’ll be left with your brother.

Oh You Mucky Kid

This Island Is My Home (Castles in the Air, Don McLean)

Smokey: Come with me, Jacob. Please... What are you gonna do when she dies?
Jacob: She's never gonna die.
Smokey: Jacob, everything dies.
Jacob: Well, I don't wanna leave this island. It's my home.
- Across the Sea

Here's a conversation between Smokey and Jacob as the former tries to convince the latter to leave the Island, to the tune of Don McLean's Castles in the Air.

This Island Is My Home

Smokey: What do you plan to do when she dies?
Jacob: I don't believe she ever will.
This Island is my home.
I don’t know why you’re so inclined to roam.
Smokey: Why should you stay? You’ll just be left alone.

Living here with men, I have watched them steal and lie,
And I have learned that everyone must die.
The tide has turned, and Mother’s end is nigh.
How I have yearned to bid this place goodbye!

Jacob, can’t I convince you to join in?
How I have missed our times together, gentle twin.
Jacob: Brother, you know how lonely I have been,
But if I left her now, I would shudder in chagrin.

Remember long ago, back when she led us to the water
Where we saw the ever-glowing light?
She said, “One day, I’m going to incite
One of you boys to protect it, day and night.”

Smokey: Look, I do not belong on this God-forsaken Island.
Can’t you see we’re in a foreign land?
What must I say to make you understand?
Don’t go along with what that woman’s planned.

Jacob, can’t I convince you to join in?
How I have missed our times together, gentle twin.
Jacob: Brother, you know how lonely I have been,
But if I left her now, I would shudder in chagrin.

Smokey: What do you plan to do when she dies?
Jacob: I don't believe she ever will.
This Island is my home.
I don’t know why you’re so inclined to roam.
Smokey: Why should you stay? You’ll just be left alone.

Brothers (Partners, Traditional)

Here's a song from Jacob and Smokey set during one of their clandestine meetings prior to their adoptive mother's death, to the tune of the cowboy song Partners. (And I know his brother isn't "Smokey" yet, but I'm set in my ways...)

Brothers

Jacob: You want to leave; I want to stay.
You rebel, while I obey.
Although you now live far away,
We’ll always be brothers.

You’re insolent, and I’m polite.
You dress in black, and I dress in white.
We still will meet; we have that right.
We’ll always be brothers.

How I miss when we could spend
Days together, from start to end.
I never will forget that, friend,
‘Cause we’ll always be brothers.

Smokey: I love the sea; you love the land.
I crave adventure; you like things bland.
But here’s what we both understand:
We’ll always be brothers.

I’ve grown mature; you’re still a child.
I’m in the village; you’re in the wild.
If Mother knew, she might be riled,
But we’ll always be brothers.

How I miss when we could spend
Days together, from start to end.
I never will forget that, friend,
‘Cause we’ll always be brothers.

Partners

Brother in Black (Little Boy Blue, Eugene Field)

Jacob: Can you show me how to play?
Smokey: If you promise not to tell Mother.
Jacob: Why can't we tell her?
Smokey: Because she'll take it away.
- Across the Sea

How do such good friends become such mortal enemies? Destructive parenting doesn't help... Here's a song about Smokey and Jacob to the tune of the Irish Rovers' Little Boy Blue.

Brother in Black

The curious game washed up on the shore,
Half-buried within the sand.
So the brother in white asked, “What is it for?”
As he held a piece in his hand.

That was long before the days of Jack
And of Hurley and all the rest.
Oh, and that was when the brother in black
Stated his small request.

“Don’t you tell Mother what I found.
You know she won‘t let us play.”
But Jacob, so honest and honor-bound,
Reported it right away.

“You’re special,” said Mother, who took a seat
Right next to the brother in black.
“You are quick and cunning. You'll lie and cheat,
Skills that Jacob will always lack.”

“Don’t you tell Mother what I found.
You know she won‘t let us play.”
But Jacob, so honest and honor-bound,
Reported it right away.

