We Ain't Done (Day Is Done, Peter Yarrow)

"You and me ain't done, Zeke." - Sawyer, The Hunting Party

There's way too much revenge floating around the Island on LOST. Here's Sawyer to the tune of Peter Yarrow's Day Is Done.


We Ain’t Done

Listen, Zeke, I know what you did.
I was right there when you snatched the kid.
I don’t speak destiny, but you bein’ here
Seems like fate, and your reckoning’s near.
Feel the fear.

Yeah, Zeke, you kidnapped Michael’s son.
Back then I told you that we ain’t done.
Yeah, Zeke, you kidnapped Michael’s son.
Back then I told you that we ain’t done.
We ain’t done. (Listen, we ain’t done.)
We ain’t done. (Listen, we ain’t done.)
We ain’t done. (Listen, we ain’t done.)
We ain’t done.

I can tell you what Hugo will say:
“Come on, dude, please put your pistol away!”
He’s naive, and he just doesn’t know
That this is the way it should go.
I’m sure of it, though.

Yeah, Zeke, you kidnapped Michael’s son.
Back then I told you that we ain’t done.
Yeah, Zeke, you kidnapped Michael’s son.
Back then I told you that we ain’t done.
We ain’t done. (Listen, we ain’t done.)
We ain’t done. (Listen, we ain’t done.)
We ain’t done. (Listen, we ain’t done.)
We ain’t done.

Spent my whole life lookin’ to kill.
Got rid of Sawyer, but the drive is there still.
I don’t know, guess it isn’t so wise,
But when I find a guy I despise,
Then I say he dies.

Yeah, Zeke, you kidnapped Michael’s son.
Back then I told you that we ain’t done.
Yeah, Zeke, you kidnapped Michael’s son.
Back then I told you that we ain’t done.
We ain’t done. (Listen, we ain’t done.)
We ain’t done. (Listen, we ain’t done.)
We ain’t done. (Listen, we ain’t done.)
We ain’t done.

Yeah, Zeke, you kidnapped Michael’s son.
Back then I told you that we ain’t done.
Yeah, Zeke, you kidnapped Michael’s son.
Back then I told you that we ain’t done...

Day Is Done

Not As Others (Colors of the Wind, Stephen Schwartz / Alan Menken)

"This is not your island. This is our island. And the only reason you're living on it is because we let you live on it." - Tom, The Hunting Party

LOST first introduced the "Others" early in season one, via the crazed Danielle, who was herself an other to the castaways. Our first impression of them was pretty damaging; Ethan went haywire, abducting Claire, nearly murdering Charlie and setting out to pick off the rest of the beach folks one by one until he got what he wanted. Our second, when Tom and his cronies kidnapped Walt, wasn't much better. But when he turned up again in the jungle and got to give his side of the story, the Others became a little easier to sympathize with. Here's a little reflection by Tom to the tune of Stephen Schwartz and Alan Menken's Colors of the Wind.

Not as Others

You came here to me on a mission,
But in case you haven’t noticed, I have the upper hand.
So Jack, just cool your tools,
‘Cause you don’t make all the rules.
Please listen, and perhaps you’ll understand.
Understand...

You thought you were alone upon this Island,
And at the start, you only sought to leave.
But then you came to see its finer features,
And you got kinda cocky, I believe.
You figured you could bend it to your purpose,
And when Ethan showed up, what did you do?
You turned yourself into a vigilante,
And right now you wanna raise an army too.

Have you ever thought that maybe someone brought you here?
I won’t pretend I know what he intends,
But I’m pretty sure you’re stuck with us until you
Start to see us not as Others but as friends,
Start to see us not as Others but as friends.

All right, till now we haven’t seemed too friendly,
But we have reasons you could never guess,
And maybe if you’d show a little trust, Jack,
I just might be persuaded to confess.
I’m really not that big on keeping secrets.
I’m really not that big on toting guns.
It’s time that we let go of “Us and Them” now.
When it comes down to it, we’re all chosen ones.

