Sunday, February 28, 2010
Eloise (Edelweiss, Richard Rodgers / Oscar Hammerstein)
"This man walked into camp and put a gun to my head, and Eloise... reacted."
- Richard, Follow the Leader
One of the moments on LOST that has stuck with me the most is the death of Daniel Faraday. I've written about it from two different perspectives. Here's a third, the sage Richard's, which is later echoed by Jack, to the tune of Rodgers and Hammerstein's Edelweiss, from The Sound of Music.
Eloise
Richard: Eloise, Eloise.
Must you be such a hothead?
Look at me. Do you see
Who it was that you shot dead?
That was your son, so what you have done
Brings no satisfaction.
Eloise, Eloise.
What a fatal reaction!
Richard: Eloise,
Jack: Eloise,
Richard: Eloise.
Jack: Eloise.
Richard and Jack: Must you be such a hothead?
Richard: Look at me.
Jack: Look at me.
Richard: Do you see
Jack: Do you see
Richard and Jack: Who it was that you shot dead?
Jack: That was your son, so what you have done
Brings no satisfaction.
Eloise, Eloise.
What a fatal reaction!
Sittin' on the Shoreline (Standing on the Corner, Frank Loesser)
Smokey: Do you have any idea how badly I wanna kill you?
Jacob: Yes.
Smokey: One of these days, sooner or later... I'm going to find a loophole, my friend.
- The Incident
I've written quite a few LOST filksongs to tunes performed by Celtic Thunder, my favorite contemporary band, but I've never tackled one of Damian McGinty's, which has been increasingly agitating me lately since he happens to be the one member of the group that actually likes the show. And when I say likes, I mean loves, with an obsessive fervor I recognize all too well. So this one, to the tune of Standing on the Corner, the Frank Loesser song he covers in the group's newest release, is written especially for Damo.
It's a counterpoint to Tallies, Time and Tapestries, which has Jacob serenely meditating on his meeting with his as-yet-unnamed nemesis, which is depicted in the opening scene of The Incident. Here, the entity affectionately known as Smokey (and about a dozen other nicknames) responds to Jacob with rather less grace. Nonetheless, I can't help feeling a bit sympathetic to his position, and find in his stance a glimmer of sympathy for the castaways "whose lives [Jacob] wasted".
I think Jacob will have the upper hand in the end, but that Smokey will not necessarily be vanquished outright. Unlike, say, Voldemort, Smokey appears to have some sense of morality, and he also appears to have an understanding of what it means to be human. Martin Keamy and Anthony Cooper may well have been sociopaths who never truly loved anyone in their lives, but I don't think this quite applies to our shape-shifting friend. And while Jacob works against him, he seems to harbor little animosity toward He Who Must Not Be Named (because what we really needed was another mystery on LOST). Moreover, I'm starting to suspect that even these two answer to someone. So while I hope Jacob scores a spectacular victory, I can't helping rooting for Smokey's remorse and redemption, and thinking he's more Darth Vader than Sauron.
Sittin' on the Shoreline
Sittin' on the shoreline watchin' all the ships come in.
Sittin' on the shoreline watchin' all the ships come in.
Jacob, I don’t think you know how much this bores me.
Oh, what a waste this has all been,
This sittin' on the shoreline watchin' all the ships,
Watchin' all the ships, watchin' all the ships come in.
We are stuck at two extremes.
Had it up to here with all your schemes.
Had it up to here with all your clout.
So I’m off to find a loophole,
And when I do, I’ll kill you and finally get out!
Sittin' on the shoreline watchin' all the ships come in.
Sittin' on the shoreline waitin’ till they start to sin.
Jacob, it’s you who so haughtily ignores me,
You who insists that we begin
By sittin' on the shoreline watchin' all the ships,
Watchin' all the ships, watchin' all the ships come in.
We are stuck at two extremes.
Had it up to here with all your schemes.
Had it up to here with all your clout.
So I’m off to find a loophole,
And when I do, I’ll kill you and finally get out!
Jacob, I guess you would say that I’m a cynic.
Well, you’re naive, my noble twin
Sittin' on the shoreline watchin' all the ships,
Watchin' all the ships, watchin' all the ships come in.
Jacob: Yes.
Smokey: One of these days, sooner or later... I'm going to find a loophole, my friend.
- The Incident
I've written quite a few LOST filksongs to tunes performed by Celtic Thunder, my favorite contemporary band, but I've never tackled one of Damian McGinty's, which has been increasingly agitating me lately since he happens to be the one member of the group that actually likes the show. And when I say likes, I mean loves, with an obsessive fervor I recognize all too well. So this one, to the tune of Standing on the Corner, the Frank Loesser song he covers in the group's newest release, is written especially for Damo.
It's a counterpoint to Tallies, Time and Tapestries, which has Jacob serenely meditating on his meeting with his as-yet-unnamed nemesis, which is depicted in the opening scene of The Incident. Here, the entity affectionately known as Smokey (and about a dozen other nicknames) responds to Jacob with rather less grace. Nonetheless, I can't help feeling a bit sympathetic to his position, and find in his stance a glimmer of sympathy for the castaways "whose lives [Jacob] wasted".
I think Jacob will have the upper hand in the end, but that Smokey will not necessarily be vanquished outright. Unlike, say, Voldemort, Smokey appears to have some sense of morality, and he also appears to have an understanding of what it means to be human. Martin Keamy and Anthony Cooper may well have been sociopaths who never truly loved anyone in their lives, but I don't think this quite applies to our shape-shifting friend. And while Jacob works against him, he seems to harbor little animosity toward He Who Must Not Be Named (because what we really needed was another mystery on LOST). Moreover, I'm starting to suspect that even these two answer to someone. So while I hope Jacob scores a spectacular victory, I can't helping rooting for Smokey's remorse and redemption, and thinking he's more Darth Vader than Sauron.
Sittin' on the Shoreline
Sittin' on the shoreline watchin' all the ships come in.
Sittin' on the shoreline watchin' all the ships come in.
Jacob, I don’t think you know how much this bores me.
Oh, what a waste this has all been,
This sittin' on the shoreline watchin' all the ships,
Watchin' all the ships, watchin' all the ships come in.
We are stuck at two extremes.
Had it up to here with all your schemes.
Had it up to here with all your clout.
So I’m off to find a loophole,
And when I do, I’ll kill you and finally get out!
Sittin' on the shoreline watchin' all the ships come in.
Sittin' on the shoreline waitin’ till they start to sin.
Jacob, it’s you who so haughtily ignores me,
You who insists that we begin
By sittin' on the shoreline watchin' all the ships,
Watchin' all the ships, watchin' all the ships come in.
We are stuck at two extremes.
Had it up to here with all your schemes.
Had it up to here with all your clout.
So I’m off to find a loophole,
And when I do, I’ll kill you and finally get out!
Jacob, I guess you would say that I’m a cynic.
Well, you’re naive, my noble twin
Sittin' on the shoreline watchin' all the ships,
Watchin' all the ships, watchin' all the ships come in.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
John Locke (Gaston, Alan Menken / Howard Ashman)
The first LOST filksong I ever wrote involves many of the characters discussing their backstories and Island experiences. The second has John bragging about how great he is. So I thought, for my 100th LOST song, it would be fitting to do a song in which a whole bunch of characters sing about how great John was. About 20 characters (many of them long dead) get in on the action here, to the tune of Alan Menken and Howard Ashman's Gaston, from Beauty and the Beast. Cheers!
John Locke
Ben: How it confused me to see you, John Locke,
Looking so lost and depressed.
Everything was “destiny” to John Locke,
Sure to work out for the best.
I always had failed to unnerve you before;
I now wonder why I would try.
Oddly, I long to preserve you now, for
To impress me, John, you had to die.
Smokey: No one’s been, like John Locke,
Made a twin like John Locke.
Kate: No one’s pulled off an orange-peel grin like John Locke.
Desmond: Oh, his skills with a blade were just scary.
Hurley: Dude, he undid my canteen!
Sun: Though I know his head wasn’t too hairy,
‘Twas the shiniest specimen I’ve ever seen.
Smokey: No one’s used like John Locke
And abused like John Locke.
Jack: No one “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”s like John Locke.
Smokey: No one else is as primed for manipulation.
I miss that guy, that John Locke.
Ben: A man of faith,
Of firm belief.
Richard: John Locke truly sought,
And I thought he’d be a chief.
Boone: No one’s charred as John Locke,
Had it hard as John Locke.
Shannon: No one’s face is as eerily scarred as John Locke.
Sayid: Yes, he went through a number of tussles.
Christian: He got shot and he shattered his leg.
Rose: But he had such miraculous muscles.
Sawyer: Darn right!
If brawn were a brew, then he drank a whole keg.
Jin: No one knots like John Locke,
Claire: Swaddles cloths like John Locke.
Charlie: No one makes metaphors about moths like John Locke.
Claire: No one else is as crafty at crib creation.
I owe a lot to John Locke.
Eko: No other man could have seemed quite so sincere
When he quietly said, “I was wrong.”
Walt: He always respected me when I was here.
All: Oh, it’s clear he’s earned this little song.
Jacob: I attest that John Locke
Was my guest, and John Locke
Never needed to doubt he was blessed as John Locke.
I agree his life merits a celebration.
All: I miss that guy, John Locke!
John Locke
Ben: How it confused me to see you, John Locke,
Looking so lost and depressed.
Everything was “destiny” to John Locke,
Sure to work out for the best.
I always had failed to unnerve you before;
I now wonder why I would try.
Oddly, I long to preserve you now, for
To impress me, John, you had to die.
Smokey: No one’s been, like John Locke,
Made a twin like John Locke.
Kate: No one’s pulled off an orange-peel grin like John Locke.
Desmond: Oh, his skills with a blade were just scary.
Hurley: Dude, he undid my canteen!
Sun: Though I know his head wasn’t too hairy,
‘Twas the shiniest specimen I’ve ever seen.
Smokey: No one’s used like John Locke
And abused like John Locke.
Jack: No one “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”s like John Locke.
Smokey: No one else is as primed for manipulation.
I miss that guy, that John Locke.
Ben: A man of faith,
Of firm belief.
Richard: John Locke truly sought,
And I thought he’d be a chief.
Boone: No one’s charred as John Locke,
Had it hard as John Locke.
Shannon: No one’s face is as eerily scarred as John Locke.
Sayid: Yes, he went through a number of tussles.
Christian: He got shot and he shattered his leg.
Rose: But he had such miraculous muscles.
Sawyer: Darn right!
If brawn were a brew, then he drank a whole keg.
Jin: No one knots like John Locke,
Claire: Swaddles cloths like John Locke.
Charlie: No one makes metaphors about moths like John Locke.
Claire: No one else is as crafty at crib creation.
I owe a lot to John Locke.
Eko: No other man could have seemed quite so sincere
When he quietly said, “I was wrong.”
Walt: He always respected me when I was here.
All: Oh, it’s clear he’s earned this little song.
Jacob: I attest that John Locke
Was my guest, and John Locke
Never needed to doubt he was blessed as John Locke.
I agree his life merits a celebration.
All: I miss that guy, John Locke!
The Crazy Man (Shilo, Neil Diamond)
Charlotte: When I was little, living here, there was this man... a crazy man, he really scared me. And he told me that I had to leave the island and never ever come back. He told me that if I came back I would die. Daniel: Charlotte, I don't understand.
Charlotte: Daniel – I think that man was you.
- This Place Is Death
Charlotte is one character on LOST who I've felt we didn't really get to know quite as well as I would've liked. But through Daniel, I've developed a pretty deep affection for her. Here's a reflection mostly by her in This Place Is Death, to the tune of Neil Diamond's Shilo.
The Crazy Man
Charlotte: Can’t Daddy come?
How can we leave him behind?
Sawyer: Hey, what’s with Red?
I think she’s out of her mind!
Juliet: Listen, Dan, our time’s running out now
And we’ve got to go.
Daniel: So you think I should leave her here since she’s slow?
No, no and no!
Charlotte: One long-ago July,
I met a crazy man.
He told me I would die
If I came back. Oh, Dan,
That was you.
Now I recall
That I have been here before.
Daniel, this was my home;
Lived here for three years or more.
Every time I tried to remember
This as a child,
Mum insisted my daydreams were running wild,
Just running wild.
One long-ago July,
I met a crazy man.
He told me I would die
If I came back. Oh, Dan,
Is it true?
Anthropology seemed like my ticket
To finding this place.
Now I’m seeing the warning etched in your face.
It’s in your face.
One long-ago July,
I met a crazy man.
He told me I would die
If I came back. Oh, Dan,
What to do?
Anthropology seemed like my ticket
To finding this place.
Now I’m seeing the warning etched in your face.
It’s in your face.
One long-ago July,
I met a crazy man.
He told me I would die
If I came back. Oh, Dan,
That was you.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Ben's Song (Annie's Song, John Denver)
"It's us. That's you and that's me. Now we never have to be away from each other. Happy birthday, Ben."
- Annie, The Man Behind the Curtain
Last night, I watched a video that filled me with more happiness than any video rightly should. Entitled Old Spice Fills Up My Senses, this video ingeniously takes the text of the iconic new Old Spice commercial (with which I am currently obsessed) and marries it to the melody of John Denver's Annie's Song. As the main singer, Emily, explains, "There's a video that's making the rounds on the Internet, and I think it's the most romantic thing that I've ever seen... and we thought it might be fun to set the words to the video to the tune of the most romantic song ever written."