Mother assured him she understood
And urged him to keep the game,
While Jacob was told he was very good
And she loved each of them the same.

She was laying the rails of a tragic track
That would lead to an epic fight.
Oh, how she damaged the brother in black
And the brother who dressed in white!

“Don’t you tell Mother what I found.
You know she won‘t let us play.”
But Jacob, so honest and honor-bound,
Reported it right away.

Little Boy Blue

The Island He Ruled (The Village of Brambleshire Wood, George and Will Millar)

"At some point in your life, James, probably when you were young and miserable and vulnerable. he came to you, he manipulated you, pulled your strings like you were a puppet. And as a result, choices you thought were made, were never really choices at all. He was pushing you, James. Pushing you.. to the Island."- Smokey, The Substitute

Jacob and Smokey have very different perspectives on their ongoing battle. Here's Smokey addressing Sawyer in the cliffside cave, to the tune of the Irish Rovers' The Village of Brambleshire Wood.

The Island He Ruled

Written here on this wall are the numbers and names
Of the people he brought to the Island he ruled.
I’ve freed us at last from his tedious games
And his endless insistence on preserving the light.

Goodbye to his silly white stone!
See the names of the chumps who have died?
He carelessly crossed out the names and the numbers
Of people he brought to the Island he ruled.

Goodbye to his games and his silly white stone
And the names in this cave on the Island he ruled!

You’ll notice, I think, not all of the names here
Are split and obscured with a chalk line of white.
They're potential replacements who somehow aren't dead,
Who've survived their ordeal on the Island he ruled.

There’s Shephard and Reyes and Kwon,
And Jarrah, and I think both of us recall John.
His time here is through, so I’ll cross him out too,
Just a pawn Jacob brought to the Island he ruled.

Goodbye to his games and his silly white stone
And the names in this cave on the Island he ruled!

Now you’re number 15. Don’t look so astonished.
Yes, you met Jacob a long time ago.
He gave you a push, James, and look where it led you.
It brought you, like the rest, to the Island he ruled.

Since he’s dead, three choices are yours:
Do nothing, and stay on these infernal shores;
Take on the position of pointless protector;
Or you join me, and we leave the Island he ruled.

Goodbye to his games and his silly white stone
And the names in this cave on the Island he ruled!

The Village of Brambleshire Wood

The Man With No Name (A Horse With No Name, Dewey Bunnell)

Across the Sea gave me a lot to mull over. I have a feeling I won't entirely understand its significance until I can put it together with the last two episodes, but at first glance, I found it epic and moving, and I wound up staying up until 4 in the morning writing my first song inspired by this foray into Jacob and Smokey's distant history. I imagine that he feels very guilty about turning his brother into the Smoke Monster and hopes that proving that humanity can choose goodness will somehow undo that fusion. Here's Jacob to the tune of America's A Horse With No Name.

The Man With No Name

Started out when we were children.
I was happy with Island life.
With my mother and my brother there,
Why would I go anywhere?
That wasn’t enough for my curious kin.
He was drawn to the sea.
He thought there must be a land beyond,
Far from Mother, far from me.

I blemished my brother. He’s the man with no name
Whose corruption is my lifelong shame,
And I’ve forced him to keep on playing my game.
It seems pointless, but I will try all the same.

Mother led us to this. It’s a cosmic fight.
I must end it by sharing the sacred light.

Near the village Mother tried to hide,
He said he wanted to leave.
When he told how our true mother died,
I was fuming far too much to grieve.
So he stayed with the men while I went home again.
I did not know what to believe.

You see, I blemished my brother. He’s the man with no name
Whose corruption is my lifelong shame,
And I’ve forced him to keep on playing my game.
It seems pointless, but I will try all the same.

Our mother led us to this. It’s a cosmic fight,
And I must end it by sharing the sacred light.

Decades later, we still conferred in peace,
But civility soon would cease.
When I saw our mother’s lifeless form,
I became a raging storm.
The heartbeat of the Island pounded deep in the stream,
Where I gave him a sullen shove.
I watched the smoke spread like a darkening dream,
Coldly claiming the twin I love.

