I'll Fly Those Fellas Home (The Boys Come Rollin' Home, Tommy Sands)

"Here we go, Frank.  Come on.  Come on...  Amen."
- Frank, The End

Another Frank song.  I had presumed him dead ever since The Candidate, so I was thrilled to see him turn up alive after all, and then wind up one of the big heroes of the finale.  Here's Frank to the tune of the Irish Rovers' The Boys Come Rollin' Home.

I’ll Fly Those Fellas Home

I always will remember well the strange September day
Norris flew 815 out of Sydney.
I gotta get my rest, but oversleeping doesn‘t pay,
‘Cause poor Seth, he didn’t do so great, now did he?

But I’ll get through this.  I’ll do this.  I braved the salty foam.
With some spunk and with a prayer, I will get ‘er in the air,
And I’ll fly those fellas home.

I made it to the freighter with a madman and his friend.
My chopper didn’t crash in stormy weather.
I got us off the Island and I lost the beard and then
I brought Jack and all his buddies back together.

So I’ll get through this.  I’ll do this.  I braved the salty foam.
With some spunk and with a prayer, I will get ‘er in the air,
And I’ll fly those fellas home.

Now Miles has got his duct tape, and Ricky’s by his side,
And Ben is somewhere with his walkie-talkie.
I see the Island crumblin’, and it‘s lookin’ like we‘re fried,
But it‘s tiger time; I kinda feel like Rocky!

So I’ll get through this.  I’ll do this.  I braved the salty foam.
With some spunk and with a prayer, I will get ‘er in the air,
And I’ll fly those fellas home.

We're goin’ down the runway now, and a few folks showed up late.
I wonder, is it fun to see me stressing?
But in they go, with buckles on, so Sawyer, Claire and Kate
Are part of 316 and share the blessing.

Yeah, I’ll get through this.  I’ll do this.  I braved the salty foam.
With some spunk and with a prayer, I will get ‘er in the air,
And I’ll fly those fellas home.

Yeah, I’ll get through this.  I’ll do this.  I braved the salty foam.
With some spunk and with a prayer, I will get ‘er in the air,
And I’ll fly those fellas home.

Yeah, I’ll fly those fellas home!

The Boys Come Rollin' Home

I'll Search for Jin (Don't Fence Me In, Cole Porter / Robert Fletcher)

Here's a counterpoint to I'll Search for Sun, with Sun, en route to the Island again, reflecting on her desire to find her husband, to the tune of the cowboy song Don't Fence Me In.

I’ll Search for Jin

I thought him dead, but instead,
I’ve been told that he’s alive.
I’ll search for Jin.
Even though I don’t know
How he managed to survive,
I’ll search for Jin.
While I’m worried that this is some kind of a trick,
I don’t think that Ben is quite that twisted and sick.
Skepticism’s tempting, but it’s faith I’ll pick.
I’ll search for Jin.

If it’s a lie,
If I’m groping for a hope that is entirely in vain,
Then Ben will die.
I will kill the scheming villain who has coaxed me on this plane.
But there’s a chance that it’s true, so I have to take it.
I‘ve got a goal, and I won’t forsake it.
Once, I made a promise, and I will not break it.
I’ll search for Jin.

If it’s a lie,
If I’m groping for a hope that is entirely in vain,
Then Ben will die.
I will kill the scheming villain who has coaxed me on this plane.
But there’s a chance that it’s true, so I have to take it.
I‘ve got a goal, and I won’t forsake it.
Once, I made a promise, and I will not break it.
I’ll search for Jin.

I’ll search for Jin.
Oh, yes, I’ll search for Jin.

Don't Fence Me In

The Ballad of Frank Lapidus (Pecos Bill, Eliot Daniel / Johnny Lange)

I was bummed out that Frank Lapidus was booted so ingloriously from the show, without so much as a sad word from Hurley afterward. I've always regarded Frank Lapidus as having a bit of a folk hero quality about him, so I couldn't resist memorializing him to the tune of that rollicking ode to Pecos Bill introduced to me by the Disney cowboy album Pardners.  (Post-finale note: Frank survived!  Yay!  But I figure a folk hero usually has wildly different accounts of his life, so I'll let this stand...)

The Ballad of Frank Lapidus

Well, Frank Lapidus was a pilot with a passion.
With precision, he prevented accidents.
He never crumbled in a panic when he flew for Oceanic,
Thanks to stellar skills and simple common sense.

So hip-hip-hooray, hooray! What a great guy-uy-uy.
Yeah, that Frank Lapidus really knew how to fly.
Hip-hip-hooray, hooray! What a great guy-uy-uy.
Yeah, that Frank Lapidus really knew how to fly.

Charlotte, Dan and Miles hopped in a helicopter,
And the chopper, it was piloted by Frank,
So in that bit of the Pacific, though the weather was horrific,
They all made it out, and he’s the one to thank.

So hip-hip-hooray, hooray! What a great guy-uy-uy.
Yeah, that Frank Lapidus really knew how to fly.
Hip-hip-hooray, hooray! What a great guy-uy-uy.
Yeah, that Frank Lapidus really knew how to fly.

Well, he flew Jack and his buddies off the Island -
And then three years later, flew them back again.
He shrewdly showed that he could steer a massive airplane from Ajira
To the landing strip that was engineered by Ben.

So hip-hip-hooray, hooray! What a great guy-uy-uy.
Yeah, that Frank Lapidus really knew how to fly.
I said, hip-hip-hooray, hooray! What a great guy-uy-uy.
Yeah, that Frank Lapidus really knew how to fly.