Well, I was elated and inspired, and I watched it half a dozen times, and when I woke up this morning, I watched it again. And then I had a thought: "I need this song." Every time I've heard Annie's Song in the past three years, I've briefly wanted to toy with the idea of turning it into a way of exploring Annie, who ties for my favorite flashback character on LOST. But I always shot myself down because I have a strict rule of never using the same song twice, and I made short work of Annie's Song back in 2006 shortly after my filking began in earnest.
This time, I decided to throw out the rules, especially since that was one of the dumbest songs I ever wrote, and hardly worthy of John Denver's beautiful melody. I shunned my first attempt, freeing me to say everything I've been longing to say about Annie, or rather to have her say. It was a strange revelation to me when I finished that everything we really know about Annie is contained in this one brief song. She appeared in one episode, and then she was never mentioned again.
I have a few theories about what happened to her. My most outlandish speculates that she was either Jacob or Smokey (akin to the theory that Vincent is Jacob or Smokey). Intriguing thought, but I don't give it a lot of credence. My most prominent theories are as follows:
1. Annie left the Island with her parents shortly after she presented the dolls to Ben. The very nature of the gift suggests that she knew they would be separated soon, and this would explain why she seemed to be out of the picture when Jack and his buddies arrived.
2. At some point in the mid-to-late 1980s, Ben impregnated Annie, who subsequently died in childbirth. That explains why he was so deeply moved by the presence of the infant Alexandra and protective of her mother, even as he stole the baby to claim as his own. It also gives more reason for the fervor with which he tried to keep Karl away from Alex and attempted to find a solution to the Island's fertility problems, which Richard (the man who barely remembers what birthdays are) clearly found inconsequential.
Whatever Annie's story is, I feel certain that we will get it this season and that it will prove an important piece of the puzzle that is LOST. Until then, we're left with three short but incredibly sweet scenes.
Ben’s Song
I guess that you’re new here.
Nice to meet you; I’m Annie.
Won’t you have an Apollo?
They’re amazingly good.
Take a taste of this candy.
We will never run out here.
You want to be friends, Ben?
I think that we should.
Come to the corner!
It’s a Hostile invasion.
It’s a little bit scary,
But don’t be afraid, Ben.
Take my hand, and I’ll guide you.
I am right here beside you.
Soon they will leave us.
You’ll be okay then.
I am right here beside you.
Someday I’ll leave you,
But I can’t say when.
I know it’s your birthday,
Though your dad has forgotten.
Here’s a gift that I made you,
And it comes from the heart.
Take the doll, for it’s me, Ben;
This one’s you, and I’ll keep it.
As long as we have them,
We’re never apart.
- Annie, The Man Behind the Curtain
Last night, I watched a video that filled me with more happiness than any video rightly should. Entitled Old Spice Fills Up My Senses, this video ingeniously takes the text of the iconic new Old Spice commercial (with which I am currently obsessed) and marries it to the melody of John Denver's Annie's Song. As the main singer, Emily, explains, "There's a video that's making the rounds on the Internet, and I think it's the most romantic thing that I've ever seen... and we thought it might be fun to set the words to the video to the tune of the most romantic song ever written."
Well, I was elated and inspired, and I watched it half a dozen times, and when I woke up this morning, I watched it again. And then I had a thought: "I need this song." Every time I've heard Annie's Song in the past three years, I've briefly wanted to toy with the idea of turning it into a way of exploring Annie, who ties for my favorite flashback character on LOST. But I always shot myself down because I have a strict rule of never using the same song twice, and I made short work of Annie's Song back in 2006 shortly after my filking began in earnest.
This time, I decided to throw out the rules, especially since that was one of the dumbest songs I ever wrote, and hardly worthy of John Denver's beautiful melody. I shunned my first attempt, freeing me to say everything I've been longing to say about Annie, or rather to have her say. It was a strange revelation to me when I finished that everything we really know about Annie is contained in this one brief song. She appeared in one episode, and then she was never mentioned again.
I have a few theories about what happened to her. My most outlandish speculates that she was either Jacob or Smokey (akin to the theory that Vincent is Jacob or Smokey). Intriguing thought, but I don't give it a lot of credence. My most prominent theories are as follows:
1. Annie left the Island with her parents shortly after she presented the dolls to Ben. The very nature of the gift suggests that she knew they would be separated soon, and this would explain why she seemed to be out of the picture when Jack and his buddies arrived.
2. At some point in the mid-to-late 1980s, Ben impregnated Annie, who subsequently died in childbirth. That explains why he was so deeply moved by the presence of the infant Alexandra and protective of her mother, even as he stole the baby to claim as his own. It also gives more reason for the fervor with which he tried to keep Karl away from Alex and attempted to find a solution to the Island's fertility problems, which Richard (the man who barely remembers what birthdays are) clearly found inconsequential.
Whatever Annie's story is, I feel certain that we will get it this season and that it will prove an important piece of the puzzle that is LOST. Until then, we're left with three short but incredibly sweet scenes.
Ben’s Song
I guess that you’re new here.
Nice to meet you; I’m Annie.
Won’t you have an Apollo?
They’re amazingly good.
Take a taste of this candy.
We will never run out here.
You want to be friends, Ben?
I think that we should.
Come to the corner!
It’s a Hostile invasion.
It’s a little bit scary,
But don’t be afraid, Ben.
Take my hand, and I’ll guide you.
I am right here beside you.
Soon they will leave us.
You’ll be okay then.
I am right here beside you.
Someday I’ll leave you,
But I can’t say when.
I know it’s your birthday,
Though your dad has forgotten.
Here’s a gift that I made you,
And it comes from the heart.
Take the doll, for it’s me, Ben;
This one’s you, and I’ll keep it.
As long as we have them,
We’re never apart.
My Beacon on the Water (Candle on the Water, Al Kasha / Joel Hirschhorn)
"I'm here because I need you." - Jacob, Lighthouse
As soon as I heard that the name of this week's LOST episode was Lighthouse, I immediately thought of Pete's Dragon's Candle on the Water, one of my all-time favorite Disney songs. Once I saw it, I found the song every bit as applicable as I'd suspected. Here's a little reflection from the perspective of Jacob, talking to Hurley.
My Beacon on the Water
Come to my beacon on the water.
Tell Jack that he has what it takes.
I know that he will learn because of this small journey.
What a difference some perspective makes!
Come to my beacon on the water.
Travel together like old days.
Say you’re a Candidate. When you cross paths with Katie,
Leave her to the trail that she must blaze.
My ways are always enigmatic,
But you are wiser than you’ve ever guessed,
And once you’ve seen my secret attic
High above the sand,
You will understand.
Come to my beacon on the water.
Sometimes a taxi talk for two
Is all the drive that’s needed; my advice is heeded.
Sometimes it takes an ocean view
To work out what to do.
I’m counting on you, Hugo.
Glad I can count on you.
Glad I can count on you…
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Keep This Guitar Case for Me (While My Guitar Gently Weeps, George Harrison)
Hurley: Wait! You forgot your guitar.
Jacob: It's not my guitar.
- The Incident
Yesterday was George Harrison's 67th birthday, so I've had the late great Quiet Beatle on the brain. Here's a song to the tune of While My Guitar Gently Weeps. I've written once explicitly about the strength of the bond between Jacob and Hurley, and implied it another time, but I thought their iconic meeting deserved a song all its own.
Keep This Guitar Case For Me
I look in your eyes, see the struggle there, Hugo.
Keep this guitar case for me.
You think you’ve been cursed; I see blessing in you, though.
Keep this guitar case for me.
You have been blessed beyond all measure.
You are a treasure trove.
When you were handed a life of leisure,
You thought of others’ pleasure.
You come here and offer a gift to a stranger.
Keep this guitar case for me.
I hope you will help keep your friends out of danger.
Keep this guitar case for me.
All of your life, you’ve felt deflated,
Thought you were hated.
All of your life, I know you’ve waited.
Our meeting’s fated.
My friend, put an end to despair and confusion.
Keep this guitar case for me.
I’m here; I’m not dead, and I’m not an illusion.
Keep this guitar case for me.
Jacob: It's not my guitar.
- The Incident
Yesterday was George Harrison's 67th birthday, so I've had the late great Quiet Beatle on the brain. Here's a song to the tune of While My Guitar Gently Weeps. I've written once explicitly about the strength of the bond between Jacob and Hurley, and implied it another time, but I thought their iconic meeting deserved a song all its own.
Keep This Guitar Case For Me
I look in your eyes, see the struggle there, Hugo.
Keep this guitar case for me.
You think you’ve been cursed; I see blessing in you, though.
Keep this guitar case for me.
You have been blessed beyond all measure.
You are a treasure trove.
When you were handed a life of leisure,
You thought of others’ pleasure.
You come here and offer a gift to a stranger.
Keep this guitar case for me.
I hope you will help keep your friends out of danger.
Keep this guitar case for me.
All of your life, you’ve felt deflated,
Thought you were hated.
All of your life, I know you’ve waited.
Our meeting’s fated.
My friend, put an end to despair and confusion.
Keep this guitar case for me.
I’m here; I’m not dead, and I’m not an illusion.
Keep this guitar case for me.
Michael, Build the Raft with Jin (Michael, Row the Boat Ashore, Traditional)
Here's a very simple ditty harkening back to very simple days on LOST, back when it seemed possible that getting off the Island could be as simple as Michael building a raft. Set to the tune of the Highwaymen's version of Michael, Row the Boat Ashore.
Michael, Build the Raft with Jin
Michael, build the raft with Jin.
Leave the Island.
New adventures will begin.
Leave the Island.
Sawyer, help to lend a hand.
Leave the Island.
Don’t lie lounging in the sand.
Leave the Island.
Michael, build the raft with Jin.
Leave the Island.
New adventures will begin.
Leave the Island.
Mr. Locke will be helping you, Walt.
Leave the Island.
Won’t reveal that the fire’s your fault.
Leave the Island.
Michael, build the raft with Jin.
Leave the Island.
New adventures will begin.
Leave the Island.
A little more work to do and then you
Leave the Island.
Who knows what you’ll have to face when you
Leave the Island?
Michael, build the raft with Jin.
Leave the Island.
New adventures will begin.
Leave the Island.
Michael, Build the Raft with Jin
Michael, build the raft with Jin.
Leave the Island.
New adventures will begin.
Leave the Island.
Sawyer, help to lend a hand.
Leave the Island.
Don’t lie lounging in the sand.
Leave the Island.
Michael, build the raft with Jin.
Leave the Island.
New adventures will begin.
Leave the Island.
Mr. Locke will be helping you, Walt.
Leave the Island.
Won’t reveal that the fire’s your fault.
Leave the Island.
Michael, build the raft with Jin.
Leave the Island.
New adventures will begin.
Leave the Island.
A little more work to do and then you
Leave the Island.
Who knows what you’ll have to face when you
Leave the Island?
Michael, build the raft with Jin.
Leave the Island.
New adventures will begin.
Leave the Island.
Rose and Bernie (Cracklin' Rosie, Neil Diamond)
Rose and Bernard are, in many ways, my favorite couple on LOST. Unfortunately, they have a nasty habit of disappearing for long stretches of time, leaving their devoted fans completely hanging. This was especially egregious in seasons three and five. Now, though we've seen them in Sideways world, we're once again left to wonder what has become of them on the Island. Here, to the tune of Neil Diamond's Cracklin' Rosie, I voice the frustration my fellow Rose and Bernard lovers and I feel.
Rose and Bernie
Oh, Rose and Bernie,
Where’d you go?
Why in the world did you vanish from the show?
We gotta know!
We think it’s low
Making us love you then disappearing!
Did you want to run away,
Go someplace private and thrive there, just you two?
Give us a clue
Because without you
We’re aching inside every time that the credits roll.
Oh, we miss Bernard and Rose.
They are the Island’s perfect couple.
Our affection for them grows.
Bernie and Rose,
You were separated,
But now you’re together and we’re elated.
We hope you come back soon, for we’ve waited so long!
Show up now, show up now.
Show up, Rose and Bernie.
Rose and Bernie, happily wed,
You show us wisdom instead of all this angst,
So can we say thanks?
The romantic ranks
Fall into line right behind your brilliance, yeah.
Oh, we miss Bernard and Rose.
They are the Island’s perfect couple.
Our affection for them grows.
Bernie and Rose,
You were separated,
But now you’re together and we’re elated.
We hope you come back soon, for we’ve waited so long!
Show up now, show up now.
Show up, Rose and Bernie.
Rose and Bernie, happily wed,
You show us wisdom instead of all this angst,
So can we say thanks?
The romantic ranks
Fall into line right behind your brilliance…
Rose and Bernie
Oh, Rose and Bernie,
Where’d you go?
Why in the world did you vanish from the show?
We gotta know!
We think it’s low
Making us love you then disappearing!
Did you want to run away,
Go someplace private and thrive there, just you two?
Give us a clue
Because without you
We’re aching inside every time that the credits roll.
Oh, we miss Bernard and Rose.
They are the Island’s perfect couple.