That’s how I blemished my brother. He’s the man with no name
Whose corruption is my lifelong shame,
And I’ve forced him to keep on playing my game.
It seems pointless, but I will try all the same.

Our mother led us to this. It’s a cosmic fight,
And I must end it by sharing the sacred light.
Our mother led us to this. It’s a cosmic fight,
And I must end it by sharing the sacred light.
Mother led us to this. It’s a cosmic fight,
And I must end it by sharing the sacred light.
Mother led us to this. It’s a cosmic fight,
And I must end it by sharing the sacred light...

A Monster By the Cockpit (Hey Daddy, Bob Ruzicka)

Here's another ditty inspired by the Anne Murray album There's a Hippo in My Tub, a wonderful collection of lullabies. This is a not-so-soothing rundown of some of the strange creatures on the Island, to the tune of Hey Daddy.

A Monster By the Cockpit

Hey, Sawyer, there’s a bear out in the jungle.
Good thing you’re a trigger-happy man.
Hey, Charlie, run quick, ‘cause there’s a monster by the cockpit,
And it seems to me he’s not a Drive Shaft fan.

It’s a scary sort of Island
With a roving DHARMA shark.
Sometimes you suspect that
You’d prefer Jurassic Park.

I tell ya,
Hey, Sawyer, there’s a bear out in the jungle.
Good thing you’re a trigger-happy man.
Hey, Charlie, run quick, ‘cause there’s a monster by the cockpit,
And it seems to me he’s not a Drive Shaft fan.

Well, the bandit boars are a menace here,
And the Hurley bird is bizarre,
But if velociraptors trash the camp,
That’s going too far.

Meanwhile,
Hey, Sawyer, there’s a bear out in the jungle.
Good thing you’re a trigger-happy man.
Hey, Charlie, run quick, ‘cause there’s a monster by the cockpit,
And it seems to me he’s not a Drive Shaft fan.
And it seems to me he’s not a Drive Shaft fan.
Yeah, it seems to me he’s not a Drive Shaft fan.

Have a Rock (At the Hop, Arthur Singer / John Medora / David White)

Jacob: I see you got my present.
Smokey: Don't gloat, Jacob. It doesn't become you.
- Ab Aeterno

Here's a little ditty about Jacob giving Smokey the white rock at the end of Ab Aeterno, to the tune of Danny and the Juniors' At the Hop.

Have a Rock

Jacob: Have a white rock.  Have a white rock.
Have a white rock.  Have a white rock.
Have a rock.

Well, I am overcome with glee now
Since Ricardo is with me now.
Have a rock.
See the bright alabaster
And recall who is the master.
Have a rock.
With a new adviser,
Those I bring will be wiser.
Have a rock.

Do you like your rock?
Do you like your rock?
Do you like your rock?
Smokey: Stop gloating!
Jacob: Do you like your rock?
Tell me, do you like your rock?

Smokey: Well, now you got yourself a steward.
What a happy day for you!
I got a rock.
Since he helped you win this wager,
Alpert doesn’t have to age.
I got a rock.
Now he never will die.
In the meantime,
I got a rock.

And so...
Do I like my rock?
Do I like my rock?
Do I like my rock?
Jacob: Well, do you?
Smokey: Do I like my rock?
Let’s see, do I like my rock?
Jacob: Well?
Smokey: No!

Jacob: Well, I am overcome with glee now
Since Ricardo is with me now.
Have a rock.
See the bright alabaster
And recall who is the master.
Have a rock.
With a new adviser,
Those I bring will be wiser.
Have a rock.

Smokey: Well, you got yourself a steward.
What a happy day for you!
I got a rock.
Since he helped you win this wager,
Alpert doesn’t have to age.
I got a rock.
Now he never will die,
And meanwhile,
I got a rock.

And so...
Do I like my rock?
Do I like my rock?
Jacob: Well, do you?
Smokey: Do I like my rock?
Jacob: Well, do you?
Smokey: Do I like my rock?
Let’s see, do I like my rock?

