Hugo, Lead On (Sweet Caroline, Neil Diamond)

"Hurley, you asked me to trust you. This is me trusting you." 
- Jack, Everybody Loves Hugo

Jack's used to taking the lead, but it's nice to see him step back once in a while, and Hurley seems like a good guy for him to trust. Here's Jack to the tune of Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline.

Hugo, Lead On

It was a bluff.
That was apparent to me,
Though he instructed you before.
Look, I don’t care
Why Jacob cut the chatter;
Your intuition matters more.

Hey, you did say,
“Trust me, Jack.”
This is me trusting you.

Hugo, lead on. I’m with you,
‘Cause it’s time that I let go.
Richard is gone; I’m with you.
Let’s find Locke and say, “Hello.”

On my watch,
Juliet died.
Nothing I do can fix that.
Oh, how I’ve longed to nix that fall!
You’ve made mistakes,
But they have been far fewer.
Clearly you heed a truer call.

Hey, you did say,
“Trust me, Jack.”
This is me trusting you.

Hugo, lead on. I’m with you,
‘Cause it’s time that I let go.
Richard is gone; I’m with you.
Let’s find Locke and say, “Hello.”
Yes, let’s go.

Hugo, lead on. I’m with you,
‘Cause it’s time that I let go.
Hugo, lead on. I’m with you.
Let’s find Locke and say, “Hello.”
Hugo, lead on...

The Crazy Man (Shilo, Neil Diamond)

Charlotte: When I was little, living here, there was this man... a crazy man, he really scared me. And he told me that I had to leave the island and never ever come back. He told me that if I came back I would die. Daniel: Charlotte, I don't understand.
Charlotte: Daniel – I think that man was you.
- This Place Is Death

Charlotte is one character on LOST who I've felt we didn't really get to know quite as well as I would've liked. But through Daniel, I've developed a pretty deep affection for her. Here's a reflection mostly by her in This Place Is Death, to the tune of Neil Diamond's Shilo.

The Crazy Man

Charlotte: Can’t Daddy come?
How can we leave him behind?
Sawyer: Hey, what’s with Red?
I think she’s out of her mind!

Juliet: Listen, Dan, our time’s running out now
And we’ve got to go.
Daniel: So you think I should leave her here since she’s slow?
No, no and no!

Charlotte: One long-ago July,
I met a crazy man.
He told me I would die
If I came back. Oh, Dan,
That was you.

Now I recall
That I have been here before.
Daniel, this was my home;
Lived here for three years or more.

Every time I tried to remember
This as a child,
Mum insisted my daydreams were running wild,
Just running wild.

One long-ago July,
I met a crazy man.
He told me I would die
If I came back. Oh, Dan,
Is it true?

Anthropology seemed like my ticket
To finding this place.
Now I’m seeing the warning etched in your face.
It’s in your face.

One long-ago July,
I met a crazy man.
He told me I would die
If I came back. Oh, Dan,
What to do?

Anthropology seemed like my ticket
To finding this place.
Now I’m seeing the warning etched in your face.
It’s in your face.

One long-ago July,
I met a crazy man.
He told me I would die
If I came back. Oh, Dan,
That was you.

Rose and Bernie (Cracklin' Rosie, Neil Diamond)

Rose and Bernard are, in many ways, my favorite couple on LOST. Unfortunately, they have a nasty habit of disappearing for long stretches of time, leaving their devoted fans completely hanging. This was especially egregious in seasons three and five. Now, though we've seen them in Sideways world, we're once again left to wonder what has become of them on the Island. Here, to the tune of Neil Diamond's Cracklin' Rosie, I voice the frustration my fellow Rose and Bernard lovers and I feel.

Rose and Bernie

Oh, Rose and Bernie,
Where’d you go?
Why in the world did you vanish from the show?
We gotta know!
We think it’s low
Making us love you then disappearing!
Did you want to run away,
Go someplace private and thrive there, just you two?
Give us a clue
Because without you
We’re aching inside every time that the credits roll.

Oh, we miss Bernard and Rose.
They are the Island’s perfect couple.
Our affection for them grows.

Bernie and Rose,
You were separated,
But now you’re together and we’re elated.
We hope you come back soon, for we’ve waited so long!

Show up now, show up now.
Show up, Rose and Bernie.

Rose and Bernie, happily wed,
You show us wisdom instead of all this angst,
So can we say thanks?
The romantic ranks
Fall into line right behind your brilliance, yeah.

Oh, we miss Bernard and Rose.
They are the Island’s perfect couple.
Our affection for them grows.

Bernie and Rose,
You were separated,
But now you’re together and we’re elated.
We hope you come back soon, for we’ve waited so long!

Show up now, show up now.
Show up, Rose and Bernie.

Rose and Bernie, happily wed,
You show us wisdom instead of all this angst,
So can we say thanks?
The romantic ranks
Fall into line right behind your brilliance…

I Can't Take a Shower (You Don't Bring Me Flowers, Alan & Marilyn Bergman)

This parody of You Don't Bring Me Flowers is set in LOST's first season, but it bounces around a bit, so it's a montage of moments in which various characters are disgruntled with some aspect of island life. (Didn't I catch a glimpse of Sullivan in this week's episode? Why don't we see more of him? He's annoying but endearing...)

I Can't Take a Shower

Nikki: I can't take a shower.
Charlie: I can't play my rock songs.
Shannon: It's hard for me to breathe anymore.
Sawyer: Heck, I don't have a door
To keep bandits away.

Scott: I remember when
I had a roof above me.
Steve: I sure miss my TV.
Claire: No peanut butter jars are in sight.
Hurley: It's a bummer, dude.
Folks are starting to fight.
We don't have a stove or
A fridge, and some night,
My Walkman won't have power anymore.

Jack: They tell me I'm a natural
Leader, but I never
Intended to lead people before.
Boone: Shannon lays on the shore,
Doing nothing all day.

Sun: I'd gladly be a member
Of the group; why won't he
Let us interact?
Jin: I'm protecting my wife.
We must never give up
Living our private life.
Walt: I wish I had a turn
Using Mr. Locke's knife.
Michael: Don't call me a coward anymore!

Sullivan: Man, this rash really burns,
And it's causing me strife.
Vincent: Won't somebody feed me?
I hope I'm not lost long.
Paolo: I can't take a shower anymore.