Our affection for them grows.
Bernie and Rose,
You were separated,
But now you’re together and we’re elated.
We hope you come back soon, for we’ve waited so long!
Show up now, show up now.
Show up, Rose and Bernie.
Rose and Bernie, happily wed,
You show us wisdom instead of all this angst,
So can we say thanks?
The romantic ranks
Fall into line right behind your brilliance, yeah.
Oh, we miss Bernard and Rose.
They are the Island’s perfect couple.
Our affection for them grows.
Bernie and Rose,
You were separated,
But now you’re together and we’re elated.
We hope you come back soon, for we’ve waited so long!
Show up now, show up now.
Show up, Rose and Bernie.
Rose and Bernie, happily wed,
You show us wisdom instead of all this angst,
So can we say thanks?
The romantic ranks
Fall into line right behind your brilliance…
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Flaming Arrows (Burning Bridges, Lalo Schifrin)
One of my all-time favorite movie theme songs is Burning Bridges, from Kelly's Heroes. Here's a little dying rant from LOST's Neil, aka Frogurt, whose run on the show was as brief as it was bizarre...
Flaming Arrows
Scott - or was it Steve? Heck, even I don’t really know -
Took a fatal dose of Ethan several weeks ago.
Leslie got himself blown up into a billion bits.
This Minor Player status is the pits.
All the flaming arrows that came whizzing through the trees,
All the faded glory of my frogurt fantasies,
All the trials I endured away from prying eyes.
Flaming arrows! One more redshirt dies.
Had my eye on Libby, who was pretty as could be.
Figured she’d be happy to take a chance on me.
Well, Tubby got there first, though why she liked him, I can’t say.
Stuck with him, and she got blown away.
All the flaming arrows that came whizzing through the trees,
All the faded glory of my frogurt fantasies,
All the trials I endured away from prying eyes.
Flaming arrows! One more redshirt dies.
Nikki and poor Paolo got the short end of the stick.
No one ever really cared too much what made them tick.
It’s no surprise my number’s up. I guess I always knew.
I hope that Bernie somehow makes it through.
All the flaming arrows that came whizzing through the trees,
All the faded glory of my frogurt fantasies,
All the trials I endured away from prying eyes.
Flaming arrows! One more redshirt dies.
Flaming arrows! One more redshirt dies.
Flaming Arrows
Scott - or was it Steve? Heck, even I don’t really know -
Took a fatal dose of Ethan several weeks ago.
Leslie got himself blown up into a billion bits.
This Minor Player status is the pits.
All the flaming arrows that came whizzing through the trees,
All the faded glory of my frogurt fantasies,
All the trials I endured away from prying eyes.
Flaming arrows! One more redshirt dies.
Had my eye on Libby, who was pretty as could be.
Figured she’d be happy to take a chance on me.
Well, Tubby got there first, though why she liked him, I can’t say.
Stuck with him, and she got blown away.
All the flaming arrows that came whizzing through the trees,
All the faded glory of my frogurt fantasies,
All the trials I endured away from prying eyes.
Flaming arrows! One more redshirt dies.
Nikki and poor Paolo got the short end of the stick.
No one ever really cared too much what made them tick.
It’s no surprise my number’s up. I guess I always knew.
I hope that Bernie somehow makes it through.
All the flaming arrows that came whizzing through the trees,
All the faded glory of my frogurt fantasies,
All the trials I endured away from prying eyes.
Flaming arrows! One more redshirt dies.
Flaming arrows! One more redshirt dies.
“Sometimes You Can Just Hop in the Back of Someone’s Cab and Tell ‘Em What They’re Supposed to Do..."
“Other times, you have to let them look out at the ocean for a while.”
“I’ll be your candle on the water. My love for you will always burn. I know you’re lost and drifting, but the clouds are lifting. Don’t give up; you have somewhere to turn. I’ll be your candle on the water ‘til every wave is warm and bright. My heart is here beside you. Let my candle guide you. Soon you’ll see a golden stream of light. A cold and friendless tide has found you. Don’t let the stormy darkness pull you down. I’ll paint a ray of hope around you, circling in the air, lighted by a prayer, a prayer… I’ll be your candle on the water. This flame inside of me will grow. Keep holding on; you’ll make it. Here’s my hand so take it. Look for me, reaching out to show as sure as rivers flow, I’ll never let you go…”
Yes, that’s right. I just quoted the entirety of Candle on the Water, from Pete’s Dragon. From memory, because I could sing that song in my sleep. Hearing that this episode was called Lighthouse, I immediately thought of the song, and I think now that whenever I hear it, I will imagine that Jacob is the singer, the one who puts out his beacon to summon his wayfaring chosen ones, who gently encourages them in their darkest moments although they are often unaware of it. And “Here’s my hand, so take it?” I mean, come on… Oh, and I love “A lighthouse? I don’t understand, how is it we didn’t see it before?” Hurley’s answer: “I guess we weren’t looking for it.” Seek and ye shall find, my friends. And Jack’s little speech about how his son can do no wrong in his eyes, how he will always love him, how he just wants to be a part of his life… That felt very Jacobean to me.
Who did Jacob want to summon? Well, as I’ve always associated this particular song with Desmond, thinking of Penny as the speaker, and as Eloise claimed that the Island wasn’t done with him yet - and this Scot-loving gal says it darned well better not be - my vote is with Mr. Hume, though I had to laugh because when Nathan and I compared notes, he immediately said Widmore. Maybe they’ll both come! Oh, wouldn’t that be a happy reunion?? Poor Charles. I strongly suspect that before this is all over he and Penny will reconcile, and we’ll find out that he actually has deep respect for Desmond, and only pushed all his buttons to get him to fulfill his Island destiny.
I loved Lighthouse. I loved how much we got to see of Jacob, first and foremost. Might he actually be a pretty regular character this season? That prospect excites me so much. I love that Hurley went ahead and compared him to Obi-Wan Kenobi, because I’ve been thinking that for a long time, since there was such an “If you strike me down now, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine” vibe to his last scene in The Incident, and since he now is appearing to Hurley much as Obi-Wan appeared to Luke. I love it because Hurley speaks for us. And because he loves Star Wars so much that he wrote his own version of The Empire Strikes Back. And because I think the first explicit reference to Star Wars on the show was when he congratulated Jack on his “Jedi moment” with Shannon when she lost her inhalers in Confidence Man.
Her inhalers. I am so glad that I watched that video of the LOST panel at Comic-Con, because I’m certain that was an inside joke just for the fans devoted enough to have attended that or watched the coverage. It was funny enough at the panel when Jorge, unleashing a barrage of questions on Darlton, asked, as an example of mysteries still left unresolved, “When Sayid tortured Sawyer to get Shannon’s inhalers, only he didn’t have them… Well, what happened to the inhalers?” We all had a good belly laugh over the idea of resolving such an inconsequential mystery. And then, lying there on the jungle floor just feet away from where Shannon probably had been… were the inhalers. I just about died laughing, unabashed by the funny looks Mom and Dad gave me. Priceless.
Of course, I was on the lookout for White Rabbit parallels, and I found them in spades. Both are about Jack dealing with his father issues. In this episode, he himself is a father, which is totally weird. And who is the mother? If it’s Sarah, they met in a very different way than in the original timeline. The fact that we didn’t see her rather makes me suspect it’s someone different.
His son’s name is David, which feels significant, especially since he kept repeating it, like they really wanted it to sink in. For now, all I can come up with is how utterly appropriate Hallelujah is to that fractured relationship: “I heard there was a secret chord that David played, and it pleased the Lord, but you don’t really care for music, do ya?” And there’s David clandestinely playing his music, not knowing his dad is there, and thinking he doesn’t care, or not wanting him to anyway, because he fears failure too much. Interesting that he attends a Catholic school, though since he mostly lives with his mother, that’s not necessarily indicative of a more faith-embracing Jack. Note, though, that David and Daniel, who seems a beautiful combination of Faith and Science, both played Chopin on the piano…
Coming upon the cave was, of course, another iconic White Rabbit moment. And the best? Jack staring out at the ocean, in unknowing communion with Jacob, just as he sat in silent communion with Rose at the end of White Rabbit. In that episode, Hurley wanted Jack to boss him around; he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t giving them instructions. Here, Hurley was calling the shots, while Jack meekly followed. (How perfect is it, by the way, that Shephard’s number is 23? And, for that matter, that bad-luck Hurley gets the magic 8...) And there’s Jack smashing his father’s empty coffin to pieces and the glass in his Island father’s empty lighthouse to pieces. Oh, and there was a rabbit with a white front, and Alice in Wonderland.
Beyond episode parallels, after waxing alchemical with my friend Beth, I was on the lookout for albedo images. Yet another person looking in the mirror in the bathroom, and with the water running. (And for sheer hilarity, can we include Old Spice dude and pretend LOST saw to it that he was there on purpose?) There was Jack and Dogen meeting by a reflective pool, and in a gentle rain no less, and Jacob sitting by the spring. More images of the ocean, out by the lighthouse. Kate by the creek. The waterfalls by the cave. For the second week in a row, one character offering another an alcoholic beverage, which the recipient does not drink. Of course, there was the aforementioned Alice in Wonderland, an essential LOST text involving a looking-glass. And you wanna talk about mirror imagery? Good golly, how about that shattered-into-a-million-pieces mirror in the lighthouse?
I like Dogen more with each passing episode, and I love the rapport he and Jack are developing. Two worthy leaders, from what I can see. So sweet to see them exchanging pleasantries in Sideways World, especially after their respectful conversation at the Temple. No Lennon this time, but while I really like him too, I can’t say I missed him much. Too much other great stuff going on. I was ecstatic to see Justin alive and semi-well… but oh, the synchronized scream from Mom and me when he got an axe to the abdomen! I imagine that Jin now changed his story because he wants to get back to the safety of the Temple, having realized that Claire is more than a little unhinged. But with Smokey showing up, I’m sure he’ll be trying to win Jin over with promises of a reunion with Sun.
Sideways Claire is a menace who strongly resembles the Rousseau we met in Solitary. Crazy hair, alarming traps, major trust issues, complete obsession with the abduction of her baby. Yes, she’s dark. But there’s also still a naivety about her, a sweet vulnerability, especially when she talks of her conspicuously nameless “friend” and asks Jin if they are still friends. She speaks as someone who’s been burned, who believes, as Ben does, that “It’s no use having friends you can’t trust.” She feels that she was abandoned. And she probably didn’t flash through time. She’s been living out in the wild, sometimes accompanied by Christian and Smokey, for three years. Question: Has she seen Smokey like John before, or are they now so connected that she can look right through his current skin to see the entity underneath? Oh, and her line “If there’s one thing around here that will kill you, it’s infection”? That ain’t the half of it…
We saw little of Sayid or Miles this week. Very interesting that Jack would just go ahead and tell Sayid about the poison pill. Good idea, bad idea? People seem surprisingly forthright in general this season. Everybody’s finally getting some answers. I loved the little tic tac toe game Miles and Hurley had going. What a hoot! But can we please see a little more of Miles? He’s being totally underused right now.
Given that I was sure I’d heard Jacob’s voice in the preview saying, “Someone is coming to the Island,” I figured we’d be seeing him again, but I still squealed with delight when he turned up at the magic spring. And I cracked up over Hurley writing notes all over his arm, especially after all the kerfuffle with Sarah Palin, especially knowing that this episode was in the can months before that happened. Synchronicity! And I love Hurley’s newfound sense of purpose, which gives him such conviction, though he’s not afraid to question and get a little agitated. But only a little. Hurley is the little child one must be to enter the kingdom of Heaven. So he follows, and he leads, and occasionally he asks Jacob the sorts of things we all want to know (and I especially loved his musings that Adam and Eve could be two of them after having traveled far back in time), but if he doesn’t get any very solid answers, he shrugs it off. It’s his way.
How fantastic was the score tonight? I was hyper-aware of it. All of the strains of Jacob’s theme from the opening scene of The Incident. The adventurish music that accompanied Hurley’s breakout plan, and later trekking through the jungle. And the way the score fused with David’s piano playing was soul-stirringly gorgeous, a perfect musical representation of what was happening between father and son. Also, I absolutely loved “You have what it takes.” Fist pump! Don’t listen to your dad, Jack; you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!