Stupid white rock.  Stupid white rock.
Stupid white rock.  Stupid white rock.
Stupid rock!

Answers (The Safety Dance, Ivan Doroschuk)

Smokey: That's not why you're here. And if you come with me, I can prove it.
Sawyer: Well, I guess I better put some pants on.
- The Substitute

In The Substitute, Sawyer has to decide whether or not to go with the man who looks like John Locke and claims he can answer some of his most burning questions. It's not too tough a choice for him to make. Here's Sawyer to the tune of Men Without Hats' The Safety Dance.

Answers

It’s a chance for some answers,
Which I’d really love to find.
If you’re gonna show what I wanna know,
Then I’ll leave this behind.
But when you give me your answers,
Since I’m not the trustin’ kind,
I’ll just pretend to accept whatever you say
As a plan’s formin’ in my mind.
It’s a chance.

I’ve been lookin’ for answers
Since the minute Blondie died.
If there’s some truth somewhere in whatever you share,
Then I’d better let you be my guide.
Hey, I’ll make use of your answers.
Let’s get outta Dharmaville.
Yeah, with a little luck, I’ll find out why I’m stuck,
And then I’ll turn on the conman skill.

There’s not a chance,
Not a chance
I will be losing control.
Not a chance,
Not a chance
You will be corrupting my soul.

Not a chance,
Not a chance
I’ll be fallin’ under your trance.
It’s a chance.
It’s a chance.
Guess I’d better put on some pants.

There’s a chance
It’s the proper stance.
Yeah, I’ll take the chance.

It’s a chance for some answers.
Wonder what will come to light?
I’ve had enough of boozin’.
This is what I’m choosin’.
I just hope I’m choosin’ right.

Oh, yeah. It’s a chance for some answers,
Which I’d really love to find.
If you’re gonna show what I wanna know,
Then I’ll leave this behind.

Oh, no, not a chance,
Not a chance
I will be losing control.
Not a chance,
Not a chance
You will be corrupting my soul.

Not a chance,
Not a chance
I’ll be fallin’ under your trance.
It’s a chance.
It’s a chance.
Guess I’d better put on some pants.

Yeah, I’ll take a chance
It’s the proper stance.
Yeah, I’ll take a chance.
It’s the proper stance.
Yeah, I’ll take a chance
It’s the proper stance.
Yeah, I’ll take the chance.
It’s the proper stance.
Yeah, I’ll take a chance
It’s the proper stance.
Yeah, I’ll take the chance.
It’s the proper stance.

Lightning Was Striking Your Tent (Lightnin' Strikes, Lou Christie / Twyla Herbert)

"Look, maybe you should move down the beach, just for tonight. That way I can fix it - make some improvements."
- Desmond, Every Man For Himself


In season three, Charlie practically had to drag a confession out of Desmond regarding his strange activities. Here, to the tune of Lou Christie's Lightnin' Strikes, I imagine Desmond trying to tip off a rather unreceptive Charlie a bit earlier as Smokey tosses out taunts in the distance.

Lightning Was Striking Your Tent

Desmond: Listen to me, Charlie. Accept it if you can.
(Smokey: Charlie, you’re doomed.)
Desmond: I’ve got bad news. I hope you take it like a man.
(Smokey: Charlie, you’re doomed.)
Desmond: Listen to me, Charlie. Don’t let it get you down.
(Smokey: Charlie, you’re doomed.)
Desmond: You should be all right just as long as I’m around.

Destiny wants you dead, so you must heed my warnings, friend.
It’s time you knew what these strange signs portend.

You'll learn a lot from this burly Scot.
(Charlie: What?)
Desmond: What I saw
(Charlie: What?)
Desmond: Ought to drop your jaw.
Lightning was striking your tent!
Lightning was striking your tent!

I don’t understand this any more than you.
(Smokey: Charlie, you’re doomed.)
Desmond: Believing in flashes is peculiar and new.
(Smokey: Charlie, you’re doomed.)
Desmond: I’d advise you paying close attention to me.
(Smokey: Charlie, you’re doomed.)
Desmond: I’ll do the seeing, Charlie. What’ll it be?

