MacCutcheon (Dublin O'Shea, Lonnie Donegan / Joe Brown)

"What you're not, is worthy of drinking my whiskey. How could you ever be worthy of my daughter?"
- Widmore, Flashes Before Your Eyes

The scene in Flashes Before Your Eyes in which Charles Widmore so thoroughly disses Desmond with some help from a 60-year-old bottle of scotch remains one of the most iconic in the series.  I'm still not entirely sure if Charles was as oblivious to Desmond's previous existence as he seemed in that scene, but here I'm going to assume that he was. Here's Charles to the tune of the Irish Rovers' Dublin O'Shea.

MacCutcheon

“Here’s a little drink, boy.  MacCutcheon’s the best.
Although you’re my guest, I have deemed you unworthy,
And if you’re too base for the scotch on my chest,
Then how could I hand you my daughter, you fool?”

He came to my office to look for a job,
But he seemed like a slob, just a slouch and a roustabout.
Still, I was willing to toss him a bob.
Then Desmond asked for my daughter.

“Here’s a little drink, boy.  MacCutcheon’s the best.
Although you’re my guest, I have deemed you unworthy,
And if you’re too base for the scotch on my chest,
Then how could I hand you my daughter, you fool?”

I spoke of a hero, the Navy man Mac,
And mentioned the plaques earned by Admiral Anderson.
Maybe I could’ve cut the poor lad some slack,
But he’d landed himself in hot water.

“Here’s a little drink, boy.  MacCutcheon’s the best.
Although you’re my guest, I have deemed you unworthy,
And if you’re too base for the scotch on my chest,
Then how could I hand you my daughter, you fool?”

He left in a flurry, full of anguish and shame,
And I hoped that his name wouldn’t come back to haunt me.
But Desmond, determined to earn my acclaim,
Turned himself to a consummate sailor.

“Here’s a little drink, boy.  MacCutcheon’s the best.
Although you’re my guest, I have deemed you unworthy,
And if you’re too base for the scotch on my chest,
Then how could I hand you my daughter, you fool?”

He got to the Island I lost long ago,
And he made the hatch blow with the turn of his key.
Then he married Penelope.  Galling, I know,
But I’ll no longer call him a failure.

“Here’s a little drink, boy.  MacCutcheon’s the best.
Although you’re my guest, I have deemed you unworthy,
And if you’re too base for the scotch on my chest,
Then how could I hand you my daughter, you fool?”

Dublin O'Shea