After hijacking a sub along with Sawyer,
Frank Lapidus heard a devastating boom.
It was a prelude to his dyin‘, but at least he went out flyin’
When the door sent him a-soarin’ ‘cross the room.

So hip-hip-hooray, hooray! What a great guy-uy-uy.
Yeah, that Frank Lapidus really knew how to fly.
I said, hip-hip-hooray, hooray! What a great guy-uy-uy.
Yeah, that Frank Lapidus really knew how to fly.

Pecos Bill

Where Did the Island Go? (Crying, Roy Orbison / Joe Melson)

"Where's the island? Where's the island?!"- Frank, There's No Place Like Home, Part 3

When you're planning to set down your helicopter, it's very inconvenient for the nearest land mass to suddenly disappear... Here's a season four finale LOST reflection from Frank to the tune of Roy Orbison's Crying.

Where Did the Island Go?

I got the fuel for this trip.
Left the ship for this trip.
But I feel like a fool.
Hey, Jack, this isn’t cool,
‘Cause we saw the freighter blow.
As the Island neared, it disappeared.

I should be flyin' over it, flyin' over it.
Does anyone know
Where it’s hiding? Where’d it go?
Can’t go on flyin', flyin', flyin', flyin'.
It’s hard to understand why I can’t see dry land
When I am flyin'.

No way to fly with no more fuel.
That’s a cardinal rule.
I wish we all had fins, ‘cause we’re goin’ in.
The laws of physics are cruel.
It’s a mystery, ‘cause we ought to be
Flyin' over it, flyin' over it.

That Island’s gone, so get your life vests on.
No more flyin', flyin', flyin', flyin'.
No flyin', flyin'.
Where did the Island go?

Find the Plants for Me (Take a Chance on Me, Benny Andersson / Björn Ulvaeus)

"Listen to me very carefully, John, because I'm not gonna have time to repeat this. You're gonna go into that greenhouse through that hole there. Once inside, you're gonna turn left. Go about 20 paces until you see a patch of Anthuriums on your left. They're in an alcove against the north wall. Face the wall, reach down with your left hand. You'll find a switch that activates the elevator. The elevator takes you down to the actual Orchid station." - Ben, There's No Place Like Home, Part 1

My dad is always giving me suggestions of songs to LOSTify, and today he mentioned ABBA's incredibly catchy Take a Chance on Me. That's one of those songs that just makes me grin from ear to ear when I hear it, so I knew I had to give it a shot. Here's Ben and John from the season four finale.

Find the Plants For Me

Ben: When you get inside, here’s a little guide
As to what you’ll see. Find the plants for me.
They are called Anthuriums. They’re against the wall.
Gonna have to hurry, John, ‘cause our window’s small.
There’ll be a switch that you’re gonna need to twitch.
Easy as can be. Find the plants for me.
Turn the elevator on. It’ll take you down.
Nothing left to wait for, John. Don’t you goof around.
Find the plants for me.
(John: Hey, Ben, you know this sounds crazy?)
Ben: Find the plants for me.

John: What about soldiers
Standing with rifles?
How do I avoid them?
Ben, you got me quakin’.
Am I mistaken?
Thought that we annoyed them.

Ben: John, you won’t get shot.
You worry about the plants.
I considered this in advance.
I’m ready.
I know that you think I’m nuts,
But show me you’ve got some guts.
Listen, don’t you scoff.
It’ll all pay off.

When you get inside, here’s a little guide
As to what you’ll see. Find the plants for me.
They are called Anthuriums. They’re against the wall.
Gonna have to hurry, John, ‘cause our window’s small.
There’ll be a switch that you’re gonna need to twitch.
Easy as can be. Find the plants for me.
Turn the elevator on. It’ll take you down.
Nothing left to wait for, John. Don’t you goof around.
Find the plants for me.
(John: Come on, you‘ll get me killed, won‘t you?)
Ben: Find the plants for me.

John: Give me one reason to trust you.
It would be unjust to
Throw me to the lions.
Though that would be rotten,
I’ve seen you plottin’.
You’d applaud my dyin’.

Ben: John, I give my vow,
Whatever that is worth,
That you’ve been primed from birth
To lead here.
Oh, yes, Richard yammered on,
“I hardly can wait for John!”
You will catch a break
For the Island’s sake.

When you get inside, here’s a little guide
As to what you’ll see. Find the plants for me.
They are called Anthuriums. They’re against the wall.
Gonna have to hurry, John, ‘cause our window’s small.
There’ll be a switch that you’re gonna need to twitch.
Easy as can be. Find the plants for me.
Turn the elevator on. It’ll take you down.
Nothing left to wait for, John. Don’t you goof around.

Listen, I’m a man with a master plan.
Easy as can be. Find the plants for me.
Turn the elevator on. It’ll take you down.
Nothing left to wait for, John. Don’t you goof around.

Listen, I’m a man who has got a master plan.
Easy as can be. Find the plants for me.
Turn the elevator on. It’ll take you down.
Nothing left to wait for, John. Don’t you goof around...

Hoffs-Drawlar (Hotel Caliifornia, Don Felder / Glenn Frey / Don Henley)

Funeral Director: My deepest condolences. Friend or family? Jack: Neither.
- Through the Looking Glass, Part 2

"If you do leave this place, the day may come when you want to return."
- Ben, King of the Castle


On LOST, few relationships are as complicated as the one between Jack and John. While his death brings the doctor to the brink of suicide, he can't even bring himself to identify himself as John's friend. Then again, it's hard to blame him... Here are some musings from Jack at the Hoffs-Drawlar funeral parlor in the third and fourth season finales, to the tune of the Eagles' Hotel California.

