Little Ben (Run For Your Life, John Lennon / Paul McCartney)

Little Ben: I really hate it here.  If I let you out... will you take me with you, to your people?

Sayid: Yes, Ben, I will.  That's why I'm here.
- He's Our You

I've been trying to find my way back into filking, and the other day, I heard the Beatles' Run For Your Life for the first time.  It got stuck so firmly in my head that it became my natural starting point.  Here's Sayid coaxing Little Ben into trusting him in season five; the words all seem soothing, but there's a sinister undertone as he has ulterior motives.  

Little Ben

Well, your father’s in your head, Little Ben.

He’s a hard and unfeeling man.

Ignore the things he said, Little Ben.

Now’s the time to take a stand.

You haven’t much of a life with this clan, Little Ben.

I’m the key to your plan, Little Ben.

Put your future in the hands

Of a friend, Little Ben.

Well, I admit, at first I wondered why

I ended up here to be confined.

But purpose now has filled my mind.

How could I have been so blind?

You haven’t much of a life with this clan, Little Ben.

I’m the key to your plan, Little Ben.

Put your future in the hands

Of a friend, Little Ben.

Will your father squirm,

Or will he write you off for dead?

You may never learn;

You’ll find a Hostile home instead.

You haven’t much of a life with this clan, Little Ben.

I’m the key to your plan, Little Ben.

Put your future in the hands

Of a friend, Little Ben.

Your father’s in your head, Little Ben,

He’s a hard and unfeeling man.

Ignore the things he said, Little Ben.

Now’s the time to take a stand.

You haven’t much of a life with this clan, Little Ben.

I’m the key to your plan, Little Ben.

Put your future in the hands

Of a friend, Little Ben.

Little Ben, Little Ben, Little Ben…

You're the Best (Be Our Guest, Alan Menken / Howard Ashman)

"You're the best, Dr. Linus!"
- Alex, Dr. Linus

The relationship between Ben and his adopted daughter Alex has been full of angst and complications, but in season six, we got to see the two of them relating to each other with much greater ease and warmth. Here's a celebration of Sideways Ben and Alex, to the tune of Be Our Guest, from Beauty and the Beast.

You’re the Best

Alex: You’re the best, you’re the best.
Dr. Linus, you’re the best.
Without you, what would I do?
I’d have no clue! I’d flunk the test!
Though you say I’ll be fine,
My whole future’s on the line.
I don’t trust my comprehension.
When I heard you had detention,
I was bummed. I was scared
I would never be prepared.
But you’ve rescued me, and boy, am I impressed!
Though Reynolds may ignore you,
I’m so thankful for you.
You’re the best, you’re the best, you’re the best.

Ben: I was down and distressed.
Bless this unexpected guest!
Teens like her make teaching worth it,
Despite aspects I detest:
Reynolds’ rude attitude,
Students’ base ingratitude.
Let’s dispense with all this whining
And get back to our fine dining.
Look, my life’s not so bad,
So let’s keep our chins up, Dad.
Don’t feel guilty; just enjoy your turkey breast.
I’ve done a few things right.
She helped me see the light
‘Cause she’s the best.
I feel blessed
To acknowledge her request.
She’s the best, she’s the best, she’s the best.

Who‘s to say that leaving
Is a choice we should be grieving?
If we’d stayed, we might have made a big mistake.
Even though I left my truest friend there,
I’ve become a mentor for her sake.
These students... They need me,
And when we came back, you freed me
To deny myself and seek the greater good.
Turns out I’m a teacher, not a doctor.
Dad, who was I fooling,
Getting all that extra schooling?

[Next Day]
Alex: I am stressed, I am stressed,
‘Cause if I don’t pass this test,
Then I’ll fail to go to Yale.
I will be stuck here in the west.
Gotta work up the nerve
To go ask Reynolds the perv
For a nice recommendation -

Ben: Wait, did he abuse his station?
I’ve been wanting a change.
Would it really be so strange
If I used this little tidbit to protest?
I‘d love to stage a coup,
But I will not hurt you,
So I’ll stay dressed in this vest
And arrest this whole quest.

[Later]
Alex: You’re the best, you’re the best,
And though you have not confessed,
Reynold’s letter was much better
Than I ever would have guessed,
So I think what occurred
Is you put in a good word.
Yes, if my appeal advances,
It’s because you helped my chances.
Off to college I’ll go
With the knowledge you bestow,
And if anybody asks, I will attest
That if you want the finest,
Go with Dr. Linus;
He’s the best.
You’re the best, you’re the best.
Yes, you’re the best!