After the absolute mind-altering brilliance that was The Substitute, I wasn’t so sure how this episode would measure up, but it felt every bit as fantastic to me as last week’s, and I’m all aquiver with anticipation for Sundown. (And can we get some Gordon Lightfoot on the ol’ Dharma record player, please?) Aside from that happy thought, and the obvious pun on Sun’s name, the title feels ominous. Could this be the move into rubedo? I associate sundown with a blood-red sky. And we know a war is coming. Perhaps it starts next week. Shudder. And I’m guessing Hurley and Jack will go back; I don’t think they can leave their friends in the lurch, nor do I think Jacob honestly expects them to. So dangerous times ahead. And there’s also Hurley’s troubling red shirt, which I really wish he’d permanently retire. And yet… you know what else is red? Ketchup. Really good ketchup worthy of the song Anticipation. Oh yes, I am anticipating something amazing…
“I’ll be your candle on the water. My love for you will always burn. I know you’re lost and drifting, but the clouds are lifting. Don’t give up; you have somewhere to turn. I’ll be your candle on the water ‘til every wave is warm and bright. My heart is here beside you. Let my candle guide you. Soon you’ll see a golden stream of light. A cold and friendless tide has found you. Don’t let the stormy darkness pull you down. I’ll paint a ray of hope around you, circling in the air, lighted by a prayer, a prayer… I’ll be your candle on the water. This flame inside of me will grow. Keep holding on; you’ll make it. Here’s my hand so take it. Look for me, reaching out to show as sure as rivers flow, I’ll never let you go…”
Yes, that’s right. I just quoted the entirety of Candle on the Water, from Pete’s Dragon. From memory, because I could sing that song in my sleep. Hearing that this episode was called Lighthouse, I immediately thought of the song, and I think now that whenever I hear it, I will imagine that Jacob is the singer, the one who puts out his beacon to summon his wayfaring chosen ones, who gently encourages them in their darkest moments although they are often unaware of it. And “Here’s my hand, so take it?” I mean, come on… Oh, and I love “A lighthouse? I don’t understand, how is it we didn’t see it before?” Hurley’s answer: “I guess we weren’t looking for it.” Seek and ye shall find, my friends. And Jack’s little speech about how his son can do no wrong in his eyes, how he will always love him, how he just wants to be a part of his life… That felt very Jacobean to me.
Who did Jacob want to summon? Well, as I’ve always associated this particular song with Desmond, thinking of Penny as the speaker, and as Eloise claimed that the Island wasn’t done with him yet - and this Scot-loving gal says it darned well better not be - my vote is with Mr. Hume, though I had to laugh because when Nathan and I compared notes, he immediately said Widmore. Maybe they’ll both come! Oh, wouldn’t that be a happy reunion?? Poor Charles. I strongly suspect that before this is all over he and Penny will reconcile, and we’ll find out that he actually has deep respect for Desmond, and only pushed all his buttons to get him to fulfill his Island destiny.
I loved Lighthouse. I loved how much we got to see of Jacob, first and foremost. Might he actually be a pretty regular character this season? That prospect excites me so much. I love that Hurley went ahead and compared him to Obi-Wan Kenobi, because I’ve been thinking that for a long time, since there was such an “If you strike me down now, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine” vibe to his last scene in The Incident, and since he now is appearing to Hurley much as Obi-Wan appeared to Luke. I love it because Hurley speaks for us. And because he loves Star Wars so much that he wrote his own version of The Empire Strikes Back. And because I think the first explicit reference to Star Wars on the show was when he congratulated Jack on his “Jedi moment” with Shannon when she lost her inhalers in Confidence Man.
Her inhalers. I am so glad that I watched that video of the LOST panel at Comic-Con, because I’m certain that was an inside joke just for the fans devoted enough to have attended that or watched the coverage. It was funny enough at the panel when Jorge, unleashing a barrage of questions on Darlton, asked, as an example of mysteries still left unresolved, “When Sayid tortured Sawyer to get Shannon’s inhalers, only he didn’t have them… Well, what happened to the inhalers?” We all had a good belly laugh over the idea of resolving such an inconsequential mystery. And then, lying there on the jungle floor just feet away from where Shannon probably had been… were the inhalers. I just about died laughing, unabashed by the funny looks Mom and Dad gave me. Priceless.
Of course, I was on the lookout for White Rabbit parallels, and I found them in spades. Both are about Jack dealing with his father issues. In this episode, he himself is a father, which is totally weird. And who is the mother? If it’s Sarah, they met in a very different way than in the original timeline. The fact that we didn’t see her rather makes me suspect it’s someone different.
His son’s name is David, which feels significant, especially since he kept repeating it, like they really wanted it to sink in. For now, all I can come up with is how utterly appropriate Hallelujah is to that fractured relationship: “I heard there was a secret chord that David played, and it pleased the Lord, but you don’t really care for music, do ya?” And there’s David clandestinely playing his music, not knowing his dad is there, and thinking he doesn’t care, or not wanting him to anyway, because he fears failure too much. Interesting that he attends a Catholic school, though since he mostly lives with his mother, that’s not necessarily indicative of a more faith-embracing Jack. Note, though, that David and Daniel, who seems a beautiful combination of Faith and Science, both played Chopin on the piano…
Coming upon the cave was, of course, another iconic White Rabbit moment. And the best? Jack staring out at the ocean, in unknowing communion with Jacob, just as he sat in silent communion with Rose at the end of White Rabbit. In that episode, Hurley wanted Jack to boss him around; he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t giving them instructions. Here, Hurley was calling the shots, while Jack meekly followed. (How perfect is it, by the way, that Shephard’s number is 23? And, for that matter, that bad-luck Hurley gets the magic 8...) And there’s Jack smashing his father’s empty coffin to pieces and the glass in his Island father’s empty lighthouse to pieces. Oh, and there was a rabbit with a white front, and Alice in Wonderland.
Beyond episode parallels, after waxing alchemical with my friend Beth, I was on the lookout for albedo images. Yet another person looking in the mirror in the bathroom, and with the water running. (And for sheer hilarity, can we include Old Spice dude and pretend LOST saw to it that he was there on purpose?) There was Jack and Dogen meeting by a reflective pool, and in a gentle rain no less, and Jacob sitting by the spring. More images of the ocean, out by the lighthouse. Kate by the creek. The waterfalls by the cave. For the second week in a row, one character offering another an alcoholic beverage, which the recipient does not drink. Of course, there was the aforementioned Alice in Wonderland, an essential LOST text involving a looking-glass. And you wanna talk about mirror imagery? Good golly, how about that shattered-into-a-million-pieces mirror in the lighthouse?
I like Dogen more with each passing episode, and I love the rapport he and Jack are developing. Two worthy leaders, from what I can see. So sweet to see them exchanging pleasantries in Sideways World, especially after their respectful conversation at the Temple. No Lennon this time, but while I really like him too, I can’t say I missed him much. Too much other great stuff going on. I was ecstatic to see Justin alive and semi-well… but oh, the synchronized scream from Mom and me when he got an axe to the abdomen! I imagine that Jin now changed his story because he wants to get back to the safety of the Temple, having realized that Claire is more than a little unhinged. But with Smokey showing up, I’m sure he’ll be trying to win Jin over with promises of a reunion with Sun.
Sideways Claire is a menace who strongly resembles the Rousseau we met in Solitary. Crazy hair, alarming traps, major trust issues, complete obsession with the abduction of her baby. Yes, she’s dark. But there’s also still a naivety about her, a sweet vulnerability, especially when she talks of her conspicuously nameless “friend” and asks Jin if they are still friends. She speaks as someone who’s been burned, who believes, as Ben does, that “It’s no use having friends you can’t trust.” She feels that she was abandoned. And she probably didn’t flash through time. She’s been living out in the wild, sometimes accompanied by Christian and Smokey, for three years. Question: Has she seen Smokey like John before, or are they now so connected that she can look right through his current skin to see the entity underneath? Oh, and her line “If there’s one thing around here that will kill you, it’s infection”? That ain’t the half of it…
We saw little of Sayid or Miles this week. Very interesting that Jack would just go ahead and tell Sayid about the poison pill. Good idea, bad idea? People seem surprisingly forthright in general this season. Everybody’s finally getting some answers. I loved the little tic tac toe game Miles and Hurley had going. What a hoot! But can we please see a little more of Miles? He’s being totally underused right now.
Given that I was sure I’d heard Jacob’s voice in the preview saying, “Someone is coming to the Island,” I figured we’d be seeing him again, but I still squealed with delight when he turned up at the magic spring. And I cracked up over Hurley writing notes all over his arm, especially after all the kerfuffle with Sarah Palin, especially knowing that this episode was in the can months before that happened. Synchronicity! And I love Hurley’s newfound sense of purpose, which gives him such conviction, though he’s not afraid to question and get a little agitated. But only a little. Hurley is the little child one must be to enter the kingdom of Heaven. So he follows, and he leads, and occasionally he asks Jacob the sorts of things we all want to know (and I especially loved his musings that Adam and Eve could be two of them after having traveled far back in time), but if he doesn’t get any very solid answers, he shrugs it off. It’s his way.
How fantastic was the score tonight? I was hyper-aware of it. All of the strains of Jacob’s theme from the opening scene of The Incident. The adventurish music that accompanied Hurley’s breakout plan, and later trekking through the jungle. And the way the score fused with David’s piano playing was soul-stirringly gorgeous, a perfect musical representation of what was happening between father and son. Also, I absolutely loved “You have what it takes.” Fist pump! Don’t listen to your dad, Jack; you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!
After the absolute mind-altering brilliance that was The Substitute, I wasn’t so sure how this episode would measure up, but it felt every bit as fantastic to me as last week’s, and I’m all aquiver with anticipation for Sundown. (And can we get some Gordon Lightfoot on the ol’ Dharma record player, please?) Aside from that happy thought, and the obvious pun on Sun’s name, the title feels ominous. Could this be the move into rubedo? I associate sundown with a blood-red sky. And we know a war is coming. Perhaps it starts next week. Shudder. And I’m guessing Hurley and Jack will go back; I don’t think they can leave their friends in the lurch, nor do I think Jacob honestly expects them to. So dangerous times ahead. And there’s also Hurley’s troubling red shirt, which I really wish he’d permanently retire. And yet… you know what else is red? Ketchup. Really good ketchup worthy of the song Anticipation. Oh yes, I am anticipating something amazing…
Monday, February 22, 2010
Crazytown (The Orange and the Green, traditional)
"What about you? You wanna stay here in Crazytown or help me rescue the geek?" - Sawyer, Jughead
LOST's book-loving Sawyer is a natural-born storyteller. I had fun last year wriitng a parody in which he recounts his experience in LaFleur, and this is the same basic idea, but instead it's The Lie and Jughead, and it's addressed specifically to Juliet, to the tune of the Irish Rovers' version of The Orange and the Green. (Hat-tip to Amanda at GritFX, who partly inspired this one with one of her awesome designs.)
Crazytown
I said, “I’ll give you two options.
Which challenge will you seek?
You wanna stay in Crazytown
Or help me save the geek?”
While we sat there on the shoreline,
Just regrouping with the rest,
We saw a flaming arrow
Hittin’ Frogurt in the chest.
Well, of course, we ran for cover;
I yelled, “Meet at the creek!”
And we got separated from
The redhead and the geek.
I said, “I’ll give you two options.
Which challenge will you seek?
You wanna stay in Crazytown
Or help me save the geek?”
I guess it wasn’t quite so smart
To give away our mark.
Yeah, it would’ve worked out better
If we’d kept ‘em in the dark.
Well, thank goodness for the Colonel.
Yes, I bless his big bald head,
For if not for him and his huge knife,
We’d probably be dead.
I said, “I’ll give you two options.
Which challenge will you seek?
You wanna stay in Crazytown
Or help me save the geek?”
We asked the hothead Others
About where they came from.
You busted out the Latin,
And I felt a little dumb.
But not as dumb as Rambo,
Who went to talk to Rick
While Dan was bein’ death marched.
Oh, it kinda made me sick.
I said, “I’ll give you two options.
Which challenge will you seek?
You wanna stay in Crazytown
Or help me save the geek?”
You saw her with a rifle
Aimed right at Faraday
And offered, “Hey, why don’t we all
Just put our guns away?”
Your voice was calm and quiet,
But you still were firm enough
To rattle Miss Attila
And to prove to me you’re tough.
I said, “I’ll give you two options.
Which challenge will you seek?
You wanna stay in Crazytown
Or help me save the geek?”
Well, just then we flashed through time again,
And she whizzed out of sight.
But Blondie, you’ve got chutzpah
And I guess that you’re all right.
I thought that back with Freckles,
My love life hit a peak,
But now I see you with new eyes
Since we rescued the geek.
I said, “I’ll give you two options.
Which challenge will you seek?
You wanna stay in Crazytown
Or help me save the geek?”
I said, “I’ll give you two options.
Which challenge will you seek?
You wanna stay in Crazytown
Or help me save the geek?”
Well, I Certainly Hope You Help Him (Heaven on Their Minds, Andrew Lloyd Webber / Tim Rice)
"Well, I certainly hope he helps you, John!"
- Ben, The Man Behind the Curtain
LOST has been inviting plenty of comparisons between Ben Linus and Judas Iscariot, so I suppose it was only a matter of time before I busted out the weathered copy of 1973's Jesus Christ Superstar. Here's a rant from Ben on what was probably the most miserable birthday of his life - and that's really saying something - to the tune of Heaven on Their Minds.
Well, I Certainly Hope You Help Him
He heard you clearly there.
“Help me,”
You implored
As I stared
At that old
Rocking chair.
I’m the leader here,
But I
Didn’t hear
As I stared
At that old
Rocking chair.
Jacob!
You wanna fire me?
Come tell me so yourself,
And not by sending things
Cascading from the shelf!
For one time in your life,
Why can’t you just be frank?
After all I’ve done for you,
Here’s how you say thanks?
Listen, Jacob,
Who needs him anyway?
Way to drop this bomb on my own birthday!
Way to tell me
My years of servitude were a waste.
You know, I have questions too,
But I would not barge in on you.
I don’t get why you’d reward his haste.
I remember when I first saw your face -
Wait, no, I don’t, since that never took place!