Hoffs-Drawlar

Saw your name in the paper.
I had to look twice.
I’d done too much boozing;
Maybe this was the price.
But I wasn’t mistaken.
Sometimes it stings to be right.
I made my mind up as the plane touched down.
I had to end it that night.

As I gazed at the pavement,
About to take the leap,
I felt a fierce inferno and
I heard a crunch and a scream and a beep.
Went to go play the hero
Because that’s what I do.
When I got out of the hospital,
I had to come see you.

I’m here, but I find it hard to mourn ya.
I will not pretend (I will not pretend) that I was your friend.
Sorry you’re dead, but it’s hard for me to mourn ya.
All you brought my life (all you brought my life) was a lot of strife.

You put a knife through Naomi.
I always blamed you for Boone.
You blathered on about a sacrifice...
What a goon!
You set off those explosives,
Scads of C-4.
The Flame was in flames and
The sub was no more.

All the while you insisted
I misunderstood.
You swore that every single thing you’d done was
For the Island’s good.
And when you wearied of telling me not to leave,
You encouraged the tangle of deceit
I went on to weave.

I’m here, but I find it hard to mourn ya.
I will not pretend (I will not pretend) that I was your friend.
Yeah, Jeremy Bentham, it’s hard for me to mourn ya,
With your pseudonym (with your pseudonym) and your vanished vim.

The man here informed me
That nobody else came.
Pathetic. You went out a bitter old man,
All alone and lame.
You said that we were special
And shared one common fate.
I think I might accept that now,
But I’ve found my faith too late.

Who lurks in the shadows?
Am I really seeing Ben,
And can I trust he’ll get me back
To the Island once again?
He once tried to warn me
Of the lesson I would learn:
“If you leave this place, the day may come
When you want to return.”

Hotel California

Fly On (Ride On, Jimmy MacCarthy)

In the waning hours before season six of LOST begins, I thought I'd post another song parody, this one to Ride On, as sung by Ryan Kelly, whose angsty performance definitely seems to fit Sawyer's psyche. This one hearkens back to one of my favorite moments from the season four finale, when Sawyer jumps out of the too-heavy helicopter and swims back to the Island. This song has him addressing Kate, while the "he" refers to Jack.

Fly On

True, he’s done a lot of good since we got here.
Stitched some wounds and took the lead. He helped calm the fear.
I know you think that I’ll never measure up.
Maybe this will prove to you that I can be a hero too.

Fly on. See you.
Maybe this will prove to you that I can be a hero too. (2x)

When you‘ve landed in L. A. and left me far behind,
Check up on my little girl, Clementine.
Her ma will say I stayed away ‘cause I can’t commit,
But thanks to my dive, you’ll be alive, so just chew on that a bit.

Fly on. See you.
Maybe this will prove to you that I can be a hero too. (4x)

Maybe this will prove to you that I can be a hero too. (2x)

Ride On

We Are Home (Take Me Home, Phil Coulter)

Listening to Celtic Thunder's new album, Take Me Home, gave me all sorts of fodder for filking. Here's a reflection by the speaking members of the Oceanic Six as they return to civilization, to the tune of the title track.

We Are Home

Jack: At my dad's urgin',
I became a surgeon.
Now I can focus on perfecting my skill.

Kate: I should find a lawyer,
And thanks to Sawyer,
I have a request to fulfill.

Hurley: My mom is waiting,
And I've been debating.
I might be ready to let Dad try again.

Sun: I'll have this baby,
Then I think that maybe
I'll go and track down Ben.

All: Home.
Yes, we are home,
The place we never thought we would see.
Sun: I wish that Jin was here with me.
All: But we are home!

Sayid: Nadia, where are you?
I've come too far to
Disregard the romance that I have dreamed of for years.

All: Faced with this ending,
No use pretending
Our eyes have been free of tears.

All: Home.
Yes, we are home,
The place we never thought we would see.
Kate: I wish that Sawyer was with me.
All: But we are home!

Jack: We are home after months away.
Hurley: Now I wonder if we'll stay.

Jack: Home.
(Sun and Kate: Jin and Sawyer.)
Sayid: Yes, we are home.
(Jack and Hurley: Claire and Charlie.)
Kate: The press is making a mighty fuss
(Sayid: Who knew that only six of us would return?)
Hurley: We wish our friends
(Sun: I'm so lonely)
Hurley: Were here with us.
(Sun: And I'm yearning to be with him again.)
Jack: But we are home!

Jack: Home.
(Sun and Kate: Jin and Sawyer.)
Sayid: Yes, we are home.
(Jack and Hurley: Claire and Charlie.)
Kate: The press is making a mighty fuss
(Sayid: Who knew that only six of us would return?)
Hurley: We wish our friends
(Sun: I'm so lonely)
Hurley: Were here with us.
(Sun: And I'm yearning...)
Jack: But we are home!
All: We are home!

Penny Hume (Penny Lane, Paul McCartney)

Over the weekend, thousands of geeks converged in San Diego for the 2009 Comic-Con. Though I wasn't one of them, through the magic of eBay, I did manage to snag an official Ben Linus bobblehead, which captures the after-effects of his confrontation with Penny and Desmond in the fifth season. Here, then, to the tune of the Beatles' Penny Lane, is an ode to Penny, who's had to put up with an awful lot as Desmond's One True Love.

Penny Hume

Poor Penny Hume was separated from the one she loves.
He disappeared for years before the two were wed.
Though many others would have thought him dead,
She had faith instead.

In The Searcher she endeavored to discover him.
A chat with Charlie proved her hope was not in vain.
When she found him, nothing could restrain
Desmond's utter bliss.
What a kiss!

Penny Hume is Desmond's long-awaited wife.
She'd become the constant in his life,
The one who rescued him.