You might think I’m odd. I don’t care. Brother, move your hut
Or bad things will come, and I’ve already told you what.

Soon the weather will get rough. This is not a bluff.
(Charlie: What?)
Desmond: What I saw
(Charlie: What?)
Desmond: Ought to drop your jaw.
Lightning was striking your tent!
Lightning was striking down your tent,
Which I’m meant to prevent like a gent!
(Smokey: Charlie, you’re doomed.
Charlie, you’re doomed.
Charlie, you’re doomed.)
Desmond: Lightning was striking your tent!
Lightning was striking your tent!

I feel awkward now, you know,
Talking crazy and playing God.
Please don’t make me go
Turn a club to a lightning rod.

If you’re not fond of pain and you value your brain,
(Charlie: What?)
Desmond: What I saw
(Charlie: What?)
Desmond: Ought to drop your jaw.

Lightning was striking your tent!
Yeah, lightning was striking down your tent,
Which I’m meant to prevent like a gent!
Charlie, lightning was striking your tent,
Which I’m meant to prevent like a gent!

Lookin' Like Locke (Crocodile Rock, Elton John / Bernie Taupin)

"John Locke was not a believer, Jack. He was a sucker." - Smokey, The Last Recruit

Here's another song directly addressing Smokey, this time to the tune of Elton John's Crocodile Rock.

Lookin’ Like Locke

I remember when LOST was young.
Your appearances were far-flung.
First you pulverized poor Seth.
Then you slaughtered Eko, and we all held our breath.
Every season’s brought another shock.
Your latest caper is lookin’ like Locke,
Stakin’ claims when you’re allowed the chance to talk.
You’re a demon who’s schemin’, but you’re lookin’ like Locke.

You’re Locke-lookin’
With malice cookin’
In your vile, amorphous brain.
You know, identity theft’s a crime
And your villainy is plain.
Watch out for karma!
It’s gonna bite.
The Candidates will set things right.
Locke-lookin’, but you won’t win the fight.

Nyah nyah nah nah nah nyah!
Nyah nah nah nah nyah!
Nyah nah nah nah nyah!

In the Island‘s Eye, what did John Locke spy?
Somebody who wanted to make sure he’d die.
He saw beauty in a frightening scene.
You call him a sucker, and that’s awfully mean,
But it’s accurate because your plot
Led at last to you lookin’ like Locke.
You’re harassed by your murky past
But really think that lookin’ like Locke’s a blast.

You’re Locke-lookin’
With malice cookin’
In your vile, amorphous brain.
You know, identity theft’s a crime
And your villainy is plain.
Watch out for karma!
It’s gonna bite.
The Candidates will set things right.
Locke-lookin’, but you won’t win the fight.

Nyah nyah nah nah nah nyah!
Nyah nah nah nah nyah!
Nyah nah nah nah nyah!

I remember when LOST was young.
Your appearances were far-flung.
First you pulverized poor Seth.
Then you slaughtered Eko, and we all held our breath.
Every season’s brought another shock.
Your latest caper is lookin’ like Locke,
Stakin’ claims when you’re allowed the chance to talk.
You’re a demon who’s schemin’, but you’re lookin’ like Locke.

You’re Locke-lookin’
With malice cookin’
In your vile, amorphous brain.
You know, identity theft’s a crime
And your villainy is plain.
Watch out for karma!
It’s gonna bite.
The Candidates will set things right.
Locke-lookin’, but you won’t win the fight.

Nyah nyah nah nah nah nyah!
Nyah nah nah nah nyah!
Nyah nah nah nah nyah!
Nyah nyah nah nah nah nyah!
Nyah nah nah nah nyah!
Nyah nah nah nah nyah!
Nyah nyah nah nah nah nyah...

