Goodbye Maddening Code (Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Elton John / Bernie Taupin)

Desmond is my favorite character of LOST's third season. I love the guy. I just wish he hadn't killed Kelvin - and by extension, half the people on the plane... Of course, he didn't do it on purpose, and he certainly had plenty of reason to be upset with Kelvin, a brusque, sarcastic and hardened man who used torture, deception and betrayal to achieve his ends. But he seemed to have at least some concern for both Sayid and Desmond, and the fact that he quit the army because men followed his orders seemed to indicate that he felt guilty about something. So I think Kelvin - without whom Desmond might not have survived his shipwreck, though how he happened to find him when he had that button to worry about is an interesting question - was a decent guy despite his unethical plan to steal Desmond's boat and leave him alone to press the button. In this song, to the tune of Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, I imagine him having a crisis of conscience - albeit a very slight one - shortly before his fateful encounter with Desmond.

Goodbye Maddening Code

Desmond can stay underground;
Desmond provided my plan.
I hope he won't come to harm;
I hope his sailboat can reach dry land.

I know I can't fool him forever;
I just need a week or two.
I doubt Desmundo has the guts to open
That door to figure out just what I do.

So goodbye maddening code
From those Dharma Initiative clowns.
That Scot washed up on the shoreline;
I'm glad to have him around.

Being alone in the hatch was no good.
I'll let him carry my load.
So long 4; farewell 8; I'll eliminate
My bonds to maddening code.

I wonder what he'll do then.
I guess he might go insane.
I suppose that abandoning him is demonic;
I've sacrificed him for my gain.

Maybe he'll find a replacement,
Another poor sucker half-drowned.
Then he can run after Penny,
Stealing the boat that the schmuck ran aground.

So goodbye maddening code
From those Dharma Initiative clowns.
That Scot washed up on the shoreline;
I'm glad to have him around.

Being alone in the hatch was no good.
I'll let him carry my load.
So long 4; farewell 8; I'll eliminate
My bonds to maddening code.