When Penny Hume and Desmond left the Oceanic Six,
They knew they'd have to have their wedding on the run.
In circumstances that were far from fun,
Penny bore a son.

Penny Hume has got a complicated life.
Ben is sowing seeds of strife.
He plots a mean attack

While Desmond steers his little family to Los Angeles
To meet the spooky mom of Daniel Faraday.
He doesn't mean to put her in harm's way,
But Ben plans to slay

Poor Penny Hume, whose father Widmore is a scallywag.
She doesn't want a jot to do with his affairs.
But avenging Benji doesn't care
That she's unaware.
So unfair!

Penny Hume is begging Ben to show some grace.
Then the boy named after Charlie Pace
Turns up and Ben relents.
Penny Hume is both a daughter and a wife,
But the role of mother saved her life.
Penny Hume.

Some Thoughts on the Season Four Finale Before I Retire for the Summer...

I've been avoiding blogging about the LOST finale since I know I have so much to say about it, and since I figure I'll never remember it all at once, and it'll probably take me hours to get it all down. I wrote ten pages about last year's finale, and I liked this year's so much better. By that measure, it seems like it ought to go on for what... 20 pages? But nobody wants to read that.

In some ways, There's No Place Like Home Part II was less ground-breaking than Through the Looking Glass, since much of what we saw was stuff that we already knew would happen, particularly the rescue of the Oceanic Six. But there were so many details we didn't know about - such as the fact that Penny rescued them. I'd like to think that Charlie's death did some little bit of good in helping Penny keep the faith, though it's not like she had to wait too long after that before she talked to Desmond. I guess the point is that Charlie had to die one way or another, and better in one of the most gorgeous, self-sacrificial death scenes ever than with an arrow to the neck. Blech.

Charlie's death bothered me, but not nearly as much as the fact that it achieved the exact opposite of what he had hoped. I just found last year's finale so depressing on so many levels. So much pointless carnage. I never liked Jack's beach massacre to begin with, especially considering the fact that they were all leaving to get rescued anyway. What would have happened if Ryan and the gang had gotten there and found the camp empty? I don't know. Complications for sure. But that doesn't mean I condone Jack throwing the Hippocratic Oath out the window and doing great harm. Of course, Sayid, Jin and Bernard were in on it too, and Sawyer and Hurley participated as well - though I tend to give Hurley a pass since his intention was primarily to rescue rather than to kill, and perhaps Ryan needn't have died if he hadn't insisted on standing right in the van's way and shooting at Hurley. Anyway, ten dead Others on the beach. Ben should have sent them off to the Temple instead of on their kidnapping mission. Nobody seemed to be thinking too clearly. But what a waste.
What a waste, too, to kill Naomi, which accomplished absolutely nothing. And Charlie going down into the hatch resulted not only in his own death but in Bonnie, Greta and Mikhail's as well. And by extension, the presumption is that Keamy and the gang's landing was facilitated by the Island making radio contact with the ship. So I consider The Shape of Things to Come a bookend to Through the Looking Glass, with Charlie's actions, so well-intentioned, resulting in the deaths of every member of Camp Locke, with the exception of Ben, John, Hurley, Sawyer, Aaron and possibly Claire. And Claire is a big fat maybe. What. A. Mess. And the good guys are at least partly to blame for all of it, whether intentionally or not.

There was death in this season's finale too, but it didn't feel like as much of a bloodbath, and the castaways were victims or acting in self-defense. Keamy's guys make the Others look like a bunch of pussycats, so I can't feel too badly about them getting killed. I thought maybe some of redshirt mercenaries might make it, but it never got to that point; it was just complete combat, with Richard and the gang doing most of the dirty work, though Sayid's hand-to-hand battle with Keamy was pretty impressive. I worried for him for a minute, before I remembered he was safe; kinda takes the edge off some of these scenes when the survival of some is so certain! For a moment, I allowed myself to think Keamy was taken care of, but of course there was that explosive device to be concerned about, which would have made a big mess if he's actually died that early on. What was he thinking, anyway, baiting Ben like that? Did he have a death wish? After surviving such a brutal fight, if I were Keamy, I'd think I would just be glad to be alive. Forget Ben! Run away, Keamy, and never return! And honestly, it seems to me Keamy is the only one Ben should be blaming for Alex's death, and he got his vengeance as bloodthirstily as he possibly could. Why drag Widmore into it - and especially Penny? I swear, Ben, if you kill her, I'm giving up on you altogether...

Now, Jin... That's troublesome. The scene with Sun flying away from Jin was horrible, and I was a little upset with him for not having left just a minute or two earlier... though of course he was trying to save everyone on the ship. That scene of him maneuvering his way through the corridors reminded me a lot of Titanic. Bad times... But maybe it's the eternal optimist in me - I'm still not 100% convinced Jin is dead. I think Sun is convinced, but all we actually saw was Jin running and the ship blowing up, right? No kind of actual close-up on him? I want to re-watch the episode and haven't yet, but the ship blew up from the middle, and it seemed he was close enough to the edge he might have been able to jump off the edge and cling to somebody in a lifejacket. (Again, I *think* most of the people on the ship got off and were floating in the water, but with the island gone, where can they go? Seems like their only hope is another ship passing by, and how likely is it that those who were castaways would not identify themselves as crash survivors, thus making it the Oceanic 12 or 18 or whatever?)