You appoint me
But never let me look you in the eye.
I always believed that you exist
Though you’re as murky as the mist.
I had faith in you, and now I fry.
Did you see his hissy fit?
Let me clue you in a bit.
Threw a tantrum like a tot.
Who would’ve thought?
Can you tell that makes me mad?
Bet he didn’t kill his dad.
Bet he fobbed it off on James.
Him and his games!
Listen, Jacob, is it too much to hope
That you’ll stop treating me like a dope?
I have lived for you,
But I have no idea who you are!
Say a word or two to me.
Just show me that one courtesy.
I’ve been patient and sincere so far.
Oh, but just so far!
Listen, Jacob, you know I’m on your team.
I’m exhausted, though, and just want to scream.
Can you blame me if I want to see to it his life goes dim?
Though he’s still consumed by doubt,
You ask him to help you out.
Well, I certainly hope you help him.
Yes, I hope you help him.
Oh… Oh…
Listen, Jacob, you know I’m on your team.
All your secrecy with me makes me scream.
So come on, come on… you won’t listen to me now.
Ah… Ah…
Come on, listen, listen to me.
Come on, listen to me now.
Ah…
Come on, listen to me.
Listen, listen to me.
Oh… Oh…
Come on, listen to me. Listen to me...
- Ben, The Man Behind the Curtain
LOST has been inviting plenty of comparisons between Ben Linus and Judas Iscariot, so I suppose it was only a matter of time before I busted out the weathered copy of 1973's Jesus Christ Superstar. Here's a rant from Ben on what was probably the most miserable birthday of his life - and that's really saying something - to the tune of Heaven on Their Minds.
Well, I Certainly Hope You Help Him
He heard you clearly there.
“Help me,”
You implored
As I stared
At that old
Rocking chair.
I’m the leader here,
But I
Didn’t hear
As I stared
At that old
Rocking chair.
Jacob!
You wanna fire me?
Come tell me so yourself,
And not by sending things
Cascading from the shelf!
For one time in your life,
Why can’t you just be frank?
After all I’ve done for you,
Here’s how you say thanks?
Listen, Jacob,
Who needs him anyway?
Way to drop this bomb on my own birthday!
Way to tell me
My years of servitude were a waste.
You know, I have questions too,
But I would not barge in on you.
I don’t get why you’d reward his haste.
I remember when I first saw your face -
Wait, no, I don’t, since that never took place!
You appoint me
But never let me look you in the eye.
I always believed that you exist
Though you’re as murky as the mist.
I had faith in you, and now I fry.
Did you see his hissy fit?
Let me clue you in a bit.
Threw a tantrum like a tot.
Who would’ve thought?
Can you tell that makes me mad?
Bet he didn’t kill his dad.
Bet he fobbed it off on James.
Him and his games!
Listen, Jacob, is it too much to hope
That you’ll stop treating me like a dope?
I have lived for you,
But I have no idea who you are!
Say a word or two to me.
Just show me that one courtesy.
I’ve been patient and sincere so far.
Oh, but just so far!
Listen, Jacob, you know I’m on your team.
I’m exhausted, though, and just want to scream.
Can you blame me if I want to see to it his life goes dim?
Though he’s still consumed by doubt,
You ask him to help you out.
Well, I certainly hope you help him.
Yes, I hope you help him.
Oh… Oh…
Listen, Jacob, you know I’m on your team.
All your secrecy with me makes me scream.
So come on, come on… you won’t listen to me now.
Ah… Ah…
Come on, listen, listen to me.
Come on, listen to me now.
Ah…
Come on, listen to me.
Listen, listen to me.
Oh… Oh…
Come on, listen to me. Listen to me...
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Faraday (Fly Away, John Denver)
Yesterday, I incorporated a bit of a dialogue between Daniel and Jacob into my LOST song dealing with Charlotte's landing on the Island. I wanted to explore that further, and I had a revelation. The title of the season five episode The Little Prince always bothered me a bit, since the book is never seen or mentioned, nor quoted from, and aside from the appearance of the French team, I couldn't see much of a correlation. I think I've finally figured it out. The Little Prince is Daniel Faraday.
In Because You Left, we learned that Daniel Faraday's mother had something important to say to Desmond. In The Lie, we learned that Ben was meeting with Ms Hawking, previously seen only in connection with Desmond, in Los Angeles and that she was key to getting everyone back to the Island. In Jughead, we learned that Daniel's mother was now living in Los Angeles and that Charles Widmore knew her. We also met Ellie on the Island for the first time - and given that his rat's name was Eloise, it wasn't much of a stretch to imagine that could be her, especially since Daniel recognized her. And, of course, we discovered that young Charles was living on the Island too. All of the clues had been carefully laid out. I believe that The Little Prince was an indication of Daniel's true identity - the son of former Island Queen Eloise Hawking and Island King Charles Widmore.
What's more, in Jughead, the episode in which Daniel finally overtly declared his love for her, Charlotte first suffered serious side effects from time travel. In his part of the story, The Little Prince is primarily concerned with him figuring out why this is happening to Charlotte and how to stop it. To quote the book referenced in the title, "You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." Daniel has "tamed" Charlotte, and now his mandate is to protect her.
All this is to say that Daniel Faraday has a pretty special place in LOST lore. And this week - though I had to consult Lostpedia for confirmation - he was revealed as a Candidate, bearing the number 101. I suspect that Jacob cares a great deal about this prince who was, presumably, taken off the Island when he was little indeed - before he was born. And just as the Little Prince longed to return to his tiny planet and the rose he loved, Daniel, without consciously realizing it, longed to return to his Island and the girl to whom he would issue a protective warning, in her past and his future.
Here's a dialogue between Jacob and Daniel to the tune of John Denver's Fly Away.
Faraday
Jacob: All of your dreams have been disregarded.
Sometimes it’s too much to bear.
Your life has never been yours to pilot.
Daniel, it doesn’t seem fair.
Faraday.
Come, blessed Island son.
Faraday.
Come, Number One-Oh-One.
Faraday.
Life in a lab coat has made you lonely
For more down-to-earth company.
(Daniel: More company…)
Jacob: Life in the shadow of Eloise
Has limited who you can be.
Faraday.
Come, blessed Island son.
Faraday.
Come, Number One-Oh-One.
Faraday.
Daniel, one day you’ll be able to do as you please.
(Daniel: One day I will do as I please.)
Jacob: No longer controlled by your father and by Eloise.
(Daniel: No Eloise…)
Jacob: You’re waiting for someone to share your life with.
You’re waiting for laughter and song.
(Daniel: Where is my song?)
Jacob: You’re waiting for someone who cares for you.
Oh, Dan, you won’t have to wait long.
Faraday.
Come, blessed Island son.
Faraday.
Come, Number One-Oh-One.
Faraday.
Come, blessed Island son.
Faraday.
Daniel: Where is my beauty?
Why only strife?
Let me have music
And love in my life.
Love in my life…
Fly Away
In Because You Left, we learned that Daniel Faraday's mother had something important to say to Desmond. In The Lie, we learned that Ben was meeting with Ms Hawking, previously seen only in connection with Desmond, in Los Angeles and that she was key to getting everyone back to the Island. In Jughead, we learned that Daniel's mother was now living in Los Angeles and that Charles Widmore knew her. We also met Ellie on the Island for the first time - and given that his rat's name was Eloise, it wasn't much of a stretch to imagine that could be her, especially since Daniel recognized her. And, of course, we discovered that young Charles was living on the Island too. All of the clues had been carefully laid out. I believe that The Little Prince was an indication of Daniel's true identity - the son of former Island Queen Eloise Hawking and Island King Charles Widmore.
What's more, in Jughead, the episode in which Daniel finally overtly declared his love for her, Charlotte first suffered serious side effects from time travel. In his part of the story, The Little Prince is primarily concerned with him figuring out why this is happening to Charlotte and how to stop it. To quote the book referenced in the title, "You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." Daniel has "tamed" Charlotte, and now his mandate is to protect her.
All this is to say that Daniel Faraday has a pretty special place in LOST lore. And this week - though I had to consult Lostpedia for confirmation - he was revealed as a Candidate, bearing the number 101. I suspect that Jacob cares a great deal about this prince who was, presumably, taken off the Island when he was little indeed - before he was born. And just as the Little Prince longed to return to his tiny planet and the rose he loved, Daniel, without consciously realizing it, longed to return to his Island and the girl to whom he would issue a protective warning, in her past and his future.
Here's a dialogue between Jacob and Daniel to the tune of John Denver's Fly Away.
Faraday
Jacob: All of your dreams have been disregarded.
Sometimes it’s too much to bear.
Your life has never been yours to pilot.
Daniel, it doesn’t seem fair.
Faraday.
Come, blessed Island son.
Faraday.
Come, Number One-Oh-One.
Faraday.
Life in a lab coat has made you lonely
For more down-to-earth company.
(Daniel: More company…)
Jacob: Life in the shadow of Eloise
Has limited who you can be.
Faraday.
Come, blessed Island son.
Faraday.
Come, Number One-Oh-One.
Faraday.
Daniel, one day you’ll be able to do as you please.
(Daniel: One day I will do as I please.)
Jacob: No longer controlled by your father and by Eloise.
(Daniel: No Eloise…)
Jacob: You’re waiting for someone to share your life with.
You’re waiting for laughter and song.
(Daniel: Where is my song?)
Jacob: You’re waiting for someone who cares for you.
Oh, Dan, you won’t have to wait long.
Faraday.
Come, blessed Island son.
Faraday.
Come, Number One-Oh-One.
Faraday.
Come, blessed Island son.
Faraday.
Daniel: Where is my beauty?
Why only strife?
Let me have music
And love in my life.
Love in my life…
Fly Away
Alexandra (Hallelujah, Leonard Cohen)
"She's not my daughter. I stole her as a baby from an insane woman. She's a pawn, nothing more. She means nothing to me. I'm not coming out of this house. So if you want to kill her, go ahead and do it - "
- Ben, The Shape of Things to Come
Ben has always been one of the most fascinating characters on LOST, and his tale seems continually marked by tragedy, some of it brought upon himself. It's hard to say how much blame he deserves for the death of his adopted daughter in the devastating season four episode The Shape of Things to Come, but it's clearly something that's been eating away at him. Season six's The Substitute gives me reason to hope that Sideways Ben, purified by his horrific experience on the Island and his remorseful reponse to his complicity, is atoning for his failure to protect his daughter by spending his days in a position where he can guide teens like her to better lives. Here's a reflection to the tune of Rufus Wainwright's version of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah.
Alexandra
It hadn’t been an easy year.
The little girl who you held so dear
Had made it pretty clear she couldn’t stand ya.
Oh, teenage love’s a tricky thing.
You only sought to clip her wings
To fling away a threat to Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.
Defiantly, you had made her yours.
You snatched her from the out-of-doors
Though wars were fought and Widmore would’ve banned ya.
And yet it was your choice to spare
The child and leave her mother there,
Despairingly imploring, “Alexandra!”
Alexandra, Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.
Steering her to the secret spot,
You sought some solace in the thought
She’d not be caught by those who would demand ya.
But Keamy brought her back home to you.
Now your mind games wouldn’t do,
And you knew that you had lost your Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.
The mercenary called your bluff.
You loved her, Ben, but not enough.
You gruffly said the isle would reprimand ya.
In the dead of night, your darkest dreams
Were littered with the tortured screams
Of Keamy’s lily victim, Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.
You were traumatized at first
And, haunted by your last outburst,
You cursed the man accustomed to command ya.
But the blameless blood that was freely spilt
Then forged in you a transforming guilt,
So you built a life to honor Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.
Alexandra, Alexandra.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Give Them Life (All This Joy, John Denver)
LOST is chock-full of fascinating characters. But if I had to pinpoint the four most important, at least of those we've known from the very first season, I'd have to go with Jack, Sawyer, Hurley and John. Here's a little dialogue between head writers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse and viewers, to the tune of John Denver's All This Joy.
Give Them Life
Darlton: This is Jack.
This is Sawyer.
This is Hurley.
This is John.
He’s a doc.
He’s a conman.
He’s a rich man.
He’s a chump.
Pity poor Jack.
Pity poor Sawyer.
Pity poor Hurley.
Pity poor John.
He lacks faith.
He lacks scruples.
He lacks self-worth.
He lacks life.
Viewers: Please save Jack.
Please save Sawyer.
Please save Hurley
And please save John.
Just give him faith.
Give him scruples.
Give him self-worth.
Give him life.
Darlton: We’ll save Jack.
We’ll save Sawyer.
We’ll save Hurley.
We’ll save John.
He’ll find faith.
He’ll find scruples.
He’ll find self-worth.
He’ll find life.
They’ll have self-worth.
They’ll have life.
Give Them Life
Darlton: This is Jack.
This is Sawyer.
This is Hurley.
This is John.
He’s a doc.
He’s a conman.
He’s a rich man.
He’s a chump.
Pity poor Jack.
Pity poor Sawyer.
Pity poor Hurley.
Pity poor John.
He lacks faith.
He lacks scruples.
He lacks self-worth.
He lacks life.
Viewers: Please save Jack.
Please save Sawyer.
Please save Hurley
And please save John.
Just give him faith.
