I Translate for Dogen (Git Along Little Dogies, Traditional)

"I don't like the way English tastes on my tongue." - Dogen, LA X, Part 2

I got a kick out of Lennon, Dogen's translator, even though Hurley revealed him to be rather unnecessary. Here's a little reflection from Lennon about that, to the tune of the cowboy song Git Along Little Dogies.

I Translate for Dogen

Well, it was a calm afternoon at the Temple
Till Reyes and his band of castaways came.
It seemed their arrival disquieted Dogen.
He told me to order our men to take aim.

Kinda dumb, I know, but I translate for Dogen.
I've been a polyglot since I was young.
Kinda dumb, I know, but I translate for Dogen.
He doesn’t like how English tastes on his tongue.

Reyes was quick and protested to Dogen.
He said a guitar case could prove who he was.
Inside was an ankh, and in that was a name list,
‘Cause Jacob digs distance just like Dogen does.

Kinda dumb, I know, but I translate for Dogen,
Who hates to mingle with regular folk.
Kinda dumb, I know, but I translate for Dogen.
Without him, this Temple would go up in smoke.

Well, I feel a bit silly translating for Dogen;
He’s almost as fluent in English as me.
But I can’t complain; it’s a cushy position,
Superfluous as we both know it to be.

Kinda dumb, I know, but I translate for Dogen.
He leaves his phrase book inside on the shelf.
Kinda dumb, I know, but I translate for Dogen
Until he decides to just speak for himself.

Git Along Little Dogies

The End (American Pie, Don McLean)

Working through my feelings on the end of LOST a couple weeks ahead of time. Darlton, are you listening?

The End (A LOSTie’s Salute)

A long, long time ago,
Back when television was an idle, passionless routine,
An epic promo stopped me cold.
It seemed like cinematic gold
Created for a more convenient screen.
A fiery crash, a pressing query,
A score that sounded more than eerie.
I embraced this new show,
This fresh Robinson Crusoe,
This stunning tale of tattered lives.
Even if I’m pleased with who survives,
It’s sure to cut like John Locke’s knives
The day The End arrives.

A dry eye will be hard to come by.
No more series, no more theories,
No more castaway high,
And at this point, I’d be a fool to deny
That I hate to bid the Island goodbye.
Hate to bid the Island goodbye.

Do you know I came to love
All the folks who fell from far above
In September of ‘04?
And I soon made room inside my soul
For one crazed Scotsman in a hole
And Ben, who isn’t Henry anymore.
I’ve envisioned Richard as a sage
Since I noticed that he doesn’t age.
Fantastic Frank’s a find,
And I dig dear dizzy Dan's mind.
I sympathized with Dogen’s tragic case,
And Ilana touched me with her quiet grace.
I just don’t see how I can face
The day The End arrives.

I guarantee a dry eye will be hard to come by.
No more series, no more theories,
No more castaway high,
And at this point, I’d be a fool to deny
That I hate to bid the Island goodbye.
Hate to bid the Island goodbye.

Now for six years, it’s been on the air.
No other series can quite compare
In terms of sheer complexity.
Every episode hides a crucial clue.
Stranger in a Strange Land matters too,
Though tattoos are not exactly key.
Who’d’ve thought that run-down DHARMA van
Would fuel a hero’s rescue plan?
Who knew the code equates
To Jacob’s Candidates?
You’ve dropped crumbs along the twisted trail.
What tiny Season One detail
Will clinch who wins and who will fail
The day The End arrives?

I’m convinced a dry eye will be hard to come by.
No more series, no more theories,
No more castaway high,
And at this point, I’d be a fool to deny
That I hate to bid the Island goodbye.
Hate to bid the Island goodbye.

Faith and reason, loyalty and treason,
Enigmas deepening every season.
Cuselof, I tip my hat.
The polar bears, Hurley bird
And ancient monster are so absurd;
I appreciate it all the more for that.
There’s a four-toed statue on the beach.
When wet Walt spouted garbled speech
And Jacob’s cabin shook,
I had to take another look.
How do pylons form a Smokey shield
And why are Temple bathers healed?
What mysteries will be revealed
The day The End arrives?