I've been worried about where Sun's going ever since The Glass Ballerina, when we saw a much darker side to her than we're used to. Seeing her in the future with her father makes me wonder if ruthless business mogul is her future. I certainly hope not. It also makes me feel sorry for Widmore for the second time this season, even though I've been saying for ages that he's more malevolent than Ben. He looked really haggard in the last episode. Was that before or after Ben threatened Penny? It's interesting that Sun blames him for Jin's death. Because it was his ship? Or she figures rigging the ship with explosives was his idea? There's a long string of people, from Daniel and Juliet to Desmond and Jin himself, who could be considered as having an accidental hand in his death. Widmore's so removed from everything that has happened on the Island this season, again, I'm not sure it makes much sense to go after him from a vengeance point of view.


It's a shame that Michael died - and I am pretty positive he did, since he was at the dead center of things and creepy Christian even showed up to give him his exit papers - but I guess under the circumstances it was sort of a relief. I would have rather seen him be able to go back home and rebuild a life with Walt, but I'm glad that he at least was able to do some good. Assuming some of those people did get off the boat; if not, I don't know that he actually did accomplish much... In Michael's episode, Ben told him not to blow up the ship because there were innocent people on board and he didn't want to kill them if he could avoid it. It was a nice bit of humanity from Ben, but I don't know what his plan was beyond that. Seems like in reality, everybody on the freighter was decent except for the mercenaries. If something could have just been done to keep them from getting to the island - disabling the helicopter seems like it would've been a good start, and within the realm of possibility for tech-savvy Michael - a whole lot of trouble could have been avoided. Anyway, though, I'm glad he managed to redeem himself in some sense, and to do it without killing anybody. I suppose one of the reasons the Oceanic Six didn't contact Walt was that they wouldn't have wanted to deal with questions about Michael. Who wants to break the news to a kid that his dad blew up? And they must have known, especially with Desmond joining them. I don't blame Hurley for his evasion on that topic when Walt came to visit. Incidentally, what's with Christian being the Angel of Death? His presence was especially weird because he and Michael had nothing to do with each other. I can't decide if it was creepy or comforting; it kind of reminded me of the Black Rabbit at the end of Watership Down, which is one of my favorite book endings ever.

Speaking of rabbits, I love that last year's finale was a reference to Lewis Carroll and this year's showed us "time-traveling bunnies," which just happened to be white. The first ones making the magical journey into the future, just like Alice's White Rabbit into Wonderland. Speaking of weird hatch stuff, I loved that John couldn't find the Arthuriums; when Ben said that the episode before, I said, "What makes him think John has any idea what those look like?"


I'm so conflicted about Ben. I'm pretty steamed at him for setting off the dynamite; on the other hand, I can't figure out how anybody on the island could feel safe if Keamy was still alive. Maybe they could keep him locked up in that big room where they kept Locke's dad last season... If that didn't get blown up when Keamy stormed "New Otherton," which I suppose it probably did... Anyway, Ben sure isn't much of a heroic character, and I'm pretty unsettled by what we've seen of his future. But I can't help seeing him as an anti-hero rather than a villain, and I really did feel bad for him this season, especially since The Shape of Things to Come. He's been through quite an ordeal. And after all that, in order to save the Island he has to banish himself...

The sense I'm getting is that Ben never really was supposed to be in charge at all, that Locke is "the chosen one" but since circumstances kept intervening to keep him from getting to the Island, Ben was his somewhat unsuitable replacement. I've been hearing rumors that Ben and John may actually be brothers, which actually seems somewhat plausible and would add another whole layer to the making-John-kill-Anthony-Cooper weirdness, presuming he is the father of both. Or could they both be like Anakin, the result of virgin births? I feel like that's getting a little too out there; I'll stick with Cooper, I think.


Speaking of strange familial connections, I'm really curious about Charlotte's relation to the Island. Didn't she say she was born there? The way I figure it Charlotte is probably in her late 20s, which means that she could conceivably be Ben's daughter. Maybe he got Annie pregnant and she was taken off the Island to deliver the baby and never came back, and that's why he was so adamant against Juliet taking the pregnant women elsewhere. (Though that would mean she was conceived, not born on the Island; I'm assuming women then couldn't give birth on the Island, but maybe they could...) You'd think she would have mentioned Ben to Charlotte, but maybe not. Or maybe Charlotte was born but Annie died in childbirth. Or... I don't know. Charlotte probably has nothing to do with Annie. But I'm so eager for answers on that front I'll take any potential leads that seem to pop up.

I don't know what Daniel and his raft people are going to do. I figure they're in the same boat as the people in the water, and I can't imagine they're just going to kill off everybody who was in the water when the Island disappeared. (More irony; if Daniel hadn't been so proactive about rescuing people from the Island, they would've been in much better shape. Especially Jin. Though it sounds like things go pretty sour on the Island itself...) I would love it if next season, Rose becomes the leader of the beach people, though it will probably be Sawyer, unless John shows up to make them all one big happy family.

I will say that I'm very happy with Sawyer this season. He didn't kill a single person (or even a tree frog or polar bear!). True, he threatened John and he came close to killing Ben, but aside from those isolated incidents, this season has been all about him embracing his better nature, with Hurley as his guide. He really put himself in harm's way throughout the season, and I thought jumping out of the helicopter was a spectacular gesture. (Of course, I was a little surprised to see him in there, partly because he wasn't one of the Oceanic Six and partly because he didn't seem to keen on leaving, but I guess he changed his mind.) For a long time, I've thought of Sawyer as the Han Solo of LOST, and I think he's gone from anti-hero to flat-out hero.


Speaking of heroes, I was so relieved about Desmond too, especially after first being shut up with the dynamite all that time and then almost drowning after the crash. (Jack saving him gave me a flashback to him saving Charlie season one, though Desmond's revival seemed to come a lot more quickly than that one. Thank goodness; how awful if he would've died within minutes of reuniting with Penny... Incidentally, I read an article in which the writer said he thought the whole episode was priming us to think it was Desmond in the casket, but I never really thought so; what reason would Jack have to feel so ambivalent toward him, and Kate so downright hostile?)