Just Because He's John (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, Richard & Robert Sherman)

As of the season five finale of LOST, Ben Linus appears to be a very broken man. While I hated Ben's ultimate actions in his last scene of The Incident, his frustration seems understandable. Here's his little rant to Jacob to the tune of the Sherman Brothers' Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

Just Because He’s John

So, just because he’s John, you let him march in here like Moses.
Following you hasn’t really been a bed of roses.
What about me, Jacob? Can’t you see why I oppose this?
Just because he’s John, you let him march in here like Moses!

I’m just a pitiful, unloved little guy.
I’m just a pitiful, unloved little guy.
I’m just a pitiful, unloved little guy.
I’m just a pitiful, unloved little guy.

I longed to be your lackey when I was a lonely lad.
My final test of loyalty was killing my own dad.
I shivered as he shuddered and the blood poured out his nose,
But, sure that you would love me more, said, “That’s the way it goes.”

But just because he’s John, you let him march in here like Moses.
Following you hasn’t really been a bed of roses.
What about me, Jacob? Can’t you see why I oppose this?
Just because he’s John, you let him march in here like Moses!

I’m just a pitiful, unloved little guy.
I’m just a pitiful, unloved little guy.
I’m just a pitiful, unloved little guy.
I’m just a pitiful, unloved little guy.

Those lists and the instructions Richard handed down to me...
I did what I was told to and I waited patiently.
Though John was in a wheelchair, he came here, and he was fine;
My service was rewarded with a tumor on my spine.

For just because he’s John, you let him march in here like Moses.
Following you hasn’t really been a bed of roses.
What about me, Jacob? Can’t you see why I oppose this?
Just because he’s John, you let him march in here like Moses!

I’m just a pitiful, unloved little guy.
I’m just a pitiful, unloved little guy.

[Spoken] Jacob: Benjamin... whatever he's told you, I want you to understand one thing. You have a choice.
Ben: What “choice”?

For more than 30 years, I went along with all your plans.
You banished me and left my daughter’s murder on my hands.
It’s clear now that you’ve never cared for me in all my life.

[Spoken] Well, here goes, then.

You couldn’t just apologize, so now you get the knife!

[Spoken] I would fight back if I were you...

Oh, just because he’s John, you let him march in here like Moses!
Just because he’s John, you let him march in here like Moses!
Just because he’s John, you let him march in here like Moses!
Just because he’s John, you let him march in here like Moses!

In the D. I. (Under the Sea, Alan Menken / Howard Ashman)

Ben Linus comes by his grousing honestly; his father Roger did a lot of complaining back in DHARMA days. Here's a song to the tune of Alan Menken and Howard Ashman's Under the Sea set during season three's The Man Behind the Curtain. Here, Horace, the hippie-ish DHARMA Initiative honcho (and one of my favorite minor characters) tries to convince a surly Roger to stick around.

In the D. I.

I get it. You’ve got the jitters
Because of today’s attack.
You’re lonely, depressed and bitter;
You’re thinking of going back.
Remember the day I met you?
Well, you were a mess back then.
Be glad I did not forget you.
I care about you and Ben.

In the D. I., in the D. I.
Though you may scoff here,
You’re better off here.
I’ll tell you why.
Even a Work Man has his place
Helping to heal the human race.
This job’s a gift, since
You’ll make a diff’rence
In the D. I.

The natives are acting funny,
But we’ll keep them all in line.
We’re not in this thing for money,
So don’t let me hear you whine.
You left nothing back in Portland
But unpleasant memories.
I’m here if you need support, man,
But spare me the snarling, please.

In the D. I., in the D. I.
Nice, cozy housing.
Beer for carousing.
Tasty fish fries.
All the Apollos you can eat.
Luaus Hawaii couldn’t beat!
Welcoming neighbors.
Purposeful labor
In the D. I.
In the D. I.
Quality schooling.
Ben is no fool;
In fact, he’s just shy.
I knew he’d find himself a pal;
Annie’s a kind and clever gal.
Don’t separate them.
Wonders await them
In the D. I.

The air is so rare
And clear over here.
It‘s green and pristine,
A thrilling frontier.
We smile on this isle,
And life’s free from strife;
It’s calm almost all the time, man.
We say “Namaste”
And croon DHARMA tunes.
We dance and romance
On warm afternoons.
There’s peace and release
And fun in the sun.
The climate is sublime!

In the D. I., in the D. I.
Here where we stack
Geronimo Jackson
Albums sky-high.
Why would you ever want to leave?
We have utopia up our sleeves.
Hanso’s a genius!
Minimize meanness
In the D. I.
Half-hidden hatches.
Debonair patches
In the D. I.
Stop getting hammered.
Many have clamored
For a position
In our great mission.
You should be thanking
Me for your ranking
In the D. I.

