Re-reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, it suddenly occurred to me who Mikhail, one of my favorite Others, reminds me of: Mad-Eye Moody. They both are gruff, have a distinct accent, are seriously unhinged and have only one normally functioning eye. We know that Moody did a lot of noble work once; we're not so sure about Mikhail, but if he was a medic, at the least he probably patched up quite a few people. I probably shouldn't like Mikhail, but I do. I was very much looking forward to meeting him after he showed up on that television screen, and he was every bit as interesting as I'd hoped. I was most displeased with John for shoving him across that barrier. Did Patchy really deserve that? I don't think so... Anyway, here's my little ode to Mikhail, to the tune of Der Fuehrer's Face.
Mikhail
Who's the surly medic in a secret base?
He's Mikhail, Mikhail, with an eye patch on his face.
Ben is insecure when he goes to his place.
He's Mikhail, Mikhail, with an eye patch on his face.
Who makes tea and offers castaways a taste?
Mikhail, Mikhail, with an eye patch on his face.
John thinks keeping him alive would be a waste.
Mikhail, Mikhail, with an eye patch on his face.
Does he have a satellite? Big, impressive satellite?
Yes, he has a satellite. Handy-dandy satellite!
Does he like to shoot a gun? Does he think it's very fun?
Yes, he likes to shoot a gun. Yes, he thinks it's very fun.
He wades through cats and clutter.
I am inclined to mutter,
"Though it may be a disgrace,
I love your one-eyed face,
Misanthropic, hermetic nutter!"
Who's the surly medic in a secret base?
He's Mikhail, Mikhail, with an eye patch on his face.
Ben is insecure when he goes to his place.
He's Mikhail, Mikhail, with an eye patch on his face.
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