Give him scruples.
Give him self-worth.
Give him life.
Darlton: We’ll save Jack.
We’ll save Sawyer.
We’ll save Hurley.
We’ll save John.
He’ll find faith.
He’ll find scruples.
He’ll find self-worth.
He’ll find life.
They’ll have self-worth.
They’ll have life.
Way Over (Overs, Paul Simon)
"Half the stuff he says goes way over my head; the other half goes way, way over." - Frank, The Economist
Frank Lapidus is appropriately named, because he's always a straight shooter, and in season four's The Economist, he's certainly not too proud to admit to Jack that he and Daniel aren't exactly operating on the same wavelength. Here's a little reflection to the tune of Simon and Garfunkel's Overs.
Way Over
Frank: Don’t ask me, “What’s Faraday’s deal?”
He goes way over, over, over
My head, Jack.
I’ve said, Jack,
That regular guys simply can’t keep track
Of the crazy things he has in his noggin.
It’s clear to me that he’s smart.
He makes me nervous, he’s so jittery.
Although you just met him yesterday,
You can see his mind’s always far away.
And I’ve got no clue what he has in his pack.
Daniel: Pack the bearings that I gave you.
Frank, I know they’ll save you.
Better be prepared for
Nasty weather…
Frank: I don’t get Faraday.
But I am glad that we’re stuck with him.
Without his expertise, I don’t know what we’d do.
And yet, at the same time, I don’t mind tellin’ you
The stuff
He tells me goes way over.
Overs
John Locke in the Rain (Brown Girl in the Ring, Traditional)
One of my favorite images from LOST is the iconic shot of John Locke on the beach, giddy as he gets drenched in his first rainstorm on the Island. His curious relationship with rain continues throughout the series. Here's a cheerful ditty about why John is so happy to get soaked, to the tune of Boney M.'s Brown Girl in the Ring.
John Locke in the Rain
John Locke in the rain,
Grinning at the sky.
John Locke in the rain.
What a happy fella!
John Locke in the rain.
Not sure how or why,
But he knows just when it’s gonna stop.
To the drop!
Miracles happen.
Yes, indeed, they do!
Oh, yes, miracles happen.
He’ll tell Walt about it.
Miracles happen.
He has been renewed
And he knows just when it’s gonna stop.
To the drop!
He was in a wheelchair.
Suddenly he walks instead.
He was in a wheelchair.
Suddenly he walks instead.
Does he know, had Jacob not been there,
He would probably now be dead?
Does he know, had Jacob not been there,
He would probably now be dead?
Miracle. Yes, it’s a miracle.
John Locke in the rain,
Grinning at the sky.
Yes, it’s John Locke in the rain.
What a happy fella!
John Locke in the rain.
Not sure how or why,
But he knows just when it’s gonna stop.
To the drop!
Miracles happen.
Yes, indeed they do!
Oh, yes, miracles happen.
He’ll tell Walt about it.
Miracles happen.
He has been renewed
And he knows just when it’s gonna stop.
To the drop!
He was in a wheelchair.
Suddenly he walks instead.
Does he know, had Jacob not been there,
He would probably now be dead?
Miracle. Yes, it’s a miracle.
John Locke in the rain,
Grinning at the sky.
It’s John Locke in the rain.
What a happy fella!
John Locke in the rain.
Not sure how or why,
But he knows just when it’s gonna stop.
To the drop!
He was in a wheelchair.
Suddenly he walks instead.
He was in a wheelchair.
Suddenly he walks instead.
John Locke in the rain,
Grinning at the sky.
John Locke in the rain.
What a happy fella!
John Locke in the rain.
Not sure how or why,
But he knows just when it’s gonna stop.
To the drop!
John Locke in the Rain
John Locke in the rain,
Grinning at the sky.
John Locke in the rain.
What a happy fella!
John Locke in the rain.
Not sure how or why,
But he knows just when it’s gonna stop.
To the drop!
Miracles happen.
Yes, indeed, they do!
Oh, yes, miracles happen.
He’ll tell Walt about it.
Miracles happen.
He has been renewed
And he knows just when it’s gonna stop.
To the drop!
He was in a wheelchair.
Suddenly he walks instead.
He was in a wheelchair.
Suddenly he walks instead.
Does he know, had Jacob not been there,
He would probably now be dead?
Does he know, had Jacob not been there,
He would probably now be dead?
Miracle. Yes, it’s a miracle.
John Locke in the rain,
Grinning at the sky.
Yes, it’s John Locke in the rain.
What a happy fella!
John Locke in the rain.
Not sure how or why,
But he knows just when it’s gonna stop.
To the drop!
Miracles happen.
Yes, indeed they do!
Oh, yes, miracles happen.
He’ll tell Walt about it.
Miracles happen.
He has been renewed
And he knows just when it’s gonna stop.
To the drop!
He was in a wheelchair.
Suddenly he walks instead.
Does he know, had Jacob not been there,
He would probably now be dead?
Miracle. Yes, it’s a miracle.
John Locke in the rain,
Grinning at the sky.
It’s John Locke in the rain.
What a happy fella!
John Locke in the rain.
Not sure how or why,
But he knows just when it’s gonna stop.
To the drop!
He was in a wheelchair.
Suddenly he walks instead.
He was in a wheelchair.
Suddenly he walks instead.
John Locke in the rain,
Grinning at the sky.
John Locke in the rain.
What a happy fella!
John Locke in the rain.
Not sure how or why,
But he knows just when it’s gonna stop.
To the drop!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Tell My Sister That I Love Her (Knock Three Times, Tony Orlando)
"Yeah, you remember when she said, "Tell my sister I love her"? Well, she doesn't have a sister. That's what we're supposed to say if we get captured, have a gun to our heads. Like right now, Jack here would say, "Tell my sister I love her," you get it?"
- Miles, Confirmed Dead
Last night, while looking up Tony Orlando and Dawn's Candida online, I happened upon Knock Three Times, so that was in my mind when I rewatched Confirmed Dead, the season four LOST episode introducing the Freighter Four. I was especially struck by Miles' exaggerated aggression and Daniel's complete confusion; guess he missed the meeting when they handed out the secret codes. Here's a little recreation of that scene to the latter tune.
Tell My Sister That I Love Her
Miles: Hey there, Jack. I think that you’re nuts
If you believe our security’s really so shoddy.
I know all about her dying.
There’s a likely chance you’re lying.
Soon I will know
Because you’re gonna show me
Her body.
Here’s the story.
If I say,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Jack, that is the sign -
Daniel: What sign?
Miles: There’s a gun to my head.
Get this straight, Dan.
Since she said,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Oh, I have a hunch -
Daniel: What hunch?
Miles: Why Naomi is dead.
Okay, I guess you guys are all right.
Don’t ask me how, but I now know
That you didn’t knife her.
You seem like a decent fella,
So here’s what I am gonna tell ya:
Be sure to keep your nose out, sniffing for codes to decipher.
Here’s the story.
If I say,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Jack, that is the sign -
Daniel: What sign?
Miles: There’s a gun to my head.
Get this straight, Dan.
Since she said,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Oh, I have a hunch -
Daniel: What hunch?
Miles: Why Naomi is dead.
Oh. I know all about her dying.
There’s a likely chance you’re lying.
Soon I will know
Because you’re gonna show me
Her body.
Here’s the story.
If I say,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Jack, that is the sign -
Daniel: What sign?
Miles: There’s a gun to my head.
(Daniel: I get it, I get it, I get it...)
Miles: Way to go, Dan!
Since she said,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Oh, I had a hunch -
Daniel: Wrong hunch!
Miles: Why Naomi is dead.
- Miles, Confirmed Dead
Last night, while looking up Tony Orlando and Dawn's Candida online, I happened upon Knock Three Times, so that was in my mind when I rewatched Confirmed Dead, the season four LOST episode introducing the Freighter Four. I was especially struck by Miles' exaggerated aggression and Daniel's complete confusion; guess he missed the meeting when they handed out the secret codes. Here's a little recreation of that scene to the latter tune.
Tell My Sister That I Love Her
Miles: Hey there, Jack. I think that you’re nuts
If you believe our security’s really so shoddy.
I know all about her dying.
There’s a likely chance you’re lying.
Soon I will know
Because you’re gonna show me
Her body.
Here’s the story.
If I say,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Jack, that is the sign -
Daniel: What sign?
Miles: There’s a gun to my head.
Get this straight, Dan.
Since she said,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Oh, I have a hunch -
Daniel: What hunch?
Miles: Why Naomi is dead.
Okay, I guess you guys are all right.
Don’t ask me how, but I now know
That you didn’t knife her.
You seem like a decent fella,
So here’s what I am gonna tell ya:
Be sure to keep your nose out, sniffing for codes to decipher.
Here’s the story.
If I say,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Jack, that is the sign -
Daniel: What sign?
Miles: There’s a gun to my head.
Get this straight, Dan.
Since she said,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Oh, I have a hunch -
Daniel: What hunch?
Miles: Why Naomi is dead.
Oh. I know all about her dying.
There’s a likely chance you’re lying.
Soon I will know
Because you’re gonna show me
Her body.
Here’s the story.
If I say,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Jack, that is the sign -
Daniel: What sign?
Miles: There’s a gun to my head.
(Daniel: I get it, I get it, I get it...)
Miles: Way to go, Dan!
Since she said,
“Tell my sister that I love her,”
Oh, I had a hunch -
Daniel: Wrong hunch!
Miles: Why Naomi is dead.
Don't Tell Me What I Can't Do! (I Don't Mind If I Do, Traditional)
"Don't tell me what I can't do!"
- John, Walkabout
If there's one word I associate with LOST's John Locke, it's "destiny," but if there's one phrase, it's "Don't tell me what I can't do!" Here's a song reflecting that, to the tune of the Irish Rovers' I Don't Mind If I Do.
Don’t Tell Me What I Can’t Do!
You asked me to tell you my favorite phrase,
The one I’ll repeat to the end of my days,
The one that’s stuck with me like paper to glue.
It’s the seven words “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
My name is John Locke, and a hunter am I.
Some say I’m a farmer, but that is a lie.
When someone suggests it, I give him a clue
When I counter with, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
When I was a scrawny teen struggling through school,
My professor said, “Listen, John. Don’t be a fool.
You’re meant for this science camp. Sports aren’t for you.”
But I yelled at him, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
I wanted to discover who my long-lost dad was.
They found him but said to me, “Don’t think because
You share the same blood that he’ll care about you.”
But I shouted back, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
Well, I met with a woman who thought I was grand,
And I was about to ask her for her hand.
She said, “Drop your dad; he’ll just hurt you anew.”
So I had to cry, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
In need of renewal and fully prepared,
I set off for a walkabout, but one of them dared
To say that my wheels were a problem. On cue,
I lashed out with, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
Now I’m on the Island and I’ve been reborn.
I'm no longer a loser, no longer forlorn.
If you think of crossing me, let me review:
I will always say, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man!
- John, Walkabout
If there's one word I associate with LOST's John Locke, it's "destiny," but if there's one phrase, it's "Don't tell me what I can't do!" Here's a song reflecting that, to the tune of the Irish Rovers' I Don't Mind If I Do.
Don’t Tell Me What I Can’t Do!
You asked me to tell you my favorite phrase,
The one I’ll repeat to the end of my days,
The one that’s stuck with me like paper to glue.
It’s the seven words “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
My name is John Locke, and a hunter am I.
Some say I’m a farmer, but that is a lie.
When someone suggests it, I give him a clue
When I counter with, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
When I was a scrawny teen struggling through school,
My professor said, “Listen, John. Don’t be a fool.
You’re meant for this science camp. Sports aren’t for you.”
But I yelled at him, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
I wanted to discover who my long-lost dad was.
They found him but said to me, “Don’t think because
You share the same blood that he’ll care about you.”
But I shouted back, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
Well, I met with a woman who thought I was grand,
And I was about to ask her for her hand.
She said, “Drop your dad; he’ll just hurt you anew.”
So I had to cry, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
In need of renewal and fully prepared,
I set off for a walkabout, but one of them dared
To say that my wheels were a problem. On cue,
I lashed out with, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
Now I’m on the Island and I’ve been reborn.
I'm no longer a loser, no longer forlorn.
If you think of crossing me, let me review:
I will always say, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man.
No you don’t, ‘cause I can.
I’m a Do Anything That I Wanna Do man!
Please Kill the Girl (We Kill the World, Frank Farian / Giorgio & Giusela Sgarbi)
One of my favorite songs growing up was Boney M.'s We Kill the World (Don't Kill the World), an epic Save the Earth song that is both ominous and inspiring. I've been rewatching the early episodes of LOST's fourth season, and when I revisited this song tonight, I thought it might make a good vehicle for Charlotte's ordeal in Confirmed Dead and The Economist.
Mostly, I stick pretty close to the script, I think; the main change is that I imagine Daniel, who I've always thought of as a Man of Faith as well as a Man of Science, praying for her safety from a distance, and I imagine Jacob watching over Daniel and wanting to offer him some reassurance.
Please Kill the Girl (Don’t Kill the Girl)
Ben: (spoken) I see chaos, despair and chaos.
I see mercenaries on the rise.
This girl, this girl…
Coming to destroy.
She may be acting coy,
But she is in the know.
