That's the Island (That's a Woman, Phil Coulter)

In so many ways, LOST is about Jack, the first character we met in the series premiere. From the beginning, he assumed a leadership role and showed great skill in rallying most of the castaways and convincing them to work together for survival. He thrived in that environment, but he never enjoyed it and was always focused on leaving. Post-Island, he seems to have a change of heart.

My last reflection was a gently regretful soliloquy to the tune of Mountains of Mourne, as sung by Keith Harkin of Celtic Thunder. Both songs deal with a man confessing to the woman he loves that the place he was so determined to get to doesn't feel as fulfilling as the place he left. I started writing it before the season started, and then The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham helped me finish it.

It also helped me realize I wanted a whole song dealing exclusively with the extended Jack-John showdown, and That's a Woman, the Celtic Thunder duet between Ryan Kelly and Paul Byrom, seemed an ideal vehicle. John, like Paul, is hopelessly smitten, but in this case the object of his affections is the Island rather than a woman. He's a total sap when it comes to the Island, while Jack is vitriolic, laying on the Sawyerish snark as he details the reasons he detests the Island. This duet takes their debate from their first days on the Island up until their second arrival.

That's the Island

Season One

John: Island, such a heavenly haven.
Don't be craven.
Now we can make a new start.
Explore it.
Learn to adore it
Before it
Gives you the chance to depart.

Jack: A torturous trap where we happened to crash.
Better take it from me, that's the Island.
I'm mired in a mess like a medic on M*A*S*H.
We were not meant to be on the Island.
My boozy dad's body was bound for L.A.,
Not meant to be on the Island.
He ought to be deep in dirt by today,
Not staring and scaring my senses away
On the Island, on the Island.

Season Two

Jack: A den of abductions and dread and deceit.
Take it from me, that's the Island.
Full of murderous men we don't want to meet.
Take it from me, that's the Island.
Who's to say hatches are better than huts
On this mysterious Island?
Pushing the button's the work of a putz.
You sob, "It's our job!" but I think you've gone nuts
On the Island, on the Island.

John: Perfect and pure, that's the Island.
Miracle cure, that's the Island.
Driving us all to be daring,
Strange as the secrets it's sharing.
When you look in the eye of the Island

Jack: Look in its eye and you'll probably die!
That's the Island!

John: And ponder the "why" of the Island

Jack: John, it doesn't mean squat! There's no purpose or plot
On the Island!

John: You're purging your past
And you're special at last.

Both: The enigmas are vast
On the Island!

Season Three

John: Island, in need of protection.
My defection
Gave me the knowledge I need.
Don't cater
To the folks from the freighter.
They're traitors
Waiting to watch our world bleed.

Jack: Bait all the natives and blow 'em to bits,
That's how we exit the Island.
Hike up the hill 'cause the phone's on the fritz,
That's how we exit the Island.
Take a trek to the tower to turn off Rousseau,
That's how we exit the Island.
With Charlie in charge down below,
He'll let us know when all systems are go
On the Island, on the Island.

Season Four

Jack: It took a little more time than I planned.
Now we can exit the Island.
Do I have to put up with your silly last stand?
I'm ready to exit the Island.
You stay in your leafy botanical lodge,
Lavishing love on the Island.
Go in there and pick out a handsome corsage;
We'll hop on the chopper and get outta Dodge.
So long, Island, so long, Island!

Season Five

Jack: Look at my aimless and miserable state.
I think I'm missing the Island.
I'm dour and drunk and rejected by Kate.
I think I'm missing the Island.
Gotta find another plane
To get me back to the Island.
I'm trusting Ben. Am I insane?
I hear your voice inside my brain:
"What an Island!" What an Island...

Memory of John: Perfect and pure, that's the Island.

Jack: I'm perfectly keen to take Flight Three-Sixteen
To the Island.

Memory of John: Miracle cure, that's the Island.

Jack: You cured my doubts; too bad you're on the outs
With the Island.

Memory of John: Driving us all to be daring...

Jack: Thanks to your dare, I'm in the air.
To the Island!

Memory of John: Strange as the secrets it's sharing.

Both: When you look in the eye of the Island
And ponder the "why" of the Island,
You're purging your past
And you're special at last.

Jack: Now the die has been cast.

Both: To the Island!

Jack: Sure as I'm Jack, it's great to be back!

Both: What an island!