How long will the cycle go on?
Won’t you make it stop, with some help from John?

Won’t you think about the fact that someone brought you here?
Are better times ahead? Well, that depends,
Because I’m pretty sure you’re stuck with us until you
Start to see us not as Others but as friends.

All the world is shades of gray,
So acknowledge what I say.
Start to see us not as Others but as friends!

Fish Biscuit (Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Jerry Bock / Sheldon Harnick)

"Hey, you got yourself a fish biscuit!" - Tom, A Tale of Two Cities

When it comes to fictional food, LOST has done just about as well as Harry Potter in whetting my appetite. I'm especially taken with Apollo bars, which always seem to turn up at times when one person is showing great kindness to another, and fish biscuits, which probably aren't all that tasty but certainly must be appreciated when they're the only thing on the menu. Here's an ode to them, set in early season three, to the tune of Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick's Matchmaker, Matchmaker, from Fiddler on the Roof.

Fish Biscuit

Karl: Fish biscuit, fish biscuit,
You’re all I’ve had
For a long time. You’re not so bad,
Fish biscuit, fish biscuit.
Yet I would bet
That when you’re gone, I’ll be glad.

Kate: Fish biscuit, fish biscuit,
Shaped like a fish,
Tastes like a caged bear’s fondest wish.
Getting so hungry I’m weak in the knees
So pass me a biscuit, please.

Sawyer: Oh, Freckles tastes like strawberries,
A nice way to approach my own death.
But she had better be wary,
‘Cause I bet that I have fish biscuit breath!

Karl: Fish biscuit, fish biscuit,
You’re all I’ve had
For a long time. You’re not so bad.
Still, on the list of things I’d want to eat,
A fish biscuit is not a treat.

(spoken)
Karl: Hey. Hey, how long would it take to get to your camp?
Sawyer: What, you talking to me now, Chachi?
Karl: From where they got you, how long a walk was it? A day, two days? And what are the people like from your plane?
Sawyer: Oh, they're just awesome. Last one of you boys came for a visit got tortured by our Iraqi. He tortured me, too...
[Karl escapes his cage and tries to spring Sawyer]
Sawyer: Hey, how'd you get out of there?

(sung)
Karl: Sawyer, hey Sawyer, come on! Run away with me!
I’ve waited, I’ve planned, and now I get to flee
Because you’ll take me to your friends, right? Right!
No doubt they have their vices, but hey, they sure beat Ben,
My girlfriend’s crummy dad -
Shoot, caught again!

Tom: Hey, Ford, you rascal, well, aren’t you the clever guy?
You worked out the trick! I knew that if you’d try
You’d get yourself a fish biscuit, son.
One small thing I ought to tell you.
The bears were lots of fun.
In just a couple hours,
They got it done.

Sawyer: So you sayin’ I’m a dunce?
Tom: Now, just take it easy there.
It’s apparent to me that you’re perfectly smart and tenacious -
For a bear!

Sawyer: Fish biscuit, fish biscuit,
Guess now I know
How hobbits feel, lembas in tow.
Since I am starvin’ these things do the trick,
But boy, am I gettin’ sick
Of biscuits, crunchy and fishy.
I won’t miss them at all when we leave,
And at the beach, I won’t wish we
Had stuck a few up our sleeves.

Kate: Fish biscuit, fish biscuit,
I can’t complain. Glad I’m alive.
Still, I do feel
Fish biscuits really aren’t much of a meal.
So I’m in no doubt.
We will bust out.
Can’t wait to eat any old dish
That isn’t shaped like a fish!

Stealing Walt (Steal Away, Phil Coulter)

As I count down the days until the final season of LOST begins, one way to whet my appetite is with a few more parodies. Here's a throwback to season one to the tune of Phil Coulter's Steal Away.