Many years ago,
I kicked her leader out
And now it’s turnabout.
John: We’ll take her hostage
And we’ll get some answers.
This girl, this girl.
Charlotte: What is wrong with you?
What did I ever do
To make you all so mean?
If I hadn’t seen
This with my own two eyes,
I’d not believe it, guys.
John: We’ll take her hostage.
We’ll get some answers.
Ben: If you don’t watch your back,
This girl’s team will attack.
Please kill the girl
(Daniel: Not her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: Not her!)
Ben: She’s one of them, we ought to condemn her.
Please
(Daniel: Protect her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I love her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I need her!)
Ben: She’s one of them, we should condemn her.
Sawyer: If this is the fault
Of taller ghostly Walt,
I wonder if we are
Traveling so far
And cooking up a scheme
Because of Baldie's dream.
John: We’ll take her hostage
And we’ll get some answers.
Ben: If you don’t watch your back,
This girl’s team will attack.
Please kill the girl
(Daniel: Not her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: Not her!)
Ben: She’s one of them, we ought to condemn her.
Please
(Daniel: Protect her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I love her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I need her!)
Ben: She’s one of them, we should condemn her.
Ben: Please
(Daniel: Protect her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I love her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I need her!)
Ben: She’s one of them, we ought to condemn her.
Please kill the girl!
Hurley: Don’t kill the girl.
Do her no harm.
Though we have cause for alarm,
Don’t kill the girl.
Let her take flight.
Hey, we’re the good guys, right?
Claire: Don’t kill the girl.
Though Charlie died
To warn us who was inside
That boat out there,
He’d shake his head
And say to spare her instead.
Daniel: Don’t kill the girl.
I love her so,
Though I’ve not yet let her know.
I’d trade my life
To keep her whole.
I’d trade my very soul.
Sayid: I’ll save the girl.
Miles, please come with me.
Frank: There’s a chopper spot for you if
You set her free.
Jack: Help save the girl,
‘Cause I don’t trust John.
Remember, Kate, whose team you’re on.
Jacob: Daniel, I know that this is hard.
But keep the faith and be brave.
When she returns, you’ll be her guard.
Her life is yours to save.
Hurley: Don’t kill the girl.
Do her no harm.
Though we have cause for alarm,
Don’t kill the girl.
Let her take flight.
Don’t kill the girl,
This girl.
Mostly, I stick pretty close to the script, I think; the main change is that I imagine Daniel, who I've always thought of as a Man of Faith as well as a Man of Science, praying for her safety from a distance, and I imagine Jacob watching over Daniel and wanting to offer him some reassurance.
Please Kill the Girl (Don’t Kill the Girl)
Ben: (spoken) I see chaos, despair and chaos.
I see mercenaries on the rise.
This girl, this girl…
Coming to destroy.
She may be acting coy,
But she is in the know.
Many years ago,
I kicked her leader out
And now it’s turnabout.
John: We’ll take her hostage
And we’ll get some answers.
This girl, this girl.
Charlotte: What is wrong with you?
What did I ever do
To make you all so mean?
If I hadn’t seen
This with my own two eyes,
I’d not believe it, guys.
John: We’ll take her hostage.
We’ll get some answers.
Ben: If you don’t watch your back,
This girl’s team will attack.
Please kill the girl
(Daniel: Not her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: Not her!)
Ben: She’s one of them, we ought to condemn her.
Please
(Daniel: Protect her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I love her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I need her!)
Ben: She’s one of them, we should condemn her.
Sawyer: If this is the fault
Of taller ghostly Walt,
I wonder if we are
Traveling so far
And cooking up a scheme
Because of Baldie's dream.
John: We’ll take her hostage
And we’ll get some answers.
Ben: If you don’t watch your back,
This girl’s team will attack.
Please kill the girl
(Daniel: Not her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: Not her!)
Ben: She’s one of them, we ought to condemn her.
Please
(Daniel: Protect her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I love her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I need her!)
Ben: She’s one of them, we should condemn her.
Ben: Please
(Daniel: Protect her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I love her!)
Ben: Kill the girl
(Daniel: I need her!)
Ben: She’s one of them, we ought to condemn her.
Please kill the girl!
Hurley: Don’t kill the girl.
Do her no harm.
Though we have cause for alarm,
Don’t kill the girl.
Let her take flight.
Hey, we’re the good guys, right?
Claire: Don’t kill the girl.
Though Charlie died
To warn us who was inside
That boat out there,
He’d shake his head
And say to spare her instead.
Daniel: Don’t kill the girl.
I love her so,
Though I’ve not yet let her know.
I’d trade my life
To keep her whole.
I’d trade my very soul.
Sayid: I’ll save the girl.
Miles, please come with me.
Frank: There’s a chopper spot for you if
You set her free.
Jack: Help save the girl,
‘Cause I don’t trust John.
Remember, Kate, whose team you’re on.
Jacob: Daniel, I know that this is hard.
But keep the faith and be brave.
When she returns, you’ll be her guard.
Her life is yours to save.
Hurley: Don’t kill the girl.
Do her no harm.
Though we have cause for alarm,
Don’t kill the girl.
Let her take flight.
Don’t kill the girl,
This girl.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
My Old Man's a Conman (My Old Man's a Dustman, Lonnie Donegan)
One thing we're learning on LOST is that John Locke has been manipulated many times throughout his life. But he's also manipulated others, as when he got Sawyer to kill Anthony Cooper for him. John didn't explain a thing to him beforehand. If he had, I imagine his explanation would have gone something like this, to the tune of Lonnie Donegan's My Old Man's a Dustman, as performed by the Irish Rovers. (Somehow I mixed up the last two verses when I wrote this; I guess the fourth verse always seemed more like a conclusion to me than the fifth. And I like the ending I've got, so the last two don't quite match up with the recording...)
My Old Man’s a Conman
Now, here’s a little story of many nasty shocks
That ended with my father arriving in a box.
I come to you now wiser. Richard clued me in.
We have a common rival, James. Let’s see… Where do I begin?
Oh, my old man’s a conman. He went by Sawyer too.
Can’t bring myself to kill him, so I'll just leave it up to you.
You’re capable of murder and you’ve searched for him so long.
Fulfilling your oath would help us both. Tell me, how could that be wrong?
When he and I first met, James, he led me to believe
He wanted to befriend me, but I was just naïve.
I gladly gave my kidney, for it seemed like destiny.
But when I went to see him next, he wouldn’t talk to me!
Oh, my old man’s a conman. He went by Sawyer too.
Can’t bring myself to kill him, so I'll just leave it up to you.
Now, though he had betrayed me, I mourned him when he died,
But then I spotted a parked car, and there he was inside.
He told me that he’d wronged me, and he almost seemed sincere -
Till he used me yet again! The outcome was severe.
Oh, my old man’s a conman. He went by Sawyer too.
Can’t bring myself to kill him, so I'll just leave it up to you.
I found some dirt on him one day and told him what I knew.
He said that my suspicions were unfounded and untrue.
I stood there by the window and almost bought his line -
(spoken) Then, James, he pushed me out, shattering my spine!
My old man’s a conman. He went by Sawyer too.
Can’t bring myself to kill him, so I'll just leave it up to you.
Now, my old man’s a conman who, one time long ago,
Seduced a lovely lady, James, and he took her husband’s dough.
(spoken) That fella was your dad.
He learned about the con
And shot his wife and shot himself and…
(spoken) James, need I go on?
Oh, my old man’s a conman. He went by Sawyer too.
Can’t bring myself to kill him, so I'll just leave it up to you.
It’s thanks to this same conman your life has been oh so sad.
So, sure as my name’s John, then, you’re meant to kill my dad!
My Old Man’s a Conman
Now, here’s a little story of many nasty shocks
That ended with my father arriving in a box.
I come to you now wiser. Richard clued me in.
We have a common rival, James. Let’s see… Where do I begin?
Oh, my old man’s a conman. He went by Sawyer too.
Can’t bring myself to kill him, so I'll just leave it up to you.
You’re capable of murder and you’ve searched for him so long.
Fulfilling your oath would help us both. Tell me, how could that be wrong?
When he and I first met, James, he led me to believe
He wanted to befriend me, but I was just naïve.
I gladly gave my kidney, for it seemed like destiny.
But when I went to see him next, he wouldn’t talk to me!
Oh, my old man’s a conman. He went by Sawyer too.
Can’t bring myself to kill him, so I'll just leave it up to you.
Now, though he had betrayed me, I mourned him when he died,
But then I spotted a parked car, and there he was inside.
He told me that he’d wronged me, and he almost seemed sincere -
Till he used me yet again! The outcome was severe.
Oh, my old man’s a conman. He went by Sawyer too.
Can’t bring myself to kill him, so I'll just leave it up to you.
I found some dirt on him one day and told him what I knew.
He said that my suspicions were unfounded and untrue.
I stood there by the window and almost bought his line -
(spoken) Then, James, he pushed me out, shattering my spine!
My old man’s a conman. He went by Sawyer too.
Can’t bring myself to kill him, so I'll just leave it up to you.
Now, my old man’s a conman who, one time long ago,
Seduced a lovely lady, James, and he took her husband’s dough.
(spoken) That fella was your dad.
He learned about the con
And shot his wife and shot himself and…
(spoken) James, need I go on?
Oh, my old man’s a conman. He went by Sawyer too.
Can’t bring myself to kill him, so I'll just leave it up to you.
It’s thanks to this same conman your life has been oh so sad.
So, sure as my name’s John, then, you’re meant to kill my dad!
Daniel's Warning (Coulter's Candy, Traditional)
In LOST, Daniel Faraday's life is just one tragedy after another. I imagine that his mother hoped that he would be able to go back and negate his death by her own hand. Meanwhile, Daniel's chief preoccupation was Charlotte, future love of his life, now just a little girl sneaking in a little chocolate before dinner. Here's a song from their tender scene together in The Variable, to the tune of the Irish Rovers' Coulter's Candy. (In the recording, the actual song starts just after the one-and-a-half-minute mark.)
Daniel’s Warning
Daniel: Little Charlotte,
Sweet red-headed tot,
I gave this a lot of thought.
Heed my warning; leave this spot,
But first, enjoy your candy.
Pledged my love in ‘54.
I couldn’t hide it anymore.
I have to alter the fate that’s in store
While you enjoy your candy.
Little Charlotte,
Sweet red-headed tot,
I gave this a lot of thought.
Heed my warning; leave this spot,
But first, enjoy your candy.
Charlotte: Listen, sir, your sorrow scares me so.
You look like a friendly fellow, though.
Don’t be so sad. Don’t let Daddy know
That I have been eating candy.
Daniel: Little Charlotte,
Sweet red-headed tot,
I gave this a lot of thought.
Heed my warning; leave this spot,
But first, enjoy your candy.
Darling girl, I’m overcome with fear.
Go with your mom and get out of here.
Escape this Island. Don’t come back, my dear,
But by all means, enjoy your candy.
Little Charlotte,
Sweet red-headed tot,
I gave this a lot of thought.
Heed my warning; leave this spot,
But first, enjoy your candy.
Daniel’s Warning
Daniel: Little Charlotte,
Sweet red-headed tot,
I gave this a lot of thought.
Heed my warning; leave this spot,
But first, enjoy your candy.
Pledged my love in ‘54.
I couldn’t hide it anymore.
I have to alter the fate that’s in store
While you enjoy your candy.
Little Charlotte,
Sweet red-headed tot,
I gave this a lot of thought.
Heed my warning; leave this spot,
But first, enjoy your candy.
Charlotte: Listen, sir, your sorrow scares me so.
You look like a friendly fellow, though.
Don’t be so sad. Don’t let Daddy know
That I have been eating candy.
Daniel: Little Charlotte,
Sweet red-headed tot,
I gave this a lot of thought.
Heed my warning; leave this spot,
But first, enjoy your candy.
Darling girl, I’m overcome with fear.
Go with your mom and get out of here.
Escape this Island. Don’t come back, my dear,
But by all means, enjoy your candy.
Little Charlotte,
Sweet red-headed tot,
I gave this a lot of thought.
Heed my warning; leave this spot,
But first, enjoy your candy.
Lapidus (Candida, Tony Orlando)
Frank Lapidus is only a sliver below Daniel when it comes to my favorite characters introduced in the second half of LOST. Candid, caustic, but someone who will really stick his neck out. And I get the feeling that if he'd been piloting Flight 815 as intended, the landing would've been a little smoother. Here's a tribute to him, to the tune of Tony Orlando and Dawn's Candida.
Lapidus
Your landing was clean on the Island grass so green
Where you saw the cow you mentioned to Miles.
Though you barely knew any of the Island crew
You protected them with your wiles.
Oh, Lapidus!
So heroic and harried.
You knew that Seth Norris was married -
That it was a phony site.
Oh, Lapidus!
You have the strength of a cedar,
The noble heart of a leader.
Glad ya flew the second flight.
We freely admit we loved your caustic kind of wit
When you grumbled, “We‘re not goin' to Guam, are we?”.
You think the Island’s weird and you’ll soon grow back your beard,
But Frank, you’re right where we want you to be.
Oh, Lapidus!
So heroic and harried.
You knew that Seth Norris was married -
That it was a phony site.
Oh, Lapidus!