I love Jack, but I'm getting really sick of his hard-headedness. I'm glad he finally relented and took John's advice about lying to the world. But after all the things he's seen on the Island - and heck, after repairing Sarah's spine - how can he be so sure of himself all the time? He was wrong about being able to fix Sarah. He was wrong about Bernard being alive. He was wrong about the purpose of entering the numbers. He's been wrong about so many things, yet he always acts as though any view other than the one he has must be unequivocally wrong. Maybe his rather pathetic argument with Hurley after the Island disappeared was his desperate last grasp trying to prove the world worked according to his rules. Probably not though. I think a rather narrow view of things is just a part of who Jack is.

I'd say we're definitely going to be seeing Desmond and Penny again, but I have a feeling they and Frank are going to be relegated to pretty occasional status, which bums me out. Desmond's my favorite post-season one character, and Frank is tied for my favorite season four newbie. Penny never has been around much, but now she finally seems like one of the gang. (By the way, I loved Jack's "See you in another life, brother," though I was hoping for a little man-hug to accompany it; I get the sense, though, that aside from Penny, Desmond's not much of a hugger!) Penny still has a major role to play yet, and presumably Desmond will be fully wrapped up in that, but I don't want to think too much about the possibilities for their storyline, since we left them in such a happy place. I'd like to pretend they don't have to worry about any more unpleasantness after this. Their reunion was absolutely thrilling - though I still think The Constant trumps it. Here, finding each other seemed inevitable if they could manage to survive; in the other, it had been years since the last contact, and Desmond's very life depended on Penny answering. An absolutely perfect scene. I also like that not only did Desmond get the happiest moment of the episode, he also got several great lines, chief among them his "boom" speech.

I should have felt really shattered at seeing Locke in the coffin. He's been one of my favorites since the beginning, despite his rather erratic behavior (and it was nice to see him so concerned about the people on the freighter). I figured he was one of the major possibilities, but I just kept thinking there was no way he would leave that island willingly. So was he forced, or did he leave because things were so desperate he felt he had no choice but to get the Oceanic Six back? And how did he get back? Did he move the Island again? If that were the case, I would think he wouldn't be able to come back - but maybe it doesn't matter since he's dead, or maybe the not-coming-back thing wasn't Ben being punished so much as just the natural consequence of his Island-moving, and if he can find his way back, maybe he will be allowed to return after all. I guess part of the reason I'm not feeling properly mournful is that the only really compelling reason I can see for needing to bring Locke back is that his connection with the Island is so strong, he can not only come back from paralysis and near-death when he's there, he can be revived like Spock in The Search for Spock. It's probably just wishful thinking, but there's so much weird metaphysical stuff happening on that show I'm willing to think it possible. (By the way, I thought Ben's farewell and apology to him were fantastic. What a complicated relationship...)

Speaking of the dead, I loved the extra bit at the press conference - just a couple of minutes, but I found it extremely gratifying. Ever since Kate's episode, one of my biggest questions has been who else, according to their story, survived the crash but then died? I was thinking it was just two extra people but wasn't thinking about the fact that Aaron was born later. I was really hoping that Boone and Charlie would be the two, so I cheered a little when Jack identified them. He also said Libby was one of the ones who died. She wasn't as obvious a choice since their was no sacrificial element to her death, but I tihnk she was a good choice. Anyway, that makes me more hopeful that maybe Liam will pop up in one of these flash-forwards, especially since Damon said in LOST Magazine that we probably haven't seen the last of the DS ring. I also liked the fact that Eko got a little nod via Hurley.


I was glad to see Rose again, though it seems like almost every time she's opened her mouth this season, she's been saying something snarky. We've got Sawyer for that... I was surprised he didn't have to undergo any obstacles to "rescue" Hurley, but it worked out rather nicely. And of course, jumping into the ocean from a helicopter was a very dramatic way to save his friends. Good thing he reached the shore before Ben turned that wheel. Juliet sitting around drinking reminded me a lot of Live Together, Die Alone, as did the sky turning purple. And of course, Desmond's storyline came full circle with Penny. I really think he deserves an Emmy nod for this season, and I'd love to see him nominated, especially since he probably won't be a regular from now on. But I really think this is Michael Emerson's year for the Emmy. He was absolutely haunting in this episode, and really every episode in the second part of the season (except the Jack one that he wasn't involved in). I'm rooting for you, Michael! Speaking of Kate's home life, what was up with that dream? Was it really Claire? The Smoke Monster? Kate's subconscious trying to convince her not to return to the Island? Whatever it was, it was pretty freaky.

At the beginning of the episode, Kate said "I've spent the last three years trying to forget what happened the day we left," so that puts Locke's death in late 2007/early 2008. I was thinking they would probably end the series in 2010, but now I'm not so sure. If they're gonna go back there with John in tow, seems to me they're going to have to do it pretty quickly. I doubt they're going to want to be dragging around a body that's been dead for two years. But maybe once they return, we'll see a couple years into the future yet again? I'm guessing that in the end, whoever is left of the original castaways will probably wind up staying on the Island, especially considering how miserable the Oceanic Six are post-Island. Maybe not, though; it'll be interesting to see!

I'm curious about what they're going to do in the interim; sharp-eyed Nathan caught an ad during the broadcast for Octagon Recruiting, which is related to Dharma and touts a conference in July when all of these opportunities can be explored (curiously, the same date and city as 2008's Comic-Con ;) ) and the ABC website has a massive LOST landscape that has about a hundred clickable objects and some kind of complicated contest that, again, could potentially result in the prize of a free ride to Comic-Con. It's in San Diego; if I were Benjamin, I'd be so there!