Stealing Walt

Others: Stealing Walt, we’re stealing Walt.
It’s really not our fault.
When bossed by Ben,
We’re mousy men,
And so we’re stealing Walt.

Tom: We’re stealing Walt, a special kid.
I hope we seem like hicks now.
It’s tough to keep my voice so gruff,
And boy, does this beard itch now.

Others: Stealing Walt, we’re stealing Walt.
It’s really not our fault.
When bossed by Ben,
We’re mousy men,
And so we’re stealing Walt.

Tom: We’ll leave his dad in misery
And obsessed with his retrieval.
Oh, I don’t like to mess with Mike;
I’m afraid this might make him evil.

Others: Stealing Walt, we’re stealing Walt.
It’s really not our fault.
When bossed by Ben,
We’re mousy men,
And so we’re stealing Walt.

Stealing Walt, we’re stealing Walt.
It’s really not our fault.
When bossed by Ben,
We’re mousy men,
And so we’re stealing Walt.

Walkie Man (Rocket Man, Elton John / Bernie Taupin)

Here's a mid-season two rumination by that trusty Other, Tom, to the tune of Rocket Man. I don't think he ever was too keen on hurting anybody, but he sure was a loyal sidekick...

Walkie Man

Some say I'm not too bright. All right,
I'm no genius next to Ben,
But I'm glad I'm the guy he can trust again.
There's back-and-forth so much; there's so much strife.
So many in this place
Are quick to fuss and fight.

And I think it's gonna be a long, long time
Before I start to figure out the rhyme
And reason that's behind the things Ben does.
That's fine because
I'm the walkie man.
Walkie man,
Giving Ben the news in undertones. (repeat)

When I disguised my face and snatched that kid,
I played the part so well,
They don't know I care. They hate me. What I did
Is something even I don't understand;
I only listen when Ben speaks.
The walkie man, the walkie man.

And I think it's gonna be a long, long time
Before I start to figure out the rhyme
And reason that's behind the things Ben does.
That's fine because
I'm the walkie man.
Walkie man,
Giving Ben the news in undertones... (repeat)

And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time... (fade out)

The Star of My Supreme Deception (The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon)

Here's another Other-centered LOST parody in which Ben is the speaker. It assumes that Ben actually did know about his tumor before the plane crashed, which may well not be the case, but until I know otherwise I guess I'll take him at his word. Here's a little exchange between him and Tom (aka Mr. Friendly), who I take to be his right-hand man, to the tune of The Only Living Boy in New York.

The Star of My Supreme Deception

Ben: Tom, there's a plane in the sky.
I know you're happy to lie.
Try not to let them know
Those grimy clothes and that beard are for show.
Just be the man,
The star of my supreme deception.

I'll send you out to meet
Them so I won't get hurt.
Oh, I'm in charge so I can make you meet
Them so I won't get hurt.
Hey, and I'm hoping that you will pray to find
One who might get this bump off my spine
While you're the man,
The star of my supreme deception.

Half of my time is gone,
But I know he's there, yes, I know he's there.

Tom and Ben: Faaaaa-a-a-ar,
Fa-a-aaaaaaaa-a-a-ar,
Fa-a-aaaaaaaa-a-a-ar away from here,
Ben: Find that man.

Half of my time is gone,
But I know he's there, yes, I know he's there.

Tom, on that plane is a guy.
I know with him I won't have to die now.
Hey, if you care for this life of mine now,
Hurry and go there but don't let them know
You've been primed to be
The star of my supreme deception,
The star of my supreme deception.

Ben and Tom: Faaaaa-a-a-ar,
Fa-a-aaaaaaaa-a-a-ar,
Fa-a-aaaaaaaa-a-a-ar away from here,
Ben: Find that man.
Ben and Tom:Faaaaa-a-a-ar,
Fa-a-aaaaaaaa-a-a-ar,
Fa-a-aaaaaaaa-a-a-ar away from here,
Ben: Find that man.