You have the strength of a cedar,
The noble heart of a leader.
Glad ya flew the second flight.
Though you barely knew any of the Island crew
You took a risk and you preserved them with your wiles.
Oh, Frank Lapidus!
So heroic and harried.
You knew that Seth Norris was married -
That it was a phony site.
Oh, Frank Lapidus!
You have the strength of a cedar,
The noble heart of a leader.
Glad ya flew the second flight.
Lapidus
Your landing was clean on the Island grass so green
Where you saw the cow you mentioned to Miles.
Though you barely knew any of the Island crew
You protected them with your wiles.
Oh, Lapidus!
So heroic and harried.
You knew that Seth Norris was married -
That it was a phony site.
Oh, Lapidus!
You have the strength of a cedar,
The noble heart of a leader.
Glad ya flew the second flight.
We freely admit we loved your caustic kind of wit
When you grumbled, “We‘re not goin' to Guam, are we?”.
You think the Island’s weird and you’ll soon grow back your beard,
But Frank, you’re right where we want you to be.
Oh, Lapidus!
So heroic and harried.
You knew that Seth Norris was married -
That it was a phony site.
Oh, Lapidus!
You have the strength of a cedar,
The noble heart of a leader.
Glad ya flew the second flight.
Though you barely knew any of the Island crew
You took a risk and you preserved them with your wiles.
Oh, Frank Lapidus!
So heroic and harried.
You knew that Seth Norris was married -
That it was a phony site.
Oh, Frank Lapidus!
You have the strength of a cedar,
The noble heart of a leader.
Glad ya flew the second flight.
Tallies, Time and Tapestries (Poems, Prayers and Promises, John Denver)
One of my favorite scenes in LOST - and one of the most iconic in the series - is the opener of The Incident, which at last introduces us to the elusive Jacob and reveals that he has a nemesis.
When I watch this scene, I can't help being reminded of the old Looney Tunes cartoons about Ralph the Wolf and Sam the Sheepdog. Ralph spends his day trying to steal Sam's sheep, while Sam spends his day trying to thwart his efforts. Just when it seems like one will have the definitive victory, the bell rings to signal the end of the workday, and they cease their chase, exchanging pleasantries before they head home in separate directions.
Jacob and his Nemesis measure their existence in eras rather than days, but it seems that at the end of each era, they too have this moment. Just how genuine is their enmity, anyway? Do they truly hate one another? Or is it more of a partnership? Here are some musings from Jacob, to the tune of John Denver's Poems, Prayers and Promises. (Hat-tip to my good friend Beth, whose contemplation on the possible alchemical framework of LOST gave me the perfect way to extend my slightly reworked version of Jacob's famous quote.)
Tallies, Time and Tapestries
I’ve been on this Island for a long, long time -
Just how long, you know, my old friend.
Although you don’t believe in my grand design,
I’ll prove that you’re mistaken in the end.
We’ve waged an epic battle. I summon, you repel.
You see the worst in men, I see the best.
We keep the scales in balance, do our duties well.
But now and then, it’s nice to have a rest.
You and I understand
How years slip past like grains of sand
Until we stand again as brothers on this shore.
You’re dark and I am light, but now, we needn’t fight.
We have a chance to meet as equals, to enjoy a warm rapport
And talk of tallies, time and tapestries
And which of us is winning,
And whether it has been a waste
And when we will be done.
Why does the world have suffering?
Does fate or free will triumph?
Might we part in friendship when at last the war is won?
You see the ship is coming now; we’ll soon resume our game.
I know what you will have to say to that.
“They come, they fight, destroy, corrupt… It always ends the same.”
How well we have rehearsed our little chat!
You know as well as I do what I’ll tell you in response,
What I’ve replied for centuries untold.
“You’re wrong,” I’ll calmly counter. “My friend, it just ends once.
The rest is progress - lead refined to gold.”
You and I understand
How years slip past like grains of sand
Until we stand again as brothers on this shore.
You’re dark and I am light, but now, we needn’t fight.
We have a chance to meet as equals as we often have before
And talk of tallies, time and tapestries
And which of us is winning,
And whether it has been a waste
And when we will be done.
Why does the world have suffering?
Does fate or free will triumph?
Might we part in friendship when at last the war is won?
Poems, Prayers and Promises
When I watch this scene, I can't help being reminded of the old Looney Tunes cartoons about Ralph the Wolf and Sam the Sheepdog. Ralph spends his day trying to steal Sam's sheep, while Sam spends his day trying to thwart his efforts. Just when it seems like one will have the definitive victory, the bell rings to signal the end of the workday, and they cease their chase, exchanging pleasantries before they head home in separate directions.
Jacob and his Nemesis measure their existence in eras rather than days, but it seems that at the end of each era, they too have this moment. Just how genuine is their enmity, anyway? Do they truly hate one another? Or is it more of a partnership? Here are some musings from Jacob, to the tune of John Denver's Poems, Prayers and Promises. (Hat-tip to my good friend Beth, whose contemplation on the possible alchemical framework of LOST gave me the perfect way to extend my slightly reworked version of Jacob's famous quote.)
Tallies, Time and Tapestries
I’ve been on this Island for a long, long time -
Just how long, you know, my old friend.
Although you don’t believe in my grand design,
I’ll prove that you’re mistaken in the end.
We’ve waged an epic battle. I summon, you repel.
You see the worst in men, I see the best.
We keep the scales in balance, do our duties well.
But now and then, it’s nice to have a rest.
You and I understand
How years slip past like grains of sand
Until we stand again as brothers on this shore.
You’re dark and I am light, but now, we needn’t fight.
We have a chance to meet as equals, to enjoy a warm rapport
And talk of tallies, time and tapestries
And which of us is winning,
And whether it has been a waste
And when we will be done.
Why does the world have suffering?
Does fate or free will triumph?
Might we part in friendship when at last the war is won?
You see the ship is coming now; we’ll soon resume our game.
I know what you will have to say to that.
“They come, they fight, destroy, corrupt… It always ends the same.”
How well we have rehearsed our little chat!
You know as well as I do what I’ll tell you in response,
What I’ve replied for centuries untold.
“You’re wrong,” I’ll calmly counter. “My friend, it just ends once.
The rest is progress - lead refined to gold.”
You and I understand
How years slip past like grains of sand
Until we stand again as brothers on this shore.
You’re dark and I am light, but now, we needn’t fight.
We have a chance to meet as equals as we often have before
And talk of tallies, time and tapestries
And which of us is winning,
And whether it has been a waste
And when we will be done.
Why does the world have suffering?
Does fate or free will triumph?
Might we part in friendship when at last the war is won?
Poems, Prayers and Promises
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Before He Had Been Born (The Wind That Shakes the Corn, Traditional)
One of the saddest stories on LOST is that of Daniel Faraday, the gentle, addled quantum physicist killed by his own mother. In an earlier parody, I imagined that he died believing that she had led him as a lamb to the slaughter. Here, I take her perspective, and I imagine something a little different - that she insisted so intensely on his studies in hopes that he would find a way to undo her fatal moment (without ripping a gaping hole in the space-time continuum).
For this, I picked another tragic tale of love lost in wartime: the traditional Irish ballad The Wind That Shakes the Corn, as sung by the Irish Rovers. (I'm also assuming that Daniel was born after the Incident - that he was the baby with whom Eloise was pregnant at the time. If that's not true, this parody has a fundamental flaw...)
Before He Had Been Born
I stepped in on a shocking scene.
I stepped in with my gun.
Back then, I was the Island queen,
The boss, the number one.
I meant to rescue Richard, though
He greeted me with scorn
When I took aim and shot my son
Before he had been born.
I watched his fingers fleetly play
The music he adored.
I made him cast his dreams away;
It pierced me like a sword.
But still, I set him on his path,
Although my heart was torn,
In hopes I wouldn’t shoot my son
Before he had been born.
He grew into a physicist
With such a brilliant mind.
I thought, “If only I had missed!”
He was so sweet and kind.
And still he seemed a shattered man,
So frazzled and forlorn,
Yet unaware I’d shot him dead
Before he had been born.
“Whatever happened, happened” was
His often-heard refrain.
I hope that he was wrong because
If not, I strove in vain.
I pray he’ll somehow change the past
So I’ll no longer mourn
That in coldest blood, I shot my son
Before he had been born.
For this, I picked another tragic tale of love lost in wartime: the traditional Irish ballad The Wind That Shakes the Corn, as sung by the Irish Rovers. (I'm also assuming that Daniel was born after the Incident - that he was the baby with whom Eloise was pregnant at the time. If that's not true, this parody has a fundamental flaw...)
Before He Had Been Born
I stepped in on a shocking scene.
I stepped in with my gun.
Back then, I was the Island queen,
The boss, the number one.
I meant to rescue Richard, though
He greeted me with scorn
When I took aim and shot my son
Before he had been born.
I watched his fingers fleetly play
The music he adored.
I made him cast his dreams away;
It pierced me like a sword.
But still, I set him on his path,
Although my heart was torn,
In hopes I wouldn’t shoot my son
Before he had been born.
He grew into a physicist
With such a brilliant mind.
I thought, “If only I had missed!”
He was so sweet and kind.
And still he seemed a shattered man,
So frazzled and forlorn,
Yet unaware I’d shot him dead
Before he had been born.
“Whatever happened, happened” was
His often-heard refrain.
I hope that he was wrong because
If not, I strove in vain.
I pray he’ll somehow change the past
So I’ll no longer mourn
That in coldest blood, I shot my son
Before he had been born.
The Hidden Hatch (The Rattlin' Bog, Traditional)
One of the most intriguing mysteries LOST handed us was the question of what was in the hatch that John and Boone found hidden in the jungle. In season two, we got our answer. I imagine this song, to the tune of the Irish Rovers' version of The Rattlin' Bog, as a dialogue between the viewers and head writers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse, and I like how the structure of the song drops one piece of the puzzle at a time, just like the show. I also like how, at least as I see it, at the heart of the hatch is Love, especially if we can see the hatch as a metaphor for the show.
The Hidden Hatch
Viewers: What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
Darlton: Well, in that hatch,
There is a hall, a long hall, a spooky hall.
Hall in the hatch
And the hatch out in the jungle-o.
Viewers: What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
Darlton: And down the hall,
There is a room, a large room, a gloomy room.
Room down the hall
And the hall in the hatch
And the hatch out in the jungle-o.
Viewers: What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
Darlton: And in that room,
There is a Scot, a crazed Scot, a lonely Scot.
Scot in the room
And the room down the hall
And the hall in the hatch
And the hatch out in the jungle-o.
Viewers: What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
Darlton: And by that Scot,
There is some booze, some strong booze, some bottled booze.
Booze by the Scot
And the Scot in the room
And the room down the hall
And the hall in the hatch
And the hatch out in the jungle-o.
Viewers: What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
Darlton: And by the booze,
There is a book, an old book, a Dickens book.
Book by the booze
And the booze by the Scot
And the Scot in the room
And the room down the hall
And the hall in the hatch
And the hatch out in the jungle-o.
Viewers: What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
Darlton: And in that book,
There is a note, a short note, a secret note.
Note in the book
And the book by the booze
And the booze by the Scot
And the Scot in the room
And the room down the hall
And the hall in the hatch
And the hatch out in the jungle-o.
Viewers: What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
Darlton: And in that note
Are words of love, of true love, of constant love.
Love in the note
And the note in the book
And the book by the booze
And the booze by the Scot
And the Scot in the room
And the room down the hall
And the hall in the hatch
And the hatch out in the jungle-o.
Viewers: What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
Darlton: That’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o.
That’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o!
The Hidden Hatch
Viewers: What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
Darlton: Well, in that hatch,
There is a hall, a long hall, a spooky hall.
Hall in the hatch
And the hatch out in the jungle-o.
Viewers: What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
Darlton: And down the hall,
There is a room, a large room, a gloomy room.
Room down the hall
And the hall in the hatch
And the hatch out in the jungle-o.
Viewers: What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
Darlton: And in that room,
There is a Scot, a crazed Scot, a lonely Scot.
Scot in the room
And the room down the hall
And the hall in the hatch
And the hatch out in the jungle-o.
Viewers: What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
Darlton: And by that Scot,
There is some booze, some strong booze, some bottled booze.
Booze by the Scot
And the Scot in the room
And the room down the hall
And the hall in the hatch
And the hatch out in the jungle-o.
Viewers: What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
Darlton: And by the booze,
There is a book, an old book, a Dickens book.
Book by the booze
And the booze by the Scot
And the Scot in the room
And the room down the hall
And the hall in the hatch
And the hatch out in the jungle-o.
Viewers: What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
Darlton: And in that book,
There is a note, a short note, a secret note.
Note in the book
And the book by the booze
And the booze by the Scot
And the Scot in the room
And the room down the hall
And the hall in the hatch
And the hatch out in the jungle-o.
Viewers: What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
Darlton: And in that note
Are words of love, of true love, of constant love.
Love in the note
And the note in the book
And the book by the booze
And the booze by the Scot
And the Scot in the room
And the room down the hall
And the hall in the hatch
And the hatch out in the jungle-o.
Viewers: What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
What’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o?
Darlton: That’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o.
That’s in the hidden hatch,
The hatch out in the jungle-o!
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