I'm not, so I'll have to content myself with sitting around and picking apart the last season and hopefully writing a new string of poems and filks about it. I think I may be coming out of my dry spell. I know I have more to say about the finale. But this covers most of it. Surprisingly enough, this finale left me feeling pretty good about the way things are headed, at least in comparison to last year. It's a pretty nice place to leave everyone for the summer and fall. I will be returning...

LOST Goes From Alice to Dororthy, But This Is Hardly Child's Play...

So we have come once again to the LOST finale. Instead of Alice in Wonderland, it's The Wizard of Oz this time, and our friends are just a couple of heel clicks away from Kansas. There's No Place Like Home. But what happens to the scarecrow, the tin man and the cowardly lion? A whole lot of people aren't getting off the island. In fact, at this point, it seems it would be much better if nobody else got off the island, since the people on the freighter presumably aren't making it back to the mainland, or it would be the Oceanic Nine, at the least. Or are they just taking on different identities like Michael did?

I'm worried about this episode. For one thing, I usually find the rescue scenario rather depressing in these types of stories. Nuts, I know, but whatever. Mostly, though, I'm worried because I think a lot of bad things will happen before the rescue. They seem to want to top themselves in terms of intensity with each finale. Fifteen people died in Through the Looking Glass, plus that mysterious someone in the future. Are we in for another massacre?

Keamy's the only one I really want to lose, and maybe his lackeys. LOST seems to have established a pattern since season two of introducing a new group of characters and killing most of them off by the end of the season. That makes me very worried for Daniel, Frank, Charlotte and Miles. I think it's almost inevitable one of them isn't going to make it through the episode, and I wouldn't be too shocked if it's more than that. Frank is probably the most heroic and likable of the bunch, with Daniel a close second. That puts them in a very vulnerable position.

Jin also gives me reason to worry. He's on the freighter, but he doesn't get rescued. When Sun told her father that two people were responsible for Jin's death, that sounded like a pretty specific reference to me. Sticking to the script, she wouldn't be able to tell him what she really meant, but I suspect something will happen to him on that freighter, and that thought upsets me. (I'm also a little concerned about that trick she pulled on her father; he had it coming, but I don't want to see her turn into a ruthless CEO like him.) Michael and Desmond worry me too, though they could maybe go back with the freighter folks incognito. I suppose Desmond might want to do that, and then confront Charles and let him know that he made it after all and that Penny still loves him. Or just strike out and look for Penny on his own. I loved his Panic Face when he discovered the explosives; more deranged-looking than we've seen him since Live Together, Die Alone. But that stuff is bad news. And Nathan figures it's rigged up to Keamy somehow, so if somebody takes him down on the island, the ship might go down too.

I would love it if Sawyer was done killing people. I really would. Sure, he threatened both Ben and Locke this season, but he didn't follow through. Basically, he went from mercenary to hero, largely because of Hurley. What a good influence. But he seems like one of the most likely candidates to kill off Keamy, which I basically think has to happen, lest everyone on the island get annihilated. Then again, Locke and Sayid can certainly hold their own, and Smokey has much more reason to be irritated with Keamy than with Eko. Anyway, he has a lot of enemies. And somehow I doubt we're ever going to be given a glimpse of his humanity. I guess it's about time the show had an utterly unambiguous villain...

Speaking of which, looking back at last season's finale, if Mikhail had done what he did about ten minutes earlier, it would have saved everyone on the island, at least for the time being. Ironic. Everyone would have been so much better off if Charlie had never gone down into that hatch in the first place, and in trying to save Claire's life, it looks like he got her killed. It also looks like Desmond was lying about seeing Claire get into the chopper, just as a way to get Charlie to agree to sacrifice himself. He probably figured it would happen, but I don't think he actually saw it. How very frustrating...

Anyway, part one of the finale was good, though I didn't like it as much as Cabin Fever. But there was quite a bit packed into there. The rescue, which none of the castaways looked all that happy about, at least while they were on the plane. I suppose they were in shock, as Sun said. The press conference was somewhat revelatory, though we still don't know the deal behind their fabricated story. The reunion was happy at least, especially Hurley, and I thought it was very sweet that when he noticed Sayid didn't have anyone waiting for him, he rushed him over to introduce him to his parents. Poor Kate didn't have anybody; I would've thought Sam Austen would have shown up, but I suppose her being a fugitive complicates things. Still, it seemed like the two of them were really close, and she must've been very hurt that he didn't come. I hate that we got cheated out of a truly joyful reunion between Sayid and Nadia; it was such a beautiful moment, but it's kinda hard to really enjoy it when you know she's going to be murdered in a few months.

They finally cleared the air with Claire being Jack's sister, and poor Jack looked like he was about to throw up. I'm guessing that he doesn't see Claire again before he leaves the island. So whether or not she's dead, he probably thinks she is, and he must feel horrible about it. Besides, it would be a huge shock to realize this girl he got to know so well on the island was actually the sister he never knew he had. A little like Luke and Leia, but he couldn't share his revelation with her. I thought the scene with Hurley's party was really funny - especially his mother's comment about Jesus Christ not being a weapon - but also sad. He's not adjusting well to post-island life. The incident with the car was really spooky; I don't think his dad rigged the numbers that way. It would have been in really poor taste for him to pull something like that, and he seemed almost as surprised by it as Hurley. I think he genuinely wants to make a fresh start with his son, and it's a shame those nefarious numbers had to ruin such a touching moment. Just goes to show, I suppose, that the island isn't through with Hurley yet.