The Once and Future Ben

I wrote this poem today in response to a poetry month writing prompt. Of course, knowing LOST was on in a few hours, I had my favorite show on the brain. Tonight's episode seems to have answered a question or two about Ben, but the mysteries are only beginning to be unraveled. How much did Ben know about what was about to happen when he hopped the plane back to the Island? Did he realize what he'd been pruning Sayid to do? We shall see...

The Once and Future Ben

A broken man with malice in his heart
Sits calmly in his seat and reads a book
That hints at epic journeys. But a look
Into his eyes does not reveal the part
That he will shortly play. Does he suspect
The doom that he has brought upon the lad
He loves and loathes, the boy whose bitter dad
Was caustic in his efforts to connect?
"Whatever happened, happened," so they say.
Then does the man recall the treachery
That, for another, still is yet to be?
Or did his past unfold another way?
Did bloodied Ben facilitate a crime
Defining the direction of his youth,
Or, when we are presented with the truth,
Will we discover that the course of time
Is not so fixed as many would insist?
A child is shot by one consumed with wrath.
Perhaps this sets him on the villain's path;
Perhaps he simply ceases to exist.

I'm Lost Without...

This past Christmas, I received a shirt that reads "I'M LOST WITHOUT CHARLIE". Turns out it was prophetic, since Charlie's run on the show actually ended with the conclusion of the third season. He's one of my four absolutely favorite characters. Luckily, the other three remain, but meanwhile other folks have been getting whacked left and right. It troubles me. Hence, this little rant...

I'm Lost Without...

I'm lost without Charlie, musician and hero.
I'm lost without Shannon and Boone.
I'm lost without Eko, whose death by Old Smokey
Seemed random and happened too soon.

I'm lost without gun-toting Ana Lucia.
I'm lost without Nikki the ditz.
I'm lost without Paolo, Joanna and Leslie,
Who got himself blown into bits.

I'm lost without Libby, collateral damage
And Hurley's best shot at romance.
I'm lost without dangerous Bonnie and Greta,
Who never had much of a chance.

I'm lost without Ryan, Colleen and Naomi.
I'm lost without Donald and Scott.
I'm lost without Roger and Kelvin, the putzes
Whose passing propelled the whole plot.

I'm lost without Danny, irascible hothead.
I'm lost without friendly foe Tom.
I'm lost without Goodwin, that overgrown boy scout.
I'm lost without vile Ethan Rom.

I'm lost without Edward, the dude with the shrapnel.
I'm lost without Cooper and Klugh.
I'm lost without Pilot-Whose-Name-Wasn't-Mentioned
And maybe without Mikhail too.

O Damon and Carlton, desist with the slaughter!
Have mercy! Consider the cost
Of killing each character I've come to love, lest
At last I am lost without LOST!

Hey Dude (Hey Jude, Paul McCartney)

Here's a little ditty to the tune of Hey Jude focusing on Tricia Tanaka Is Dead, one of my favorite episodes in LOST's third season, and the only one focusing on Hurley. Looking back over the three seasons, I think Hurley has been a quietly positive influence on Sawyer, and that's especially true after Sawyer's return from imprisonment by the Others. Judging by the finale, Sawyer could still use a lesson or two in playing nice with others (and especially Others), but it's nice that Hurley is trying.

In that episode, Hurley was just thrilled to see Sawyer alive and well, and Sawyer was touched enough by his concern - and tempted enough by the beer in the van (or bus, or whatever the proper term is) - to engage in an afternoon of what seemed at the time to be rather pointless male bonding. Of course, that good luck Hurley was talking about extended a bit further than a reckless joyride...

Hey Dude

Hey dude, I found a van
With some cans full of beer from Dharma.
It's karma. I know it deep in my heart.
Won't you take part? Let down your armor.

Hey dude, I was afraid
When you stayed that those guys would harm ya.
They didn't, and see the size of my grin!
We're gonna win because it's karma.

Though being stuck here is a pain,
Hey dude, you've gained a listening ear and crying shoulder.
I missed ya, man, so here's to you!
Knock back a few. I just wish they were a little colder.

Hey dude, until we're found,
Stick around. Don't let me alarm ya.
This Dharma bus soon will sputter and start
Because we're smart and cuz it's karma.

So our good luck will soon begin.
Hey dude, we've been here waiting for something that feels normal.
I think a joyride ought to do. Hey dude, don't you?
Let's pop Roger's head back on his shoulders...

Hey dude, I found a van
With some cans full of beer from Dharma.
It's karma. I know it deep in my heart.
Won't you take part? Let down your armor...

Na na na na-na-na na, na-na-na na, hey dude.
Na na na na-na-na na, na-na-na na, hey dude...

fade out