I guarantee a dry eye will be hard to come by.
No more series, no more theories,
No more castaway high,
And at this point, I’d be a fool to deny
That I hate to bid the Island goodbye.
Hate to bid the Island goodbye.

Now all those phrases are in my head,
Like “Are you him?” and “Dead is dead”
And “Live together, die alone.”
“Don’t mistake a coincidence for fate!”
And Jack’s cry, “We have to go back, Kate!”
By leaps and bounds, the lexicon has grown.
It’s always a hoot to spout the names
So snarkily assigned by James.
Though “Jabba’s” kinda mean,
I’m keen on “Mr. Clean”.
All the allusions make me feel obtuse.
How many more will you produce?
My library card will get some use
The day The End arrives.

I’m convinced a dry eye will be hard to come by.
No more series, no more theories,
No more castaway high,
And at this point, I’d be a fool to deny
That I hate to bid the Island goodbye.
Hate to bid the Island goodbye.

I said farewell to Jin and Sun.
Sadly, Charlie’s rock star days are done -
In this dimension, anyway.
Scott and Eko had violent deaths,
And I always will remember Seth’s,
Since you deigned to turn the pilot into prey.
From fatal falls and time disease
To filicide (curse you, Eloise!),
You’ve shown a special talent
For killing off the gallant.
Michael wound up a remorseful ghost.
Sayid repented and then was toast.
I wonder who I’ll miss the most
The day The End arrives.

I guarantee a dry eye will be hard to come by.
No more series, no more theories,
No more castaway high,
And at this point, I’d be a fool to deny
That I hate to bid the Island goodbye.
Hate to bid the Island goodbye.

I’m convinced a dry eye will be hard to come by.
No more series, no more theories,
No more castaway high,
And at this point, I’d be a fool to deny
That I hate to bid the Island goodbye.

My Sister (Sister Golden Hair, Gerry Beckley)

I'd like to think that Jack at least struggled a bit before he made the decision to leave Claire behind again in The Last Recruit. This is a sort of counterpoint to My Brother, to the tune of America's Sister Golden Hair.

My Sister

Jack: Well, I want to give protection to my sister, long unknown.
But she’s suffered from infection since she went off on her own.
Dogen warned me of the danger once a person has been claimed,
But I can’t forget it’s me who should be blamed.

Well, I don’t know how to save this sister poisoned by his lies.
It’s been hard for her to brave this. I can see it in her eyes.
She is one unlucky victim with a too, too tortured mind,
And it’s all because I left her far behind.

Though the years have made her brittle,
Can I prove to her I care?
Can I help reform my little
Sister, poor, misguided Claire?
Or is this a fever that there’s no cure for?
Should I just leave her?

Well, I don’t know how to save this sister poisoned by his lies.
It’s been hard for her to brave this. I can see it in her eyes.
She is one unlucky victim with a too, too tortured mind,
And it’s all because I left her far behind.

Though the years have made her brittle,
Can I prove to her I care?
Can I help reform my little
Sister, poor, misguided Claire?
Or is this a fever that there’s no cure for?
Should I just leave her?

Claire: Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me.
Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me.
Jack: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Claire...

Sister Golden Hair

Trust (I Will, Paul McCartney)

Here's another LOST parody inspired by What Kate Does. This time, Sayid is the speaker, to the tune of the Beatles' I Will.

Trust

They say I’ve been infected.
Who knows what’s in that pill?
If I take it, it could kill me;
If you want me to, I will.

Although you claim they cured me,
They hardly seem sincere.
But we’ve been in this together
Since the day we landed here.

In this together, so forever,
Jack, you will have my trust.
If you say swallow, I will follow.
I will do what I must.

I don’t care that they fixed me;
It’s you who is my friend.
So just lay it on the line, Jack.
Say this medicine is fine, Jack.
Or advise me to decline the pill, Jack.
Oh, you know I will.
I will.