(fadeout)

My Freedom (Take It to the Limit, Don Henley / Glenn Frey / Randy Meisner)

Smokey: I want to leave. Just let me leave, Jacob. Jacob: As long as I'm alive, you're not going anywhere.
Smokey: Well then, now you know why I want to kill you. - Ab Aeterno

Smokey has one simple request for Jacob, but Jacob is not budging. Here's the two of them to the tune of the Eagles' Take It to the Limit.

My Freedom

Smokey: All alone at the end of an era.
No one left here with me except you.
I was thinking that you might have considered
What I long to do.
You know I’ve been stuck here forever.
Jacob: I don’t have to tell you why.
Smokey: Humans never will change.
Jacob: Always been worth a try.
Smokey: Well, you really must hate me.
I implore and you ignore me.
I abhor this old exchange.

I wanna say goodbye, friend.
Is that such a crime?
But Jacob, you begin it one more time.

Do you count all the lives you have wasted?
Will you waste all your life counting more?
In an eon, will I have to meet you
Again on the shore?
I’m only looking for my freedom.
Jacob: You’re not going anywhere.
Smokey: Don’t you gloat with that wine.
Jacob: No? ‘Cause I’m glad to share...
Smokey: Well, no matter what, I’m leaving.
If I have to kill, you know I will
Until escape is mine.

I wanna say goodbye, friend.
Is that such a crime?
But Jacob, you begin it one more time.
Jacob, you begin it
Jacob, you begin it
Jacob, you begin it one more time.

Jacob: Face it, I begin it
(Smokey: Please)
Jacob: Face it, I begin it
(Smokey: Let me go!)
Jacob: Face it, I begin it one more time.

Jacob: Face it, I begin it
(Smokey: Please)
Jacob: Face it, I begin it
(Smokey: Free me!)
Jacob: Face it, I begin it one more time.

Smokey: Jacob, you begin it
Jacob, you begin it
Jacob, you begin it one more time.

Jacob: Face it, I begin it
(Smokey: Please)
Jacob: Face it, I begin it
(Smokey: Free me!)
Jacob: Face it, I begin it one more time.

Smokey: Jacob, you begin it
(Jacob: No!)
Smokey: Jacob, you begin it
(Jacob: No!)
Smokey: Jacob, you begin it one more time.

(fadeout)

Take It to the Limit

Smokey (Mandy, Scott English / Richard Kerr)

"She said you have to stop the Man in Black. You have to stop him from leaving the island. 'Cause if you don't... todos nos vamos al infierno."
- Hurley, Ab Aeterno

Jacob's nemesis is known by a wide variety of names, but ever since I got confirmation that he and the Smoke Monster are one and the same, I reverted to "Smokey," my old standby nickname for our cranky Island menace. Most of the characters on the show, meanwhile, stick with "Locke". Whatever you call him, he's pretty bad news. Here is a loving tribute to this unfortunate soul, to the tune of Barry Manilow's Mandy. May he remain trapped for a long, long time...

Smokey

You can come across as nice
Though your soul’s as cold as ice.
You were once a man,
But now you’re a mimic.
Sweet civility
Is half your gimmick.

Gathering your new recruits,
Going gaseous when it suits,
Keen to claim the prize
You’ve sought for cent’ries,
The hunger’s in your eyes.
It hasn’t been easy.

Oh, Smokey. Well, your name has remained an enigma,
But they're calling you Locke.
Oh, Smokey. You’re a cloud and that carries some stigma.
People can’t help but gawk. Oh, Smokey.

You’ve lingered there since ancient times,
Observing many callous crimes.
Babysitting brats and swiftly judging,
You’ve wanted to resign
And stop Jacob’s nudging.

Oh, Smokey. Well, your name has remained an enigma,
But they're calling you Locke.
Oh, Smokey. You're a cloud and that carries some stigma.
People can't help but gawk. Oh, Smokey.

If you do succeed,
Everyone suffers.
Jacob’s helpers need
Some Smokey snuffers.

