On LOST, Jacob's nemesis claims that all he wants is to go home. But it seems there are several people standing in his way. Here's a reflection on that, to the tune of Bill Staines' All God's Critters. (Below is the closest version I could find online to the version I modeled mine after.)
Jacob’s Chosen
Jacob’s chosen are a thorn in my side.
Some have left, some have died and
Some just went rogue, as I pretty much guessed.
But I’m stuck with the rest.
And boy, do they give me a headache!
Take a look at Ford, he’s a thief and a liar.
He’s a lot like me, but his deep desire to
Help his friends is a troubling clue
He’ll try to con me too.
The Kwons are a pair with a whole lotta problems.
Which of them did he want to take his job?
I am not too sure, but it’s such a chore
To get them both at once!
Jacob’s chosen are a thorn in my side.
Some have left, some have died and
Some just went rogue, as I pretty much guessed.
But I’m stuck with the rest.
And boy, do they give me a headache!
I would like to think that Jarrah is all mine.
He’s a murderer, and I like that fine,
But I wonder if I can keep him in line,
Or will he mess up my plans?
Shephard is a hero. Shephard takes the lead.
He’ll never stand by, letting someone bleed.
It galls me that I can’t proceed
Till I’ve cracked his resolve somehow.
Jacob’s chosen are a thorn in my side.
Some have left, some have died and
Some just went rogue, as I pretty much guessed.
But I’m stuck with the rest.
And boy, do they give me a headache!
Reyes is the worst. He’s a sap and a saint
With a soul so pure even I can’t taint it.
He’s Jacob’s pet, so my chances are slim
Till I get rid of him.
Jacob’s chosen are a thorn in my side.
Some have left, some have died and
Some just went rogue, as I pretty much guessed.
But I’m stuck with the rest.
And boy, do they give me a headache!
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