On the island, I love the fact that Sawyer put himself in harm's way for the sake of others, first by joining Jack, then by insisting they rescue Hurley - though it's a shame they couldn't spring Frank first... There are a lot of parallels in Hurley and Sawyer's stories. Most notably, perhaps, in the season two finale, Hurley, upon learning that Michael killed Libby, refrains from vengeance, while Sawyer kills Tom out of revenge in the season three finale. Also in that finale, Hurley rescues Sawyer, so this time, it's up to Sawyer to rescue Hurley, thereby perhaps dispersing all his bad karma once and for all. I'm not too worried about him, since Jack and Kate's future conversation seems to indicate that he is alive when they leave the island. I do feel like he's been slightly ripped off this season, though, without a single centric episode. They could rectify that with the finale, but I don't think they will.

More likely than not, since it's a Part Two, it will follow the same flash-forward pattern as the first part, and we'll be seeing a lot of the Oceanic Six off the island, especially Jack and Hurley. But what I'd really love, now that he's finally decide to show up again, is a Richard flashback-forward. With two hours, I figure they could start in the past - which could mean hundreds of years for all we know - and wind up in the future, which needs to be incorporated somehow if we're going to find out who's in the coffin. This way, we might actually get to see some of Danielle's backstory first-hand even though she was so unceremoniously killed off, and maybe we'd get some of the scoop on Annie too. He knows the island better than just about anybody, so we'd get all kinds of juicy tidbits. And he leaves the island, or at least he did; I'm not sure the destruction of the submarine would necessarily keep him from taking off. So he could witness the death of whoever's in the coffin. Or cause it. Heck, he could be in there himself, but since at this point we've never even seen Jack interact with Richard, that seems a little unlikely.

Still, a possibility. Assuming the deceased is someone we know, I think that leaves a pretty small pool of candidates. It has to be somebody Jack doesn't like very much but still feels very strongly about. Locke would be one option, but I just can't see him leaving the island unless somebody gives him the bind and gag treatment his father got. Could be Michael, but surely at least his mother would go to the funeral, unless she didn't realize who he was because of the name Kevin Johnson. But I'm not really feeling that scenario too much. Maybe one of the freighter people, too, but I'm not sure he's associated with them enough to have that strong of feelings about them.

At this point, I'm practically positive it's Ben in that coffin, which makes me sad if it's true, but then that would be true no matter who it is. We know Ben is off the island in the future, and there's probably not anybody who would bother coming to his funeral. Sayid, maybe, but he might find that a risky move considering the circumstances of their association with each other. Whoever killed Ben might come after him too. Unless he killed Ben, in which case he certainly wouldn't be likely to show up to mourn him. Hurley, who always spoke at the island funerals and actually got to know Ben a little bit, might have attended too, but at this point he's probably still in the mental institution and pretty out of touch with the outside world. He probably wouldn't know, and even if he did, he probably couldn't just check himself out to go to a funeral. Anyway, it certainly would be understandable for Jack not to consider Ben a friend. However, it would also make sense that his death would send him into a spiral of despair, considering that Ben tried so hard to stop him from contacting the freighter, and it turned out he was telling the truth about their intentions, or at least Keamy's. And of course, Kate wouldn't want anything to do with Ben. Presumably the newspaper would have an alias there instead of "Ben Linus," but maybe there's a picture, or maybe Jack knows his pseudonym du jour. Or maybe it's not Ben at all. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

When Ben told John to take a look at the plants at the Orchid Station, I was hoping he was pointing to some really weird vegetation, like Venus Fly Traps or something like that. Alas, nothing but a bunch of trigger-happy guys. What a way to end the episode, with Keamy knocking Ben out. If he can't kill somebody, he's at least going to beat him to a bloody pulp. Yeesh. It's odd how immediately Ben 180-ed from victim back to leader. So much for me thinking John was calling the shots now. As soon as Ben heard, "He wants us to move the island," he took charge, and John was in the dark again. Hurley, too, of course. I got a little chuckle out of his warning about the 15-year-old crackers. It was a derisive comment, but it might have also been a useful cautionary note. As for the mirror signal, the presumption was that he was communicating with Jacob, but could it also have been Richard, and that's why we're suddenly seeing the Others again? Did Ben tell them to come? Why would he do that, though, if the Temple is the only place where they're safe? Does he intend for them to launch an attack on Keamy?

I loved the little bit of Frank that we got in this episode, but more than that, I loved Daniel, who really went into hero mode with his ferrying of survivors. I found it interesting that he didn't put Charlotte on the first boat. I suppose she was there to corral the rest of the castaways, but she didn't look too happy about it. Maybe she was worried about Daniel, but she also seemed hurt that he didn't take her along. If it's so crucial to get off the island, she has good reason to be nervous. For both of them. Of all the freighter folk, I have a feeling Dan is the most vulnerable right now. He could wipe out on his raft. He could get caught up in the time differential vortex. Desmond could die, and his brain could lose his anchor. (Don't, Desmond. Don't you dare!) Of my cream of the crop, Hurley is safe, at least in the present. John is too crucial to the island mythology to die yet, I think. Desmond's on the shakiest ground. I've got my fingers crossed for him.

I hope that tonight's episode will not be as calamitous as last year's. It probably will be. But hopefully there will at least be enough bright spots to keep it from being entirely depressing. I hope Rose and Bernard have a lot to do, or at least a little, and I'm really eager to see just what sort of miracle John is going to bring about. I want something beautiful to sustain me through all that is bound to be unpleasant. Will this be my favorite finale yet? I suspect not. But I'm sure it will be brilliant.