Oh, Smokey. Well, your name has remained an enigma,
But they're calling you Locke.
Oh, Smokey. You're a cloud and that carries some stigma.
People can't help but gawk.
Oh, Smokey. Your name has remained an enigma,
But they're calling you Locke.
Oh, Smokey, a cloud, and that carries some stigma.
They won't heed you...

John Locke's Body (John Brown's Body, Traditional)

"I don't understand. If this is Locke... who's in there?" 
- Sun, The Incident


John Locke has suffered a great many indignities on LOST, not the least of which involves his imitation by a nefarious entity. Here's a ditty to the tune of Pete Seeger's version of John Brown's Body in which various folks outside contemplate the mystery before them. In the last verse, "John Locke" confronts Jacob and offers an answer.

John Locke’s Body

Sun: John Locke’s body lies a-sprawlin’ in the sand.
John Locke’s body lies a-sprawlin’ in the sand.
John Locke’s body lies a-sprawlin’ in the sand.
So who’s in there with Ben?

Ilana: In the shadow of the Statue,
In the shadow of the Statue,
In the shadow of the Statue,
Will evil rise again?

Frank: They knocked me out and brought me with the dead guy in the box.
They knocked me out and brought me with the dead guy in the box.
They knocked me out and brought me with the dead guy in the box.
So who’s in there with Ben?

Ilana: In the shadow of the Statue,
In the shadow of the Statue,
In the shadow of the Statue,
Will evil rise again?

Richard: When John walked into camp, he seemed a little off to me,
But I had waited fifty years to follow his decree,
And so I overlooked the artificiality.
So who’s in there with Ben?

Ilana: In the shadow of the Statue,
In the shadow of the Statue,
In the shadow of the Statue,
Will evil rise again?

Bram: Well, that crate was really heavy, and we carried it all day.
That crate was really heavy, and we carried it all day.
That crate was really heavy, and we carried it all day.
So who’s in there with Ben?

Ilana: In the shadow of the Statue,
In the shadow of the Statue,
In the shadow of the Statue,
Will evil rise again?

Smokey: Remember when I told you that I’d find a loophole, friend?
Since the two of us showed up here, you must know what we intend.
Forget your talk of progress; now at last we’re at the end.
It’s me in here with Ben.

Ilana: In the shadow of the Statue,
In the shadow of the Statue,
In the shadow of the Statue,
Will evil rise again?

Cork in the Wine (Bottle of Wine, Tom Paxton)

"Think of this wine as what you keep calling Hell. There's many other names for it too: malevolence, evil, darkness. And here it is, swirling around in the bottle, unable to get out because if it did, it would spread. The cork is this Island, and it's the only thing keeping the darkness where it belongs."
- Jacob, Ab Aeterno

Jacob provided an intriguing metaphor for the relationship between him, the Island and Smokey in Ab Aeterno. Here I have him ruminate to Richard about the wine bottle to the tune of the Irish Rovers' Bottle of Wine.

Cork in the Wine

Cork in the wine helps to confine,
Helps to keep the evil from spreading.
If he should go, surely he’ll sow
Doom and despair where he’s heading.

This thing you call Hell, I know it well.
Yes, it’s a problem of mine.
How I have strained to keep darkness contained!
I must keep the cork in the wine.

Cork in the wine helps to confine,
Helps to keep the evil from spreading.
If he should go, surely he’ll sow
Doom and despair where he’s heading.

You come and you fight. You will never choose right.
That’s how he defines humankind.
It’s taking so long, but I will prove him wrong
While I keep the cork in the wine.

Cork in the wine helps to confine,
Helps to keep the evil from spreading.
If he should go, surely he’ll sow
Doom and despair where he’s heading. (2x)

Long as I’m here, my objective is clear.
It’s drudgery, yes, but that’s fine.
Though it’s been rough, I am patient enough,
So I’ll keep the cork in the wine.

Cork in the wine helps to confine,
Helps to keep the evil from spreading.
If he should go, surely he’ll sow
Doom and despair where he’s heading. (2x)

Bottle of Wine

The Smoke Thing (My Life, Billy Joel)

"I'm the Smoke Thing."
- Smokey, Recon

In Recon, the most recent episode of LOST, my favorite line was Smokey's blunt assertion.  Here's a song about his conversation with Sawyer, to the tune of Billy Joel's My Life.

