The Ballad of Frank Lapidus (Pecos Bill, Eliot Daniel / Johnny Lange)

I was bummed out that Frank Lapidus was booted so ingloriously from the show, without so much as a sad word from Hurley afterward. I've always regarded Frank Lapidus as having a bit of a folk hero quality about him, so I couldn't resist memorializing him to the tune of that rollicking ode to Pecos Bill introduced to me by the Disney cowboy album Pardners.  (Post-finale note: Frank survived!  Yay!  But I figure a folk hero usually has wildly different accounts of his life, so I'll let this stand...)

The Ballad of Frank Lapidus

Well, Frank Lapidus was a pilot with a passion.
With precision, he prevented accidents.
He never crumbled in a panic when he flew for Oceanic,
Thanks to stellar skills and simple common sense.

So hip-hip-hooray, hooray! What a great guy-uy-uy.
Yeah, that Frank Lapidus really knew how to fly.
Hip-hip-hooray, hooray! What a great guy-uy-uy.
Yeah, that Frank Lapidus really knew how to fly.

Charlotte, Dan and Miles hopped in a helicopter,
And the chopper, it was piloted by Frank,
So in that bit of the Pacific, though the weather was horrific,
They all made it out, and he’s the one to thank.

So hip-hip-hooray, hooray! What a great guy-uy-uy.
Yeah, that Frank Lapidus really knew how to fly.
Hip-hip-hooray, hooray! What a great guy-uy-uy.
Yeah, that Frank Lapidus really knew how to fly.

Well, he flew Jack and his buddies off the Island -
And then three years later, flew them back again.
He shrewdly showed that he could steer a massive airplane from Ajira
To the landing strip that was engineered by Ben.

So hip-hip-hooray, hooray! What a great guy-uy-uy.
Yeah, that Frank Lapidus really knew how to fly.
I said, hip-hip-hooray, hooray! What a great guy-uy-uy.
Yeah, that Frank Lapidus really knew how to fly.

After hijacking a sub along with Sawyer,
Frank Lapidus heard a devastating boom.
It was a prelude to his dyin‘, but at least he went out flyin’
When the door sent him a-soarin’ ‘cross the room.

So hip-hip-hooray, hooray! What a great guy-uy-uy.
Yeah, that Frank Lapidus really knew how to fly.
I said, hip-hip-hooray, hooray! What a great guy-uy-uy.
Yeah, that Frank Lapidus really knew how to fly.

Pecos Bill