The Smoke Thing

Smokey: You should know it was rude of you to interrupt me.
Can’t you see I was trying to calm people down?
You’re not helping by questioning me so abruptly.
Even so, I forgive ya. Quit mopin’ around.

James, this may be a shock to you, but
I’m the Smoke Thing.
I’m the one you should blame for the blood that was spilled.
Do you think that I’m mad? Do you think that I’m joking?
Well, it’s kill or be killed. I don’t wanna be killed.

I‘m gonna need you to go off and do reconnaissance.
(Sawyer: What am I doin’ this for?)
Smokey: I‘m gonna need you, because you were a conman once.
(Sawyer: Sure, that sounds safe...)
Smokey: You don‘t forget
(Sawyer: Can’t forget)
Smokey: Those skills, I bet.
(Sawyer: Those skills yet.)
Smokey: You can lie your way through any mess, James.

There’s a plane on the beach over on Hydra Island.
That’s the plane we’ll be using to get outta here.
If the passengers get in the way of what I planned,
Sorry, folks, but the Smoke Thing will soon reappear.

James, this may be a shock to you, but
I’m the Smoke Thing.
I’m the one you should blame for the blood that was spilled.
Do you think that I’m mad? Do you think that I’m joking?
Well, it’s kill or be killed. I don’t wanna be killed.

I‘m gonna need you to go off and do reconnaissance.
(Sawyer: What am I doin’ this for?)
Smokey: I‘m gonna need you, because you were a conman once.
(Sawyer: Why should I go?)
Smokey: You don‘t forget
(Sawyer: Can’t forget)
Smokey: Those skills, I bet.
(Sawyer: Those skills yet.)
Smokey: You can lie your way through any mess, James.

Do you think that I’m mad? Do you think that I’m joking?
Well, it’s kill or be killed. I don’t wanna be killed.

Sawyer: How can I outsmart the Smoke Thing?
How can I outsmart the Smoke Thing?
How can I outsmart the Smoke Thing?

Jacob's Chosen (All God's Critters, Bill Staines)

On LOST, Jacob's nemesis claims that all he wants is to go home. But it seems there are several people standing in his way. Here's a reflection on that, to the tune of Bill Staines' All God's Critters. (Below is the closest version I could find online to the version I modeled mine after.)

Jacob’s Chosen

Jacob’s chosen are a thorn in my side.
Some have left, some have died and
Some just went rogue, as I pretty much guessed.
But I’m stuck with the rest.
And boy, do they give me a headache!

Take a look at Ford, he’s a thief and a liar.
He’s a lot like me, but his deep desire to
Help his friends is a troubling clue
He’ll try to con me too.

The Kwons are a pair with a whole lotta problems.
Which of them did he want to take his job?
I am not too sure, but it’s such a chore
To get them both at once!

Jacob’s chosen are a thorn in my side.
Some have left, some have died and
Some just went rogue, as I pretty much guessed.
But I’m stuck with the rest.
And boy, do they give me a headache!

I would like to think that Jarrah is all mine.
He’s a murderer, and I like that fine,
But I wonder if I can keep him in line,
Or will he mess up my plans?

Shephard is a hero. Shephard takes the lead.
He’ll never stand by, letting someone bleed.
It galls me that I can’t proceed
Till I’ve cracked his resolve somehow.

Jacob’s chosen are a thorn in my side.
Some have left, some have died and
Some just went rogue, as I pretty much guessed.
But I’m stuck with the rest.
And boy, do they give me a headache!

Reyes is the worst. He’s a sap and a saint
With a soul so pure even I can’t taint it.
He’s Jacob’s pet, so my chances are slim
Till I get rid of him.

Jacob’s chosen are a thorn in my side.
Some have left, some have died and
Some just went rogue, as I pretty much guessed.
But I’m stuck with the rest.
And boy, do they give me a headache!